| Hey SINGLE DADS THIS IS FOR YOU
Posted: 8/24/2006 8:22:41 PM | Hey single dads this thread is specifically for you, I was reading another thread on here that the dude wanted to know how many single dads actually get support for there kids so heres my question, Dads with sole custody where is the mom? What is she doing for work, like... How many of yous exs are junkies.... The only reason I ask this is from my experiance the court system is totally mommy oriented so in order for you to have been able to get your kids I would assume that mommy is a junky or a really bad mommy, am I wrong or right?
My babys dad has custody of his son, but it took a long big drawn out fight even though his little boy lived with us and his mom was in the mental hospital. Wierd thing is my babys dad wants nothing to do with his daughter so another question for you is are you so overwhelmed with the responsibility of your child you have custody with that you dont have time for your other child that resides with the mom (if you have another child) anyway lots to ponder eh daddys :D cant wait to read your responces.
Love Tiffany | |
|
| Hey SINGLE DADS THIS IS FOR YOU
Posted: 8/24/2006 10:07:31 PM | | she left when my son was 2 weeks old, have not seen her since. She's apparenlty moved out west, but I dont know for certain. | |
|
| Hey SINGLE DADS THIS IS FOR YOU
Posted: 8/24/2006 10:16:32 PM | My soon to be ex is a registered nurse and a instructor at a community college. I have custody or will have custody of my 14yr old daughter and get child support because my daughter wants to live with me. My ex moved to another state and took my daughter with her when she left me, that was 18 months ago. My daughter has always said she wanted to come home and go to school where I live. I let my ex know I wanted my daughter and I would fight to get her. With some talking I was able to get her to agree to let my daughter come live with me.
No drugs or alcohol was involved. My daughter is with me and divorce should be final in 3 months. | |
|
| Hey SINGLE DADS THIS IS FOR YOU
Posted: 8/25/2006 6:57:37 AM | I commend the single dads of this world. Its a tough job for any parent whether your are female or male. Any man that has custody of his children gets a two thumbs up from me. There is something endearing about a man that can extend himself as the mother and the father.
Good Luck out there | |
|
| Hey SINGLE DADS THIS IS FOR YOU
Posted: 8/25/2006 7:00:55 AM | | Well mine is in San Antonio Texas where I left her. She was not a drug addict. We did not fight it out in the court system. It was agreed upon first then we had a judge sign the paper work. I have had custody of my daughter since she was 3, now she is 12. | |
|
| |
| Hey SINGLE DADS THIS IS FOR YOU
Posted: 8/25/2006 7:36:13 AM | Well my case is a little different. My Ex left me with my son. She decided she didn't want to remain married anymore, and wanted to leave with my son. I knew due to the nature f my work, traveling all the time it would probably be easier if she took custody.
Well after 2 months she called me up stating that she is not able to handle him. His Autism is to much for her, and wanted me to take over custody. So I flew from Vancouver BC, to Dayton Ohio, got my son, and have had him ever since.
My Ex is not a druggy, in jail or anything. After talking about it for a little bit we decided that simply due to stuff like Immigration, Medical, Therapy, which was all set up to go here in Canada, she wanted her son to be plugged back into that.
I talk to my Ex quite regularly. We have a great relationship. I admit I get a little sour now and then knowing she has had another child with another man... and does little in the form of CS, and hasn't physically seen her son in over 2 years.. But overall we are fine with each other. And she does try her best to see her Son via Web Cam and stuff.. | |
|
| Hey SINGLE DADS THIS IS FOR YOU
Posted: 8/25/2006 8:04:48 AM | My pal, Chris, took his ex to court as she had legal custody and was getting the government money, yet he was the primary caretaker. He blew his stack and decided to go to court when one of her boyfriends called him up saying "I have your kid and I Don't know where she is."
The judge pretty much told the mother she was wasting his time, awarded custody to Chris, told the mother to repay the government funds. The mother was lazy and did not take care of the child, so for once the judge made the obvious decision. Chris married a good friend of mine, she accepted Andrew as her son, they have two girls together, nice house, both work, set good examples for the kids...etc.
the mother still lives in her dad's basement and has no job and does nothing. | |
|
| Hey SINGLE DADS THIS IS FOR YOU
Posted: 8/25/2006 8:16:58 AM | Hey dads, I guess I was wrong, I guess sometimes the system does work for the child. I think its great that you men have stood up for what is right for your children and done the best thing for them. Spiderham I know how horrible it feels to have your baby and have the other parent have other kids that live with them and not see the child that we have. My ex is doing that to my daughter per his decision. I am so happy to see that sometimes the system actually does whats best for the child it gives me hope. It is also nice to see fathers who are responsible..... Anyway I take it none of you dads have one of your children and dont see the other..
