| Could he be interested and my blunt comment.
Posted: 9/9/2006 9:28:20 AM | So I'm still in that whole dating people and trying to find someone situation that we are all in. I have recently been thinking about a friend of mine. I met him about 4 years ago through a mutual friend of ours. It turns out they had recorded some cd's together. Soo ..I thought he was great when I met him and we exchanged emails and phone numbers but didn't really stay in touch.
I ran into him a year later at a KISS convention where he was working with his management company. He ran over and gave me a huge hug and kiss and we talked and laughed and smiled most of the day. My friend (who actually saw him first LOL) said she thought he liked me. I didnt' read too much into it.
Another year goes past and we run into each other at a club near my house. I didnt' expect him to be there and when he walked past me I tapped him on the shoulder. He turned - looked at me and then kissed me on the lips ....before moving on. He was working with the band so I thought it was weird but didnt' say anything.
So about 2 months ago we were talking in an IM and somehow he ends up inviting me over to his house to share a bottle of wine. So I drive the half hour to his place and we end up having a huge blast. We're sharing the wine, listening to his new music. We have always been a bit touchy feely and eventually we are laughing and wrestling. Eventually he pins me to the ground with his head on my stomach as we are gasping for breath and I hear him say "this is bad ..I need to move before I do something bad"
Well we get up and for an hour or so we watch tv and curl up. As it gets late ...i go to leave and he pulls me close. He tells me that he's very private and then after a pause he kisses me.
Well eventually I end up spending the night.
Next morning we are both late for work ..frantic ..say goodbye and he calls that evening and asks me if we are okay. He asks me if I have any regrets. I say that I don't and ask him and he says ..No not at all.
So that was two months ago ..he got busy but we still talk like we used to. I keep thinking about him and want to see if he's interested.
Sooo ..I ended up just telling him bluntly that I wanted to kiss him again to remember how great it was.
So ..I guess my question would be a guy translation of his actions ..does he like me or was it just a spur of the moment thing? And how do you think you would react if a girl told you bluntly that she wanted to kiss you again? Would it be a turn off or would it be something that you might think was cool? | |
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| Could he be interested and my blunt comment.
Posted: 9/9/2006 10:00:51 AM | Does he like you?
Let's see. He kissed you, made love to you, laughed with you, spent time with you, had fun with you. Nope, it's pretty obvious he can't stand you.
If a girl told me she wanted to kiss me again, I would wonder why she didn't just kiss me again. Why tell me? If I let her kiss me once it should be clear she is welcome to kiss me thereafter.
You already went around the track and you're acting like you're still in the gate. | |
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| Could he be interested and my blunt comment.
Posted: 9/9/2006 10:13:52 AM | LOL ...good point.
Let me clarify that it has been 2 months since this happened. He's extremely busy in general with his full time job, his full time music career and his son. I'm also a fairly busy person. I guess after 2 months I started to wonder if he was even thinking the way I was or not...I understand busy but I usually try to see if we are at least thinking of getting back together or not. I then started to wonder if perhaps he didn't realize that I did have feelings for him ..and that I'm not some crazy stalker person. I'm fairly independent so I thought perhaps he figured I wasn't into him .the same way I worried he might not be into me.
Hence the blunt telling him that I wanted to kiss him again. ...I would just flat out kiss him again but he's not near enough for me to kiss and we have to plan to actually find the time to see each other. Otherwise ..trust me .would have just kissed him. | |
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| Could he be interested and my blunt comment.
Posted: 9/9/2006 1:39:04 PM | "Tell him you want to kiss him. He will appreciate it. I know I would."
God women don't do that! I did that with a fabulous man I met recently and have not heard from him since. I thought my email was flirting and sweet, saying I was interested in him and loved kissing him and the night together, but I am beginning to think in fact I was a one-night deal and now that I have expressed my interest, I feel more like a fool and really stupid for putting myself out there. I still feel like an idiot for having been played so badly, and that apparently I am so horrible a judge of character. It's never happened to me before, and now I know how awful it feels. Be careful when you put your feelings out there, however small - it hurts when the only response is silence. | |
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| Could he be interested and my blunt comment.
