| Being shy
Posted: 9/18/2006 8:25:54 PM | Just wondering what r some ways to get over shyness? See i'm only shy at first but its getting the courage to start up conversation that i'm stuggling with. Any idea's? | |
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| Being shy
Posted: 9/18/2006 8:33:14 PM | Come up some good conversation, little things like asking them what they like to do for fun, what type of goals they have. I used to be way more shy then I am now, but then I realized everybody gets nervous, it's just that some people don't show it as much. Don't worry so much about what other people think, just make sure you true to yourself. | |
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| Being shy
Posted: 9/18/2006 8:33:16 PM | When the right time comes, you will get over it yourself. I was painfully shy in high school. I blushed even when a guy talked to me. Yes, I was that shy! It was aweful. Then, I started becoming a little more open in college. Now, I'm moderate. Although, I'm still an introvert. I don't think I'll ever get over my shyness fully, but I've definitely become less shy.
You will be too. As you grow older and learn how to face the world, you will lose the shyness bit by bit. When you become older, you do not have the luxury of being shy anymore. Too many responsibilites to have time to be shy. Give it time.
Or do what some people do. Get up one morning and do something utterly random.......like going to a complete stranger and talk to them about something (whatever that may be).
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| Being shy
Posted: 9/18/2006 9:15:04 PM | Thats a hard one, I'm a shy guy at times, sometimes my mood shifts though, and I am the exact opposite....which I like 
I think of it like this, whats the point of being shy? Especially with someone ya never talked to before, they are just as nervous as you, if not more. Play on that if you have to, tease a little, get them to open up and before ya know it, the awkwardness is gone. | |
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| Being shy
Posted: 9/18/2006 9:17:29 PM | DRink a lot of beer MAN
Or, picture everyone in their underwear
Or, make sure no matter how loud someone else is talking you talk even louder | |
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| Being shy
Posted: 9/18/2006 9:57:22 PM | Sometimes being shy, can be to your advantage, giving you more time to think, and explore situations. I don't think there is any one answer, to resolving the issue of shyness, for any given individual. Because we are all shy at times, for example: some of us will not speak or sing in front of large groups of people. Some, just can't seem to approach the oppisite sex and start conversations very easy, and so on !!!
I really think you should Check Out: www.ShyUnited.com, or www.ShyAndFree.com, I'm 100% Positive, that it well be to your benifit. ............Good Luck.........Benz ! | |
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| Being shy
Posted: 9/18/2006 10:33:42 PM | | Try being MORE interested in others. | |
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| Being shy
Posted: 9/18/2006 10:37:34 PM | The trick to getting over being shy is to have someone in your group who isn't shy to attract attention. Then, send that person away when they've hooked someone of interest.
Optionally, going to interest groups and having/wearing something unique might spark the attention of someone you might be interested in. Eye contact, smiling, and looking approachable is key. | |
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| Being shy
Posted: 9/18/2006 10:54:57 PM | some might say......face your fears......and practice......during shopping....in the super market......strike up a conversation with anyone....the produce man....produce laldy......smile and just say hi.....
personally, I am shy but don't tell anyone....I smile most of the time when I am shopping and I do get into those situations where conversations come out of the blue....when you least expect it.....guess everyone thinks you are smiling at them......asking myself questions over the strawberries....or the herbs.....and find out they are being answered by some pretty nice people.....kids come on over and talk too.....then Mom....I come up with the funniest comments which are overheard by many...lol.....and conversations begin naturally...:)
so it might be better to find a comfortable activity or environment.....you don't go looking for it.....it just happens......keep smiling......remember we are all individuals....no one is better than the other.....we all all equals.......some are rich.....just people......poor....just people......some are smart and some not so smart like me.....well, I do have my moments....so touch someones life every day.....smile and just say hi.....be kind......
I love seniors they are just great......strike up a conversation...and learn something...soon you are swapping recipies for bread.....lol.....or, or finding out they have a singer sewing machine for sale.......wow...seniors have it happening.......strike up conversations.....so many people love to talk.....so many people are very lonely......:))
so you will slowly develop the courage to start conversations young man it is inevitable....a matter of time......go and grab a coffee.....talk with who ever.......hockey arena......dentist office...can't shut those people up.....usually with a mouth full of whatever.......have fun with it...don't get serious....but be a gentleman, be positive, need not be critical of anyone....some people talk, some don't....in all cases...smile....be polite.....be happy....don't let any situation frustrate you.......:)
get dressed up.....make yourself look good.....looking clean and tidy....smelling great and well groomed......and go and have a starbucks -grab several magazines.....last time I went.....had a great conversation with an elderly lady and young man at the same time......have fun...be friendly and courteous......care what people say....everyone is important......
