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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > when do i tell her i have hepatitis c?      Home login  
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 80greg80
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 1
when do i tell her i have hepatitis c?Page 1 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
Ok, so I have Hepatitis C which I received through a blood transfusion as a kid.

Many people are misinformed about HEP C and how it's transmitted. I've had it for over 20 years and feel fine.
My doctor and the websites say that sexual transmission is rare and that I should really only worry about blood to blood contact.

My questions are:

At what point do I tell the person I'm dating?
How do I break the news without scaring her off?
How do I explain that it's not a typical STD and that with condom use, the risk is practically zero?

Ughhh, this is so frustrating!!
 Steven02151
Joined: 10/18/2005
Msg: 2
when do i tell her i have hepatitis c?
Posted: 9/23/2006 10:17:46 AM
how about....right now????
 everrett04
Joined: 8/20/2006
Msg: 3
when do i tell her i have hepatitis c?
Posted: 9/23/2006 10:18:11 AM
Anytime before you have at risk activities with her. Anything else is a pretty deep betrayal.
 Sactowndude
Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 4
when do i tell her i have hepatitis c?
Posted: 9/23/2006 10:39:20 AM
Anybody that has a communicable disease(AIDS,Hepatitis,Herpes,etc) needs to tell their partner up front,you are a selfish person if you don't.If she is understanding then you have a "keeper",if she is disgusted then that's her problem.
My grandfather died from Hep C(blood transfusion) and I know how devastating it can be.
 auntymar
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 5
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when do i tell her i have hepatitis c?
Posted: 9/23/2006 11:03:43 AM
Start with honesty and be up front.
Do some research for some good information on Hepatitis (all the kinds). Print it off.
It need not be the topic of discussion on date number one as that is the introduction date. But certainly within the first few dates. Take the information with you and tell her you have something that you would like to share.
It is best to go with the information in hand so that nerves or uncertainty get downplayed.
It is indeed a disease- but the informed is the only way to overcome. By printing off the information on all the types- whomever you discuss this at the very least will walk away informed. It will also allow a discussion on the misconceptions of Hepatitis to develop. Most people could not give you an accurate desciption of the different types-- so their answers are the "worst symptoms of each applied to all". Ask her questions along the way too. How does this make you feel? Do you need more time to absorb any of this? Do you need more information? Is this answering any questions you may have?
You may find that some will still abandon you. Those intended to be your friends or more will come through.
Best of luck.
 Bendilin
Joined: 5/6/2005
Msg: 6
when do i tell her i have hepatitis c?
Posted: 9/23/2006 11:09:22 AM
Not only is it inhumane and just ****ing disgusting NOT to tell someone about any form of STD, regardless if the chance of giving it to someone else is "only" 0.01%, in a lot of places it's illegal NOT to tell your partner.

Anyone who doesn't tell their partner about any STD when they know they have it should have their balls/clit cut off with a rusty knife. You can't believe how much this issue means and affects me and hundreds of thousands of people. I had an encounter with someone who didn't tell me they had HIV, and for the next few months I went through ****ing hell. I also had to get testing for Hep C, gonorrhea, chlamydia... it was such an awful experience and no one should have to go through it. I'm extremely lucky to of come out of it clean.

And if there was ever a chance that I did get something ( Besides the curable stuff ), I would NEVER have sex again. Ever. Even if I took all the precautions and steps to prevent spreading it, those things are not 100% fail proof, and I would NEVER risk spreading anything to anyone else, no matter how good the odds were.

