| Is there "different" types of love between opposite sexes
Posted: 8/29/2006 6:28:08 PM | | I am wondering who on here can honestly, truly say they have experienced love - other than the type we all think about when we think of marriage. In today's society, with Marriage on the decline a "new world" or a " new sexual revolution " is happening as I type! So what are your thoughts, these new formed "relationships" are they based on "love" as we once knew "love" to be. If there are different types of Love - can you articulate the differences for me? Interested in everyones comments, opinions. The floor is open. | |
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| Is there different types of love between opposite sexes
Posted: 8/29/2006 6:54:17 PM | When a person feels what they believe to be true love, then that is as real as any other even if marriage does not enter the situation.
The desire to make the other person happy even at the expense of one's self... that is how I define pure, honest love. Regardless of whether it is with a romantic interest, or simply a friendship. | |
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| Is there different types of love between opposite sexes
Posted: 8/29/2006 8:03:40 PM |
The desire to make the other person happy even at the expense of one's self...
Amen...Letting one you love go they can find happiness without you is a sacrifice I hope noone ever has to make again. | |
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| Is there different types of love between opposite sexes
Posted: 8/29/2006 8:54:43 PM |
I am wondering who on here can honestly, truly say they have experienced love - other than the type we all think about when we think of marriage
I consider the love that you are referring to as "romantic love". The different types of love are most apparent in the way we express it. When and how people express love is determined by preferences. You may prefer to spend more time with someone who is outgoing, rather than quiet, or more serious rather than silly. You may be more physically attracted to someone who is short rather than tall, or older rather than younger. There are an endless number of qualities that we might prefer over others. And those preferred qualities determines who, when, how, and to what degree we express our love.
A romantic relationship is one where you have a deep feeling of connection to the other person. One of the ways you desire to express romantic love for them is through your sexuality. You may have a friendship with the opposite sex. If your love for them is based on that friendship then sex often destroys friendship love.
I assume you are not talking about love that we feel for a pet or family member, so I won't get into that. | |
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| Is there different types of love between opposite sexes
Posted: 8/29/2006 10:06:05 PM | Thanks Mustang so far your replies comes the closest to what I was hoping to gain insight on.
I guess I was looking to see if someone could explain the term "love" and the apparent many definitions. It has been said (although I do not know who said it) that there are many different types of love and many different displays of love. I know that there is what is usually referred to as "true love" or "first love" there is the "love" between friends - keeping in mind that my reference was between the opposite sex. But what about when two people connect, come together, enjoy each others company, respect one another, have a sexual chemistry but yet each know it is not "true love". What might that "love" be called. Am I grasping at labeling something that is better simply left as it is to enjoy, to be recognised, acknowledged,and held dear, and leave the "label off" in this instance? Comments..... | |
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| Is there different types of love between opposite sexes
Posted: 8/29/2006 10:21:44 PM | | Wow, I am about to eat my words from another post because I guess I'm forced to use an analogy to explain this. Thusfar I have experienced the intimate sort of love, but I've also experienced another form of love with a good friend of mine who is female. I have known her since she was probably...I'm going to guess 4 and now she is 22. I have been good friends with her and her mother and to a lesser extent her sister for the majority of that 18 years. I love her like I would love my sister but not in the Ozarcs sort of love your sister kind of way. However that is all I can really say on the subject. I do also have female friends whom I would not date/think of sexually as well but I don't love them so they are Not Applicable. | |
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| Is there different types of love between opposite sexes
Posted: 9/4/2006 3:58:45 AM | I reckon that in this Western world of ours the hot emotion called sex has been talked up out of all proportion to the stage where if we're not all at it like rabbits there must be something wrong with us! It's a great shame that we are not allowed to make up our own minds in private about sexual activity instead of being stoked up by the glossy magazine and media generally.
Real love is total understanding of, genuine acceptance of, total support and kindness for, plus loads of other pleasantries. Until we learn to walk on water, it seems we're not likely to be able to practice this stuff.
If we were able to practice this stuff, without getting irritable or angry, think how wonderful hot steamy sex would be then.
Unfortunately, most of us are dysfunctional in many ways, sex being no exception. She likes kissing for ages, he likes to get on with it. or she likes leather and he wants kindness. Or he starts to remind her of her dad and she doesn't want sex at all, Or he prefers watching the game on TV.
Its all ok during the honeymoon. But then what........................?
