| Dating vs. Long Term?
Posted: 8/25/2006 4:32:31 PM | Ok I have a question. I think there is significant difference in dating and long term. While I right now only think I want to date doesn't necessarily mean I don't want long term. It could mean long term--but I don't want to mislead anyone stating "long term" is only what I want. How can you say long term when you haven't even dated someone??? You may find that neither of you want the relationship to be long term. I am just wondering. I don't want people to pass me up because I don't say "long term" but on the other hand, I would like to get to know/date/talk with people.
What are your views????? | |
|
| Dating vs. Long Term?
Posted: 8/25/2006 4:40:17 PM | | I put down dating, cuz I agree with you . . . Initially it has to be dating, to see what the long term potential is | |
|
| Dating vs. Long Term?
Posted: 8/25/2006 4:49:03 PM | Agree 100% with Scotchlassie.
How can yu have a long term relationship, unless you have dated first?
 | |
|
| Dating vs. Long Term?
Posted: 8/25/2006 4:50:37 PM | I agree with scotch, I also am in the dating category and where I plan to stay, for a while anyhow. No misconceptions there. Should something develop in the future, great, but for the time being I'm happy right where I am.
...maeflowers | |
|
CoV
|
Joined: 7/3/2006
Msg: 5 | |
| Dating vs. Long Term?
Posted: 8/25/2006 4:54:00 PM | Agree and have switched my profile back and forth btwn the two...some grey area..so you cleared it up for me, now it reads 'Dating'!
Ty | |
|
| Dating vs. Long Term?
Posted: 8/25/2006 4:55:33 PM | My view on this is much different. I have LTR because I want prospective dates to know that that is my end goal so in other words, if you're not looking for the same thing, don't waste either of our time  | |
|
| Dating vs. Long Term?
Posted: 8/25/2006 5:05:47 PM | | I definately like long term. Always look forward to a second date | |
|
| Dating vs. Long Term?
Posted: 8/25/2006 5:19:40 PM | | When I joined I originally put long term because that was my ultimate goal. After dating a few men and doubting I would find that, I put dating. After dating a few more I put talk/email. You figure it out. Just kidding. I figure you should put what your ultimate goal is. Of course you'll start out talking, dating. Just think it's easier if everyone states in the beginning what they;'re looking for. | |
|
| Dating vs. Long Term?
Posted: 8/25/2006 5:26:36 PM | I originally had "long term" on my profile because that's eventually what I want. I changed it to "dating" because one guy accused me of looking for an "instant husband." I did find it odd when I read his profile that he was MARRIED...... I do agree though that you need to date before you can make a detemination if you want long term with that person. | |
|
| Dating vs. Long Term?
Posted: 8/25/2006 6:44:54 PM | I pass over the guys who have dating as the chosen criteria. To me that means they just want to hook up and go out now and then without any real feelings involved. That's not what I want. I want a long term relationship and I think it's quite obvious that those start with a few dates. You don't jump into a long term the first time you meet someone.
To me the term date is redundant unless it actually indicates that is all they want. That's not what I want. | |
|
| Dating vs. Long Term?
Posted: 8/25/2006 7:01:48 PM | See? That's exactly my problem!!! I would like a long term relationship---but you can't start with that! Confused I am!!! Well I will see how it goes-have not had many successes yet-but not giving up!!!  | |
|
| Dating vs. Long Term?
Posted: 8/25/2006 7:09:12 PM | I also find this a tough one! I am seeking a long term relationship but I know it takes many many dates to determine if the person is going to be in a LTR with me. I do find that when I put LTR it spooked some guys, so I just put dating... what a dilema LOL. So I suppose that all LTR starts with dating.. Geesh!  | |
|
| Dating vs. Long Term?
Posted: 8/25/2006 7:12:23 PM | IF you put down "long term" then you are dating for the purpose of finding the right person for a long term relationship.
If you put down "Dating" then you are not really looking for a long term relationship at this time.
I am looking for long term so if i see "Dating" then i skip the profile.
| |
|
ksue44
|
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 14 | |
| Dating vs. Long Term?
Posted: 8/25/2006 7:14:17 PM | I think you have to think about what is the ultimate goal? Does one want to be a serial dater? Live together? Get married, etc. Use that for your profile.
I agree with the other posts that a LTR has to begin with "dating". | |
|
| Dating vs. Long Term?
Posted: 8/25/2006 7:17:33 PM | HL is right in one respect, it's in everyone's best interest to know going in what the person's ultimate goal is. I say that's being honest and aren't we all looking for honesty here?  | |
|
| Dating vs. Long Term?
Posted: 8/25/2006 7:18:35 PM | IF you put down "long term" then you are dating for the purpose of finding the right person for a long term relationship.
If you put down "Dating" then you are not really looking for a long term relationship at this time.
umm... yes, what you say makes sense, and I agree with your interpretation... but I am afraid that alot of men do not see it that way.
I used to feel that a man that puts down "dating" meant he was not looking for long term, but I found out differently.
I think if someone is not looking for long term they will choose "friends, email/chat, etc" I guess we all interpret these categories in different ways.
So the saga continues .... I think its safe to choose "dating" and in your profile say you are looking for Long Term | |
|
| Dating vs. Long Term?
