| Most women say no because..
Posted: 9/9/2006 9:51:26 AM | Most men today do not present a challenge, a sense of risk and most importantly they are predicatable and in my opinion a wussie.
Now before I get tons of hate mails from others guys, let me explain..
Why do you think nice guys finish last? The main reason is, we were brought up by our mothers to believe that that was only one way to relate to women.
IE: Buy them gifts, over compliment and be around 24/7 for them to fix things and make things right for them.
Sound logical enough doesn't it? Wrong!
Why do you think that the best selling book in the world next to the bible are romance novels?
Women love details, descriptive words that leave up to the imagination, anticipation, mystery and adventure.
The reason women shut down men so fast is because, they have to decide in an instant whether or not you are worth investing her time and energy in.
So they test you. And guys they will ALWAYS test you until the end of time or he/she dies.
Imagine being an attractive women for a moment and what it must be like for her?
Being hit upon 50 times a day and having to react or answer that many times a day. I'd pull my freakin' hair out!
Especially at a bar or a club! 50 drunken slobs hitting on her with dumb ass, unoriginal ways to just say "Hi" I like you, would you like to go out with me sometime so I can maybe get into your panties?
Guys deep down I believe that we all want a meanful long term relationship with one good woman, who wouldn't. Some guys are not ready yet and we get tagged with being a player.
Most men do not know how to be confident and relax and interact with intelligent conversation with a beautiful woman these days.
You do not need too impress her, or buy her affection just to get her to like you. It's hard I know. It hurts to be rejected but, so what..boo hoo. Get over it and move on. Just look at the population of Hamilton for instance. Over 300,000 people. At least half of them will be women. And half of them will still be younger than your grandmother.
Ok. I am almost done.
I am no flippin' expert but I have at least learned from my mistakes. Have a life. Have fun. Be remembered by being who you are not what you have to offer.
These are just a few of my opinions. Thank you for reading.
T. | |
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| Most women say no because..
Posted: 9/9/2006 10:31:51 AM | Men and women - relationships and chance meetings - every person, every relationship, every meeting, is so different than the next, that nothing can ever be written as the sole way to achieve what we are all seeking. Aren't we seeking that one true love who loves us 100% in the way we wish to be loved. We are all raised different, with different ideals, different ways of acceptance - we cannot possibly think that there is a majority who will say yes to our advances. That is why most people are turned down in my opinion - we want that one person who comes as close to all that we have known and wish to fit our ideal mate. The world is a vast place with many characters in the lead roles - hence the choices (in number) are overwhelmingly high. Why not say no to the ones who just don't quite cut it, because somone else is just around the corner.
So why do women say no.... It's because the choices are great and there may be Mr. perfect (perfect for us individually) right around the corner. It's not that nice guys finish last - it's that you may not have even been allowed to get on the starters block, because you didn't fit the ideal. | |
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| Most women say no because..
Posted: 9/9/2006 10:34:13 AM | | I tend to think most women say no because there is a big playground out there and they don't want to feel left out..... blaming guys for being a certain way and not meeting up to her standards is mostly a smoke screen. | |
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| Most women say no because..
Posted: 9/9/2006 11:44:49 AM | I say no because I am not interested...end of story...buh bye 
And contrary to what a lot think, not all women get hit on 50 times a day. Hell I don't get hit on 50 times a week...not even 50 times a month...I don't even think I have been hit on 50 times in one year. | |
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Shaps
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Joined: 4/23/2005
Msg: 6 | |
| Most women say no because..
Posted: 9/9/2006 11:57:01 AM | When you question a woman saying no to you, or not giving you the time of day, then your thinking too much about it.
Who really cares, each person has own preference to what they want.
When I send out a message to someone, if they say no, then who really cares. They are going off pic's and a profile and the message without even wanting to learn more about a person.
I give each person a fair shot, if they don't want to return it, then too bad for them. | |
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| Most women say no because..
Posted: 9/9/2006 3:15:06 PM | I hear what you are saying rowdycowboy. It can be tough for guys, they have to find a fine line of having there edge still, but showing sincerity too. Everyone portrays a pretty girl getting swamped with attention all the time. Maybe, on the online world, but in a bar or club, alot of guys are too intimidated.
