| Would you... (for women)
Posted: 3/17/2005 5:21:21 PM | put your last child up for adoption and then get permanently sterilized??
Wouldn't you be horrified by that thought... "you can't have anymore children, but your last one isn't your child anymore"
Just wondering everyone's opinion | |
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| Would you... (for women)
Posted: 3/17/2005 7:31:03 PM | | I wouldn't. Why are you asking this question? Any particular reason? | |
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| Would you... (for women)
Posted: 3/17/2005 10:25:14 PM | uh,yeah, the thought is "horrifying"... re: giving up my child and being "permanently sterilized" cuz i coulndt REPLACE the child i had to give up?!?? that idea itself is terrible...i am P.S.'d...but even thinking i would freak cuz i couldnt replace him...? (am i missing something here....help)!    | |
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| Would you... (for women)
Posted: 3/18/2005 8:31:55 AM | | Truthfully, I am facing this particular circumstance in my life right now. | |
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| Would you... (for women)
Posted: 3/18/2005 12:36:03 PM | ooowwwwchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
why do you feel you must put the child up>> if you can look after the first why not the next child?? | |
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| Would you... (for women)
Posted: 3/18/2005 6:05:02 PM | | oh, there's a whole mess going on right now. I was just wondering what ppl thought of the idea. I have two kids right now w/ third on the way. | |
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| Would you... (for women)
Posted: 3/18/2005 6:07:33 PM | Okay if you can't handle a 3rd and put it up for adoption, I don't see a huge problem with that... Don't believe in it myself, but don't knock people for their decisions...
My question though, is why do you HAVE to be Fixed afterwards??? | |
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| Would you... (for women)
Posted: 3/18/2005 6:12:59 PM | | I've been considering it for awhile actually. After I had my second I wanted to get it done but then thought "No, maybe when things get better for me, I might want a third". But the third came a little too soon... that is why I'm thinking about getting it done now. | |
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| Would you... (for women)
Posted: 3/20/2005 5:41:17 AM | | I wouldn't. I have only 1 child, cannot have anymore..however if I had been blessed with more than one, I would be raising them as well.. | |
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| Would you... (for women)
Posted: 3/20/2005 3:50:21 PM | | I understand your reasoning, but do you think you still might want the 3rd??? You should really sit down with the people that matter most to you and discuss this... Also seek Medical Advice on it... | |
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| Would you... (for women)
Posted: 3/20/2005 4:50:42 PM | i coud never do that, i just had my first child 4 days before halloween, and i could never give him up or any other children when i have more, if you can lay down and have sex and you know what might happen, so if u cant deal with that then dont have sex, all your gonna do is hurt the child in the long run because he/she will grow up wondering why mommy and daddy didnt want me but wanted my brothers/sister. that child will grow up with head issues. | |
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| Would you... (for women)
Posted: 3/23/2005 4:43:57 AM | | i could never do that to my kids....but i won't put you down for the decion that you make | |
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alura2
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Joined: 3/18/2004
Msg: 15 | |
| Would you... (for women)
Posted: 3/23/2005 3:40:55 PM | omg this is sad...
do you have any idea on how much its gonna hurt you either way??
you MUST talk to a councellor about this..you will have such tremendous guilt if you give that baby up.You will look at your 2...and know you just gave up thier bother sister...how do you expect to live with yourself ??
you have every right to do this..but make the smart decision..are you too advanced to abort ( not that that is the best thing to do..but it saves you alot of heartache )
if you feel 100% you cant take this baby in your life when it comes..then bless it with a good life..give it to soemone who wil llove it and cherish it ok??
good luck.......... | |
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| Would you... (for women)
Posted: 3/23/2005 3:47:30 PM | I am actually about to burst! And yes I will bless my child with a good life and have an open adoption so she (it's a girl) knows who her mother is.
My doctor recommended a tubal and I've actually been considering it because I cannot use any other form of b/c besides for Depo (causes weight gain like crazy).
Thank you for your support Alura... in my situation I feel that adoption would be the best choice. I've just been having a hard time accepting that.
Thanks everyone for your replies. | |
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alura2
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Joined: 3/18/2004
Msg: 17 | |
| Would you... (for women)
Posted: 3/23/2005 3:57:31 PM | yes
i know first hand hun...one of my pals went through soemthing similar...she never had kids..didnt really want it..but went through with it anyways..
she had the baby for maybe a week and went pyhco..the baby wouldnt stop crying once and one night she got so upset and started smacking the baby and screaming at it.Her bf saw this and called her family..
social sevices got involved and she made the decision ot give up the baby right then and there...
i guess she couldnt hanlde it after all..but..we know that baby girl is doing well..is flourishing with her family..and my pal got herself tied as well.
you see..she couldnt make pu her mind nor thought she couldnt give it up..so she did the mom thing for a week and realized the pressure and she COULD NOT HANDLE IT.
no one blamed her and we were happy that she gave that little girl a great home after all.. | |
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| Would you... (for women)
Posted: 3/24/2005 11:29:37 AM | Ummm sorry I might be coming out harsh but honest. Let me ask you this, if you were unsure about having a third why do it? If you thought having another child would either fix the problems in your life, of course it doesnt. Is it that your in a bad marriage and thinking that another child would help? Forgive me if I am being very forward, but you posted it. There has always got to be a reason why we do things in life.
