| Could I fall in love again at 56? Do I want to?
Posted: 9/1/2006 8:40:05 AM | | The above is a question I've been asking myself more often lately. I've been in love four times and each succeeding time, it has been harder and harder to get over. The last one was the love of my life and it took ten years(!) to get over her. (I'm the Real McCoy romantic type by nature.) I'm more physically fit than most 30-year-olds, more mentally lively than most 20-year-olds, still enthusiastic as ever in general and yet I wonder whether being in love is really worth the effort any more. Don't get the wrong idea: I've not become cynical or bitter or suspicious of the opposite sex so what's the matter with me? Anyone enlighten me? | |
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| Could I fall in love again at 56? Do I want to?
Posted: 9/1/2006 8:45:53 AM | I don't think you are ever too old to fall in love! And yes, I too understand that after something breaks up, it can and does take a while! I also believe that when older, it gets more difficult to meet up with someone, wherein, that connection is just "there" between the two of you. I too, am scared as hell to jump over the fence and let my heart out for fear it will get stomped on. Having said that, I can, and will when the time comes. There is nothing in this world like loving someone! Ok. Am off my soapbox! | |
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| Could I fall in love again at 56? Do I want to?
Posted: 9/1/2006 10:02:27 AM |
I wonder whether being in love is really worth the effort any more.
Well, good question isn't it? I'm sure we've all wondered the same thing! COULD you fall in love again at 56? Absolutely you can! Do you want to??? That's the real question.
Are you willing to open your heart and let someone in again after your last disappointment? I hear what you're saying. I've had major disappointments too and wondered what I did wrong. I found out I did nothing wrong, not a thing! (They both told me that.) Sometimes good (great) things come to and end without major drama. It just runs it's course. But life has a habit of 'going on' my friend and if we don't go along for the ride (the roller coaster I know!) we are going to miss some pretty spectacular things!
I guess we could sit in our home, stare at the tv, hide behind the computer and make a half hearted attempt at allowing someone into our life. Frankly, I'll go for the alternative of being 'open to opportunities' and going with the flow! And I mean open to all opportunities, love may be in the place you least expect it. You just have to be willing to take a second look.
So, yes, fall in love again! It's so good for the soul!  | |
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| Could I fall in love again at 56? Do I want to?
Posted: 9/1/2006 10:13:55 AM | "...love really worth the effort any more."
With an attitude like that, no.
But...what effort? As the saying goes one "falls" in love. If you have to make an effort, is it love? Love should be something that just append, no efforts needed. You meet, you like, you fall for each others, you love. Please do not get me wrong here, with today's life and all the stress, love does take a beating and here is where an effort is needed. But falling is easy and worth every time.
Doc Sage  | |
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| Could I fall in love again at 56? Do I want to?
Posted: 9/1/2006 10:52:52 AM | Good question OP! I don't see why not. Love has no age limits IMO. Falling in love is not the problem, the effort is building up a relationship and staying in love. No matter what anyone says, it does take effort but well worth it. I am a lot older than you, and I'm sure not giving up yet  | |
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| Could I fall in love again at 56? Do I want to?
Posted: 9/1/2006 11:00:46 AM | I wonder whether being in love is really worth the effort any more. Don't get the wrong idea: I've not become cynical or bitter or suspicious of the opposite sex so what's the matter with me? My guess would be fear. Because you want it to be wonderful but are afraid that it won't be and worry that maybe this time you might find it so hard to get over that you do become cynical or suspicious and not like your normal romantic optimistic self.
A friend likened falling in love to jumping of a cliff. You can stand back and say, "Wow, lovely view, I bet flying is so cool, and just look at that sky", or you can actually jump, and experience the flight, knowing you might fall on the rocks. After falling on the rocks a few times, you wonder if it's not better to just stay standing at the top of that cliff and admire the view from where you are.
Just guessing :)
(Edit: According to Douglas Adams the secret of flight is to throw yourself at the ground and miss. How long you keep trying is up to you. How cool does flying sound?) | |
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| Could I fall in love again at 56? Do I want to?
Posted: 9/1/2006 11:34:54 AM | Good question, OP.
I am 55, been in love twice. One relationship, my only marriage, was to a really good woman which lasted over 20 years and resulted in 3 beautiful children. The other lasted almost 4 years, to an incredibly beautiful and good woman whom I thought was my soul mate. I now realize that relationship helped me get over the pain of my failed marriage.