One thing I have to say to guys, if you see a girl that looks amazing, dressing nice and hair done, she took the time to do that for that night out. And most anyguy can come up and give her a compliment and say something intelligent will get noticed a little. Guys are so worried about being turned down or getting rejected. Finally when they get the confidence to do it, they are so hammered that they got no game at all. lol. | |
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| Most women say no because..
Posted: 9/9/2006 4:05:26 PM | | man... that was alot to read...so i didnt . Anyways women say NO cause their not interested ..I am kinda shocked this same reason has been typed so many times and yet it hasnt sunk in... why do guys say NO ? truth is most guys dont =] Saying no is a sign of NO interest , saying maybe ....thats also saying no just incase you make a thread about why women say maybe ...anyways champ good luck with your dilemma | |
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| Most women say no because..
Posted: 9/9/2006 4:44:04 PM | | Well, when I reply that no, I am not interested, it means that the only bits of information I have..their email and their profile..dont contain enough things in them that lead me to believe that we might have some common ground. Sometimes I wonder if they have even read my profile, or if they are just casting a big net in the pond and seeing what they drag in! | |
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| Most women say no because..
Posted: 9/9/2006 5:10:30 PM | First off never ask a yes or no question. Dont go out looking for anything.
If the opertunity is there talk to her, if she is talking back ods are in about two minutes you will be the one saying no & moving on. If the conversation is going well you & her will gain information about each other. She will let you know what she likes, & if it is what you like then ask for that dance, dinner, walk on the beach, whatever. I do not like total strangers asking me questions it makes me uneasy, probably makes ladies feal the same way. | |
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| Most women say no because..
Posted: 9/10/2006 10:28:22 AM | Men should sometimes try to picture.... what it's like to be a woman... particularly a beautiful woman. Getting hit on 50 times a day. I always thought men were at a disadvantage, because we are the ones who get rejected all the time. But to be a beautiful woman, it must be so intimidating, and after a while, annoying, being approached and hit on by men every day and everywhere they go. They can't even walk outside their homes without some car driving by with men whistling at them. Even while they drive, they have men who follow them, shout comments out the window. Women must drive cars with A/C because they sure would like to keep the windows up and the radio blaring.
Now, speaking to the men here.... you want to approach one of these women... what is it that you are going to do DIFFERENT, that she hasn't seen before? What will you do that will catch her attention? (remember guys, these women have seen EVERYTHING and have heard just about every line there ever was). Most of us won't know how to be different than the rest of the wusses that these women deal with on a daily basis. | |
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| Most women say no because..
Posted: 9/10/2006 11:10:16 AM | ^^^^^^^
have heard just about every line there ever was
The thing these women want but never get from all these men hitting on them is GENUINENESS..... and I'm sorry to say this.... but really it is only the 'nice' guys who seem to have this.... So that about shoots everything the OP has to say on that matter out the water....
It's not "nice" guys that women are looking to avoid.... it's "wussies" that we avoid. Men who have no backbone, who give their power up to women 10 seconds after meeting her. Grow some balls men... You can still be a "nice" guy and still be appealing to women. Mother's didn't teach their sons these traits for no reason, just to set them up for failure in all their future relationships!! Geez...
OP was right though about buying our affection... this is only true simply because buying our affection is not being genuine.
When women say no, it's because they're not interested in you period.... Either because you had nothing written in your profile that would peak their interest, or simply because you do not fit within the boundaries of their "ideal"
And before you guys flame on me about the word 'ideal'... lets be reasonable here... everybody has an 'ideal' image of what they're looking for.... No, this doesn't mean perfection.. it means that it fits within the boundaries of what a person is looking for in terms of physical features, interests, intelligence, communication ability etc, etc, etc,... Everybody has a scale of each feature that fits into an acceptable or unacceptable range... Yes, some people need to readjust their scales, lol... But everyone is entitled to choose their own standards.
