| Strike, strike, STRIKE!
Posted: 9/15/2006 3:35:03 PM | I just realized something. I have the odds stacked against me!
I'm nearly 35, and have never married. Strike one
I'm a single parent. Yet another strike.
My child isn't old enough to allow me lots of free time. Another one..
Aren't the odds of being struck by lightning, higher than the chance me ever finding a spouse?
I have to laugh, if I don't, I'll most certainly cry! | |
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| Strike, strike, STRIKE!
Posted: 9/15/2006 3:43:15 PM | | Yeah, but you're cute, and drink diet coke honey. If I was a guy or gay I would definitely hit on you. | |
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| Strike, strike, STRIKE!
Posted: 9/15/2006 3:45:17 PM | What is a strike is the fact you think any of these issues are strikes against you.
You need to rethink, regroup, and take a long hard look at how people (men) perceive you when thinking this way - it does show on your face. Lighten up, enjoy your life, and stop being like those other women who bemoan their lot in life and use it as the reason they are still single.
Tough love but necessary. | |
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| Strike, strike, STRIKE!
Posted: 9/15/2006 4:00:16 PM | | lyrical _girl is right, you cannot do this to yourself. Do not become your own worst enemy. There are men out there feeling the same as you. We all go through it. By the way, you have a fantastic smile. | |
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| Strike, strike, STRIKE!
Posted: 9/15/2006 4:03:18 PM |
I'm nearly 35, and have never married. Strike one
Not a strike.
I'm a single parent. Yet another strike.
Only to men who do not want children. Not a strike.
My child isn't old enough to allow me lots of free time. Another one..
Depends on if you find a man who is understanding.
Aren't the odds of being struck by lightning, higher than the chance me ever finding a spouse?
Only if you maintain that kind of negative thinking.... | |
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| Strike, strike, STRIKE!
Posted: 9/15/2006 4:24:23 PM | I just realized something. I have the odds stacked against me!
I'm nearly 35, and have never married. Strike one
I'm a single parent. Yet another strike.
My child isn't old enough to allow me lots of free time. Another one..
Aren't the odds of being struck by lightning, higher than the chance me ever finding a spouse?
Well I don't know about the never been married before part, I think many men would find that a plus.
But I won't argue with the rest of it. Yes, it will probably make dating much harder for you.
My suggestion to people is when conventional tactics are not producing the desired results, then shift over to unconventional tactics.
The chances of you finding a spouse? Well you're a woman, you control access to sex with you, so you can find a spouse if you really wanted one. But can you find one that you find suitable and desirable? Maybe that's the better question to ask yourself.
And to be honest, you might have work ten times as hard as other women to get the things you want out of a relationship. And that's ok. Everyone has positives and negatives in their life to have to work around.
Men don't ask you out? Ask them out.
Men get tired of most women's incessant bullshit? Be the one woman who is a complete straight shooter about everything.
The men you don't desirable are the ones most likely to chase you? Put yourself in a different location where you are around more desirable men.
Make yourself stand out to men. Be unique from the crowd. Make men stand up and take notice of you.
And as others have said, be positive. Why not? What do you have to lose by being positive? Don't get me wrong, being positive may not get you your desired results. But what's the alternative?
I do think it is refreshing though that you break down what will probably hinder your dating with clarity and honesty. Most women wouldn't do that. And you'll find many men will find that general kind of honesty ( well not the same kind of specific negative honesty you used here) to be refreshing and interesting. Look at Erin Brockovich. Sure she was a beauty queen once, but she was far far from a beauty queen when she had three kids and not a dime to her name. And some men, after seeing her direct and honest nature, found her extremely desirable.
For what its worth, I think you are alot further along than some of the women on this site who continue to delude themselves about the reality of their dating prospects.
Be unconventional. You've got nothing to lose.
Good luck to you. | |
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| Strike, strike, STRIKE!
Posted: 9/15/2006 8:03:42 PM | | U see all those things as negative attributes...what are your positive attributes :) | |
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| Strike, strike, STRIKE!
Posted: 9/15/2006 8:16:18 PM | Aw, you're smart, pretty and funny. That'll count more than those so-called strikes.
And "nearly 35" is young! Young! Best years, kiddo! Enjoy every minute!
By the way, I have a friend who has (literally) been struck by lightning twice! He's alive and kicking ... | |
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| Strike, strike, STRIKE!
Posted: 9/15/2006 10:14:25 PM | ok well...
you are not a bbw, have a nice appearance, dont smoke and
a very nice smile
this removes one strike.
you are still young even if you dont think 35 is young...
it is in the grand scheme... and your healthy, not in a wheelchair
or with a disease that has you bedridden or ill...
this removes one strike.
You are employed, can care for yourself, are literate and
only have one child and not a house full of them...
this removes one strike.
I would say your odds are good... to do whatever you want.
OP... on your profile... what is "420" comment about?
is this a drug or some code for something Canadian?
I have no idea what 420 is. | |
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| Strike, strike, STRIKE!
Posted: 9/15/2006 10:36:38 PM | Damn!
If only you would have fouled one off, you'd have another strike coming! | |
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| Strike, strike, STRIKE!
Posted: 9/16/2006 12:10:05 AM | 420 is pot. I just don't need any of that stuff around me!
I'm a very happy girl, I have a good life, and this I know. I'm a fun person to be around, and I have the best time making people laugh, and enjoy time with me.
I have PLENTY to offer, but you know when you see those 3 big things, especially the over 35 part.. yikes, sometimes its a bit of a scary world out there!
