| POF PLAYERS/STALKERS How do you cope with them?
Posted: 3/9/2005 2:35:36 PM | have you had a run in with a POF player? Someone who makes you believe they are something that they are not, or who stalk you? Perhaps even try and hurt you in other ways? How did you handle it? I have someone who keeps building a new profile just to contact me, always says everything I want to hear, but it's the same guy... always gives himself away. I know there are women out there like that as well. Other than blocking these people, because they can follow you into threads even after doing that, how do you cope with these people?
[E-Mail a Moderator/Ticket] | |
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| POF PLAYERS/STALKERS How do you cope with them?
Posted: 3/9/2005 2:48:36 PM | It's never hapened to me,but it has happened to a couple of people on here. Usually they simply create a new profile. I would also sugest a different photo, just to further confuse them - they aren't too intelligent, so it doesn't take much ;-)
Hope this helps | |
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Missy
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Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 3 | |
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| POF PLAYERS/STALKERS How do you cope with them?
Posted: 3/9/2005 2:50:15 PM | Block them from messageing you.
Ignore their posts.
Ignore their innuendos.
Let 'em follow you and ignore them. They will soon tire.
Indifference is a mighty "club". | |
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| POF PLAYERS/STALKERS How do you cope with them?
Posted: 3/9/2005 2:54:17 PM | | Been doing the ignoring and blocking since December now, he doesn't give up, and I know I'm not alone in this. And changing my photo makes me look like a fraud to sincere men. I refuse to give up my idenity for a creep | |
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| POF PLAYERS/STALKERS How do you cope with them?
Posted: 3/9/2005 3:00:54 PM | | Happens in every place on the planet Browneyegirl, online and off. No one is immune. Sadly this happens to both women and men. Gays, straights, everyone. There are sick people out there. | |
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| POF PLAYERS/STALKERS How do you cope with them?
Posted: 3/9/2005 3:06:01 PM | Oh brother,,,
I'm crawling back in my hole,,,
But in keeping with you post, does he change his identity and then "trick" ya into answering him? Sounds like he really likes you to go through all that trouble. And I'm sure you've been honest with him,,,Continue to ignore, he'll grow tired of playing alone. Its like when you kids, and someone calls you a name. You can react, or find something thats not perfect about them. If you react, then its on,,you'll never get rid of him. But if you can beat em at his own game, he'll jet. | |
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| POF PLAYERS/STALKERS How do you cope with them?
Posted: 3/9/2005 3:06:35 PM | "You then take measures against him... Build another profile yourself, contact him, fool him..."
I've thought of that too, but what a waste of time & energy to spend on someone of no RELEVANCE! | |
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| POF PLAYERS/STALKERS How do you cope with them?
Posted: 3/9/2005 3:06:52 PM | Georgie - I didn't mean put up a fake pic, just a different one - different scene, different outfit, etc. but still you.
Edit - @ ticket - there's only so much you can do. The guy is creating new accounts, doesn't know the meaning of the word "no'. You remove his account, he just creates a new one. Even if you block his IP he can just use an internet cafe. I'mnot trying to put you mods down, or anyting, just being realistic.
[Report it in any Event. We need to know, and are often able to either ease or eliminate the Situation/Ticket] | |
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| POF PLAYERS/STALKERS How do you cope with them?
Posted: 3/9/2005 3:09:26 PM | what I hate about this whole stalker thing is that it makes the ladies so cautious (and with obvious reason) which leaves the regular men kind of out in the cold.
and wondering is right... dude don't amount to nothing. Ignore him. | |
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| POF PLAYERS/STALKERS How do you cope with them?
Posted: 3/9/2005 3:18:11 PM | ...and then there's further fallout, the domino effect: the guys resent it when you're SUSPICIOUS! & who can blame 'em? But how to NOT make incorrect assumptions ....?
Mystifies me! | |
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| POF PLAYERS/STALKERS How do you cope with them?
Posted: 3/9/2005 3:19:56 PM | I haven't said one word to him in the threads since December, and everytime he contacts me by email and I figure out who he is he instantly goes on block. Funny thing is, he is only harming himself. But I know it's happening to others out there, hense this thread. I know I'm not alone and yes, it has made me WAY MORE CAUTIOUS.
