| funny sayings
Posted: 8/16/2006 1:59:01 PM | my favourite,
i found jesus...... he was behind the sofa the whole time.
one for the guys........ is that a bean in ur trousers or are you just happy to see me | |
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| funny sayings
Posted: 8/16/2006 4:51:12 PM | | What would Jesus do...for a Klondike bar? | |
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| funny sayings
Posted: 8/16/2006 4:56:43 PM | | ???? dunno what? or is that the sayin! oh how dumb i am sometimes | |
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| funny sayings
Posted: 8/16/2006 4:58:58 PM | | It's the saying, though I'm quite lost myself as to what he would do for a Klondike bar. He probably could make one out of bread, or water, or something like that. | |
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Posted: 8/16/2006 5:04:55 PM | | that is the most random saying i have ever heard lol | |
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| funny sayings
Posted: 8/16/2006 9:00:31 PM | | Jesus loves you, eveybody else hates you. | |
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| funny sayings
Posted: 8/17/2006 4:33:17 AM | I've been told i'm in my own little world, but that's okay cause everybody knows me here. | |
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vee46
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Joined: 8/10/2006
Msg: 8 | |
| funny sayings
Posted: 8/17/2006 8:30:50 AM | | dont look now but look whos over there lol | |
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| funny sayings
Posted: 8/17/2006 11:36:58 AM | | the one which gets said in our family at times... "Of course Jesus loves you, he doesn't have to live with you" which usually gets a pillow tossed across the room. | |
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Posted: 8/17/2006 1:24:47 PM | Jesus Loves you, personally I think you're a dork
Moses Shoots, Jesus saves
Jesus is alive... so is Elvis
I beleive there is a place for all of gods creatures, right next to the mash potatoes
I quit Smoking, drinking and chasing after women. It was the worst 15 min of my life | |
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Posted: 8/19/2006 3:35:42 PM | Now that's just wrong BCbrman!!! The mashed potatoes one.......okay....funny....but wrong!!
Everyone is gifted. Some just open the package sooner!
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
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| funny sayings
Posted: 8/19/2006 4:31:35 PM | Shit happens...and there's usually some a$$hole nearby that causes it.
The mashed potatoes line was on a billboard in Saskatchewan, apparently. | |
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Posted: 8/20/2006 11:03:43 AM | Just a few out of office replies......
1: I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.
2: You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.
3: I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless mails you send me until I return from holiday on 4 April. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
4: Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
5: The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.'(The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).
6: Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
7: I've run away to join a different circus.
8: I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as ' Brian ' instead of 'Tish'. | |
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| funny sayings
Posted: 8/21/2006 3:49:41 AM | | I quit smoking, drinking, fatty foods and chasing women for two weeks and I lost 14 days. | |
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Posted: 8/21/2006 11:38:28 PM | The following are not sayings; but funny. I handed it over today at the officer randomly (you know just to the people that wouldn't get offended...)
TO: All Employees
FROM: Human Resources
SUBJECT: Communications
DATE: August 21, 2006
It has been brought to management's attention that individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from employees who may be easily Offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers. Therefore, a list of "TRY SAYING" new phrases has been provided so that the proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner, without risk of offending our more sensitive employees.
> TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
> INSTEAD OF: And when the f*ck do you expect me to do this?
> TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
> INSTEAD OF: No f*cking way
> TRY SAYING: Really?
> INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh*tting me!
> TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
> INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh*t.
> TRY SAYING: Of course I'm concerned.
> INSTEAD OF: Ask me if I give a sh*t.
> TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
> INSTEAD OF: It's not my f*cking problem.
> TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
> INSTEAD OF: What the f*ck?
> TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
> INSTEAD OF: This sh*t won't work.
> TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
> INSTEAD OF: Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?
> TRY SAYING: Are you sure this is a problem?
> INSTEAD OF: Who the hell cares?
> TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.
> INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his *ss.
> TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
> INSTEAD OF: Eat sh*t and die.
> TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
> INSTEAD OF: Kiss my *ss.
> TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
> INSTEAD OF: F*ck it, I'm on salary.
> TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
> INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your *ss.
> TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
> INSTEAD OF: This job sucks.
> TRY SAYING: I see.
> INSTEAD OF: Blow me.
> TRY SAYING: Yes, we really should discuss it.
> INSTEAD OF: Another f*cking meeting!
> TRY SAYING: I don't think this will be a problem.
> INSTEAD OF: I really don't give a sh*t.
> TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
> INSTEAD OF: He's a prick.
> TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
> INSTEAD OF: She's a ball-busting b*tch.
> TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
> INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f*ck you're doing.
Sincerely,
Human Resources
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| funny sayings
Posted: 9/13/2006 6:41:49 AM | | OMG this is truly funny...dont know how it got stuck on page 9...sending it to my boss as we speak lol | |
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| funny sayings
Posted: 3/23/2009 7:23:22 PM | Dyslexics Have More Nuf.
Bad Spellers of the world UNTIE!
Failure is not an option!
It comes bundled with the software.
Kinky is using a feather.
Perverted is using the whole chicken.
I got a sweater for Christmas.
What I really wanted was a screamer or a moaner.
I still miss my ex.
but my aim is getting better!
Don't sweat the petty things.
Don't pet the sweaty things. | |
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| funny sayings
Posted: 4/3/2009 8:07:06 PM | Jesus saves.....
Gretzky scores on the rebound! | |
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| Sad but true...
Posted: 4/3/2009 11:05:36 PM | I didn't drink or smoke once for 13 years. Then came High School and it was all downhill from there...
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| Sad but true...
Posted: 4/6/2009 2:01:08 PM | Greetings:
In God we trust; everyone else pays cash!
And, for Dyslexics: Dog is my co-pilot!
TK | |
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| Sad but true...
Posted: 4/6/2009 4:12:23 PM | Monday Tuesday
Jesus saves ...... and Espisito scores on the rebound!!!! (saw it on a bumpersticker back in the 70's)
I just got a new fishin rod for my girlfriend....best trade I ever made! | |
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| funny sayings
Posted: 4/6/2009 5:09:59 PM | Jesus Saves, brings the donkey, rolls with hookers, and turns water into wine.
I want Jesus at my next birthday party!
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| funny sayings
Posted: 4/7/2009 1:56:33 PM | I have no problem with the man wearing the pants...I'll just pick the pants he wears!
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