Cheers Tiffany | |
|
| Hey SINGLE DADS THIS IS FOR YOU
Posted: 8/25/2006 2:56:21 PM | Well, I'm a single father that has raised my 2 sons, 1 for the last 9 years and the other for the last 3. The oldest being 13 I had no problem leaving the 7 yr old here with him if I had to go to the store. The 13 yr old is very mature and resposible.
Several weeks ago, I came home to find my boys and their clothes gone. Their mother decided after all these years she wanted to play Mom again and took them. Being how there waws never any legal custody. The police will do nothing. I have to get a lawyer and takew her to court. How fair is that???? Not to mention she has never paid 1 dime in child support all these tears. | |
|
| Hey SINGLE DADS THIS IS FOR YOU
Posted: 8/25/2006 4:28:17 PM | Well Tiffany.......
I have been placed into my situation of being a single father due to the fact that my daughters Mother nearly killed her.
I had to do everything that the state wanted just so that I could have her returned to my custody.
However, I had her Mother's parental rights removed. I am doing everything that I can to care for her, but as with anything it isn't easy.
Daniel. | |
|
| Hey SINGLE DADS THIS IS FOR YOU
Posted: 8/25/2006 4:55:24 PM | Tiff:
The system in Canada at least is working more and more to equalize the gap between CP and NCP. For starters they specifically use terms like those in the courts now instead of Mom or Dad. Goes further to take alot of the emotion of out it, and look more at the actual case at hand.
That said. i know alot of men who have to work twice as hard to have their rights exerted, instead of simply being granted to them. Which is a shame. I personally think that in all Custody hearings the first thing thrown on the table should be Joint 50/50 cusotdy. And then work down from there, hopefully through negotiatons. | |
|
| Hey SINGLE DADS THIS IS FOR YOU
Posted: 8/27/2006 12:00:16 PM | For myself, my ex is not a junky, nor is she a bad mother in any form or way. It was just easier for her lifestyle if I had our daughter for the last few years.
I have recently had to work away from home, and rather than change my daughters school and her friends and her entire life, she now stays with her mom while Im away, and when this project is finished (and the last time I will EVER work away from home) she will be back living with me.
Communication without emotion is tough to do in these situations, but its SO vital to the child and we often forget that | |
|
| Hey SINGLE DADS THIS IS FOR YOU
Posted: 8/27/2006 3:04:18 PM | 1st..... mezcalman2001 do you know where she and your children are??? If not contact me and I can maybe hook you up with some resources to find and recover them.
This is the BIG problem with not doing the paperwork right from separation.
When my ex and I separated I had taken a contract about 3000 miles away, but came home as often as possible, I paid all of their bills and mine. I was actively trying to save my marriage and thought all the paperwork would hinder this.
She disappeared with my son, and filed for divorce 4 mos. later.( sole custody no visitation) I responded with a request for joint custody and then she completely went under the radar. I had to chase them across 2 continents for almost 3 yrs. to get him back. The first 4 court hearings the judge treated me like poop on a boot and I was flying 3000 miles for each hearing. (she never showed up once) The fifth, he apologized to me for his attitude, and said she had frustrated the court system long enough, things got better then.
My ex has a social/mental problem and refuses to get treatment. She has finally started to see him(at first she refused visits until stopped the BS and gave him back... like that was going to happen) But I can't allow any overnight visits. | |
|
| Hey SINGLE DADS THIS IS FOR YOU
Posted: 8/27/2006 3:30:27 PM | well i have my kids, and it is sad that the moms turend out to be crack heads, and some are bad moms and dont want the bother with raising them for some reson,
i have three kids and there mom dose not care neather of them,
and it is hard to find a date, man when they find out you have kids look out they want to run the other way!
it took me a long time to get my kids and every time i went to court it took a long time , she would rather see them in a home than with me , now i am not a bad dad, nor dose anyone else think that all she wanted was child support, she works under the table and all she cared about was money not the kids, i am going thru it now with my 4 year old daughter and her mom dose nothing but ho around and i mean ho the past year she has moved and i am not lieing 10 times, been thru one husband and 25 guys lol i no it is a lot but dam.
it is hard to get the court to see that dads have as just much right as a mom dose. i think that all kids need there mom and there dad just the same.
there is some dads that just dont give a shit about none of there kids and that is to bad ,
kids are great and i would never give mine up for nothing.
if ya dont want em dont have em i say. they did not ask to be here and they need a lot of love ,
thats what i say /////
sory if i made anyone mad!!! | |
|
| Hey SINGLE DADS THIS IS FOR YOU
Posted: 8/27/2006 3:32:08 PM | I was a single Dad for 10 years. My son is in college now.