Posted: 9/9/2006 2:36:44 PM | | I'm not sure what his problem is, but your comment isn't the cause... I know I'd be flattered, but then again, it wouldn't take 2 months before you heard from me.... | |
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| Could he be interested and my blunt comment.
Posted: 9/9/2006 2:42:52 PM | well exactly as the girl said ....its more of a paranoia that saying "Hey I want to kiss you again!" is a bit too much ..I worry that perhaps he might take that as too forward as opposed to being flattered.
As for the two months ...we do talk and have talked during the two months. He called me about once a week or so for a few weeks after that ..and we still chat in the occasional emails. He just got really busy with his job and the whole music thing.
Basically, I'm very cool with his life and his priorities ....my biggest wonder is if he's interested or not. I guess from all signs he is but I start to wonder if he's just not saying anything because he expects me to start demanding his time which is already spread really thin at the moment. I'm not going to do that .... I just want to know if there is any hope at all. | |
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| Could he be interested and my blunt comment.
Posted: 9/9/2006 4:00:45 PM | At the very least he'll probably at least want to have sex with you. He's a guy after all.
I'd love for a woman to ask for a kiss, if she isn't Barfzilla. I'm weird though. | |
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| Could he be interested and my blunt comment.
Posted: 9/9/2006 4:08:51 PM | I've thought about this for awhile and at first I was thinking he might be thinking it was bad because he didn't want to go down on you right away. Then I thought that he might be worried about loosing a friendship over sex. Now I have to wonder if he new you liked him and he also wanted to get together but "something bad" may refer to he wanted the sex but it was bad because he wasn't going to take it further. Think - "are we ok?" and poof he's so busy. I might be the pesamist here but If he was interested, he would tell you and find the time. He only lives 30 minutes away.
As far as the kiss all guys would like that. Ego's you know. | |
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| Could he be interested and my blunt comment.
Posted: 9/9/2006 6:04:27 PM | I get the impression he considers you a friendship with benefits.
It's an old trick, in my opinion, to pin a woman down and then claim to be worried about becoming frisky. I think his ploy was to get you to initiate and continue with the playfulness.... that way, he can place the blame on you for conceding if you were to get angry or feel hurt. | |
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| Could he be interested and my blunt comment.
Posted: 9/9/2006 7:20:00 PM | | It sounded like he liked you. The things he said that night "this is bad" were his ways of trying to get you to either say "yes, it is", or "no, it isn't". It sounds like he wasn't sure if you were interested, and left hints for you to assure him that you felt the same way. When he called the next day, it is possible that he wanted you to say "I had a great time last night, let's do it again!" but I take it you didn't. Now, two months later... who knows. Things change. I guess you'll find out. | |
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| Could he be interested and my blunt comment.
Posted: 9/9/2006 7:36:47 PM | Forget what I said earlier.
That was my evil twin who became, briefly, one of those women even I can't stand. It won't happen again (overthinking and being stupid). I am happy and secure again in myself.
I hope this man responds to you and you both get together, because it does sound like you have something. Who am I to give advice? Do what is in your heart. | |
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| Could he be interested and my blunt comment.
Posted: 9/9/2006 8:15:00 PM | LOL Lyrical ....I liked your first and your second comment ..
Essentially it's easy to end up paranoid at times no matter how secure you actually are. We all have our moments.
Your first comment pretty much said exactly how I felt at the time ....and well the second kinda matches how I feel too.
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| Could he be interested and my blunt comment.
Posted: 9/9/2006 8:31:14 PM | | CDNOKIE, its like this you have almosted talked yourself into its over, why are you on here asking people that was not there , if you are interested like you said you was , than girl turn that dang computer off and go find him , ask him he is the only one that can answer your question , now go do it ,or this will haunt you for a long long time , sorry if i sound to rough, but i just dont want you to lose something that might be a good thing for you , and even its not a good thing at least you will know good luck | |
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| Could he be interested and my blunt comment.
Posted: 9/9/2006 9:13:55 PM | well thanks Shag for the advice ..
I did find him ..or rather tell him that I had put some thought into things and that I keep getting back to the same idea ...that I wanted to kiss him again to remember how great it was.