It has now been many years of being mateless and at times lonely. But rarely have I ever felt alone. I hope someday I will fall in love again, but like you I have lingering doubts, possibly fueled by fear. Hopefully I will never become bitter.
A good friend of mine was sharing with me that at 47, he thought he would never, ever meet someone special and fall in love. He just felt like he was going to be one of those people who die loveless. I remember telling him that if he wanted to meet MISS RIGHT maybe he should work on becoming MR RIGHT. We laughed at that, but he took it to heart and started doing just that. He dieted, started therapy, started working a 12 step program and did some volunteer work.
POW... 2-3 months later he met MISS RIGHT.
I think I will work on becoming MR RIGHT..... 
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| Could I fall in love again at 56? Do I want to?
Posted: 9/1/2006 2:23:16 PM | | Good advice there Bubba............ Sometimes I am not sure what is right from wrong and I have certainly made poor choices in my lifetime when it came to love. Must say that if we were lucky enough to have been "in love" at least once in our lifetimes, then that is something to be grateful for because some people never find love. I would like to find love again but I don't know how or where so in the meantime, I like your advice about try working on becoming Miss Right and not focus on finding Mr Right. Good luck! | |
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| Could I fall in love again at 56? Do I want to?
Posted: 9/1/2006 2:54:00 PM | Thanks, SHEEDOSIE, we ARE lucky to have fallen "in love" at least once in our lifetimes. I also think that if we learn from the mistakes we made in that relationship, we will be better equipped to make better choices the next time around.
Of course that is THE QUESTION. Will there be another "next time around?"
I don't know, but I think LOVE shows up when we don't look SO HARD. For whatever reason, when I work on helping the world become a better place... a higher quality person shows up in my life.
Does that make sense?
I know we need to GET out there and get into the game, but it doesn't mean we have to be the BATTER every inning. Eventually the OTHER team starts to feel like "OH JEEZ, IS THAT GUY/GIRL UP ONE MORE TIME???!!!"
I know it is a fine line. I'm still trying to find it. Until last week I didn't EVEN get into the game. If someone has the infinite answer I would love to hear it. | |
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ksue44
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Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 11 | |
| Could I fall in love again at 56? Do I want to?
Posted: 9/1/2006 2:57:22 PM | You can fall in love at 16, 36, 56, and 96 years of age. Any type of relationship will involve some pain, happiness, doubt, and other types of emotions. When you feel these emotions, it means you are a living, breathing, human being. When you are in a relationship, you're laying your emotions, your heart, and soul on the table. Don't be afraid to take that risk.
You say you aren't cynical, bitter, or suspcious. If your heart isn't open to love (which involves risk), then you're pretty certain to be alone the rest of your life. You have one of two options:
#1 - think about all of the good things that you experienced when you were in the relationship. Think about the things you learned from her (positive things). Think about the joy you got to experience, no matter how long or short it was.
#2 - dwell on the hurt, anger, and negativity. It's tough not to think about these things when you are in pain, but the negative things aren't going to create a better world for you.
The choice is really yours. It's so much better to see the glass half full than half empty. | |
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| Could I fall in love again at 56? Do I want to?
Posted: 9/1/2006 3:16:08 PM | Im the same age as you and been married and divorced 3 times (I divorced them, if you want to know why send PM) had my heart broken but it mends in time. Im still hoping to find love again, I think thats why most of us are on these sites. Dont give up.  | |
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| Could I fall in love again at 56? Do I want to?
Posted: 9/1/2006 3:37:42 PM | | Can you? Sure. Should you? Who knows? What I do know is love isn’t something you “get over” but rather something who’s loss you morn, and learn to live with. I have trouble with your question also because for me Love is a state of being, not of mind, its part of our nature; we can no more stop falling in love, than we could stop eating, or breathing, or sleeping. I know the pain of love lost can make it seem a curse not a blessing, but the ability to love is a blessing and at any age can be found and made anew. Hang in there. you will love again, and with your next love will come peace and happiness. I'm no psychic, but have a good feeling about that prediction. | |
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| Could I fall in love again at 56? Do I want to?
Posted: 9/1/2006 3:50:58 PM |
I know the pain of love lost can make it seem a curse not a blessing, but the ability to love is a blessing and at any age can be found and made anew.
Well said sd92029. Yes you can but I think if you have to ask "do I want to", maybe you're not ready  | |
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| Could I fall in love again at 56? Do I want to?
Posted: 9/1/2006 7:34:22 PM | I would like very much to fall in love for the FIRST time, been close, but didn't last. For me love is ever lasting, thats why I say the first time.
