| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/5/2006 1:40:33 PM | I was thinking about this.. from my end and from the end of women and other men around here...
Are we way too picky when it comes to who we choose? who we decide to date and not to date?
Also when it comes to POF.. are we all a little too choosy and picky when it comes to who we respond to or write to??
I used to be a long time ago back in my earlier years very picky on who I was interested in and who I found to be attractive or worth my time...
And lately I have eased off quite a bit in that area... seems like the older I get the less my standards have become....
what is your two cents on this? | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/5/2006 1:55:10 PM | | Honestly I dont think its that we are too picky.. I think its just hard to find the one we want to settle in on. Lets face it this forum and many others like it dont really give you the information you need to truly decide if someone is right for you.. So we keep searching hoping the next one who sends us a wink will offer us more than the one before ... and so on. Dont worry about being picky.. you have to decide on a few key issues to narrow it down. For me .. he has to be single.... local.....younger that 55, same ethenicity, and not ask me about sex in the first conversation. Once he gets past those issues we can move on to the next issues...I am sure he has his own hit list that I have to pass... Its the way this form of dating is meant to be... sure beats going to a bar where chances are he's already acting like a jerk... even if he's not. | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/5/2006 2:02:10 PM | Um, I think we might all be guilty of being too picky. It might be a side effect of the animal shelter-format (or car lot, if you prefer) of the dating site. You know, as in "Sure this one looks great, but, OH! Look at that one! Wow, how about that little one down there?"
And there's always more to compare. | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/5/2006 2:18:11 PM | | I'm picky, and have been single way longer than necessary because of it... but I won't change that... no sense wasting time on something that won't last... I'm holding out for someone who wows me | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/5/2006 2:30:04 PM | I think we all want someone that "wows" us and we all have characteristics, physical and otherwise, that attract us.
Sometimes, however, I think it's a good thing to think outside the box somewhat - afterall we are all still looking for someone. Maybe our past choices/preferences weren't what we really needed.
Remember the line from the song "You can't always get what you what, but sometimes you get what you need!"
Happy Fishing
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/5/2006 2:32:55 PM | | I think it's okay to be "picky" ... I'm not going to settle. I'd rather be alone than in a relationship that doesn't make my socks roll up and down. | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/5/2006 2:52:54 PM | | I agree with cotter... Been there done that in a bad marriage. Im not really sure that at this stage of my life there really is "the one" but the is so much fun. | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/5/2006 3:31:08 PM | "I was thinking about this.. from my end and from the end of women and other men around here..."
OP man, that's alot of thinking about people's ends! (Pardon me .. couldn't resist)!
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About being picky though, I find myself getting ever more so, valuing the freedom and just plain joy of life found in being on my own. It will take one very altogether amazing person to cause me to even consider including them in that completely. Enjoying the presence of an intelligent, lovely, charming, sensual woman is certainly a wonder of our male existence, participating in train-wreck dates however do nothing for me, or her.
That's "picky" not as a matter of seeking perfection, (perfection a dream world anyway), but rather being willing to wait for the right combination. It's worth it to me to give a chance to a date to happen. Early on, you know ... people get nervous, defensive, flatulent, etc., so it's only human - cut them some slack. I sure need some cut to me sometimes, (spinach in the teeth, hayfever, ... flatulent?! ... me - never). Once there are too many serious red flags though, (read "baggage"), I get real picky.
Maybe your standards are there to help assure your long term happiness, careful the babe doesn't go out with the bathwater! | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/5/2006 3:39:35 PM | I dont know if it is "picky" but am I the only one that thinks dating is awful? I really and truely don't like to just "date" for the sake of being "out" somewhere.
I'm with the girl that wants her socks to roll up and down, only I sort of want to feel that before I go on the date. That is the only thing about the "online" thing. It's almost impossible to tell if that could happen without doing the "date" thing. Shame you cant tell that from email huh?
Then too...it has been about 14 years since I was in the dating world......and boy has dating changed. | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/5/2006 5:19:06 PM | I honestly feel none of us has a choice of what attracts us to someone else.
one's trash, is another's treasure!
my gawd, I'd want her to be just as picky about me! Imagine the magic, when those to worlds collide! | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/5/2006 5:34:25 PM | Exactly Sam. Picky could be a good thing....
Way to go on the cam sock rolling!  | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/5/2006 5:56:40 PM | OI!!!!
original poster....try getting off your high horse and come talk to the lowlies in the world, we are all unique individuals and this "lowering your standards' bs is really showing your true colors........like what makes you some HOT NUMMMBBAAA
ok i'm not one for snobs......and that dude seems like one....... | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/5/2006 6:08:05 PM | I kind of got a chuckle out of "I used to be a long time ago back in my earlier years very picky..." With my 48 years, compared to your 28, that struck me as funny. But I know what you're saying.
The opposite is happening with me. I get "pickier" as time goes by, because I am clearer as to what I want/don't want from a relationship. The older I get, the higher my standards have become.
As to POF, I have a wide range as to people with whom I have contact. People are interesting! As a hetereosexual woman, I even correspond with women--I have lots to learn from other single women out there.
Um, I have to agree with another poster that it may be a bit insulting to women you contact on POF that you are "lowering your standards" with them. I see your favourites list dropping by the second...there goes another one...I'm sure this isn't what you meant, but it does come across this way.
That's my 2 cents. | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/5/2006 6:13:51 PM | Well think of it this way. How would it feel if you found out the person you're seeing decided to lower their standards and quit being so picky, so they're dating you? Talk about pulling out the rug.....GEEZ! Don't think that'd make ME feel special!!  | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/5/2006 6:24:30 PM | | You damn right I'm picky! Why should I settle for less than I deserve? Or for that matter, why should anyone settle for less than they deserve? I'm not going to lower my standards for anyone. | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/5/2006 6:29:27 PM | Picky is a word with negative connotations. I prefer the word "selective."
There is nothing wrong with screening people to see if they are appropriate for you to go out with. | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/5/2006 6:44:14 PM | so would "picky" be ......
having your head spun....the good way for a change?
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/5/2006 6:44:17 PM | Hi NonChalant,
Are we way too picky when it comes to who we choose? who we decide to date and not to date?
Obviously yes for most of us. If we weren't, we probably wouldn't be here right now.
My $0.02. | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/5/2006 7:13:24 PM | You know.... I'm all for wising up when it comes to the sociopaths, the disordered, the cons, and the just plain toxic type people. You bet we need to be picky when it comes to them.
Beyond that? I would have to aggree, that we probably have become way to "picky'. Its an inevitable result of our pop culture, including things like these personals sites. these personals are like the giant Sam's clubs.... where you go into a 5 acre bldg. and shopt for any thing under the sun you need! The choices are endless. And with the bombardment of other pop culture images.... romantic movies, mtv, sitcoms, Porn, advertising...and on and on.... its no wonder we have become very mixed up about what we think we want... or must have.
I'm as guilty as anybody here about perhaps being too picky. I have come to believe that I want (must have) the whole enchalada! Just can't be any little glitches or holes in there. And... at my age.... that is probably even more foolish than the younger set! who knows.
Its nice to be up on a High Horse.... but, its a long way to fall.... and, I have a feeling it gets pretty lonely up there too. ????? | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/5/2006 7:52:04 PM | | i don't think it's about being picky. i think it's about finding what works for you | |
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| Are we all too picky?
Posted: 9/5/2006 8:04:01 PM | | Maybe it's just verbage but it's fine to expand your parameters a bit. NOt lowering your standards, that always has a negative connotation. | |
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