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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Girl  > She wants to be friends but we still fool around.. Confused      Home login  
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 Hyrowspor
Joined: 8/29/2006
Msg: 1
She wants to be friends but we still fool around.. ConfusedPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
So, I work with this girl and I met her sister at a party a couple weeks ago. We talked a lot of the night and she was very flirty but nothing happens. So I run into the girl who I work with's sister a week later and we end up going out with her sister and a friend of mine. That night, I mention i'm going out of town and she tells me she's going to the same place so we arrange to both take the same bus together.

On the bus, were talking and she tells me that she thinks we should just be friends (especially since her sister likes me and she doesn't want to make her jealous). Not even an hour later, were talking about sex and we end up making out on the bus- nothing more. We arrange to take the bus back as well.

4 days later, we take the same bus back and she tells me the same thing that she just wants to be friends and nothing more. Later on the bus she gives me a BJ, I fingered her then we got back and we slept together. My question is- what does she even mean when she says she just wants to be friends but then we fool around. It could be FWB but it just didn't seem that way at the time. Women play games I tell ya. She's a great girl- maybe a little slutty but still.
 Subotai
Joined: 1/31/2006
Msg: 2
She wants to be friends but we still fool around.. Confused
Posted: 9/4/2006 7:43:30 AM
sorry dude but some of your comments confuse me:

"maybe a little slutty but still".

..how is she slutty? because you and her messed around? If you participate youve lost the "perrogative" of calling the woman "slutty".


Is she thinking: you're a great guy but a little slutty?



As for the games?

Well she has told you want she wanted: to be friends and mess around.

How is that a game?

Shes defined the boundaries and you have participated.

The only way this can be confusing is if you want more from her...but then isnt it you playing the games by having sex and wanting more without saying anything?

Dont mean to sound accusing but Dude it sounds like the confusion is on your part not hers.

If you want a "fwb" relationship: Enjoy!

If not, end it.
 kmhstx
Joined: 8/23/2005
Msg: 3
She wants to be friends but we still fool around.. Confused
Posted: 9/4/2006 7:54:47 AM
LMAO

She's a great girl- maybe a little slutty but still.

It takes 2 to tango, buddy I bet you weren't protesting when she was getting you off. Man I guess that makes you alittle slutty too.

I think she has made it pretty clear, she wants to hang out with you and have sex...nothing more...why are you confused, lol that seems to be what alot of men are looking for now days. I guess I could see why you are confused if she started talking about feelings, and commitment with you, but it doesn't sound like thats the case.
 Hyrowspor
Joined: 8/29/2006
Msg: 4
She wants to be friends but we still fool around.. Confused
Posted: 9/4/2006 7:56:58 AM
I just think she's slutty because any girl who is willing to fool around on a bus FULL of people has to be a little ambitious. She wanted to go into the Bus bathroom to f*ck. I wouldn't do it. I dunno but most girls i've been with haven't been that forward about it. She also never said she wanted to fool around. That's were i'm confused. She told me her sister liked me too much for us to do anything- TWICE and yet we still fooled around.
 Subotai
Joined: 1/31/2006
Msg: 5
She wants to be friends but we still fool around.. Confused
Posted: 9/4/2006 8:01:25 AM
again man...how do you seperate yourself from this definition of slutty?

it wasnt somebody else fingering and getting Bj's ..it was you!

Your self definiton of not being slutty by not having sex in a washroom does not free you from inclusion in that definition.

anyway..doesnt matter...good luck.

 Drew7186
Joined: 8/20/2006
Msg: 6
She wants to be friends but we still fool around.. Confused
Posted: 9/4/2006 8:37:01 AM
Women don't know what they want....The best advice I can give is to just continue with the fooling around, never tell her u have feelings for her, also don't tell her that u even consider her gf material, keep her guessing. Try to make yourself unavailable to her at times, just to give her the gift of missing you. Your goal is to fool around enough to where she actually starts to like you, and to wonder if u like her. When u notice that she starts to act more affectionate towards you ie. kissing without sex, cuddling, laughing at things that u do that aren't really funny, then u know she is interested in going further. Don't let them confuse you, she probably likes you already, but is scared that her & her sister will become enemies b/c of you. So do the above test to see if she is willing to except you as a bf.