Of course one could say go and pick up the book by Dale Carnegie, "How to win friends and influence people" .....lol..... of course you will become successful after you read it 50 times.....:))
Anyway....wishing you the very best.....don't beat yourself up over any mistakes.....have some fun with it....okay??? :)
Be the best you can be! Happy fishing...:) 
0:)
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| Being shy
Posted: 9/19/2006 12:28:15 AM | | Just remember that regardless of what you do or say, nobody will care by the next day; unless you wake up next to them, and that's the general idea... | |
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| Being shy
Posted: 9/19/2006 12:56:39 AM |
Sometimes being shy, can be to your advantage, giving you more time to think, and explore situations. I don't think there is any one answer, to resolving the issue of shyness, for any given individual. Because we are all shy at times, for example: some of us will not speak or sing in front of large groups of people. Some, just can't seem to approach the oppisite sex and start conversations very easy, and so on !!!
I really think you should Check Out: www.ShyUnited.com, or www.ShyAndFree.com, I'm 100% Positive, that it well be to your benifit. ............Good Luck.........Benz !
benzjaguar, that was great advice. Not to mention well thought out  | |
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| Being shy
Posted: 9/19/2006 2:27:30 AM | Hi l0vehobag,
Why .........Thank You !.........Benz ! | |
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| Being shy
Posted: 9/19/2006 4:05:39 AM | Awesome question, someone just helped me answer this question yesterday. Here is Rule number 16:
-- Put yourself out of your comfort zone by talking to women out of your league. Whether under or over. Get used to small talk, and introducing yourself to strangers. Else you'll be alone, or you'll settle -- either way you'll be miserable. To meet women, if she's sitting alone reading, ask her if it's interesting. If she's standing in line at the grocery store, point out a product she's buying that you enjoy using or think is worthwhile. Find small things to break the ice, then introduce yourself after she responds. Gentle, women are cautious and rightefully so -- be gentle and interested, and chances are if she's single and receptive she'll be interested to. If not, that's ok.
And rule 20:
Do not use the internet as a crutch because you're shy or introverted. Learn to be social. Again, introduce yourself to strangers even if they reject you. Your ego may not like it and you may feel like ending yourself, but rinse, and repeat -- keep doing it. Again the key here is making eye contact, maintain that eye contact for 3 seconds or so from the moment she sees you, then smile -- then go back to doing whatever you were doing. You've established familiarity. A few minutes later make your way over to her -- unless she's already made her way to you -- and ask her "How is your night going?" -- Good? Ask her if she's enjoying herself. She'll likely ask you in return if she's interested. If she's shy, you'll know by her response to the next question. Introduce yourself, and tell her you'd like to buy her a drink and chat briefly. Keep things light and just ask her some questions. Originality can be useful here, but it's not necessary. People are usually receptive and "want" to meet other people. If a woman sits next to you at a bar when there are plenty of open seats -- she's interested. If a woman stands next to you, when there are plenty of open spots, she's interested. If a woman looks at you a few times, she's interested. Interest doesn't mean you're "in" -- it means you have an opportunity. If you don't drink, or do bars -- the same general questions apply to all situations. So you're at the park, or a shopping store, or a library, or a coffee shop, or perhaps a group activity in your community -- talk about commonalities, things you observe around you. Nice weather? Sure, it's nice. I've been enjoying it and wanted to get a little exercise! Walkings good! Oh, so you're at the coffee shop -- well I like it here, I can study or read and still have a social environment -- being around people just makes me feel good, so I like to do work at the shop! How about it? | |
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| Being shy
Posted: 9/19/2006 7:46:40 AM | "he is 1 year older than you, and you're giving him life lessons?"
I did not know that, when I posted my response. I don't look at profiles to post a response. I do not have that kind of time.
Besides, I'm younger, so what? I could relate to him more than you ever would. So, keep your opinion to yourself and stop forcing it down into my throat. This thread is not mine. Direct your opinions towards the OP.
Seamless: If you do not stop your stupid, annoying tactics with me, I'll complain you to the moderator, get it? | |
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| Being shy
Posted: 9/19/2006 8:18:13 AM | Besides, I'm younger, so what? I could relate to him more than you ever would. So, keep your opinion to yourself and stop forcing it down into my throat. This thread is not mine. Direct your opinions towards the OP.
Chaztity,
I agree with you 100%............!!! I have been reading your posts on here, and I think you are very intellectual. You just keep on giving advise, don't let those kind of people get to you.
