| | he broke up with me..and calls daily?Page 1 of 1 | we were together 16 months, 1st 13 months all he talked about was getting married and i was the one that had cold feet. (we both were married twice before)..as i warmed to the idea, seems he started to pull away, then in june, out of the blue he broke up with me. said he wanted to be alone. But he calls daily, wants me to go places and do things with him...but he will not have sex or say that he loves me...so what is going on here? is he just holding on til someone new comes along or what? I REALLY need a mans feedback here! and they say women are hard to understand... | |
|
| he broke up with me..and calls daily?
Posted: 8/25/2006 9:04:01 PM | He sounds confused.
My tip? Tell him how you feel (if you do want more) and then make it clear that unless he can committ you shouldn't see each other again.
To me it sounds like he's trying to figure something out, but he isn't sure which way. In essence, he needs to get kicked in the butt and for that you need to make your position clear. | |
|
| he broke up with me..and calls daily?
Posted: 8/25/2006 9:11:45 PM | I'd be concerned that he is:
- unsure
- uninterested and got in too deep
- std's. He doesn't want you to get them
- another woman
- another man (it happens often)
it's all speculative, maybe he'll inform you, one day. | |
|
| he broke up with me..and calls daily?
Posted: 8/25/2006 9:16:23 PM | | It's a control thing. He doesn't want you, but he doesn't want anyone else to have you neither, so he's trying to monopolize your time. I'd tell him to stop calling already. | |
|
vivid
| | Joined: 6/30/2006
Msg: 5 | |
| he broke up with me..and calls daily?
Posted: 8/25/2006 10:19:31 PM |
But he calls daily, wants me to go places and do things with him...but he will not have sex or say that he loves me...so what is going on here?
Maybe he enjoys your company and respects you enough not to use you for
sex. Does he have other friends or outside interests to help distract him?
You should move on but keep the friendship - only time will tell his true
intentions but in the meantime don't waste time analyzing what he could be
thinking...maybe it's nothing. | |
|
| he broke up with me..and calls daily?
Posted: 8/26/2006 2:02:24 AM | | Talk to him and find out what is going on. There is a lot of emptiness and only he has the answers. It seems his actions were abrupt. You must find out the purpose and where you stand in this situation. | |
|
| he broke up with me..and calls daily?
Posted: 8/26/2006 9:56:19 AM | | Maybe he is making sure that you don't find someone else before he does. Some guys hate the idea that they can be replaced, even if they are the ones that ended the relationship. | |
|
| |
| he broke up with me..and calls daily?
Posted: 8/26/2006 11:52:34 AM | | I can't say I've courted someone for marriage but I've had similar situations with a woman I've been involved with. Could be he just loves your company. | |
|
| he broke up with me..and calls daily?
Posted: 8/26/2006 12:53:15 PM | I think the term is... USED. If he doesnt want a relationship with you... but always calls after having one... hes filling the "space" with you until he finds "the one" So if you dont mind being friends with benifits (not always mean sex) go for it... but dont be surprised when you get dumped 100% for the next ex-girlfriend...  | |
|
| he broke up with me..and calls daily?
Posted: 8/26/2006 3:36:29 PM | Sounds like you have become a safety net for him. Once you warmed up, the chase or challenge was over for him. He seems to be a player and user if you ask me.
Right now you appear to be no more than a comfortable person till he finds the next challenge.
I would move on. | |
|
| he broke up with me..and calls daily?
Posted: 8/26/2006 7:20:13 PM | | I'd say lay it on the line and say listen... and go over the facts of your relationship as you seen it and see how his response is, if he's still just wanting to hang out etc. i'd agree with some of the above posts cut the ties and move on. No reason to waste time on someone who just keeps you busy to make himself happy in what he is expecting of you and not caring much on your feelings. | |
|
| he broke up with me..and calls daily?
Posted: 8/27/2006 12:41:53 AM | Hi Simplelife!
First he was talking marriage.....you were almost convinced then he drops you!
He calls daily.....sounds like he doesn't get it. Uncertainty.
He loves me, he loves me not......feedback? Rolling a dice might give you a better answer....hmmm sounds like chance...... nothing secure nothing certain......
You were married twice before....you know exactly what to do.
0:)
wishing you the very best on your decision...
 | |
|
| |
| he broke up with me..and calls daily?
Posted: 8/29/2006 1:48:01 PM | If he broke up with you then don't answer his calls. Breaking up means you are over so maybe let him know that. He hasn't even been given a chance to miss you.
oops-sorry this was ask a guy- I'll leave now! | |
|
| |
| he broke up with me..and calls daily?
Posted: 8/29/2006 3:50:31 PM | Hmmmmm. Everbody here seems to be evaluating 'him'. What do you want? Do you enjoy his company? Can you handle the kind of relationship he is offering (at least for the time being)? Is it worth the gamble to see where this relationship might be heading? Do you need answers right now, or can you just enjoy the moment?
Assuming that he's not playing you (which has been covered by several other posters), then here is another opinion: In the relationships books that I've read, what just happened to you is called 'rubber banding'. He pulls (let's get married), you push (no, I'm not ready). Then YOU start pulling (hey, maybe getting married isn't such a bad thing...). He recognized the change in you and consciously or unconsciously, he felt the need to push back (i.e. push you away). The advice offered in the book is to stop reacting to whatever he is doing and give him some space. If it's just a rough spot, then given some time, you two might be able to get through it.
I agree with several of the other posters, see if you can approach the subject with him. He may not really know what he is feeling, so tread lightly. He may just need time to figure it out. From my own personal experience, if I feel that you accept me (and are not judging me or being defensive with me), then I'm much more likely to open up and share my feelings.
*****Warning ****** I'm a die-hard romantic, so I belive in giving people second chances......
Good luck to you! | |
|
Home
login 