What a mess. Get a therapist and God help us. | |
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EB1
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Joined: 7/31/2006
Msg: 8 | |
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| Is there different types of love between opposite sexes
Posted: 9/4/2006 5:23:14 AM |
(OP) So what are your thoughts, these new formed "relationships" are they based on "love" as we once knew "love" to be.
I think our definition of "love" has changed in regards to romantic relationships. I believe it used to mean an unexplained attraction or feeling. Today, one looks for who they'll love. In other words, it appears people require a partner to have certain qualities. We see people with a "must-have" list on their profile. I don't consider that "love". We can say we love certain things about the person but I feel if we can specify why we love the person then it's not really "love".
For example, what would we say if someone asked why we love our parents? If they provided a little less for us when we were growing up would we love them a little less than we currently do? How can the great majority of people love their parents when people are so different? Is there a "must-have" list in order for one to love a parent?
I feel the difference today is people look at romantic relationships as friendship relationships as opposed to family relationships. It appears many people love their romantic partner the same way they love their friends. That's why we hear so much about "working" at a relationship.
We work at friendships. We do something for our friend and they do something for us. We keep a mental tally. If our interests change or we feel our friend is not reciprocating we move on.
I don't feel we take the same approach with family. In fact, it's the opposite. As we age we are more likely to grow in a different direction than our parents. For example, at age 10 we hold the exact same beliefs as our parents despite the fact we may not even understand why. As teenagers we form our own beliefs and as adults we most likely have definate differences. If anything, the love for our parents grows in spite of the increasing differences.
This is why I believe friendships do not make for good romantic relationships. Friendships are usually based on having things in common. As we grow/age our interests change. If a relationship is based on similar interests and those interests change then the basis upon which the relationship is built collapses. (Ideally, two people will want to spend time together and they will come to like similar things resulting in a friendship, as well.)
Today, it appears ones love for their partner is based upon one or more specific things and is contingent upon it/them. Sort of like wedding vows. "I promise to love, honor and cherish until I change my mind."  | |
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| Is there different types of love between opposite sexes
Posted: 9/4/2006 6:11:18 AM | Msg. 9 makes a good point...we all look at profiles to find what we have in common because that's the most concrete way to try to find if you're compatible.
But beyond doing a few things together, what REALLY counts is if you have the same values, if you handle problems/anger/yourself in similar ways...if you have similar outlooks on life, similar temperaments, and similar goals. Of course you don't want to be identical twins, there's room for complementarity too. But all those characteristics are much harder to put on paper than "I like to dance, play tennis, and go out to eat".
You just can't base a lifetime of love on a few hobbies! | |
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| Is there different types of love between opposite sexes
Posted: 9/4/2006 6:41:43 AM | As was stated, there are many different kinds of love. Family, friends, and mate love. Each falls into a separate category.
It has always been my belief that "mate love" takes time to form. Sure, there may be chemistry on that first meeting, as was said in other posts, but for the majority of people, it "develops" over time. A "caring" for the other person's feelings come into play. You take into consideration what would contribute to their happiness, for most of us realize, that happiness comes from within.
Trust and communication are key factors in any relationship. Without these two vital tools, love won't exist, it can't. It needs these to grow and mature.
Sure, most of us have been "in love" at one time or another, and perhaps we use that love to "compare" what it is we want in anther relationship, but each person is unique, as each relationship. If expectations are set beyond the clouds, then disappointment is sure to enter the picture.
Love happens over time.............. | |
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| Is there different types of love between opposite sexes
Posted: 9/4/2006 7:17:31 AM |
I am wondering who on here can honestly, truly say they have experienced love - other than the type we all think about when we think of marriage.
Well, I have several close, female friends that I have known for about 20 years. Totally platonic. I would have to say I love them to at least some extent, though exactly what sort of love it is would be hard to define. I also have an EX I am staying friends with. I would have to say that I do still love her, but in more of a "brotherly" way these days. There's no passion there anymore and never will be again, but we ended on good terms, so romantic love has transitioned into something like familial love.
I'm still looking for that old fashion sort of love.
knopper3 | |
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| Is there different types of love between opposite sexes
Posted: 9/4/2006 9:43:42 AM | Well yeah there are different types of love all over the place. I don't treat my mom the same way I treated the last g/f I was in love with, thats just sick and grounds for imprisonment I think.
I have a lot of female friends and I honestly truely love them. But not in the way that I would love somebody I was marrying.
I will do pretty much anything I can to help them out when they need it. Even if it's an inconvienance to me. Like giving someone a ride, if they walked it would take them 40 minutes, If I drive them, it'll take 10 minutes. A 10 minute inconvienance for me is totally acceptable to prevent a 40 minute inconvienance for a friend that I love.
