| Should a Person Simply Give Up Trying To Date? If So, When?
Posted: 9/7/2006 8:12:31 PM | This is not a "poor me", "why don't they reply" thread. I don't want this to go down the wrong road and get deleted. Which is what happened to the last one.
This isn't about me per se. Honest.
Say no one you are interested in in your area replies to you. No matter what you say. Should you just forget all about it? Immerse yourself in other things? Move away. What? Are there certain people for whom it is simply not in the cards. They aren't attractive, interesting, successful enough? They cannot find a mutual attraction.
Offline it's pretty much the same deal.
So, are there certain people who should just forget about it? | |
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| Should a Person Simply Give Up Trying To Date? If So, When?
Posted: 9/7/2006 8:22:16 PM | i have the nastiest luck dating........ but yet i dont give up why...... i have no idea.... if there is an a** hole he finds me......... if there is someone that just wants sex they find me and seem to stick around for months and twice yrs......... before i learned why they seemed to like being around me........... but still i try  | |
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| Should a Person Simply Give Up Trying To Date? If So, When?
Posted: 9/7/2006 8:23:55 PM | | I do not think that anybody can answer that for you. Only you can decide if this way of looking for friends or for a relationship works, and how long and hard you are willing to try before giving up. There are many other ways to find people with your same interests. | |
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| Should a Person Simply Give Up Trying To Date? If So, When?
Posted: 9/7/2006 8:32:28 PM | | My first impulse is to suggest trying something new, escaping the rut of established expectations. But that never worked for me. No, the sad fact is that for some of us dating is a doomed enterprise. Women want something we are not, and no amount of effort will change the outcome. It is best to accept this and settle into a life alone. Not all men find mates, and so it follows someone has to be the loners. | |
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| Should a Person Simply Give Up Trying To Date? If So, When?
Posted: 9/7/2006 8:35:54 PM | Well, i have my share of disappointment in the men & dating area... i tried so many times & I have failed to meet the one that wont disappoint me or hurt me & when I did finally met the one I want to spend time with that all fails too.... Now I am just taking a break from it all ---- I have focus on something else other than men & dating.... I am working long days & hours at work,,,,, been doing 11 days straight constantly.... starting Last wednesday till this Saturday coming up so my next day off would be this Sunday ... so i dont have time to worry about anything else - despite I miss someone (you know who u are) but I have to think that its impossible that it would happen bec life has change 2 days ago & there is no way to turn back time..... well All i have to say to u... is dont give up in meeting someone that u are looking for bec it would come when u least expected ... it did for me but... its the wrong place, the wrong time & wrong circumstance.... but I have to live with that fact & take things day by day not to be worried about it bec I have been getting anxiety attacks & its not helping me much to get over HIM even quicker..... Put your head up & you would be just fine trust me u would be like what i did.... | |
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| Should a Person Simply Give Up Trying To Date? If So, When?
Posted: 9/7/2006 8:52:57 PM | I DON'T THINK SO, WHO KNOWS WHO IS AROUND THE CORNER. THAT NEXT DATE MIGHT BE THE RIGHT ONE.
I HAVE BEEN A WIDOW FOR 7 YEARS AND I CAN'T SEEM TO START DATING.I DON'T THINK IT IS MY LOOKS OR MY PERSONALITY, BUT SOMETHING IS THERE, BUT I AM NOT GOING TO STOP HOPEING I WILL MEET SOME ONE NEW AND THAT WE CLICK.  | |
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| Should a Person Simply Give Up Trying To Date? If So, When?
Posted: 9/7/2006 9:24:03 PM | | Life is full of ups and downs. Look at the gas prices! A couple of years ago I left a woman that would do anything for me. I hooked up with a woman that I fell deeeeply in love with. I would have done anything for her. Unfortunately, that didn't work out either. I can't understand what went wrong or why she needed to go elsewhere. The point is this, Winston Churchhill said it best in World War 2, "Success is not final, failure is not fatal, it is the courage to keep trying that counts". Keep trying! I will. There maybe someone in your past that thought that you and her could go further, or maybe you really haven't found each other yet. But if you give up now, you'll never know. And that will eat at you worse than all of the failed relationships and time spent alone ever will. | |
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| Should a Person Simply Give Up Trying To Date? If So, When?
Posted: 9/7/2006 9:27:58 PM | So what exactly do you do when you give up even the hope of dating?
Become a monk?
Fill your house with cats?
Spend every night at the local dive bar swilling cheap draft and watching sports?
Dedicate the rest of your life to StarTrek and World of Warcraft?
Hookers?
Seriously..I want to know what the alternative to even hoping to date is. | |
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| Should a Person Simply Give Up Trying To Date? If So, When?
Posted: 9/7/2006 9:34:56 PM | | There is more to do in life than dating. In fact, there is an endless supply of other things to do. The trouble is for most of them they are less enjoyable alone. But it's just another adjustment, and people are very adaptable. I have begun to dislike the idea of dating, because who would I date anyway of women who don't like me? It sort of takes care of itself that way. Nature may have set the plan in motion but I can walk away from it now that there is no longer any point. Dating is the dreary process of meeting women to learn what they want instead if you. No fun, no thanks. But you guys have fun and good luck with that. | |
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| Should a Person Simply Give Up Trying To Date? If So, When?
