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 Shyguyjohnny
Joined: 5/15/2006
Msg: 1
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When is flirting cheating?Page 1 of 17    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17)
I love to chat online to women - and flirt maybe just a little - I make it clear when that is happening. Some friends, who may be women, are just that, friends. I dont flirt with everyone I chat to.

But my permanent partner is in the dark. I dont want to hurt anyone, and I consider that flirting on line is an innocent pastime - but is it? When does flirting count as cheating?

Love to hear your views - have you been there?
 IrishSpirit
Joined: 8/20/2006
Msg: 2
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 8/26/2006 2:57:08 PM
think of it this way, one of those girls you are flirting with is your girlfriend, unbeknownst to you...... Im sure she wouldn't be too impressed discovering you do flirt online with others... my question is why do you need or want to? Looking for something that doesn't exist or you already have, maybe? More than likely, it would hurt her feelings very much, if she cares about you, and I'm sure she does! So, don't get caught !!!
 *Flavia*
Joined: 7/22/2006
Msg: 3
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 8/26/2006 3:00:17 PM
Flirting becomes cheating when you start talking to and/or touching another woman/man in a sexual manner without the knowledge of your partner.
 000firefighter
Joined: 12/25/2005
Msg: 4
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 8/26/2006 3:07:27 PM
If you wouldn't do it if your partner was there ,,thats cheating...Ex .you call some one sexy!!!would you di it if your partner was listening or in the room,,I think not.I'm not sure why women would even want to chat with you if you are in a relationship.This is a dating site not a chat site.Just my opinion.
 DrZoidberg
Joined: 12/20/2005
Msg: 5
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When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 8/26/2006 3:09:15 PM

I love to chat online to women - and flirt maybe just a little - I make it clear when that is happening. Some friends, who may be women, are just that, friends. I dont flirt with everyone I chat to.

But my permanent partner is in the dark. I dont want to hurt anyone, and I consider that flirting on line is an innocent pastime - but is it? When does flirting count as cheating?

Love to hear your views - have you been there?


It may not be cheating but you are certainly being deceptive. Not a good way to build a relationship. Then again, maybe she's doing the same thing and that shouldn't bother you I guess since its so innocent.
 Funme40
Joined: 4/4/2006
Msg: 6
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 8/26/2006 3:11:19 PM
So you’re admitting that you’re of those ****ing liars who come online having a partner in the dark just to boost your ego? We already have enough players and idiots on here and you could do everyone a favor by getting lost! This is a dating site, not a play ground!
 jr52052
Joined: 5/11/2006
Msg: 7
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When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 8/26/2006 3:15:43 PM
When you mean it.
 Shyguyjohnny
Joined: 5/15/2006
Msg: 8
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When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 8/26/2006 3:18:26 PM
looks like the consensus is that flirting is cheating - and no I tell everyone i am married - so no need to be quite so rude about it Funme
 heyitsdoug
Joined: 3/8/2006
Msg: 9
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 8/26/2006 3:19:58 PM
If you didn't already it's know it's wrong, you wouldn't be hiding it.
You know it would hurt her if she knew, because that's your lame-assed
excuse for keeping her "in the dark". There are two main questions to
ask yourself when deciding if something is ok.

1) Would you be ok with her doing it?

2) Would she be ok with you doing it?

If either answer is no.........don't do it,
or at least be adult enough to be honest about it and
accept the consequences.
 Downeyrules
Joined: 7/11/2006
Msg: 10
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 8/26/2006 3:20:40 PM
MSG 8 ^^^ According to Funme's profile, he's a manager. Have you ever seen a nice manager?

Btw, OP, if people would put as much effort into studying instead of defining what is cheating, we would already have found atomic fission. That's a key component into teleporters, which in turn will allow me to pee from my TV couch directly into the toilet.
 Formerly known as ece7405
Joined: 3/13/2006
Msg: 11
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 8/26/2006 3:22:10 PM
If you wouldn't do it if your partner was there, thats cheating


^^^^ Exactly. Anything you wouldn't do in front of your partner is considered cheating.
 bikerbabii
Joined: 8/5/2006
Msg: 12
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 8/26/2006 3:27:22 PM
It's not cheating per se but it's disrespectful. You say you are happily married so why don't you delete your profile and go spend some happy time with your wife instead?

I find what you do disrespectful. Find a better pastime.
 Diana Maria
Joined: 8/21/2006
Msg: 13
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When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 8/26/2006 3:38:07 PM
That's all depends between the both of you.If she understands that you just like attention and flirting is not the issue then its fine.But when you hide it from her and kept her in the dark that's cheating.If it is just a normal conversation no flirting involved then i would not worry about it.Men in general in marriage life can't truly get away from this simple flirting stuff.Ussualy ends up in arguments and nasty fights on a daily basis. You need to be open with her about these things and give her assurance you meant nothing wrong.This is your life and no one can truly tell you what to do.

Good luck to you and have agreat evening
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 14
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When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 8/26/2006 3:38:53 PM
Poor OP ~ never ask this type of question in a POF forum. You'll never get an answer you'll be happy with. I think it's sort of funny you posted this, simply because you must need some affirmation that what you are doing is OK with at least one other person. I'll play devil's advocate here ~ but only for part of your situation: if you are flirting, that is entirely your option. If you are flirting with intentions of an intimate encounter or otherwise meeting someone, of course ~ not a good idea. As far as cheating ~ I'm not so sure it's cheating, but it isn't very fair to your wife. If you truly aren't doing anything wrong ~ let her in on your secret, let her put a profile here and we'll all make sure she gets her flirt time also. Then, you don't need validation and she's not in the dark. Simple fix ~ either make it a two way street ~ or let the guilt you obviously feel eat you up while you continue doing something you already know isn't a good idea.

