| Sex with married men
Posted: 8/24/2006 5:42:29 PM | | I have an issue. I need some feedback. One of my best friends seems to hook up for sex with married men and it bothers me so much in that I lose respect for her as a person. Is this something I should remain silent about? Is it really none of my business? I can't help but tell her how I feel but I am so against cheating and ask her " what if it was your husband?" | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 8/24/2006 5:45:05 PM | | I always think it is the cheater who is in the wrong. If she is not cheating on someone then I see no problem with her, but the men she is sleeping with I think are worthless swine. | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 8/24/2006 5:46:31 PM | It's hard because they are your friend and you don't want to judge them..........
I had a gf that was cheating on her husband and it drove me insane... she felt it was ok because of something he had done. I tried explaining..... that two wrongs don't make a right and that she could be affecting others lives in a horrible way.
I finally had to tell her that i loved her but I didnt' want to hear about it..... because it was too hard for me. I don't believe in cheating on or with someone.
My dad cheated on my mom.....his 2nd wife... and his 3rd wife screwed him over...... | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 8/24/2006 5:47:56 PM | | She knows how I feel but yet continues with it and says she knows its wrong. I will tell her not to tell me about any of the married ones.... | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 8/24/2006 5:49:00 PM | hmm sex always with married men....
sounds to me that she is afraid of committment, i know alot of people like this....unfortunately, its very dangerous, alot of people can get hurt | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 8/24/2006 5:54:51 PM | | I agree, a long time ago. over 10 yrs ago, I reunited with an ex who had gotten married and I am not sure why I did. I knew they were headed for divorce but still it gave me no right. That was the only time I had ever done that and I still feel horrible about it. Lesson learned. | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 8/24/2006 5:56:03 PM | | Unless the 3rd party is unaware she/he is sleeping with a married person, then they are just as guilty. Homewreckers SUCK. | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 8/24/2006 5:56:33 PM |
oh come on, it takes 2 to tango. a "cheating swine" wouldn't be considered that if he couldn't find a willing participant. True, it does take two but in this scenerio the man is cheating....he is a part of something special, he makes the choice to throw that out the window and hurt the one he loves; the other is not responsible for anyone in this case but her well being....you may not agree but I feel it is not her responsibility to make sure others relationships remain stable....it is up to the people in the relationship. | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 8/24/2006 6:01:28 PM | Simple response here, "just say no". Why complicate your life? Enough single guys to have sex with.
Peace | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 8/24/2006 6:02:15 PM | thereal_deal,
Besides a small handful of people I think the world can f-ck off and die, so, no, I do not feel we as humans need to be looking out for others. If there is really something worth holding onto then there wouldn't be cheating in the first place. | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 8/24/2006 6:04:41 PM | | I am just wanting to know when theres a good friendship involved, do u steer clear of your personal emotions with the sitn or should it matter to me what she does? and this is not a pity seeking thread to whomever voted its' deletion. This is a legit concern from friend to friend and wondered if any others experienced this | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 8/24/2006 6:06:24 PM | lickul8tr,
In your case I think you should go with what you believe. For me it wouldn't matter that she sleeps with married men but if you find this to be wrong then don't ignore that feeling. I know when I am strongly opposed to something I try block it out of my life. If the friendship is worth holding onto then you are in a bit of a pickle. | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 8/24/2006 6:09:05 PM | | I know blood...but she is an awesome friend and I really dont want to be concerned with her choice in partners but it does make me angry. Maybe it will come to bite her in the a*** one day? Maybe that's what she needs? | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 8/24/2006 6:10:13 PM | I read about some study by some University. Louisville, I think, that many women tend to engage in something the study referred to as "mate copying." In other words, some women tend to believe that if another woman is either after a man or with a man, there must be something he possesses that's worthy of pursuit. I think that it is more of a safety issue. It is easier for a woman/man to avoid intimacy with a married person. And then there are the ones who simply find it more exciting to sneak around. I like the latter.
Either way, as a friend you have a right to tell her that you don't approve. Then Butt out. | |
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MISS13
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Joined: 12/4/2005
Msg: 15 | |
| Sex with married men
Posted: 8/24/2006 6:12:08 PM | Being friends with someone like that would weigh heavily on me.... | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 8/24/2006 6:12:28 PM | | I feel it to be the sneak factor..maybe some self esteem issues? I think more of my self worth than to treat others differently from the way I would expect to be treated. Is it really an esteem issue? | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 8/24/2006 6:14:19 PM | I wouldn't judge her if you do not understand the scene. Just don't participate.
Peace | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 8/24/2006 6:35:22 PM | bottom line is she's doing it...
you can't do anything about it...
but i give ya props on being a friend and tellin her straight up how you feel about it | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 8/24/2006 6:44:15 PM | | i have sex once w/a married man.. wait.. thats while i was still married 2 my ex husband!.. oops.. my bad.. : / | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 8/24/2006 6:46:10 PM | You were honest with her nothing more you can do. Not really any of your business unless its your husband.  | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 8/24/2006 6:47:09 PM | bloodless: I'm with you. I have to worry about me, my life, and my family. What others do or don't do is not up to me nor is it my right/duty to be worried about the decision they make for their lives. Some may find that selfish, self-centered, horrible or a host of other things but the reality is: I learned that I can ONLY control me. Once I learned that ~ my life and my relationships became so much richer than in the days when I thought I had to look out for everyone I knew and even some I didn't know. Personal preference, but I don't judge others, nor do I push my beliefs/opinions on others. I only live my life ~ I may interact with others, but I don't have the right to expect them to live how I live.
~OP~ If this is morally too difficult for you to deal with, you'll have to decide if you can see the good qualities in your friend or if all you see is her tendency to sleep with married men. The choice will have to be yours. I know from my own experience with a married friend who refused to be faithful to her husband (who was also my friend) that my decision was made and followed. That decision was to tell her what I thought, let her tell me her thoughts and it was not spoken of again. She refrained from telling me about her indiscretions and I did not inquire. She was a good friend, but a lousy wife. The only person who knows what you can and can not accept is you. Sadly, you may lose a friend ~ but if you are truly agonizing over her actions ~ she's probably not the type of friend you'd like to have in your life anyway. Best of luck to you.  | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 8/24/2006 6:58:07 PM | | I'm glad to see this issue bothers you, shows your integrity and maturity..of course both (him and her) are wrong in this situation...she knows it's wrong and may need someone to help her get out of the situation- someone to call her on it.. be respectful and a friend- hold her accountable...wouldn't you want the same? We all fall in traps and need a hand out... | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 8/24/2006 8:14:33 PM | | Thanks for the wise words. It isnt so bad that I would leave her firiendship as it isnt a regular occurance. I appreciate all who replied. | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 8/24/2006 10:18:05 PM | Married men go home in the morning.................LOL.............
Seriously though---what comes around goes around----wait till she gets married---she will be a SUSPICIOUS wife!!!! | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 8/25/2006 2:55:55 AM | | hey dont let it get to you so much, i am married and it happens, | |
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