I want these friends to be as happy as possible, when they fall in love with a new b/f, so do I in a wierd way. Seeing them get excited and being happy makes me become excited and makes me happy. Watching someone I love fall in love with another guy fills me with hope, that the old world love isn't gone completely, that there is someone out there that we can have that kind of companionship with. It reinforces the idea that I'm not going through all this crap and bs for nothing. That it will eventually pay off. | |
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| Is there different types of love between opposite sexes
Posted: 9/4/2006 9:57:22 AM | | There is not a different type of love between sexs.. Real love measure the same on every scale.. but there is a different in how love is expressed between men and woman .. it.s our respondabilty to understand it .. to properly engage it..I is not really hard to do either.. just be open and honest to it. | |
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| Is there different types of love between opposite sexes
Posted: 9/4/2006 12:39:27 PM |
(Msg 13) Post #9 hit the nail on the head and in doing so opened my eyes about some things I've been struggling with. Thanks dave1234!
YIPPEE! 
As you can see from my reaction people do not usually agree with me.
Glad to be of help. | |
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| Is there different types of love between opposite sexes
Posted: 9/4/2006 12:52:03 PM | yes there are different kinds and levels of love.
i have many girl friends that i love dearly. i would do anything for them and vice versa.
i have loved many women but truly in a sexual way, which was actually lust.
and i love my family which is a true love. such as i love God. He is my family also.
then there is the love of someone that comes from the heart. its a love that you know cant be from anywhere else but it just burns deep inside just to be around this person.
its a great feeling | |
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| Is there different types of love between opposite sexes
Posted: 9/4/2006 1:13:58 PM | This is how it works for "both" sexes/genders and one person may have/feel one type for you while YOU may feel/have another for them. Most all of us want the same from one another no matter which type it is but sometimes it doesn't work that way but then again, sometimes one can lead to another - sometimes not or sometimes we have a mix of different types for a person & vise/versa. "Nothing is guaranteed in the game of life & love".
Affectionate Love
caring
hugging
kissing
fondness
closeness
concern
friendship
being there for the person
a bond
doing things for the person
happiness
helping the person
holding hands
sharing
warmth
can be one-sided
not too intense
usually not sexual
Sexual Love
Physical attraction
arousal
lust
expressed through sexual intercourse
person is seen only as a sex object for one's own gratification
usually little to no commitment
contentment
excitement
fulfills a need
heart rate increases
intimate
kissing
touching
not long lasting
close while having sex, but not necessarily after
emotional
giving
happiness
special
think about the other person all the time
Platonic Love
friendship
not sexual
caring
doing thing together
not physical
supportive
enjoy each other's company
feel relaxed with the person
happiness
helping the person
normal behavior
sharing
trust
contentment
feel free to talk about anything
being reliable
respect
Romantic Love
candlelight dinners
taking walks
happiness
idealistic
want to be with the other person all the time
giving gifts
dream about the person
like a fairy tale
feel relaxed with the person
good times
physical attraction
sitting in front of a fireplace
sharing
courtship
doing things together
don't know the person very well
kissing
your world revolves around the person
honesty
glowing
giving
friendship
feel free to talk about anything
problems seem to vanish
sexual
sweaty palms
soft music
think about the person all the time
Puppy Love
occurs at a young age
a new experience
not long lasting
think about the person all the time
infatuation
feel shy around the person
a crush
dream about the person
feel like your floating
initially strong, but then fades
painful if not reciprocated
see only the person's good qualities
act immaturely
attraction
heart rate increases
kissing
sweaty palms
Friendship
Feel free to talk about anything
caring
helping
honesty
doing thing together
trust
sharing
understanding
sharing emotions
being there for the other person
good times
happiness
supporting
long lasting
loyalty
openness
sharing thoughts
a bond
closeness
common interests
concern
feeling relaxed with the person
listening to each other
respect
sadness
sense of belonging
sharing experiences
Infatuation
Think about the other person all the time
not long lasting
physical attraction
see only the person's good qualities
intrigued by some fascinating quality of the person
your world revolves around the person
you don't know the person very well
excited when you see the person
being love-struck
heart rate increases
sweaty palms
think you're in love
talk about the person all the time
want to be with the person all the time
a crush
based on first impressions
irrational
Passionate Love
sexual
caring
intense
think about the person all the time
a bond
heart rate increases
want to be with the person all the time
arousal
emotional
expressive
kissing
lust
attraction
don't know the person very well
euphoria
excitement
feel flushed
giving your self completely to the person
hugging
intimate
irrational
physical
the person is the most special person in your life
not long lasting
touching
want to make each other happy
Committed Love
commitment
continues regardless of the circumstances
long lasting
think about the person all the time
being there for the person
felt for only one person
honesty
sharing
caring
closeness
giving
respect
a promise
sexual
trust
understandinga bond
devotion
faithfulness
feel free to talk about anything
give and take relationship
live together
openness
passionate
sacrifice
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| Is there different types of love between opposite sexes
Posted: 9/5/2006 4:30:54 PM | Friends...We love our closest friends. These are the people who have an unofficial commitment to us. These are our buddies. These are the people that we can confide in and trust. They will stand with us and for us. They will not hide things from us and will be honest with us. They share life's experiences with us. Their life is intertwined with our life. Friends protect and look out for you. They are your confidants. We love our friends. We cherish the fellowship that we have with them and we strive to maintain that fellowship. Besides our family, we can trust that our friends will always be with us.