My situation is that I am a forum junkie, I have quite a few friends here and I do email, but never IM (here or elsewhere.) Many times my b/f is sitting right here with me when I'm rambling words of wisdom that mean absolutely nothing to anyone. So ~ it is OK to be here if you are in a relationship, just make sure the other half of your relationship is welcome to do the same. JMO!!!
 Real_Brunette
Joined: 8/4/2005
Msg: 15
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When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 8/26/2006 3:41:54 PM
Flirting becomes cheating when you worry that your partner will find out. And that goes for emotional as well as sexual cheating.
 Funme40
Joined: 4/4/2006
Msg: 16
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 8/26/2006 3:43:39 PM
Then sorry. If women are stupid enough to waste time with a married man, good for them! However, it’s not very respectful toward your wife. Just picture if she did the same and how would you feel? If your marriage is good, don’t waste it!
 bam-bam f
Joined: 8/21/2006
Msg: 17
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 8/26/2006 3:46:48 PM
saves me typing loads of words ...i agree with heyitsdoug
 Bloodless™
Joined: 5/22/2006
Msg: 18
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 8/26/2006 3:48:16 PM
Flirting becomes cheating when you start talking to and/or touching another woman/man in a sexual manner without the knowledge of your partner.


I almost agree with this. I don't agree with the talking part as I tell men to go f-ck themselves on a daily basis. I do think if you are open about all that you do then it is not cheating...to keep it from your partner crosses that line.
 Eric48
Joined: 4/23/2006
Msg: 19
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 8/26/2006 3:48:47 PM
(When is flirting cheating?)

Anytime you won't voluntarily disclose your online activities to your partner.





But don't worry, she's probably seeing someone behind your back by now anyway.

 FitnessBunny
Joined: 6/27/2006
Msg: 20
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 8/26/2006 3:49:56 PM
Hiding anything from your SO is not a good habbit to be in. Why do you feel the need to flirt with other woman online? Not getting enough attention at home??
 Bookworm70
Joined: 11/14/2004
Msg: 21
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When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 8/26/2006 4:21:00 PM
You are taking the first step to having an affair. Now, it's just "innocent flirting". Next it will be an "innocent lunch", but why worry your poor wife by telling her about it, right? Then a hug and a kiss goodbye. Soon the hugs take longer....

Did you really think people here were going to condone your sh!tty behavior? As has already been said, if you're not comfortable doing it in front of your SO then something is very wrong. My guess is that you're looking for the thrill of somebody else finding you attractive and don't get that from your wife anymore. I wonder how much of an opportunity she has if you're sitting at your computer all night "innocently" flirting with other girls.
 Kataklysmic
Joined: 6/17/2006
Msg: 22
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When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 8/26/2006 4:41:31 PM
Flirting is just that; flirting. As long as you are not cybering any of these chicks or met them IRL, you have not crossed THAT line.........

HOWEVER...

As just about every poster above me has stated, if your SO does not know/is not involved.....that makes it cheating. If this is not something that you have discussed with her, and were given her CONSENT; then you are most definitely being deceitful and under-handed and should be flogged. JMO
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 23
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When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 8/26/2006 5:11:10 PM
Well flirting to me is something I only do when I'm single and not involved. I'm a very friendly and warm, open person. I have been told that at times that's taken as flirting when I only consider it being friendly. Their perception, not mine. I am friendly, and I can't or won't stop being that. I think the perception of me being friendly with a male is them flattering themselves, truthfully. What I consider flirting is trying to give some guy some hints that I'm interested. I know when I've done that, and it's not happened all that often. I'm friendly with everyone, as that's just a part of who I am. I usually greet all my friends with a smile, often a hug and a peck on the cheek.
I'm pretty direct and sometimes just blunt, so if I were flirting with someone and they weren't picking up on it or I thought they were flirting with me, i'd tend to cut to the chase. Give or ask for a phone number or make a date. Like I said before, hasn't happened that often. I don't really do the flirting thing. But maybe my idea of flirting is different, likely it is. I like to keep things real and understood. Big on communication, not into guessing games.
Flirting, whatever that is, when you're involved with someone is NOT healthy or harmless. It's a selfish fulfillment of a need that even though you're involved you still need to feel you're attractive to the opposite sex. Or it's keeping a backup in case you get dumped, and likely you will. It's a form of cheating, mental only, maybe, but still cheating.
The bottom line is, if you aren't satisfied with the person you're involved with, then you shouldn't be involved. From what I read of the OP, it's likely you're not deserving of a person being involved with you. If there was nothing wrong with it, you wouldn't have to keep it a secret.
I love my man, we have no secrets. He has access to all my accounts, anything I write or have written to me in emails, he can read whenever he wants. Same with me, that's what an honest relationship is.
 kellydawn
Joined: 4/15/2006
Msg: 24
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 8/26/2006 5:17:20 PM
if your doing something that you wouldnt want your significant other doing .. then chances are it oughta be counted as cheating.
 Bloodless™
Joined: 5/22/2006
Msg: 25
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 8/26/2006 5:19:06 PM
^^^^oooohhhhh....I like that.
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