He applauded me for being very brave, and straightforward and said that we should talk about it further after the weekend .....
So we'll see.
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| Could he be interested and my blunt comment.
Posted: 9/9/2006 10:56:20 PM | He tells me that he's very private
Read that carefully, hes telling you hes a private person, which could very well mean keep what happened between the two of you.
It could also mean, he is not serious, and wants to keep his options open for what else might come along.
If you go "public", then he will have to answer questions, he doesn't want to answer, or admit to things he doesn't want to admit to.
Go with what you feel inside, and trust your instincts.. | |
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| Could he be interested and my blunt comment.
Posted: 6/16/2007 5:04:42 PM | | It seems he may very well be interested. At the same time though he may be worried that he's overstepped the mark. Its the highwire most guys have to tread. If you want to go on then tell him straight out. Takes all that uncertainty out of the air. | |
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| Could he be interested and my blunt comment.
Posted: 6/17/2007 7:49:20 AM |
Eventually he pins me to the ground with his head on my stomach as we are gasping for breath and I hear him say "this is bad ..I need to move before I do something bad" He fancies you rotten. But he's not sure about entering into a relationship with you. I suspect that he thinks that if it would've happened, it would've happened when you first met. At this point, he thought it might end up as an FWB. He would have kissed you right away if he just wanted that from you.
Well we get up and for an hour or so we watch tv and curl up. As it gets late ...i go to leave and he pulls me close. He tells me that he's very private and then after a pause he kisses me. He's very private = he doesn't have sex with just anyone, unless it is someone that no-one knows or someone he wants to go public with as a girlfriend. But he doesn't want to let you go. So he's teetering on the edge of asking you out on a date. But he's in the "friend" zone. Plus, he's got a kid and his music. So he doesn't have a lot of time to share. So he's very unsure if this might blow up in your face.
say goodbye and he calls that evening and asks me if we are okay. He asks me if I have any regrets. I say that I don't and ask him and he says ..No not at all. He knew he wouldn't see you for a while and he's concerned that he might have raised your expectations too high.
He applauded me for being very brave, and straightforward and said that we should talk about it further after the weekend ..... He likes it. He wants to talk about it. But the fact that he said that 'he wants to talk about it further', sounds like he wants to have an going chat about this, and how you feel each other. So he doesn't want to close the door on it.
I get the general impression that he cares about you as a friend, and is more concerned about your own welfare than his own libido. But he knows relationships can be very tricky, particularly with a friend, so he's playing it very cautious. He just doesn't want to blow it, by saying the wrong thing, or giving you the wrong message.
I say throw caution to the wind, and be open and honest with him about it. He doesn't know what the future will hold for the two of you, and probably wants to let it happen naturally, without too much pressure. He's seeing this as 2 friends who are slowly getting closer. Think Daphne and Niles, or Lois and Clark. As long as he knows that you feel the same, and care about his welfare, and the welfare of his child too, and is not expecting the usual romantic overtures, but something real, he'll be really keen for it to happen.
We all want a relationship. I know he does. Lol | |
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| Could he be interested and my blunt comment.
Posted: 6/17/2007 8:05:47 AM | he sounds fast and a little fruity
so itll probably go nowhere
but you slept with him
so i guess you deserve an answer
it could work, i would find your invitation affectionate and endearing
obviously he has had a thing for you everytime you have met
my doubt lies in the spaces in between ......  | |
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| Could he be interested and my blunt comment.
Posted: 6/17/2007 10:12:17 AM | | Not to rain on your parade and all (it sounds like this guy really makes you happy which is fantastic), but it doesn't sound like there's really all that much opportunity for the two of you to spend much quality time together. And if that's the case, is liking each other really enough? I doubt it would be for me. If it is for you, though, then great! | |
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| Could he be interested and my blunt comment.
Posted: 6/17/2007 10:58:31 AM | OP
Big turn on.
Like you- yes, but he gets busy
Spur of the moment, maybe, doesnt mean he doesnt want a repeat
Depending on what you want and how you handle yourself, could become FWB situation or possibly more depends on if he has any significant other you know nothing about.
See you started this thread months ago, how have things worked out? | |
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