I had a super date this evening with someone from POF, and I know I have lots to offer the right person.. .Maybe if he's lucky, he's it! ROTFL!!!! | |
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| Strike, strike, STRIKE!
Posted: 9/16/2006 3:39:50 AM | I am so glad someone asked about the "420."
None of these things are strikes. If you do a quick search on the dating sites, most of the women in the 30-40 range have kids. I don't have exact numbers, but I would say 9 out of 10 profiles I look at fit this description.
Any man worth having is going to understand the kid needing your time. Single dads know exactly what you are going through.
I have no idea about the lightning, I always thought it was being abducted by terrorists
Good luck, don't worry about finding a spouse (that makes guys run  ). Just have fun and the right one will show up. | |
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| Strike, strike, STRIKE!
Posted: 9/16/2006 5:04:22 AM | Well, none of those things would be a "strike" as far as I'm concerned...
The only "strike" against you in my book is that you're too far away. | |
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mmb71
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Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 14 | |
| Strike, strike, STRIKE!
Posted: 9/16/2006 8:13:14 AM | ALL types of people find love in this world of ours.
I am pretty much in the same boat as you (only I have been married before- which some might view as yet another strike LOL). But I don't consider any of those "strikes". Everyone has their own situation, none perfect.
There's nothing to cry about as you say. Keep smiling and think positive.  | |
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| Strike, strike, STRIKE!
Posted: 9/16/2006 11:08:47 AM | OP-Attitude over Aptitude will determine Altitude in life.
Self-pity is never a good thing and if you view your situation as negative, it will be viewed that way by others. Positive thinking can do wonders-doesn’t mean you don't acknowledge your reality; it just means you choose to view it differently.
Positive thinking would be, AGE is a number- you've didn’t get married just because everyone else was doing it at "xyz" age
Not being married means you are selective and didn’t settle for the first “dolt” that asked you-shows self-esteem
Being a single parent means you’ve shown responsibility by taking care of your child- you didn't run from your obligations-or try to pass them off to someone else
“No One can make you feel inferior without YOUR consent.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt
Although unfortunately there are those on this site that would try....
Remember you only need to hook One good fish, not a bunch of them -best of luck  | |
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| Strike, strike, STRIKE!
Posted: 9/16/2006 1:06:56 PM | For whats its worth, and if distance and smoking werent issues.
Your situation would be perfect for me. Im not saying we would be a match or not. But one of my main requirements is younger children. | |
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| Strike, strike, STRIKE!
Posted: 9/16/2006 1:14:12 PM | | OP I think you just need to rethink your attitude....if you had more of a positive attitude, you'd probably have TONS of guys who wanted to date you! JMO. | |
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| Strike, strike, STRIKE!
Posted: 9/16/2006 2:33:56 PM | Most of our obstacles in life are illusory, they're obstacles because we view them to be such. Some just find a way to do what they want, obstacles be damned!! Odds and statistics have their place, and in my opinion love and romance ain't it.
Ever think you may be using this as an excuse for not trying to get out there? Just a thought. | |
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| Strike, strike, STRIKE!
Posted: 9/16/2006 2:47:59 PM | At some point in our lives everyone probably feels a little like that.After my divorce I figured no one would want someone divorced with a child.I was wrong.My someone wanted me in his life very much.My daughter was not a strike but a bonus to him.Love happens,don't put up road blocks dear.
You are very pretty.View your child as a gift not a strike and accept no less from a man. | |
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| Strike, strike, STRIKE!
Posted: 9/16/2006 3:09:21 PM | Having never been married is a huge plus. Being divorced is a red flag because it means that you made a lifelong commitment and then couldn't stick to it. Also, as bad as the divorce rate is, it's even higher for people who have divorced previously.
Most importantly at your age you're probably at your sexual peak. Find a good 18 year old in the same boat  | |
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| Strike, strike, STRIKE!
Posted: 9/16/2006 8:00:53 PM | | i think ur too focused on the negitive things u can offer a realationship look for the possitives it will be easier to find someone.. i know with me personally i think any man allowed near my daugther should feel blessed she is truely an angel and guess what if anything i have more strikes then u hell im a 21 yr old single mom alot easier to explain a 35 yr old single mom thats more common but hey i know i have alot to offer and so does my daugther to the right person | |
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| Strike, strike, STRIKE!
Posted: 9/16/2006 8:09:51 PM | I'm 40, married twice, I have three kids, youngest is 2 1/2. I work full time +.....hmmm, never thought any of that were strikes AGAINST ME.....wow....I don't date every day, and not every weekend either. Finding someone is NOT first on my priority list. Enjoying life is. I would stop thinking so negatively about the things that you feel are negative and focus on the positive ones. For instance, you are 35, and have never been married, then also means you have never been divorced either. Good for you! Second, you have a child already at 35, which means you perhaps won't have a high-risk prengnancy, good for you!! What's the saying (so corny, I know)...Life gives you lemons? Make lemonaide~~~ Good luck~~ | |
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| Strike, strike, STRIKE!
Posted: 9/16/2006 9:06:29 PM | What u consider strikes are really assets! At 35 hopefully u know where u are going and what u want out of life. Your sexuality should be peaking. Having a child is probably the best thing in your life! Children tend to ground us and make us realize our priorities. Life is never fair, u just have to know how to swing with the punches. Rethink what u have, many people would probably love to be in your shoes! It's not hopeless, you are in the prime of your life!  | |
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| Strike, strike, STRIKE!
Posted: 9/16/2006 9:53:45 PM | | Well, Doctor Kavorkian is dead now. If you're going to do anything drastic, you're going to have to do it to yourself lol | |
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