Posted: 9/7/2006 9:38:10 PM | NEVER,NEVER, give up what you are !! The things you do, the way you think, is what and who you are.
Of course, one must take every opportunity to broaden their horizons, experience more in life, for when we do we meet some fantastic people and who knows, one of them may be "her"!
Moving to a different town, finding a different job, should be part of changes you make for yourself; for you're the one that has to live with the results of such decisions.
I think one of the reasons these sites seem so dismal is the number of people exposed to us whereas in real life meeting 2-3 new people a week is normal depending on where we work etc.... | |
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| Should a Person Simply Give Up Trying To Date? If So, When?
Posted: 9/7/2006 10:17:14 PM | I'm one of those "after a certain point, give up on dating" people. I am not a good dater at all. I get frustrated by the games, I get frustrated by the inabilities of some people to step up and be honest. For me, I work more. I become a workaholic and forget that there is life outside of the office, or my friends. My friends learned a long time ago not to try and set me up with anyone because it won't work.
Now, I try to take invitations with a grain of salt, and not have any expectations. I have a soft heart so when it gets stepped on, it stays bruised for a while. | |
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| Should a Person Simply Give Up Trying To Date? If So, When?
Posted: 9/7/2006 10:20:19 PM | Short answer - no!
So what's the quickest way not to even have a chance at winning a lottery (extreme example) - ya don't buy a ticket.
So you want to give up? same result right? You're in control of your own obstacles, if you want to put up roadblocks, expect them to work. It takes unwaivering optimism and perseverence and patience, nothing more, nothing less. Sometimes it just comes out of the blue unexpectedly. No great epiphany here, just encouragement, and sometimes they're just not in your backyard as I learned ;)
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| Should a Person Simply Give Up Trying To Date? If So, When?
Posted: 9/7/2006 11:04:32 PM | I believe that most people who are trying to find "mr. right; or miss right" wil simply feel like giving up! I do believe that there are a lot of quality single people out there; men and women; but staying single is a growing culture. In my opinion it has to do with the "culture." We are more immersed and effected by the media (internet; tv; ads etc) than ever before. Constantly it sends messages that women that are 90lbs with big boobs are the quality people. Men are looking for 9's and 10's and ending up dissappointed. Women are looking for Abercrome Men with thick wallets. But what is missed is that beauty is only skin deep! I could be wrong but this is what I believe is my own weakness (why i am single), and those of many other men!
Kobin | |
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tie
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Joined: 7/4/2006
Msg: 19 | |
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| Should a Person Simply Give Up Trying To Date? If So, When?
Posted: 9/8/2006 5:29:52 PM | I'm going to change my pics at some point. I'm not totally happy with them.
I guess I was just being moody. I'm not giving up.
I sent 12 emails in one day. Not one responses. But such is life. I'm not whining anymore. | |
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| Should a Person Simply Give Up Trying To Date? If So, When?
Posted: 9/8/2006 5:38:48 PM | | Well yes and no...and I'm not being indecisive. Yes, maybe to dating as in following the social custom of being a "date". Sometimes the word itself is limiting. No in don't stop trying to meet people, and spend time with them, doesn't have to be a date. | |
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| Should a Person Simply Give Up Trying To Date? If So, When?
Posted: 9/8/2006 6:27:39 PM | Exactly, Bucs!! Take the pressure off and look for friends... don't have the intention of anything else, afterall, that is where one has to start a relationship of any kind!!
I went in with "Dating" in mind... I got very disheartened after about 8 months. I gave it up for a bit (couldn't give up the forums though)... then took the expectations out of the picture. I'm much happier now
This place CAN work... can't it Bucs!!
~ S | |
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| Should a Person Simply Give Up Trying To Date? If So, When?
Posted: 9/8/2006 6:57:29 PM |
Fill your house with cats?
Heh, I had 5.. down to 3 now. But I can honestly joke how I have more pu**y in bed with me on any given night than any guy I know. 
But, On Topic, I've never really "given up". I've taken time in between relationships to deal with myself, but I still have hope that someday I'll meet the "right" one. Giving up is a sure-fire way to be alone forever, and I don't *plan* on that, although who knows, that may be the eventual outcome... but not gonna stop hoping. | |
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Shotsa
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Joined: 5/19/2006
Msg: 25 | |
| Should a Person Simply Give Up Trying To Date? If So, When?
Posted: 9/8/2006 6:58:14 PM | Dating can be very frustrating, especially when one is utilizing an avenue that is overrun with people saying they want to meet a good person and that they aren't trying to play headgames but in the end are too picky or too superficial or too arrogant to give good people a chance. This happens to everyone, don't feel alone. A Lot of the time, I think people are just as frustrated and so therefore don't reply to emails. I don't know what form yours take but I get several emails a day and I don't NOT reply because of their picture 50% of the time - usually the messages aren't stimulating. Not that i'm saying yours AREN'T, but try changing your approach?
I don't know, frankly I'm getting sick of the people on this site - they're bad everywhere, trust me, haha. I'm almost tempted to try looking for love in pubs again - at least I have alcohol in me then ;)
Good Luck!
Shotsa | |
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