| women with a lot of male friends
Posted: 8/17/2006 7:26:28 AM | | what's the first thing that goes through your mind? for some strange reason, for me, it's geez, am i gonna end up in the friend zone also?????? | |
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| women with a lot of male friends
Posted: 8/17/2006 8:22:57 AM | | That's a good question. I don't know that I've thought about it. I have more male than female friends only because I tend to have a few close friendships with women, not really into 'collecting' people. I would hope that a man wouldn't think he is automatically going to be in the 'friend' category with no hope for more... | |
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| women with a lot of male friends
Posted: 8/17/2006 9:24:37 AM | All my friends are male.
Lost my best friends to my exhusbands...
I have more in common with men. I love sports, been in the Military, work on cars and hate the mall.
In high school while all the girls were heading to the mall, I was on the football field or working on a car.
I am still a lady, but my interests are more male oriented. | |
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| women with a lot of male friends
Posted: 8/17/2006 10:38:21 AM | Google 'the ladder theory'. There is indeed a possibility that you will end up on the 'friend ladder'. Not that its a bad thing... if a girl has a lot of friends, male or female, she must be pretty fun to spend time with.
I've moved around a lot and have always found guys easier to meet and befriend that gals. Sure, some (or most) of these guys may have wanted something more from me at first but the good ones stick around even once they know for sure they won't be getting into my pants.
Nothing can replace the bond between good girl friends, however. Mine are true blue and, unfortunately, live far away from me now. New girl friends take more work and time to develop.
I'd be worried if a girl had no male friends. I know I've gained a lot of insight into the male psyche from my friends. I would hope I do the same for them. | |
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| women with a lot of male friends
Posted: 8/17/2006 11:13:32 AM | i might get bashed for this....but its one thing if a girl has a couple male freinds its ANOTHER if a female has LOTS of male freinds.......Just remember, when you start a relationshiip with this person, if it happens to go that far, are you (as a male) gonna be able to handle your women going out with all her guy freinds?.....and know this, one of those guy freinds is probably someone she may have dated a few times and now they are "freinds".....so with that said, can you handle your women going out with a guy as a "freind" if she dated him before?...questions you need to ask yourself before you start a relationship with a female with lots of guy freinds. It also makes you wonder when a female says "i get along better with guys".....why are they single then?...they should be the perfect catch --but yet they have tons of male freinds that either SHE isnt attracted to , or the men freinds arnt attracted to her.....i dont know,,,,just lots of questions i ask when i hear femals with lots of male freinds.
Im not saying men and women cant be freinds, it happens, im just saying that guys look at femals differently than females look at male friends.....you ask ANY guy who has female freinds and 90 percent of them would sleep with them if given a chance, jsut the way guys are, (sorry guys to blow your cover)...but its the truth. there are expection to the rules....all im saying is if a female has LOTS of male freinds, just know that ONE of those friends have treid to sleep with her AT LEAST once in there lifetime...now......do you still want to start something with her? | |
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| women with a lot of male friends
Posted: 8/17/2006 11:19:50 AM | None of my male friends I would be caught dead dating....They are just friends. The guys that I have been involved with (married to) never had an issue with my male friends simply because at any given time they were posted all over the world and no where near to cause a threat.
Those that were close by, the bf's or exhusbands usually became friends with and ended up having 'guys night out' without me...
I do have some female friends but just prefer my male ones because we have more in common. | |
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| women with a lot of male friends
Posted: 8/17/2006 11:25:49 AM | if you are such great freinds after the relationship why arent you still together then?....i have ex /gf and would dream of bieng freinds with them....not becuas i hate them or anything, just because they are my EX.....ex's are ex's for a reason....all im saying....you go out with your ex boyfreinds?....really?.....do you like pick up guys in front of them?.....
My whole point is if you get along with guys SO MUCH and you have "guys night out".....why are you single?....you should be the perfect catch.....but yet you have so many male freinds...i would just be worried that you have so many male freinds, i would just add to your list if i dated you..... | |
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| women with a lot of male friends
Posted: 8/17/2006 11:42:55 AM | | hey eman, i love the way you think man. cause im on the same level as you. im thinking to myself. ok this woman is either 1)too picky or 2)guys just dont want her meaning something is wrong with her. if you have a lot of male friends, also it could mean that you are a flirt or a player, not wanting a commitment. i don't have time for that mess | |
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| women with a lot of male friends
Posted: 8/17/2006 11:46:09 AM | | I'm not trying to be negative, im just saying when a female says "i get along better with males than females".....ok, that is fine, we will get along great, well, cause im a male. now, do you get along with them as FREINDS, or do you get along with them as a boyfreind?.....obvously if you have tons of male freinds, then you must not be "g/f" material, because all your male "freinds" would be all over you trying to be with you..... | |
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| women with a lot of male friends
Posted: 8/17/2006 12:26:41 PM | I work in the computer field and there are just more men in that field than there are women. So a lot of my friends are men. Me and my men friends might get together at each others houses, mostly at mine since I have the space and the cool toys, and our friendship revolves around technology. Occasionally we'll gather at a bar after work, but mostly the friendship is centered around work and our common interestes in computers.