But myself I could not do it. I have raised both my boys who are 9 now, twins. Both who are Autistic. There momma left them when they were 1 and alot of people asked how I was going to do it. Well they are my kids, they are the reason why I am here. Now I am not a huge religius fan or anything. But the man upstairs would never give us anything we could not handle. I live by that everyday, and it keeps me going.........
But I wish you the best of luck on your decision, I would not want to be in your shoes having to make this decision. Good luck..
Rick | |
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| Would you... (for women)
Posted: 3/24/2005 3:03:31 PM | Okay, I guess I did get myself into a little fix posting this question here. I thought twice before I decided to post. I was pretty much looking for a yes or no answer (but knew most would say no). Sometimes when your having a good time, you forget about protection (I know, how can someone "forget") but it does happen.
Thanks for everyones replies on the matter... | |
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| Would you... (for women)
Posted: 3/24/2005 10:04:45 PM | i've had the only child i ever want to have and when i started having health problems with my birth control pills i considered having my tubes tied. i chose not to have them tied, not because i want more children, but because i'm afraid i won't feel like a "complete" woman. not that i'd feel like a man... i just did some research and found that the body goes through a dramatic change when you mess with mother nature too early in life and i didn't want to go through that... so, in answer to your question... not only would i not have MY tubes tied, but i could never give my only son up for adoption for any reason whatsoever.
i know you're in a totally different situation and completely understand your thought process. if i were in your shoes i would definitely have my tubes tied but i would not give any of my children up for adoption.
just out of curiosity... and you don't have to answer if this is too personal... but where are the babies father(s) in all this? do you receive any financial support for your children? is that what's got you scared into putting one of your children up for adoption? i'd hope you'd be able to see the sunshine through the clouds before taking such drastic measures. even with an open adoption, i don't think it would be healthy for you, your children or the child you give up in the long run... especially if you are fully capable of loving them all unconditionally. the one you give up may always wonder why you sacrificed her and not one of the others and vise versa. | |
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| Would you... (for women)
Posted: 3/25/2005 3:18:47 AM | I think you should if you want to.
There are many people who would love to adopt a child. | |
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Rencen
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Joined: 1/14/2005
Msg: 22 | |
| Would you... (for women)
Posted: 3/25/2005 3:51:25 AM | Just because you give up a child for the chance of a better life, doesn't mean that he/she will love you for that later.
How do your children feel seeing their mom pregnant and then losing their sister/brother to another home? (Think long term as well)
A person I know came from that type environment. You won't like his response.
I would suggest you get your tubes tied inorder to avoid a re-occurrance.
Sorry for being so direct, but I am speaking as a friend to someone who's life was created by two people and raised by another couple who then divorced when he was young (pre-teen). What a mess! | |
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| Would you... (for women)
Posted: 3/25/2005 4:44:27 AM |
Sometimes when your having a good time, you forget about protection (I know, how can someone "forget") but it does happen.
I hate that you're being faced with such a life altering decision... but "forgetting" about protection is probably not the cause of this whole ordeal.
Unfortunately this is a decision that only you can make and I'm sure that already being a mom makes it even that much more difficult - - tho you seem to already have your mind made up. I just can't help but think how pitiful it is when we take a LIFE for granted. Someone in these posts actually suggested abortion as an option for not wanting a baby? I'm sorry but that's the same as saying it's a form of birth control. C'mon people!!! We all make poor decisions sometimes... and we all have regrets... but this is a life we're talking about...not just your every day "consequence" THINK ABOUT IT!
I hope you have talked to the father of baby about this or that you will talk to him before making such a decision. I also hope you are at peace with whatever decision you make. BUT please - - please - - please if you do make the decision to give this baby away... do get "fixed" ... there are too many babies out there with adoption services and/or foster care now. I wouldn't rely on birth control if you've been forced to make this big of a decision. | |
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| Would you... (for women)
Posted: 3/25/2005 11:28:23 AM | badkitty: I do not recieve financial support from either of my two children's fathers. They are not participating in their life at this moment. The closest I have is my daughter's father, who calls every week to see how we're doing. I don't see any money from him.
kychick: The father of this new baby is all for adoption. He is in a bad financial situation right now and doesn't have the courage to care for a child. He has been here for me, in a way, by helping with the adoption plan and talking to me about my worries.
I have thought this through and even imagined myself caring for an infant with the other two kids around. I see nothing but chaos! Yes, forgetting to use a condom wasn't the reason this happened... it was the usual "I can't have children" that I heard from the father. (why do I believe such bull?)
When I first found out I was pg, I did consider abortion but I knew that wasn't the best choice. My mother went through a lot of abortions and messed her insides up, I'm an only child because of it.
The father of this child doesn't have the mental capibility to care for a child and I don't have the financial resources... I'm using what's available already to raise my other two. | |
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| Would you... (for women)
Posted: 3/25/2005 1:57:05 PM | | It appears you've made your decision then. I'm sure it does take courage to make the best decision for the baby. I'll say a prayer for ya... I do hope that you have (or will find) peace with your decision. I'm glad ya didn't choose abortion - the baby doesn't deserve that. I hope everything works out for the best... | |
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