I've been a member for quite a while now, and nice to say am well liked by most here. I don't want to have to change my identity to show him he's got me running. I won't give him that power. He doesn't get my power!
as I said in my setting healthy boundaries thread; Would you intentionally allow someone to cut you with a knife or razor? Would you allow them to repeatedly cut you once or twice a month? It might not be so bad, you could get used to the pain, right? They could sterilize the razor, explain it to you in ways that you could come to accept over time. "So you can understand why I have to cut myself sometimes." You might think, "No, that’s crazy, I wouldn’t allow anyone to do that! I would stop it immediately, or get out of the relationship as soon as possible. I wouldn’t allow things to go that far!"
Nor will I allow this creep to make me give up who i am or what i enjoy | |
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| POF PLAYERS/STALKERS How do you cope with them?
Posted: 3/9/2005 3:22:50 PM | I met my ex on this site.
Yeah, we dated, lived together & even got married. a few months, after marriage
he started his abusive crap..etc...been there done that, the loser!!!
I left, and am moving on nicely. Ladies.. even guys, beware!
Notify all authorities if the creepies come visiting. always always be prepared.
started self defense course, and karate 2 months ago.
happier days ahead.
cocoPuff | |
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| POF PLAYERS/STALKERS How do you cope with them?
Posted: 3/9/2005 3:34:27 PM | | or the nice plenty of fish gentlemen can just twist him up into a little pretzle and leave him hanging from the nearest billboard for all to see as their driving by makes a nice funny impression on the cop who has to pull him down like to see them explain that one ;P | |
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| POF PLAYERS/STALKERS How do you cope with them?
Posted: 3/9/2005 4:03:37 PM | Not a good idea. Stooping to their level is never an option in my mind, makes you as low as they are.
ANd Ticket I have emailed Mods many times and nothing is done but putting him on suspension, he obviously knows how to block his IP because he keeps reappearing, but thanks anyway.
[Send me a Report/Ticket] | |
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| POF PLAYERS/STALKERS How do you cope with them?
Posted: 3/9/2005 4:23:37 PM | I've had the same problem. An ex-boyfriend who set up various profiles (on another site) just to contact me. Most of the time I could tell it was him, but once he had me fooled for about 2 weeks. Fake pics, fake local address, and so many details about his fake life...He went to a lot of effort to trick me.
After a while, I started to get suspicious so I asked for a phone conversation. The jig was up, he dumped me via email! It was later confirmed to be him by another woman on the same site, who was aware of what he was doing to me. (Kinda makes you wonder about her.)
I now automatically assume that any local guy who contacts me is this wacko. I always ask for a phone number early on when I am chatting with someone I am interested in. I explain why, and no one yet has refused to give me their number.
I think I'm lucky though, so far (fingers crossed!!) my bad apple hasn't found me on Plenty of Fish.
Good luck Georgie. | |
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mudbug
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Joined: 2/15/2005
Msg: 21 | |
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| POF PLAYERS/STALKERS How do you cope with them?
Posted: 3/9/2005 4:31:56 PM | | I'll have to try that, but I'm sure he'll say he doesn't give his number out... and of course this thread prewarns him of anything I would attempt. lol best thing I can do is continue to be warry and keep my gaurd up at all times. | |
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| POF PLAYERS/STALKERS How do you cope with them?
Posted: 3/9/2005 4:41:05 PM | @mudbug
you betcha honey. People are weird.
That same ex-BF was very jealous of a male friend of mine. My ex set up a female profile on this other dating site just to have a conversation with my male friend. He was always suspicious that our friendship was more than just friends. My male friend knew almost right away it was him, mainly because he asked too many questions about me.
My ex also got into my email program and set it up so that any emails from my male friend would be automatically forwarded to him. I only found out about that by chance.
You can never be too careful. | |
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| POF PLAYERS/STALKERS How do you cope with them?
Posted: 3/9/2005 4:59:10 PM | | Geez, Georgie....I don`t know what to say....I`ve never had any problem on POF...quite the opposite...The whole idea of what he is doing to you really bothers me...But I KNOW i wouldn`t change my profile or ID or anything...cuz then he wins...I hope at least he is a zillion miles away from you....I don`t understand what someone like him gets out of the harrassment? Aside from blocking, I don`t know a solution.....If we, (POF people) can help in any way(maybe emailing him and distracting him or something...I don`t know) Or maybe have one of the big, strong guys on here...e-mail him and suggest rather strongly that he stops!!!! Please let us know how it works out....After all, we are like family...redneckgirl133 | |
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