| Friends w/ benefits?-
Posted: 9/18/2006 2:28:18 PM | Ok, I have one for you.Is it posibile to have a "friend w/benifits and also have them as a close friend as well?.........In other words.If you are to have someone who is basically a F**k buddy...Is it possible to be friends with them as the same time and not allow yourself to get feelings for them when you are together......Just asking cause I am going through that and need some advice. | |
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| Friends w/ benefits?-
Posted: 9/24/2006 2:20:31 PM | | well I went through that last year...but I can say that it is hard not to develop feelings for that person...in my case it was all good til I got the feelings for him...we are still friends but not like before we slept together...so just be careful...another point that needs to be touched is...if all you are is f**k buddies, then how many more do you think your friend has? when you sleep with him/her then you sleep with everyone they have...unless there is enough trust to know you are the only one...if so then that is called a relationship | |
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| Friends w/ benefits?-
Posted: 2/5/2007 3:35:21 PM | | This type of thing is possible, though it's difficult, and in most cases, not worth the trouble. Good friends are awesome, but in order to be able to sleep with them and not start developing a crush, you have to make 100% certain before hand that you're not compatible on that level, or you're going to end up potentially getting hurt. | |
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| Friends w/ benefits?-
Posted: 2/21/2007 6:31:41 AM | I would not mind being your "friend w/benefits". I believe that you should be close friends first, then later enjoy the benefits. I don't think having just a F**k buddy will work for very long. There is something about the closeness of the bodies that evolves into more. Unless you merely have mutual masturbation.
What is wrong with being friends with them? | |
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| Friends w/ benefits?-
Posted: 4/14/2007 7:22:31 AM | Well,
I'm no expert but I am a survivor... it has worked for me for about the last 5 years.
But there are conditions that make it unique....
#1 -neither of us are under 50....
#2- we live over 1000 miles apart
#3- we see each other about 1-2 times a year.
#4- neither of us have found anyone special,
#5- we e-mail each other 1-3 times weekly.
#6 - if I was 20 years younger and $100,000 richer (less poor actually) I think things would be different.
#7- because of family situations, she has obligations and so do I.
#8- we both come from did it, been there, got the T-shirt- romance, marriage, family etc.
#9- we also knew each other plutonically oh- 15-20 years. Actually a death of a mutual friend caused our re-aquaintance.
#10 when your 5-10 years from retirement, giving up a job to go live elsewhere is "sudden death" for old white fat men...the most discriminated faction in our economy. So you make do with what you got or don't have..
DO NOT DO THIS AT HOME - This is only done by skilled professionals with years of experience and training. | |
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| Friends w/ benefits?-
Posted: 5/21/2007 7:34:42 PM | | Sure it's possible. I had that with a gal I once knew. We had been close friends for several years before we ever slept together. And we were able to remain close friends right up until we both moved away. I think the only reason we were able to keep that closeness is we discussed it completely beforehand, making sure that neither had any expectations and that we both wanted to keep it on a "no-strings" basis. We still hung out like we always did, and continued to be able to talk to each other about anything and everything. And whenever those nights happened that one of us was feeling a need, that person would just ask the other if they felt like it. We were happy to be able to help one another. Like I said, if you are wanting to keep it strictly on a friends with benefits basis, talk with that person and make sure they feel the same way you do. As it is with any kind of a relationship, the key is communication. Good luck. | |
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| Friends w/ benefits?-
Posted: 6/19/2007 10:26:55 AM | | Ok, I hope this helps...It is definately possible, with the right communication. You have to be sure of your own decision and stick with it, you don't find good friends everyday. As far as the friend goes, ask if he/she is sure thats what they want, and be aware of where your friendship is, that way you don't get sidetracked thinking they are the 'one'. I am friends to this day still with what you call a 'f*** buddy' and I wouldn't have it any other way. We have walked each other through some of the worst life had to deal us, but because we communicated we didn't get caught up in some kind of fantasy-I cherish that friendship to this day, and always will...good luck | |