Marriage...Now love becomes more complicated when we consider a husband and wife. Why? Because marriage involves other components then a friendship does. There are many people who get married who are not bound by a love relationship. It is not the commitment or the vow that binds two people in holy matrimony. It is the love for each other that bind them.
A marriage relationship cannot be effective or fruitful if it is based on sex. A man can be sexually attracted to any women (though not necessarily covetous). This doesn't mean that he loves the women and wants to get married. It simply means that the women in whatever way that arouses him (for example her hair, breasts, legs, smile, hands, etc.) stimulated him. That is not love. It is more on the line of lust if you desire and than pursue this woman simply for sexual (physical) gratification. This does not involve a personal relationship only a physical one on a very short-term basis. Marriage on the other hand is based on a personal relationship that has grown into a love relationship.
I should also state that some of the expressions of love could exist without love. For example, a sexual relationship develops between a husband and wife who of course love each other. Their love and affection for each other is acted out sexually among other things. However, a man or woman can enter into a sexual relationship without love. You have the sexual act but not the motivation or expression induced by love. The motivating component in this case is sexual gratification or physical satisfaction. I discuss this topic more in my article on Marriage. sexual relationship is not love though one may get goose bumps when thinking about the other. Love is not emotions. Emotions are activated by stimulation. Therefore they are instances of a certain response to stimulation such as infatuation, sexual desires, chemical imbalances, and so forth.
Love for Others.....Love for others is a general love. It is not personal as in a friendship and the like. This is where you will help humans in general. For example, you may love people to the point where you will help during disasters, volunteer your time, and so forth. This is simply the love of God operating inside of you to love your neighbor. It is good but it is not as strong as the love you have for a friend or a spouse. Your love relationship with your friend or spouse may pre-empt any love expressions for people in general.
Love for others means that you care about other people in general. You have a heart for humanity. This however, is an impersonal love and not based on a relationship.
LOVE... is a force that binds two people together. This relationship could be a marriage, a friendship, a family, a church, etc. The common thread is that a relationship is involved and love, in one way or another, binds this relationship. Love binds the two together and then a commitment is made for a life together. | |
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| Is there different types of love between opposite sexes
Posted: 1/1/2009 3:52:54 PM | ~ Types of Love
Life is but a song we sing all life long
Sweetest harmony when love joins along
Our bodies nestle tenderness of our being
Our hearts souls and minds intertwining it seems
In the songs of our lives our chorus is divine
Communicating to our souls through our minds
~ The Letters of Love
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| Is there different types of love between opposite sexes
Posted: 1/1/2009 4:02:44 PM | That new world, new sexual revolution, it's been going on for thousands of years. Why do people think they invented human behavior, does no one read any history??? ACK!
LOL I should maybe read the dates on a post before I answer. Ugh. | |
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| Is there different types of love between opposite sexes
Posted: 1/1/2009 4:17:32 PM | Msg 12, knopper3: Referring to Romantic Love:
I'm still looking for that old fashion sort of love. That true romantic love has been classified as out of fashion by today's society... How sad is that ?
Msg 18: Excellent Post.
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Edit: Dayndaze:
LOL I should maybe read the dates on a post before I answer. Ugh.
I used to think the same thing about dragging out old threads...who needs a fresh perspective anyway right? 
If this thread would have been started afresh it would have been deleted as redundant in a hurry, so the option to try to started an old subject new, in the hopes of some new responses/insight seems to get trashed. | |
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