Posted: 8/25/2006 7:20:01 PM | I have neither of these at the moment but whatever has been chosen in my profile will always be explained in the "very small" novel I have written. I think that people who skip over profiles just because of what the person chose, could possibly be missing out on the perfect match as people interpret those titles very differently. That is one thing I found with this site, with only being able to choose one option, it can limit your searches etc. I don't agree that the 'dating' option means looking for a hookup with no feeling, that's what I interpret 'intimate encounter' as meaning. To me, dating means exactly that, the same thing we did back in highschool and later, go out with people, have fun, see if you get along and if it has the potential to become a long term relationship. Most people I've met on here that choose dating are optimally looking for a mate. That is why I changed mine to friends, because I am not looking for a mate, I'm looking for people to hang out with, have a few laughs, with no expectations of a relationship of any kind. That is very thoroughly spelled out in my profile.
 | |
|
| Dating vs. Long Term?
Posted: 8/25/2006 7:33:58 PM | | For me, I can't say wether I will or will not be in for the long term. It will all depend on the woman I meet.If we end up really caring for each other, whatever happens, happens. You just don't know how you will feel as time goes on. That is the whole point to communication, dating, spending tim together etc . Isn't it ? You can only be yourself, and if you meet the right person, things will just happen. | |
|
| Dating vs. Long Term?
Posted: 8/25/2006 7:46:13 PM |
umm... yes, what you say makes sense, and I agree with your interpretation... but I am afraid that alot of men do not see it that way.
I used to feel that a man that puts down "dating" meant he was not looking for long term, but I found out differently.
I think if someone is not looking for long term they will choose "friends, email/chat, etc" I guess we all interpret these categories in different ways.
So the saga continues .... I think its safe to choose "dating" and in your profile say you are looking for Long Term
The problems is that there is a search by relationship type.
Singles (30-40) within 25 miles of me
men women
Long Term 282 182 1.54
Dating 478 248 1.93
I search by "Long term" and get 182 profiles of women to check.
if i need to check dating too then must check 248 more profiles to find the
few that are interested in "Long Term" in their profile
If you are women you must check 282 + 478 mens profiles.
would you check if you were a 35 yr old women ... 760 or instead 282 profiles | |
|
| Dating vs. Long Term?
Posted: 8/25/2006 7:54:38 PM | And, I avoided the middle men and just put "friends." I want to be friends first, since I think it takes that for a healthy relationship. However, in a perfect world, hopefully, we meet as friends, find out the chemistry is so strong that we want to date, we date and decide we want to be monogamous, and the angels sing and I'm in what I really want. A Long Term Relationship.
I agree that there should be more than one choice as there are on most other dating sites, since there is a LOT of gray, and not enough shades of black and white.
I suppose I miss out on guys who search only for LTR or dating, but then again, I've gotten a lot of letters from guys who are ready to marry me before they ever meet me. At least when a man writes to me as a "friend" I can expect to hopefully not be rushed too much.
Why the heck does all this have to be so freakin' hard???? *sigh* | |
|
ITV
|
Joined: 5/28/2006
Msg: 21 | |
| Dating vs. Long Term?
Posted: 8/25/2006 7:59:43 PM | For me I have decided that I really want to be friends first. But I tried to expand on that in my intro. As far as contacting someone else though. I don't reallt struggle with dating or long term. I think a date can lead to long term and and I kind of think that anyone who puts 'dating' is open to long term if it goes there. One thing I think about is that some people saying long term may consider going for dinner to be a marraige proposal. That would be a bit scarey to me. But if the profile looks like someone I might like to get to know, I may contact them whether it says 'dating', 'friends' or 'long term' . Nothing wrong with going for coffee. Heck I talk to strangers at the coffee shop.  | |
|
| Dating vs. Long Term?
Posted: 8/25/2006 9:16:43 PM | ..You nailed it slimguy, that is exactly how I feel. For the time being I am interested in dating
and if I should meet someone and something more develops, great. If I chose long-term than I am eliminating anyone that may be interested in dating. It can get complicated. Maybe it should state long term goals, who knows.
...maeflowers | |
|
| Dating vs. Long Term?
Posted: 8/26/2006 7:45:47 AM | if i need to check dating too then must check 248 more profiles to find the
few that are interested in "Long Term" in their profile
well so what if you have to weed through tons of profiles.. You could be missing out on "the one" because she has a different interpretation of the "dating/long term" definition. I would not skip any profiles due to what they are looking for - except "intimate encounter", as that speaks for itself.
 | |
|
| Dating vs. Long Term?
Posted: 8/26/2006 9:55:09 AM | if i need to check dating too then must check 248 more profiles to find the
few that are interested in "Long Term" in their profile
well so what if you have to weed through tons of profiles.. You could be missing out on "the one" because she has a different interpretation of the "dating/long term" definition. I would not skip any profiles due to what they are looking for - except "intimate encounter", as that speaks for itself.
I only used 25 miles as my search range and got 248 women who selected "Dating"
IF i increase it to 75 miles the number goes up 686.
I i use 100 miles there are more than 700 for dating and 565 for long term.
if you look at 1000 profiles and if you spend 2 minutes per profile average then that is about
33 hours.
With you logic I would send 2 hours every day for a 15 days on POF to look at 1000 profiles.
Do not forget that there are about 2 men per women on this site.
So you would need to double these number. | |
|
| Dating vs. Long Term?
Posted: 8/26/2006 10:47:41 AM | ..Are you telling me there are 2 men per woman on this site? Wow, I'd better get to H out of these forums and throw my rod out there haha. Here fishy fishy.
...maeflowers
| |
|
Home
login 
