| Seeking Dads with Daughters!
Posted: 9/7/2006 7:44:52 AM | LOL how whacked is this? And how indicative of the unrealistic expectations we can develop in online dating, or dating later in life (or just from being silly)? And worst of all, it's about ME!
I sometimes mull over the "what-if's" of life after divorce and find myself thinking: In a perfect world, I'd like to meet a man who as well as being "perfect" for me, has sole custody of a young daughter. Why? Because I always hoped to have a daughter and will likely never have one of my own, so if I got a readymade daughter in the partnering deal, how convenient would that be? Oh and young, so I can bring her up myself...
Like you can place an order for The Perfect Life (TM) and have it delivered in 4-6 weeks (along with those bonus Ginsu Knives). Yeesh!
Now is this normal pie-in-the-sky fantasizing, or is it just weird? I think it's a bit of both, and definitely silly because for pete's sake, how can one know where love will find you? "Oh sorry, I can't date you, you don't fill this bizarre criteria..."?? So it's not like I'm unaware of my own foolishness -- and yet there it is, lurking in the back of my mind... It's something to do with those matching Mother-Daughter ensembles in the Chadwick's catalog: I know they're weird but I like 'em anyway! Eek, shades of Mini-Me!
So an open statement of just one of my particular flavors of madness, for yall to consider... (lol, nothing like some balls-out honesty for scaring off the prospects, eh?) Am I really the only one who indulges in such flights of foolishness? Or do others have similarly mental Wish Lists?  | |
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| Seeking Dads with Daughters!
Posted: 9/7/2006 9:14:26 AM | | I would not reply to an ad like this for one simple reason. I am protective of my daughter. Too many whackos out there than to date someone who wants me for her. I'd also have to question any motives. I have one rule with people I date... Stay the hell away from my kids. | |
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| Seeking Dads with Daughters!
Posted: 9/7/2006 9:21:22 AM | | Well, I think everyone has a fantasy of what they would like and preference of a partner, right down to what kind of car they will drive and the clothes that they wear. Nothing wrong with that, as long as you realize it may never happen and don't close the door on anything but. | |
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| Seeking Dads with Daughters!
Posted: 9/7/2006 9:42:04 AM | Not a dad - but if it were reversed - I would wonder greatly why some one would seek out a woman with a specific gender child.
If you want to be a role model for a girl - why not become a big sister in your area?? | |
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| Seeking Dads with Daughters!
Posted: 9/7/2006 10:46:43 AM | | ^^^ooooooh good idea! They are in need desperately, I had a big sister growing up and very thankful of it, I still to this day have a relationship with her, she's like my second mom. | |
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| Seeking Dads with Daughters!
Posted: 9/8/2006 2:31:16 AM | .....all your going to get with that request is a man looking for a mom......sounds like that is what you want though
If I read a profile requesting interest in my kids I would wave goodbye to that red flag | |
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| Seeking Dads with Daughters!
Posted: 9/8/2006 8:24:14 AM | | Well i do not think there is a single parent out there that does not wish they could preorder the "perfect life", but heck life is what you make of it....be happy with the kids you have. If it is ment to be it is ment to be that you have a girl. and well like cocodelite said if it really means that much then become a big sister. there are lots of young girls out there that need a good role model. | |
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| Seeking Dads with Daughters!
Posted: 9/8/2006 9:07:56 AM | I hafta agree with you Dads who said that this sorta thinking would give you the willies if it were really an actual criteria that someone used in selecting a partner, if someone couldn't separate their fantasies and pie-in-the-sky dreams for simple Reality. If someone wanted me "just" for my sons, I'd think that was weird too. It's one thing to love what you have (which gee-golly do I ever! My guys are THE BEST!) or to appreciate what life has given you (that is, if your "secret wish" just happened to happen, then sure that'd be nice), but it's quite another to "stalk" your fantasies (ewww!)
Funny tho, how little fantasy meets reality, huh? The reality is that the Perfect World is, or at least could be, the one we are already in, if we would just accept that.
As for me having a daughter, at just-shy-of 46 and slogging thru a divorce, it ain't happening for me. I miscarried my daughter back in 2000 and so I got (most of) my midlife crisis outta the way then: that was such a hard thing to accept. And what with my life as PACKED as it is already, I haven't the time to give to a Big Sis program -- tho that's a very thoughtful and valid option: I've thought of maybe not that but getting more involved with Girl Scouting (I'm a big Scouting Booster, fascist homophobic policies on the male side aside) when my guys empty the nest.
Thanks all, for your thoughtful feedback: I enjoy challenging myself (and others) to open, to look at, and maybe even to accept the odder sides of one's self. We all have these funky "weird-isms" of one sort or another -- you know, those things where you say "if anyone knew I thought this/liked this/did this, they'd never like/understand/love me" -- and it's interesting to see how deeply people can react, how we learn about ourselves and others through looking at the bugs under the rocks so to speak. It's kinda cathartic to reveal one's self and find understanding, decent feedback (even if it's "yikes!"). | |
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