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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > Why do pretty women make you so flustered.      Home login  
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 amonty54
Joined: 7/24/2006
Msg: 1
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Why do pretty women make you so flustered.Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I have been on here a few month now looking for Ms. right and have been contacted by many women. Almost all very nice and all a little differant in some ways. Size and looks are not all that important but when a shapely pretty woman comes along it seems I turn into a differant person. Even though the couple of women like that have not felt they were that pretty and were having hard times getting dates I just find it hard to believe and lose my wit and charm.What's up with that anybody know. Life is so fun and yet to short to be so flustered.
Adrian
 sass393
Joined: 2/20/2005
Msg: 2
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Why do pretty women make you so flustered.
Posted: 9/18/2006 12:19:14 PM
I get like that sometimes too. this really goodlooking guy came to work once...I had to register him. I couldn't even type. I couldn't look him in the eye either.
I don't normally get like that but this guy...wow.
can't really say why it happened & thankfully it doesn't happen often.
 Jarbarian
Joined: 2/9/2006
Msg: 3
Why do pretty women make you so flustered.
Posted: 9/18/2006 12:26:19 PM
Why? Lack of confidence and nothing more. If you don't believe in yourself, you'll show it when you're around people who intimate you.

You'll stop being intimidated when you believe in your heart that you are as valuable as anyone else.

Start looking at beautiful women as equals and the nerves will go away. The best thing you can do is practice talking to beautiful women as often as you can.
 amonty54
Joined: 7/24/2006
Msg: 4
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Why do pretty women make you so flustered.
Posted: 9/18/2006 12:40:02 PM
Thanks for the input. I have a strong confidence level and it is probably as you say that I don't in my heart beleive I am as valuable. I do know compared to most guys my age I am way above average or I am told that a lot but have those doubts. Thanks.
 MotleyGrrl
Joined: 7/8/2006
Msg: 5
Why do pretty women make you so flustered.
Posted: 9/18/2006 1:29:16 PM
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII really don't think it has anything to do with confidence. Getting butterflies in your stomach and feeling a bit nervous doesnt mean you lack confidence, it means your hormones are taking over, lol
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 6
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Why do pretty women make you so flustered.
Posted: 9/18/2006 2:02:58 PM
Imagine her(or him, for you gals that get rattled by a goodlookin' guy) sitting on the john
Works for me!
Cindy O
 Jarbarian
Joined: 2/9/2006
Msg: 7
Why do pretty women make you so flustered.
Posted: 9/18/2006 3:20:11 PM

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII really don't think it has anything to do with confidence. Getting butterflies in your stomach and feeling a bit nervous doesnt mean you lack confidence, it means your hormones are taking over, lol


If he gets nervous or flustered when speaking with gorgeous women, it isn't butterflies....it's confidence and how you view yourself in relation to the person you are talking to.

I've gotten butterflies many times talking to gorgous women I am interested in and never once did I break eye contact or stumble on words. Those are sure signs of a lack of self-worth/value.
 TattoosAreAddictive
Joined: 6/3/2005
Msg: 8
Why do pretty women make you so flustered.
Posted: 9/18/2006 4:06:07 PM
We all have a tendancy to become a bumbling fool when someone good looking comes along.
 Tarra
Joined: 7/22/2006
Msg: 9
Why do pretty women make you so flustered.
Posted: 9/18/2006 4:13:45 PM
OP you are not alone. I also get flustered around extremely attractive men. I don't know why, but I get very nervous and feel self conscious. What does that say about us? I am also usually very self confident and not insecure about myself. I wish I could get over that phobia lol

Tara
 BellancaScout
Joined: 7/19/2006
Msg: 10
Why do pretty women make you so flustered.
Posted: 9/18/2006 4:19:55 PM
I think pretty much everyone here hit the nail on the head. It *IS* self-confidence. It isn't however a lack of self-confidence - well, not exactly.

We look for someone that's like us - that's in "our league". When we encounter someone good looking (or who appears on a LOT of favourite lists), we don't think that person is on par with us (they're above us) and that puts us out of our comfort zone.

