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 JoanClayton
Joined: 9/11/2006
Msg: 1
Why do people ask why you're single?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I know there's a post on here asking why you're single and actually I'm amazed that so many people on a dating site said they were single by choice! I guess they are just looking to date and not anything long-term. But I'm curious why people ALWAYS ask you why you're single as if something's wrong with you. Most people I know are not single by choice. I'm single for a variety of reasons. I am a single mom and work 2 jobs so that doesn't leave much time for a social life. I also am not one to approach men (unless I've had a drink or two!) and I find that while I've had men approach me, I often get the looks but never anyone just asking me my name and number. That used to happen a lot when I was younger so I don't know if as men get older they get less confident because I look exactly the same, almost strangely so! :-). It could also be that a lot of the time I'm out with my son and they don't know how to approach me when he's with me. I'm not sure at all which I guess is why I'm on here! But it always annoys me when people go out of their way to ask why I'm single and then the inevitable, 'but you're so nice and cute, you're a good catch, etc.' I've seen a lot of guys on here saying they are 'the nice guy' and there's a ton of 'nice girls' on here but again, those who are attached somehow think it's strange that we're not like they never were! Anyone have any other thoughts on this?
 GoldenNugget
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 2
Why do people ask why you're single?
Posted: 9/18/2006 2:43:57 PM
Hi Joan,

You know, I think people who are attached ask why are we single...is that at our age they think we should have our *stuff* together and have a man already! Or why didn't we keep the man we had when we were married....we must have done something wrong....or he wouldn't have left us high and dry...whatever....

I am single because at my age, I don't see anyone knocking down my door to get to me...My days for my Knight in Shining Armour is gone...I do think...but that isn't a bad thing...I have my writing...I'm in the process of getting a book published...and I am enjoying my life and the few dates a month that I do get.

So, why am I single...because I'm not attached yet! Some of us really don't care to be...what if you have to share your finances...or whatever...when you are used to doing things alone...it is a lot to think about...and a lot to put up with...if you aren't used to change.

GN
 Byrd
Joined: 7/19/2004
Msg: 3
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Why do people ask why you're single?
Posted: 9/18/2006 3:08:02 PM
Isn't it obvisous..?
 Double Cabin
Joined: 11/29/2004
Msg: 4
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Why do people ask why you're single?
Posted: 9/18/2006 3:23:07 PM
Ohh, shuhawucks, I don't know why I'm single. If I only had a brain. Rhetorical questions are rarely kind.
 TattoosAreAddictive
Joined: 6/3/2005
Msg: 5
Why do people ask why you're single?
Posted: 9/18/2006 3:42:14 PM
I am single because I don't do a lot of clubbing and I don't go to bars, so that limits me. And when I do see a guy when I'm out, all I get is looks and things shouted at me(like Hey Baby etc.) I would have had so many boyfriends by now if a guy had come and talked to me instead of staring. And yes I do talk to guys when I'm out. In so many of the stores around the mall and around town I'm well known to the guys there. I have no problem communicating with the opposite sex. The opposite sex has a problem communicating with me! Guys are a bit intimidated by me because of the tattoos and piercings. Just because I have them doesn't mean I'm not still girly. I wear skirts and heels sometimes and put on make-up. People just stereotype and categorize too much online.
 BlueeyedBabe
Joined: 11/3/2005
Msg: 6
Why do people ask why you're single?
Posted: 9/18/2006 3:46:43 PM
I personally like being single. However get asked that Q alot on pof.
 JoanClayton
Joined: 9/11/2006
Msg: 7
Why do people ask why you're single?
Posted: 9/18/2006 5:48:43 PM
You're so right Tattoos! I do think people categorize and stereotype too much! They look at you and get this idea that you're 'insert category here' and so they think you wouldn't speak to them or they don't want to speak to you because they've stereotyped you because of your looks. I also had a guy tell me that men don't talk to me because they think they're going to get shot down. That they've had it happen too many times so they don't do it, but I'm sorry if that's the case, then I don't need you. You have to go for what you want! I want someone who's not shy who's confident in themselves but not arrogant! It turns me on when a guy is confident and acts like a man. I know in this day and age there are so many women who want to seem to have gotten things confused. They have men thinking that equal rights means no chivalry. Hey maybe that's why I'm single because I'm too old-fashioned! But then again I'm on here so I can't be too old-fashioned right!?
 Miz_Jenn
Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 8
Why do people ask why you're single?
Posted: 9/18/2006 9:06:38 PM
I'm an attractive young girl and I get asked the question "so why is a beautiful girl like your self single?” My question is simple "because I am" I enjoy being single their is nothing wrong with being single you just have to improvise. I have a lot of good friends that I hang out with that keep me company I'm not desperate to find a man on this site, the time will come when I will meet the right man. Another reason could be that I am still single is because no one has found the time to show that their really interested in me. I have gone on many dates with people and they seemed interested at first but then after the date is over I never here from them again. So I guess I wasn't their cup of tea and sometimes people ask you if your single to try and make conversation, when they ask you they might be interested in you, keep that in mind:)
 Top It
Joined: 5/26/2006
Msg: 9
Why do people ask why you're single?
Posted: 9/18/2006 9:22:00 PM
Too funny of a post.