P.s. Try this....When she tries to initiate sexual activities(lol), tell her that u guys are just friends, and u shouldn't do anything. when she stops, wait about 20 seconds, and in those 20 seconds pretend to not even be affected by what u just said. Then pounce on her, if she values the whole friendship thing, she will stop you. If she is interested in taking things further, she will react accordingly, b/c ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS. By you doing this, she will know that u are interested in taking things further, without u having to say it. Good luck man.
 lovinlaura
Joined: 8/23/2006
Msg: 7
She wants to be friends but we still fool around.. Confused
Posted: 9/4/2006 8:45:26 AM
look as above it takes 2 to tango!!!!!!!!! thats a bit unfair saying shes slutty! in the heat of the moment we do silly things! as she said she only wants to be friends! true! wot games?? no games there! she told u wot she wanted and didnt want! but hey enjoy it while it lasts that what i say.
 Leeanne
Joined: 10/14/2005
Msg: 8
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She wants to be friends but we still fool around.. Confused
Posted: 9/4/2006 8:50:56 AM
Funny how fast the word 'slut' is tossed around and placed as a label onto a woman that wants to indulge you in your gratification, without a relationship. Hum what does that make you!!
This woman wants to be gratified just as you do - you are equal in this senario - the only difference is she considers you a friend and you were hoping for more. She wants a FB nothing more - so what!!!!
Hopefully she will see this and know you call her a slut - perhaps she will no longer consider you a friend and seek gratification from another FB.
 Hyrowspor
Joined: 8/29/2006
Msg: 9
She wants to be friends but we still fool around.. Confused
Posted: 9/4/2006 9:04:46 AM
I probably should have added a very important part of the situation which now that I think about it might be why she said the whole just wanting to be friends thing. She strictly only said she wanted to be friends and nothing more. She is a beautiful Arab girl who's family is extremely against sex and relationships before marriage. Maybe that's why she said the whole friends thing? Possibly. But I don't see how anyone could find out anyways.
 Drew7186
Joined: 8/20/2006
Msg: 10
She wants to be friends but we still fool around.. Confused
Posted: 9/4/2006 9:14:00 AM
Dude, she probably likes you alot, but cannot go out with you cause her sister will tell the parents!
 Coastergal
Joined: 7/24/2005
Msg: 11
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She wants to be friends but we still fool around.. Confused
Posted: 9/4/2006 9:17:03 AM
So basically.... she wants to mess around with you..................but she doesn't want her sister to know!

She's a class act!
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 12
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She wants to be friends but we still fool around.. Confused
Posted: 9/4/2006 9:31:33 AM
"Women play games I tell ya. She's a great girl- maybe a little slutty but still."
Too funny, ahem....unless she forced herself on you, you participated in the sex on the bus yourself. Yet it's only tacky because it's what she wanted? You ARE confused, you are just as slutty as she is. I suggest you start thinking with the bigger head, you don't seem to think too well with the little one.
 LaughsAlot43
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 13
She wants to be friends but we still fool around.. Confused
Posted: 9/4/2006 9:48:17 AM
Um, she is willing to hurt her sister.

See a problem with that?

What is your question? Is she relationship material? Nope. But not because of the sexual stuff...because of the lack of character...and the obvious cultural barriers to anything more.

Find someone who can give you a great blow job AND an open, loving relationship. :-)
 lookin4u21972
Joined: 4/29/2006
Msg: 14
She wants to be friends but we still fool around.. Confused
Posted: 9/4/2006 2:53:20 PM
Well it seems she's not looking for anything serious. If you are , move on. The girl wants her cake and eat it to. Yeh some girls are confusing and play games. Her sister is just an excuse, After sleeping together, it would be morally wrong to go out with the sister you work with at least if she was unaware of your fling with sis.
 Hyrowspor
Joined: 8/29/2006
Msg: 15
She wants to be friends but we still fool around.. Confused
Posted: 9/4/2006 3:13:04 PM
Yeah.. I feel bad being around her sister(the one I work with) because I know she likes me and she's a great girl too- attractive and all- she's just not my type- too shy. A lot of people seem to think that i'm the one being the slut/playing the games but she said only friends. I even joked around about sleeping with her before it happened after she said the friends only thing and she reiterated it. Friggen girl. I don't care.. what happened happened. She wants to hang out again but I might just cut my losses (although I didn't lose anything) and stay away especially since things at work could get awkward.
 Jon_Duan06
Joined: 6/23/2006
Msg: 16
She wants to be friends but we still fool around.. Confused
Posted: 9/4/2006 3:55:39 PM
I'd like to know of a bus where I could get a blowjob without anybody seeing and calling authorities for indecent exposure