Sorry Folks, if I got of the subject here, but Chaztity is not taking emails from people in my age group, and just wanted to post this in her support ! Benz ! | |
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| Being shy
Posted: 9/19/2006 9:47:19 AM | Ceno, now you're just being unreasonable. None of us checks all the details. People post requesting opinions from outsiders who can't possibly know all the details, so they'll get manufacturated answers based on conceptual mental constructs.
Lay off the lady son. | |
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| Being shy
Posted: 9/19/2006 9:52:35 AM | | Picture the worst possible thing that can happen- are you able to continue breathing? if so, then just dive in and do it! The worst possible scenario you imagine is usually just that- what YOU imagine. If there is no doubt in your mind that you will survive, then do it. And if it doesn't have the most perfect outcome always look at what you did as an accomplished step in a learning process. A good motto to use is "what doesn't kill us makes us stronger". And it's true. Having said that- I still have a shy side. But I chalk that up to simply not always having something to say! :) | |
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| Fear and lack of confidence
Posted: 9/19/2006 10:21:55 AM | Hi
I use to fear ladies and felt very uncomfortable.
But did not understand it was my problem.
I lacked confidence in myself and was so insecure.
I have learned to be myself and let go of most of my fears.
I know a good healthy relationship can only happen once I have a good relationship with myself?
What I want and need now is far from what I excpected as a young man.
Sex is not love, sex can be an expression of our love.
Relationships are built on honesty.
How can I expect any one to love me if I do not love myself?
Fear holds us back from being ourselves.
What I seak now is far deeper than any thing I was use to before.
As I expose myself more I find I get stronger in myself.
Each weakness each fear faced makes me a stronger healthier person.
Which means I have more to offer some one else.
In being on this site am I selling myself as some thing from the out side looking in?
Or some thing deeper than that looking out?
Each physical challenge I take on, am I searching myself or facing my fears?
In a material world you can often loose site of good healthy spiritual values?
My motive for dong things today, are they things I want to do or things I feel I must do?
Each I grow in myself Ihave more to offer.
It is nothing to do about physical attraction but about emtoional desires.
I want and need more balance in my life.
I want and need to be more at peace with myself?
In valuing myself I am able to value others more.
True balance is when you fulfill both physical and emotional needs.
Emotional needs being the most important of them all.
The more I share of myself the more I will get back.
Regards.
Dave | |
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| Being shy
Posted: 9/19/2006 11:30:18 AM | Start talking about the big three: movies, literature, and music. After that, anything goes! | |
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| Being shy
Posted: 9/19/2006 11:38:35 AM |
Just wondering what r some ways to get over shyness? See i'm only shy at first but its getting the courage to start up conversation that i'm stuggling with. Any idea's?
When you read this post, take all of your clothes off, run outside, around the corner, hop a fence, go through a schoolyard during lunch hour, through the female locker room at the gym, and run back home. | |
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| Being shy
Posted: 9/19/2006 11:53:36 AM | With me, the more attractive the girl I meet, the more nervous I get.
What worked for me was going out with several women who I was not even remotely attracted to.
Of course you should let them know that you only want to date them to get used to dating and overcome your shyness. You would be surprised at how easily women will agree to dating you without any pressure of it possibly turning into a relationship. | |
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| Being shy
Posted: 9/19/2006 11:59:28 AM | Oh I totally get nervous around beautiful women. They don't need to know that though.  | |
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| Being shy
Posted: 9/19/2006 12:30:44 PM | Why not practice or try a test run of approaching women at one of the PoF events, like the Lock & Key Parties?
Everyone knows that they're going to be approached by everyone else, as the Lock & Key party does force you to mingle if you want to win prizes. The context for approaching someone is already there (see if your key matches her lock to win a prize)... and if your key doesn't open her lock, at least you've had to the opportunity to break the ice. And then you take it from there.
Give it a try, practice makes perfect!
TD | |
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| Being shy
Posted: 9/19/2006 12:37:27 PM | lol, getting over being shy is kinda like a leap of faith, it's not like you know where you're landing, or if it'll be safe but you just do it. I used to be terrible i wouldn't talk to anyone cuz i was really concerned about what they would think. Now all i do is tell myself that i'm a great person and no matter what i say or do will change that. Try it and get back to me :D  | |
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| Being shy
Posted: 9/19/2006 12:39:52 PM | | Wow, lock and key party... sounds very sexual LMAO, how come none of this cool stuff happened back in NS..... well i can understand LOL | |
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