No simply means, you're not what i'm looking for or you haven't given enough information to make me decide to put in the effort to find out if you're what i'm looking for... <-- and in this instance, yes, often these women have several e-mails/profiles to choose from, so of course they're going to choose the ones more in line with their ideals. | |
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| Most women say no because..
Posted: 9/10/2006 3:23:39 PM | Straight from the "Horses mouth" guys pay attention to what they are saying.
Most women do not care about what you have, so quit trying to buy it.
And why have you not read my profile and said hello? Mzalleycat? Shy? Or just playing hard to get.
Let's keep thsi thread going guys, alot of women still need to offer their opinions. | |
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| Most women say no because..
Posted: 9/10/2006 4:04:05 PM | | Don't ask them a yes/no question. Don't give people a chance to say no as most will right away. Give it some time. | |
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| Most women say no because..
Posted: 9/10/2006 9:06:49 PM | Man oh Man.......... this has been very interesting.I am WONDERING what it would be like to get hit on 50 times in one night. I think the last time I was hit on............ I was a Baby. oooooooooooooo he's just sooooooo cute wooggie wooggie wouldn't you like to come home with me?
There might have been one other time.......... I was asked to help set-up a bed... to this day I wonder if I missed out. | |
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| Most women say no because..
Posted: 9/10/2006 10:43:29 PM | The thing I keep reading in this thread is how you guys think we're getting hit on 50 times a day....you're exaggerating a fair amount there. Most women don't get hit on quite that often. What we do get is rude comments, whistling from cars (which was already mentioned), poor drunken attempts at being hit on....now this doesn't necessarily happen to us every day but it does happen often enough, either to us or to our friends that we're jaded by most things guys say to us, however if a guy came up to me and honestly tried to talk to me, not my breasts....me...I would talk to him, get to know him a bit. I'd actually probably be shocked if he wasn't drunk and talking to me at a bar but that's nerves and everyone does that.
Girls just want some sincerity for a change, most of us are sick of the guys who come up to us with some line that 9 times out of 10 is more crude than creative.
You also have to realize that honestly half the time when a girl says no she's really not interested the other half of the time the guy has said something a) really stupid b) really drunk c) really crude or d) really insincere. | |
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| Most women say no because..
Posted: 9/10/2006 11:36:39 PM | God it is so hard getting those 30 or so e-mails a day. I actually do get them too! So there. LOL! wow if it was 50 I'd have carpel tunnel. We do get huge choices on here I admit that.....but the choices we get are not always to our taste. You click on the profile...well that's a Dud....so No! The e-mail shows no imagintion and the spelling sucks.......so No! the guy either smokes like a chimney or drinks a lot...so No! No job description....so No! then they begin the e-mails if you do decide to correspond........golly guys.....when we ask a question..answer it....don't skirt around it and change the subject......another No! When we ask for a home phone # to prove you really exist....or your not married........give us the honest info....or that's a No! The ones we do end up talking to either hold our interest because they are able to answer back and not take 5 minutes to think up an answer, they can actually spell, and they are hilarious and very interesting and well-rounded folks......so that's a Maybe! Then you do meet him....if he actually looks like his picture....and he is clean and neat and smells good and is able to converse.......well that's still a maybe. Finally if we phone each other and it all looks good for about a week or two (that's my time frame) then we actually do get to date and see how things progess........that's still a maybe. In time if the chemistry comes up via kissing and hugging we might try sex with you.....you better be excelling here as we don't keep Duds. So all looks pretty good and the relationship is coming right along. Finally.....are we # 1 prioity in his life....if not.......guess what? That's a No! Is he willing to move my way, or will I move his? Hmmmmmmm he better be taking concrete steps to go one way or the other.....or else another.....No!
These are some of my personal reasons for saying NO! Of course you do realize guys say No too. But that's another Thread......... | |
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| Most women say no because..
Posted: 9/11/2006 1:27:30 AM | | I think the main reason for me to say no is the lack of information. If your profile doesn't say much and you don't have a picture. Then you have lost my interest. I don't get 50 emails a day but I do get quite a few. The ones that get my attention are the ones that don't start out by saying what they want to do to me. Be sincere talk to me intelligently. Stop trying to impress me and start being yourself. Put up a picture. I hate talking to a blank screen. If you don't have a picture I think your hiding something. | |
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| Most women say no because..