Reminds me of the line in the movie "Gramdmas Boy" where Shirley Jones asks the older guy in teh kitchen if he has a girlfriend and he says "not right now" or whatever, and she replies "I'll call my grandson and you two can hang out, he's gay also."
 Byrd
Joined: 7/19/2004
Msg: 10
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Why do people ask why you're single?
Posted: 9/18/2006 10:09:52 PM
I'm sorry I'm high whats the question again?
 colt8301
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 11
Why do people ask why you're single?
Posted: 12/19/2006 3:19:25 AM
some people ask me why I am single, only because they only know my good qualities they have not seen the bad ones. I just don't like it making it seem like it's a sickness or bad thing. alot of times I end up asking them why they are in a relationship that won't last. me I am a realist so I see no points in relationships i know are going to end.
 Spelly
Joined: 6/6/2006
Msg: 12
Why do people ask why you're single?
Posted: 12/19/2006 3:36:39 AM
Aside from POF threads ~ which I never get involved in ~ people used to ask me all the time why I was single when I was.

My reply was always the same ~ because I have standards.
 Smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 13
Why do people ask why you're single?
Posted: 12/22/2006 6:58:28 PM
They ask to make conversation kind of like they ask, "How are you?" They are not really looking a truthful answer. If a guy you are interested in asks then reply, "Are you offering to remedy my condition?"
 hazy vistas
Joined: 12/10/2006
Msg: 14
Why do people ask why you're single?
Posted: 12/22/2006 9:04:36 PM
They ask why you are single for the same reason people ask why they get asked why they are single. Like a swallow to Capistrano, a curious mind flies towards answers.
 Sombient
Joined: 9/29/2006
Msg: 15
Why do people ask why you're single?
Posted: 12/22/2006 9:17:44 PM
^^ Damn! You know boy, you shore do sound a lot like Thorn!
 JustCallMeMike
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 16
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Why do people ask why you're single?
Posted: 12/22/2006 10:41:45 PM
I guess people are curious about how is it some people can find meeting others easier than others. I personally like to be approached by a woman. I am not confident in myself. Too many hopes bashed against the rocks and torment from the opposite sex I guess, that and I have a minor case of social anxiety. But, to stay on topic, I believe it is curiousity.
 Dood
Joined: 9/23/2006
Msg: 17
Why do people ask why you're single?
Posted: 12/23/2006 10:48:18 AM
personally, i still have yet to figure out the reason why i am single. i am fairly confident in myself but i do need to know for sure that there is a high possibility (80%) that the girl is indeed interested in me before i can ask her out. i fear rejection and i know so do most people but i have yet to have enough practice to be ok with rejections.

another reason that i am single is probably because that i somewhat regret breaking up with my ex and when i see girls, i compare them to my ex and come to the conclusion that "i don't think we are going to work out..."
 Dood
Joined: 9/23/2006
Msg: 18
Why do people ask why you're single?
Posted: 12/23/2006 12:27:53 PM
I might sound like i have very high standards but i am actually really open about meeting new people and am very much a fun and easy going guy. sorry i had to clear that up so i don't ruin my chances of meeting new people
 Van_loon
Joined: 12/3/2006
Msg: 19
Why do people ask why you're single?
Posted: 12/23/2006 2:55:19 PM
Why am i single ? there is a variety of reasons for it as well one being a choice but the other is i have not found the one.

I dont date i dont want to have a lot of gf's i just one that one i can be happy with, as i know who i am as a person and what im looking for i dont see the point to be with someone i just know it will not work with.

When i find someone i can see myself being in a loving relationship with then i will not be single.

As they say there is someone for everyone and im just 1 in a very big sea and there is one fisherchick that will hook and keep me for life.
 BrunetteLeana76
Joined: 9/13/2005
Msg: 20
Why do people ask why you're single?
Posted: 12/23/2006 3:46:51 PM
I have to ask if they are, because I don't want to go out with someone who already has someone or is married still. I've gone through that before and it was a nightmare. No more. Just single, divorced, or widowed only in my book...
 Cattilac
Joined: 4/3/2006
Msg: 21
Why do people ask why you're single?
Posted: 12/23/2006 9:33:43 PM
To me it depends on "how" they ask.......if it's friendly curiousity then I'll usually just say I prefer it that way.

But some people say it in a way that seems almost designed to make the other person uncomfortable - it's like they're really asking "so what's wrong with you?". And then, I tend to get defensive, however silly that may be.

Probably some people mean it as a compliment and others are trying to figure out what really is wrong with you.
 adnnxsei
Joined: 9/30/2006
Msg: 22
Why do people ask why you're single?
Posted: 12/24/2006 7:17:39 PM
Nobody asks me why I'm single.

I never thought about it, but is there a reason why you all get asked and I don't? Nobody ever inquires about my marital status, except on some government form. I know a lot of people at work still think I'm married because I never made any kind of public announcement about my divorce, but nobody ever asks.
 downforit2007
Joined: 12/12/2006
Msg: 23
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Why do people ask why you're single?
Posted: 12/24/2006 7:37:27 PM
People ask me why I'm single because they like butting in on my personal life, which is NONE OF THEIR FRIGGIN BUSINESS! *Ahem* Anyway, When I'm 40, I'll probably be the only single guy left out of all my friends and I get to laugh at their hardships of having to deal with child support payments and alimony.
 ^^Batgirl^^
Joined: 10/11/2006
Msg: 24
Why do people ask why you're single?
Posted: 12/25/2006 8:20:56 PM
I have received emails asking why I am still single and on this site (won't get into specifics, but some continue the email in a tone that indicates they are looking for sex...sigh).

I rarely date...cannot recall the last one it has been so long. I am patient though and time has a way of working things out.

Do I like being single? Not always, but it beats settling and being unhappy.

One day, I will be on this site for the forums only as I will be in a relationship that both of us will value.

I am single because I am single.

^^BG^^
 kame
Joined: 11/7/2006
Msg: 25
Why do people ask why you're single?
Posted: 12/25/2006 8:41:05 PM
Iv been asked that question alot of times and most who question it are people that are having a bunch of problems in their marriage as if the answers not obvious..Id rather live being single then being in a relationship with a bunch of problem's and stress.
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