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| Friends w/ benefits?-
Posted: 6/23/2007 8:55:20 AM | i don't agree with friends w/ benefits at all,
the reason why is because it can cause problems
1. if you feel more for them, then they do you, that can hurt you
2. if they have aother people as the same, then one could get jealous and decide they don't want too share
3.you could catch something from them cause you aint the only one they have for benefits | |
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| Friends w/ benefits?-
Posted: 7/13/2007 8:29:23 PM | Hhhmmm...I never was, am not, and never will be some disease carrying loosey goosey, tyvm renegade for painting such a lovely picture 
And for the record for anyone who cares, depending on how good of a friend you are and have, you know exactly who their partners are, were, or will be...or in some cases, the purpose of the arangement (in my case for sure) is that neither friend is in a relationship or has any desire to be intimate in a way that would lead to one, and have no other partners....and it wouldnt be a friend at all if they werent careful and took precautions to protect anyone whom they came into contact with. Ok, I feel a bit better now...Bless all  | |
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| Friends w/ benefits?-
Posted: 1/6/2008 2:41:54 PM | | Oh, boy, I am right smack in the middle of that right now myself. I'm hoping it works out because he sure is a nice guy and we are good friends, but the better it is and the more intimate it is, the closer I feel to him. We've agreed on this type of relationship because we tried dating full-force but I fell in love WAY too fast and scared him off by trying to get him to meet my family after only a few weeks (my bad). And I work full-time and go to school finishing my nursing degree, so I don't have time to do the traditional starting of a committed long-term relationship. But I confess that basically this was his idea - he said he wasn't ready for anything more and that he was still recovering from a couple of bad relationships. So for us, so far, it's working OK - as long as we are being "with" each other we have agreed to not be "with" anyone else, but with the understanding that if a "real" relationship becomes available (that could lead to true love and committment and all that other stuff), we are free to move on. So, I just try to go with the flow and try not to say too much about my feelings except what a wonderful friend he is, how much I enjoy our time together, which is true. But if I didn't have these restrictions on this relationship, it would be very easy for me to fall in love with him all over again..... I see I am replying to a rather old posting, so if anyone out there has any thoughts on this subject, I sure would like to hear them!!!! | |
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| Friends w/ benefits?-
Posted: 1/12/2008 9:52:54 AM | am in this situation myself as well...similar to yours or-nurse with a little different twist...the issue for us (or so he says) is that he is looking for someone to have children with and i am past that...my kids are grown and i have no desire to start over...our understanding is the same...if we meet someone else with relationship potential, we move on...
the problem for me (as with many others in FWB relationships) is that i have feelings and am having a hard detaching...whether i want it to be or not, whether i planned it or not, my heart is in it...it's getting harder and harder to deal with that and yet, ending it is something i'm having a hard time doing...i know it needs to happen, i just can't seem to do it...
i think it's a lose, lose situation that rarely, if ever, works out.... | |
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| Friends w/ benefits?-
Posted: 1/28/2008 12:59:55 AM | Yes you can have pointless sex it could phase nothing, not to sound like a barrer of bad news love doesn't exist except in the mind or some pathetic philosapher came up with to try to explain a chemical raction known as(spreading the seed to secure the future of the human race). You can be friends with benefits I used to do it all the time with out drama. Seriously why do you think hookers can have sex and not get attacted because thats how the humans are designed, we dont need one partner for life. Humans are by the laws of science pramiscuous anyway. | |
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| Friends w/ benefits?-
Posted: 6/16/2009 6:31:42 PM | | It is possible but both have to have the understanding from the beginning. Otherwise, as others have noted, a closeness develops and someone will eventually get hurt. Such a relationship could last years but in most cases they last just a few and then the friends find someone they really connect with. I've known married people who have had "friends" on the side for many years to fill that physical and emotional gap they can't find with their spouse. | |
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