Posted: 9/11/2006 3:31:31 AM | | As far as being hit on.....somethings just happen to turn me right off....For one I don't think I am better looking then anyone else....I consider myself average....some turn offs for me would be a guy coming up to me and telling me how beautiful he thinks I am.....and what is a beautiful girl like yourself doing single?? Or he says why aren't all the guys just hovered over you.....or they automatically start calling you *Sweetie* or *Honey*....I am just ME.....what happened to normal conversations...like introducing yourself....then asking for your name, then taking things from there...why do men have to talk about your looks and ask why you are single??? I am tired of the head games out there in society...I know what I want in life....I know where I want to be in my future....but for right now...I am just going to enjoy being single....in the past year I have had my share of thinking that I have met the right match for me....but then they prove me otherwise....I have no luck in the relationship area so I would much rather be alone instead of trying to open up my heart again to only have it get broken...I am not a player....... | |
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| Most women say no because..
Posted: 9/11/2006 8:22:12 AM | Ruby, excellent post!! Man, can you tell we talk about this stuff together! lol I second everything you said there, it's not that we're snobby, or 'full of ourselves'. We just all have ideals for personal reasons.. there are certain characteristics, habits, personality traits or physical traits that may have something reminiscent of our past (bad) experiences. Not necessarily something about you as a person, but just a certain 'thing' about you that this one person can't deal with.
So.. go ahead and email her, be genuine, honest, and funny.. and who knows? May lead to a meeting, may lead to a 'no', but if ya don't try, you'll never find out!  | |
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| Most women say no because..
Posted: 9/11/2006 8:24:25 AM | | I agree with Roxi ... go figure ... i thought women said no to a guy or vica versa because they just weren't interested. Who cares why????? They aren't!!! you aren't going to change their minds so move on lil buckaroo and one day someone will appreciate you for who you are. | |
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| Most women say no because..
Posted: 9/11/2006 11:12:30 AM | | I think Roxy and Ruby both say the same thing..just Roxy was a little more succinct. Too many guys and girls whine about no reply or a "no"...get over yourselves...next! we all have our "ideal"..some are more realistic than others...thats life | |
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| Most women say no because..
Posted: 9/11/2006 11:28:36 AM | Excellent answer Ruby! As for getting 30-50 emails.... nope... I don't get them at the moment... I have in the past, and that is exactly how I handle them too!
However.......... I have sent out about a dozen of my own in the past two weeks..... only two have even bothered to reply.... so I think that blows a lot of theories out of the water. Do I really care if they answer?... nope..... I tend to take an attitude similar to Happy-Shappy..... for whatever reason, I am not to their taste, and I move on..... not a biggie in my world....... JMHO
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| Most women say no because..
Posted: 9/11/2006 11:43:00 AM | Hmmmmmmmmmm......Most women say NO...because (and this is just a guess people, don't start hating on me) the tan line where the ring is supposed to be is just too bold and out there ( you know it's in his pocket)....saying yes would make them wonder a long that little road called "Homewrecker Ave" which is located at the corner of "Till death do us part Blvd" and "Desperation Alley", two or three block from the town called "Trampville".............So a lot of women end up taking the "High Rd" back to their little slice of heaven and to a comfy spot called "The Rightman Will come along" right behind of "Single and lovin it Cres".......
On a serious note....men and women essentially want the same thing, except women are a little bit more forthright in saying it. When they do, some overdramatize the whole thing and make it a scary process for men and others......they just role with the flow.
I guess it's all in how we were raised and how we express our self to other people. I think an important question people should ask themselves before they go out looking for a mate is"
"Would I date me if I were someone of the opposite sex?" If you believe that you would be able to date yourself knowing all the qualities you have that are positive and honorable then finding a mate to match those traits will not be as hard.
Sometimes what we are desperately searching for is right in front of us, but we are humans, we always strive for that perfection and in the end the search will either break us or make us stronger. | |
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