Someone suggested thinking of that person sitting on the john. That's a great way to bring that person back to your level. Hey, they do every day what you do - kind of "normalizes" them.

The trick I use to dealing with butterflies is I just try every day to step outside of my comfort zone. I have no problem starting a conversation with a President or CEO of an organization - they're just people like us. Now when that "I've just got to have him!" guy comes along, I don't know how I feel... but I've got a new trick to use, right Johnny? (-:

(At the end of the day, that good lookin' guy/gal is still a person - just like you and me!)
 ShoneStar
Joined: 5/18/2006
Msg: 11
Why do pretty women make you so flustered.
Posted: 9/18/2006 4:20:48 PM
I found when I am forced to make small talk with some very attractive men I get flustered for one reason. If they see I find them attractive then my vulnerability makes me look like a horny perv. I've asked out very attractive men without batting an eyelash. It took time. I just react with hot red complexion when they catch me off guard. I lose my voice sometimes too lol...
 amonty54
Joined: 7/24/2006
Msg: 12
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Why do pretty women make you so flustered.
Posted: 9/18/2006 4:41:36 PM
Some great input here and thanks. It makes us all think better. Now, If I can just recover from my mess up and get the connection back in place the world will be much brighter. I imagine someone will help me understand how to recover. Thanks to all.
 Jarbarian
Joined: 2/9/2006
Msg: 13
Why do pretty women make you so flustered.
Posted: 9/18/2006 4:49:10 PM

Some great input here and thanks. It makes us all think better. Now, If I can just recover from my mess up and get the connection back in place the world will be much brighter. I imagine someone will help me understand how to recover. Thanks to all.


Are you talking about this particular woman? It might be hard to do but you just have to treat her like you would anyone else. I always approach a beautiful woman the same way. I say to myself "Don't focus on WHAT she is, focus on WHO she is..." because beauty is really only skin deep. She might be beautiful but she could be a bad person once you get to know her.

The best thing for you to do is just focus on learning to love and accept who you are. Keep telling yourself you are worthy. Keep telling yourself that you're just as worthy. It works....
 jpl3447
Joined: 2/5/2005
Msg: 14
Why do pretty women make you so flustered.
Posted: 9/18/2006 4:55:41 PM
My theory is that a man becomes flustered around a pretty woman because he doesn't want to come across as a jerk or someone just interested in her because she is pretty. Or hot. Or cute. Anyways so he then is busy trying to not appear like a typical guy that leers and whistles... therefore losing focus and becoming flustered. So... best thing to do is to know yourself and be confident. Anyhow that is my theory and I think that is why I become flustered around pretty women. Of course I might be wrong about my perception of what a typical guy is to a pretty woman but nonetheless I am sure pretty women have to put up with some catcalls and whistles and come-ons.
 ronin66
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 15
But you women have the POWER!
Posted: 9/18/2006 6:18:16 PM
I dunno why all you pretty ladies get so nervous.

As liberated and equal our society is, it's still the GUY that has to work up the nerve to walk up to YOU. It's the GUY that has to risk opening his mouth and making a complete idiot out of himself. It's the GUY that has to get YOUR number. It is also the GUY that has to come up with a smooth pick-up line.

But it is not enough that he utters that pick-up line, he has to come up with a line that doesn't SOUND like a pick-up line. He has to worry about the tone, the timbre, the manner of his posture, the timing and emphasis of each. individual. word. Even the SLIGHTEST failure or deviance can put the operation in the gravest of danger. If the woman even SUSPECTS any weakness or hesitation or any hint of insecurity - he will surely be undone!!

The opening line alone is like the mating ritual of the Black Widow. The male must tap on the female's web in the EXACT correct sequence. Success brings copulation. Failure on any point of this complex code brings INSTANT DEATH at the hands of the female.

The female isn't worried about looking smooth. She doesn't have to. All she has to do is look beautiful and the males just come.

Hot Ladies of the World, if your beautiful, the world is your oyster! All you have to do is pick and choose who among LOS GANADOS (Spanish for cattle) will live or die.