and you were afraid to fuck the girl in the washroom, but you were all fine with a blowjob out in the open


I smell a lie
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 17
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She wants to be friends but we still fool around.. Confused
Posted: 9/4/2006 4:58:55 PM
Brings new meaning to the ad slogan...Go Greyhound...haha!! And leave the driving to us, maybe should be and get a BJ....
 treebee
Joined: 8/26/2006
Msg: 18
She wants to be friends but we still fool around.. Confused
Posted: 9/4/2006 6:12:53 PM
We could have done without the exact details...some girls just want action..she is no more a slut than you my friend...except worse, she is not into you and you keep going back for more. Feeling used?? Some girls just have "special" friends. Welcome to the present.
 Singaporsuccubus
Joined: 7/31/2006
Msg: 19
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She wants to be friends but we still fool around.. Confused
Posted: 9/4/2006 6:49:30 PM
Cheers to you Treebee and Subotai.

Dude, forget the advice. I'm sensing, that this 20 year old just wanted to brag.

Ambition does not = Slutty. If, in your universe, it does, what does that make you? You saw a canyon of an opportunity and you took it and want to keep taking it. Does that make you a slut? or a vulture? So, Hyrowspor, which one of these guys are you? Because, apparently, people live in buckets with labels on them, want to get it right, don't we?

 Coastergal
Joined: 7/24/2005
Msg: 20
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She wants to be friends but we still fool around.. Confused
Posted: 9/4/2006 6:56:45 PM
It will probably end up awkward already.............with the gal from work....

Hmmm maybe her sister does this a lot.... gets aggressive with guys her sister likes..... because she knows that she won't....

I could NEVER do that to any of my sisters..........................

I don't think the gal is a slut...........but she is lacking in class (oops I already said that!!!)
 ButtercupBubbleBum
Joined: 7/25/2006
Msg: 21
She wants to be friends but we still fool around.. Confused
Posted: 9/4/2006 7:56:17 PM

I just think she's slutty because any girl who is willing to fool around on a bus FULL of people has to be a little ambitious.


... and didn't you participate in this? what does that make you?

anyways, I would call that a booty call, lots of people have those lol
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 22
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She wants to be friends but we still fool around.. Confused
Posted: 9/4/2006 8:03:20 PM
C'mon he got a BJ on a bus!! And had sex with her after that, who knows how often...way too much info already. After all that, he says SHE was slutty.
What about him? Really, who isn't waking up and smelling the coffee on this one? Geez!
Thanks for the headsup, if I DO ride a bus, I'll be sure to bring a garbage bag to drape over the seat, and have a new box of handiwipes...UGH!!
 mtnlvr
Joined: 8/6/2006
Msg: 23
She wants to be friends but we still fool around.. Confused
Posted: 9/6/2006 11:52:06 AM
LOL...hmm, double standard hyrospor?? You were an active participant so unless you unwillingly had sex with her, you're just as guilty as she was for taking things too far. Sorry dude, if you took her comments seriously, none of this stuff would have happened. You could have easily stopped things from getting out of hand.
 Carol27
Joined: 1/25/2005
Msg: 24
She wants to be friends but we still fool around.. Confused
Posted: 9/6/2006 12:58:42 PM
I smell a Troll.....

Some guy just outta highschool basically that has never been laid before and wants some attention....maybe??????
 matt90
Joined: 8/6/2006
Msg: 25
She wants to be friends but we still fool around.. Confused
Posted: 9/6/2006 3:09:00 PM
You can have female friends that you still fool around with. I got friends that I fool around with, but I am a single guy.
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