I have a lot of women friends that I have known for many years and we gather and do girl things. Shop, movies, margarita nights and clubbing. My girlfriends and I associate on a more personal level and we tend to know each others thoughts dreams and secrets.
My friends also mix and mingle all the time, guys coming over when the girls are there and vice versa. I even have some friends who do not like each other, so for comforts sake I keep them apart. I never really sat down and considered whether I had more male than female friends. Though I don't think I have ever dated a guy and then relagated him to the friend catagory. Usually when I date a guy, my friends are my friends and are just aquaintences to him. If for some odd reason I quit dating him its not likely he'll hang around to change me and my friends into his friends. | |
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| women with a lot of male friends
Posted: 8/17/2006 2:44:06 PM | Hi, I'm Abbey and eman07, I think you make a great point. I have a good amount of guy friends and they either treat you like a little sister or they constantly hit on you, jokingly, so they say.
I can answer, for myself, at least, these guys are not boyfriend material, great guys to hang out with or catch a ball game with but not to date; some are not my "type", so to speak, but I enjoy conversing with them over subjects we both have in common.
I enjoy sports and attending sporting events and it's always easier to find a guy who will go catch an Astros game than it is to find a girlfirend who will, so my guy friends really come in handy,lol.
If I have a serious relationship then my situation does change, I don't mind introducing my boyfriend to my guy friends, but that doesn't always sit well. So, I don't hang out like I would if I were single, I keep in touch through email or phone calls, but they don't miss me, I don't think, lol.
I hang out with my guy friends because they are fun and we have things in common and we make great stand-in-dates for those dreaded weddings,lol.
A girl who has lots of guy friends doesn't mean she is not girlfriend material, it's harder to get along with girls sometimes, too much drama. It's just my opinion :) | |
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| women with a lot of male friends
Posted: 8/17/2006 3:44:36 PM | | Really? I usually think tomboy, or woman who has issues dealing with other women. Never thought bout I would be just the friend thing.. Hmm interesting... | |
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| women with a lot of male friends
Posted: 8/17/2006 7:23:35 PM | I have a ton of male friends. Some are ex-lovers and some have always been platonic and some of them are gay.
I am upfront about this and when I am with someone I am monogamous so my non-existant SO would have nothing to fear.
And I also enjoy having my SO (when I have one) become comfortable around my friends. I know some people like to keep their relationships separate from their friendships but I like making one big happy family  | |
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| women with a lot of male friends
Posted: 8/17/2006 8:12:15 PM |
are you (as a male) gonna be able to handle your women going out with all her guy freinds?
If'n you don't trust her.. dating her is pointless.
all im saying is if a female has LOTS of male freinds, just know that ONE of those friends have treid to sleep with her AT LEAST once in there lifetime...now......do you still want to start something with her?
So let me try to follow this...
If her male friends wanna "do her", something she may not have the faintest clue about.. she's not dating material?
Harsh.
Not every male friend will try to sleep with her.. TRY being the operative word.. if the guy tried and failed.. you still gonna blow her off?
I wonder why many people.. myself included.. think previous partners are NOT OPEN for discussion. Ever. Especially if I can get blown off cause a male friend NIGHT wanna do me. | |
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| women with a lot of male friends
Posted: 8/17/2006 8:16:14 PM | | I agree with Lux -- just because other guys might WANT to "do her" doesn't automatically mean she's available to be DONE. She is a person with choice, not a prize, you know. | |
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| women with a lot of male friends
Posted: 8/18/2006 4:11:14 AM | I encountered a similar situation to the gaggle of guy friends. But not quite.
I once met an attractive and intelligent woman at a mutal friend's birthday party. We hit it off and had a great time. She invited me over to her place a few days later for a get together with some friends. When I arrived I found her house packed with guys and only one other woman. Between hostessing and talking to her female friend, she did spend a lot of time with me. I was, however, able to talk to a number of the other guys. Almost all of them had gone out with her at some point in time. And the rude treatment I got from the few that didn't was a good indication they wanted to. I noticed these guys just all sat around and didn't really talk to each other. And when she entered the room, all eyes were on her. And any conversation with them she had to initiate. I was getting a really weird vibe at that point and the party broke up soon after.
You'd think I would have hit the road, but I was young and naive. Luckily(?) she lost interest in me after about a week. I guess I wouldn't have made a good addition to her ex collection. lol.
In retrospect, I wish I'd asked her what was up with all her exes hanging around.