Don't worry about making a fool of yourself, ladies. You'll get someone - easy as pie.
 ronin66
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 16
Wait a second. . .
Posted: 9/18/2006 6:21:20 PM
Come to think of it.

Forget the pick-up line!

Dating IN GENERAL is the Mating Ritual of the Black Widow!!
 PrettyPicky
Joined: 8/12/2006
Msg: 17
Wait a second. . .
Posted: 9/18/2006 6:32:55 PM
Even though the couple of women like that have not felt they were that pretty and were having hard times getting dates I just find it hard to believe and lose my wit and charm.


I don't know what's up with that--but I can tell you DON'T DO IT!!

Particularily the "I just find it hard to believe" part. My ex-boyfriend, who did have a lot of great qualities (and okay some deal breakers that I didn't know about until after the fact)--said the same thing when we got together. Then, partially because of his disbelief, started sabotaging the relationship by pushing me away.

I also wonder if it was his excuse to want me to be completely committed to him, while he was still looking for options on the internet?

I don't know maybe you can tell me?

But if you really like and care about this woman, don't do it. Be honest with her, and if you deliver it in the right way, she'll probably be charmed.

$0.02 CAD
 hahahoho
Joined: 9/15/2006
Msg: 18
Why do pretty women make you so flustered.
Posted: 9/18/2006 7:25:26 PM
Being flustered is the expression of vulnerability one feels when they would gladly submit to humiliation in order to be favored. It is from feeling unworthy of the good looking person.
 chaztity
Joined: 9/11/2006
Msg: 19
Why do pretty women make you so flustered.
Posted: 9/18/2006 8:44:27 PM
The same reason why too attractive men make me flustered.

Actually, most men make me blush, as weird as that sounds.

It's just that I'm shy.
 bunnymom
Joined: 8/10/2006
Msg: 20
Why do pretty women make you so flustered.
Posted: 9/19/2006 1:15:52 AM
A, I think that all of the ideas people have expressed here are great food for thought...YOU have to decide if you are willing to walk out on that limb...If she truly meant that much to you, then you must try to reestablish the connection and right the wrong. You will be doing a disservice to yourself if you don't...and you will always wonder what could have been. JMPO: Take a chance on love, A, it is SO worth it. You know me, I wouldn't steer you wrong...

G
 Eagle331
Joined: 2/12/2005
Msg: 21
Why do pretty women make you so flustered.
Posted: 9/20/2006 8:32:21 AM
I think that motleygirl has it right.We have all felt it and we all get nervous when someone you consider very attractive come up to you.We all have to remember that taking chances in the world is what has gotten us this far in life.If you are attracted and get those feelings then do something about it.Ask her or him out dont be shy and anyways what can she do?say no.We wont die from a little rejection.
Keep it real and enjoy.

Paul
 Funme40
Joined: 4/4/2006
Msg: 22
Why do pretty women make you so flustered.
Posted: 9/20/2006 8:42:40 AM
It’s your subconscious sending you messages. The message being that since they look good, you’ll never be enough for them. It’s the body’s defence mechanism sending you vibes so you can just ignore them and walk away…lol.
 affa
Joined: 8/21/2006
Msg: 23
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Why do pretty women make you so flustered.
Posted: 9/20/2006 3:10:59 PM
i get flustered just looking at myself in the mirror.
 CapnK
Joined: 6/30/2005
Msg: 24
Why do pretty women make you so flustered.
Posted: 9/22/2006 2:06:43 PM
Hi Tara ! I must say, you have some very interesting ideas ! Methinks I'd have you laughing, giggling all night long , with my out doors tales ! And the stories of other encounters, are just too much ! lol HAGD ! Luv reading you ! Keith
 LadyChele
Joined: 4/1/2007
Msg: 25
Why do pretty women make you so flustered.
Posted: 4/18/2007 5:57:41 PM
Because every guy wants those pretty women even if you got them. So if you get you a full figure lady with a heart of gold you won't have that problem. Us full figure lady loves the same way as a skinny one does but we just got more there for you to love.
Michele
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