One thing I have learned over the years, my heart my break, but it does heal. So I'm here to try again, again, til I get it right. | |
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| Could I fall in love again at 56? Do I want to?
Posted: 9/1/2006 8:05:06 PM | The beauty of falling in love is that we don't choose the person we fall for, it just happens naturally. You may want to resist the temptation and steer clear of that person so you don't get hurt again, but aren't you setting yourself up to fail with that attitude?
How often is a person fortunate enough to find that type of love, where it's reciprocated for a day, a week, a month, a year, and if you're lucky a decade or more.
I would never turn my back on love, it is way too rare and I have way too much to give to the person chosen for me. | |
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| Could I fall in love again at 56? Do I want to?
Posted: 9/2/2006 8:33:53 AM | I find this question quite funny and have not read all the responses.
I find this question funny because as if love is awaiting in the corner, all I have to do is to say yes, yes and I will live happily ever after. Gosh, it is not that easy for I cannot fall in love with whoever comes to me. Besides, when true love strikes, it is not up to me to escape; whether I am ready or not. | |
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| Could I fall in love again at 56? Do I want to?
Posted: 9/2/2006 5:30:17 PM | Had an eighty-two year old man as a dear friend when i was in my twenties.
He met a woman when he was eighty-five...they fell WILDLY in love -TOTALLY pissed both of their families off, got married and moved to another city. they had four wonderful years together...he died when he was ninety-six.
He looked straight at me and said"yeah, we're eighty-five...but who gives a shit? | |
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| Could I fall in love again at 56? Do I want to?
Posted: 9/3/2006 10:30:34 AM | | That is so sweet. I let out a little sigh as I read it. Now do you think it is possible to fall in love with someone from just reading the words they've written? | |
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| Could I fall in love again at 56? Do I want to?
Posted: 9/3/2006 11:06:48 AM | If you're not sure if love is worth the heartbreak, just ask yourself if you would be better off never having loved.
I think the answer is obvious.
Love is one of the best things we do in this life. | |
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| Could I fall in love again at 56? Do I want to?
Posted: 9/3/2006 11:19:27 AM | magicfingers, great post, and it goes to show love can happen at any age.
elli
That is so sweet. I let out a little sigh as I read it. Now do you think it is possible to fall in love with someone from just reading the words they've written?
Certainly!!! and you and magic live in the same state! LOL.. maybe I should be a matchmaker?? | |
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| Could I fall in love again at 56? Do I want to?
Posted: 9/3/2006 12:03:40 PM | Well, you could become a monk. How does that idea grab you?
I'm surprised you think you'll have to work at it. How would that expression go "working into love?" (working in love doesn't strike me as grammatically correct). I always thought the feeling actually was something like falling, where you let yourself go (a little bit like falling from high into a big tub of warm water). Maybe you didn't give yourself up to that feeling and your partners could sense you holding something back. Did you give yourself completely? You said she was the love of your life, but didn't give more details. How can we dissect and analyze this to death of you're not more forthcoming??? | |
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| Could I fall in love again at 56? Do I want to?
Posted: 9/3/2006 1:22:48 PM | | I think it would be a shame to decide never to fall in love again, no matter what age you are at. Once you make that decision I would assume you close yourself off completely to the possibility of it ever happening. Whether it is falling in love, or changing careers, or moviing to a warmer climate I hope to stay open to any and all possibilites as long as I am alive and well. To make any decision about what to allow into your life or to keep out of your life sets limits on life's possibilities. You can never even begin to imagine what your future may bring to you as long as you stay open to all possibilities. | |
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| Could I fall in love again at 56? Do I want to?
Posted: 9/7/2006 9:49:26 PM | claypot i dont know why you always post things that make me think of song lyrics... hers one for you and all the POF"s that are trying till they get it right... Sweet N Louisiana
Tammy Wynette
'Til I Get It Right Lyrics
i'll just keep on fallin in love til i get it right
right now i'm like a wounded bird hungry for the sky
but if i try my wings and try long enough
i'm boung to learn to fly
so i'll just keep on fallin in love til i get it right
my door to love has opened out more times than in
and i'm either fool or wise enough to open it again
cause i'll never know what's beyond the mountain til i reach
the other side
so i'll just keep on fallin in love til i get it right
if practice makes perfect then i'm near bout as perfect as i'll ever
be in my life
so i'll just keep on fallin in love til i get it right | |
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