My advice with the OP is to talk with the "guy friends" in these types of situations and then go with your gut instinct. It could just be innocent. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want to end up as part of that collection. It was very sad. | |
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| women with a lot of male friends
Posted: 8/18/2006 4:44:25 AM | Ummmmm...how about naming someone who DOESN'T like loads of attention from the opposite sex?
Either you feel you can trust the person you are exclusive with or you don't....with the first option, anything goes! With the second...you should go. | |
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eman07
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Joined: 6/30/2006
Msg: 19 | |
| women with a lot of male friends
Posted: 8/18/2006 6:49:27 AM | If i have a g/f i dont want guys calling my g/f at 2am trying to sleep with her, am i suppose to blow this off?.....NO, i will tell her that he needs to cut the crap out and end communication with her. I find it funny that if it was the other way, i dont think women would be so open to it. If i came on here and said i had tons of female freinds, and i have dated a few, but now we are freinds, are the women who are bashing me be so open?......also, if you have a guy "freind" and he calls you for sex every once in awhile and you turn him down, that deosnt make the female a bad person, but obviously the male thinks its more than just a freind.
The whole "women might not have the "faintest" clue".....PLEASE, are you serious?.....you dont think one of your guy freinds wouldnt lay you if you gave them a chance?....cut the "im so niave" attitude, i have said this a million times, women are much smarter than men, all women know this, dont play the "dumb" act now.......
No, i wouldnt blow a girl off if one her guy friends tried to sleep with her, but i would think if im dating her and i screw up, and this guy "freind" calls her one night after i say something or do something stupid, this guy is gonna comfort her and tell her everything is ok.....this is how shit happens.....also i would ask my self, if this guy is a freind why WOULD he ask for sex?....is that a freind to him?....doesnt make the female a bad person, just makes me wonder if i want a guy calling my g/f for sex..... | |
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| women with a lot of male friends
Posted: 8/18/2006 7:08:38 AM | Friends don't call you for sex...EVER. Neither do you DATE your friends....that makes them someone you are dating.
Either one of those happen & they are now PERMANTLY out of the 'friends' category as far as your SO is concerned...& you are quite justified in calling the nature of that relationship into question should she persist in labeling them as 'just friends'. She would be also...if you neglected to mention that a 'friend' was actually someone you used to date. | |
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| women with a lot of male friends
Posted: 8/18/2006 7:23:03 AM | When you single its common to have more freinds of the opposite sex..unless you have grown up and still socialize with your school/university friends...Not many of us live close to them anymore. | |
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| women with a lot of male friends
Posted: 8/18/2006 7:29:44 AM | Daboy thats an interesting deal. I recently dated a lady that says all females are jealous of her so she only has guy friends. I found that to be a bit strange. She was a knockout but so what? Plenty of great looking ladies have female friends. The funny thing is I have heard that before from other women. I dont know if its an ego thing or what. Maybe some of the guy friends are "backups"? I have 2 very close female friends that I would trust with my life but one is married and the other is my ex girlfriend. That way whoever I'm dating doesnt have to feel threatened by them at all hopefully.
Oh to answer your question I dont think most guys would worry about going to the friend zone. I think most guys would worry that she wa some sort of player. :) | |
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| women with a lot of male friends
Posted: 8/18/2006 7:34:59 AM | [If i came on here and said i had tons of female freinds, and i have dated a few, but now we are freinds, are the women who are bashing me be so open?......]
Another good point, made. You are so right, I feel that if I'm "dating" a guy I owe him the same respect that I want, there always seems to be a double-standard though, but hey that's life. Maybe the question, "do you have lots of guy friends?" should be automatic, nowadays, lol.
Bottom line, if a girl is really into the guy she's dating, she'll chose the boyfriend over the guy friends any day, there is a reason the guy friends are just friends. Just my opinion :)
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| women with a lot of male friends
Posted: 8/18/2006 7:41:22 AM |
Most of my friends are guys; if that is a problem, leave me alone; I have had way too many guys say that's great, then when we start going out, it's not so great anymore...I don't sleep with these guys, and if you meet them you will see why..
this comes straight outta my profile; I find that I get along well with guys, and most of the stuff I like to do is not girly type stuff; therefore, most of the folks that have the same interests as I do are guys;
oh, and guys don't have a problem telling you that you look like you've gained/lost a few pounds, or don't wear yellow, it makes your hair look green, whereas most girls won't tell you that, cause they want you to be a little less attractive than them (In my experience, anyway) | |
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| women with a lot of male friends
Posted: 8/18/2006 8:09:37 AM | | My first thought is I wish I had alot more male friends. I find it very difficult to do. The only ones I have are a couple who I had dated for along time and a few who I met online where there was no romantic connection involved. I'm all for having male friends. | |
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