Single Dads are the invisible population in this country. You never hear about us because we tend to just grin & bear it.
Funny how when we hear of a single Mom we we are brainwashed to pity her. When we hear of a single Dad we think one the other or both of 2 things; Admiration for him or wonder who the slut junkie is he was married to. Rarely is that fair or true. If there's anything I've learned is that each situation is entirely unique.
Just random thoughts . . . | |
|
| Hey SINGLE DADS THIS IS FOR YOU
Posted: 8/27/2006 3:42:42 PM |  YAH BABY,lolz whats up pepz nice 2 read yah all i'm a single dad of 2 girls 1 is 12 and the other is 14,there my life and the ladies of my house and like i have been fight'n 4 years 2 get them and finally i won and like there mother,"THE X"nailed me 2 the wall like 1400 a month and i payed over 60,000 in suport,plus i bought them all there things, but anywayz i have them now and 2 tell u the truth the mother can keep her money cuz we don't need it!!! the only thing i don't like is my older girls ,if she don't like the girls i try and date if she meets them or answerz the phone she will ask,"r u going 2 be my mommy" pmsl........just 2 scare them off! and the mother is like 20 mins away and i will never hold the kids back from her like she did me!!!! .....b....i....t....c....h lolz ok so yah single dad out >>>>>>>>>> ........zack.......PS still need that boy   | |
|
| Hey SINGLE DADS THIS IS FOR YOU
Posted: 8/27/2006 9:21:31 PM | Hi Tiffany...
I have two boys from my first marriage who I do not see at all - I pay support, technically have visitation rights, but have never been able to exercise those rights.
Then I met someone else, she had a son, didn't want anymore children and thought she couldn't have anymore - she was pregnant within a few months of 'hanging out' together. We decided to make a go of it, moved in together and had a beautiful baby girl. We got married a year or so later and things were going well.
My work took me out of town, she became restless and I came home one day to my daughter telling me about some guy that tucked her in... she was three... I was not about to lose another child, I went to court, cost lots of money and lots of time, but I have had custody of my daughter since she was four (almost 5). She is 13 now. And I still haven't seen my boys. | |
|
| Hey SINGLE DADS THIS IS FOR YOU
Posted: 8/28/2006 9:55:55 AM | Okay she just left, did you know she didn't want to be a mom. my mother left me at 10mths with my aunt and came back 12yrs later now she wonders why we are so different and why i don't trust her with my two kids it's like you have no experience being a mom, and when i finally asked her about it she said she was young and didn't want to miss her life. so you just keep telling him that she loves him and one day he'll know what to think of her.  | |
|
| Hey SINGLE DADS THIS IS FOR YOU
Posted: 8/28/2006 11:39:12 AM | WELL my ex is a junkie(reformed junkie i should say) and we share joint custody, but only because i allowed her to have joint.I could have had sole custody, but didn't want my son to suffer through not seeing his mom.
She gets weekly visits from social workers to make sure everything is going okay and that she isn't using again. | |
|
| |
| Hey SINGLE DADS THIS IS FOR YOU
Posted: 8/28/2006 1:43:05 PM | We don't have any agreement in place right now, but have had my kids for the last two months.
My ex is NOT a junkie, but she is in another province. We don't agree right now about the kids being in one province or the other, but I would love to have her close enough so that we could be both in the kids lives. Comprimise is what I come up with, but I will do what I think is right for my kids.
I may be back here asking for advice at some point or how to do french braids, but wished that that things could be civil so that the kids could be better off. | |
|
| Hey SINGLE DADS THIS IS FOR YOU
Posted: 8/28/2006 2:51:49 PM | | does anyone of you men avoid doing little things for your kids because when you do , your love and all the feeling you have for them comes to the surface and hurts so much ? i ask this because everytime i am buying something to send to my little girl . i all most can't to it . i even get tears in my eyes when i'm shopping for something to send her . love does hurt . | |
|
| Hey SINGLE DADS THIS IS FOR YOU
Posted: 8/28/2006 3:12:12 PM | ^^^^^^^ Let them run dude, let them run and to hell with anyone that can't understand that
When my son was missing it happened all the time ......I'd see a guy and his son walking holding hands or a child kicking his way through a pile of leaves and the tide would come in.
I thought Old Yeller was the real tear jerker....... but every Christmas movie would leave me in puddles.
Now that I have him back .........It happens when I watch him sleep
So what are you going to do.........gotta go with it...I mean look at me I am not the poster child for kleenex here!!!! | |
|
| |
Home
login 