You have every right to worry about someone leaving you/not wanting to have sex with you if you tell them you have Hep C. But you have no right not to tell them before doing anything even remotely intimate, regardless of what you want.
 Blue_Eyes25
Joined: 7/4/2006
Msg: 7
when do i tell her i have hepatitis c?
Posted: 9/23/2006 11:20:14 AM
Umm...this guy deleted his profile like less then 5 minutes after posting this thread!!!
 bedlog
Joined: 1/25/2006
Msg: 8
when do i tell her i have hepatitis c?
Posted: 9/23/2006 11:21:18 AM
Tell her now!!!!!!You are potentially screwing with someone else's life. Let's say you are 4 weeks into the relationship and not have had hot wild monkey sex. You two are walking in the park/bowling alley/bar/market and you spontaneously blurt out "I have hep c!!". How do you think your relationship will progress from there? Especially, and I say especially, since you have had it since you were a wee one. It's not like you were tested in August and you are waiting for the results. You have a excellent opportunity to establish a positive or negative trust issue, depending upon how long or soon you wait to tell her.
 churpy
Joined: 9/5/2006
Msg: 9
when do i tell her i have hepatitis c?
Posted: 9/23/2006 12:21:13 PM
I have a friend that I love dearly, I loved her hubby too, but, then he got sick, and then, she found out that he had Hep C, since the 80's...imagine not telling your wife, and holding such a huge secret for years...they had been together for 16 years...was I ever mad that he had put my buddies life in danger....but, she got over him faster than she did when the cat died! She was angry!
 nosoup4u
Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 10
when do i tell her i have hepatitis c?
Posted: 9/23/2006 12:32:13 PM
I think that i must put this on the dumb question of the month chart and see how it ranks sepy 31st.
Hep C is a blood born pathogen that lives in the liver. Not as serious as HIV providing the person living with the disease has a healthy life style but nonetheless, it is very serious. It has been known to live outside the human body for up to two weeks. It's not that you have to broadcast it right away to everyone you meet, but, if you feel there is potential with the person, as far as dating goes, then it is your responsibility to let them know. I find honesty admirable and not something that turns me off.
 moodsacoustic2004
Joined: 7/24/2006
Msg: 11
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when do i tell her i have hepatitis c?
Posted: 9/23/2006 12:44:04 PM
that's a no brainer, now would be the appropriate time to speak up about it, it's only fair to her. j.c.
 rainbowfishh
Joined: 4/20/2006
Msg: 12
when do i tell her i have hepatitis c?
Posted: 9/23/2006 12:57:21 PM
tell her as soon as possible or take the risk of
her just disappearing one day... as that is something major and
can effect her choice to be with you or not.

and you also may run into trouble if you tell her too late
because she can sue the chit outta you for not telling her.

I would.
 dreamstate123
Joined: 4/30/2006
Msg: 13
when do i tell her i have hepatitis c?
Posted: 9/23/2006 5:31:25 PM
Immediately! ew
 sum1reel
Joined: 6/5/2005
Msg: 14
when do i tell her i have hepatitis c?
Posted: 9/23/2006 5:37:10 PM
this is a GOOD reason why nobody should be too eager to go to bed with somebody until matters like these are clarified......some pple are honest and tell about, but who knows how many pple don't ever do!................and of course, there are those who don't even know they have it!
 PlaynWithDummies
Joined: 9/18/2006
Msg: 15
when do i tell her i have hepatitis c?
Posted: 9/23/2006 5:57:11 PM
You tell her immediately!!!!!!!!!!!

That is like saying, oh I love you but Im sorta married to someone else.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 16
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when do i tell her i have hepatitis c?
Posted: 9/23/2006 6:02:34 PM
I have to say that you should be telling her right up front... the sooner the better... as in NOW.

I was exposed to HepB by a *friend* who wasn't completely honest with me about what he was doing when not with me. To say I was pissed is an understatment.

If it were me, I would want to know. Wouldn't scare me off... but NOT being told upfront would smack of dishonesty.
 dreamstate123
Joined: 4/30/2006
Msg: 17
when do i tell her i have hepatitis c?
Posted: 9/23/2006 6:03:03 PM
Well when it's something this serious the longer you wait to tell someone the worse it will be when you do say something. If someone waited till i fell in love with them to tell me they had aids, I'd freak just because of the amount of time they took. I'd prefer to find out asap.
 ~Country Sugar~
Joined: 8/6/2006
Msg: 18
when do i tell her i have hepatitis c?
Posted: 9/23/2006 6:04:21 PM
Tell her you have it right away, and offer to give her reading material on it ..

If she is not willing to date someone with hep c at least you'll know right away instead of later when deeper feelings have formed..
 LoonyTunz
Joined: 8/11/2006
Msg: 19
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when do i tell her i have hepatitis c?
Posted: 9/23/2006 6:11:31 PM
Uhhhh because even with low risk it CAN be transmitted sexually, or even if she should grab your toothbrush in the morning or "touch-up" with your razor. If you have any respect for this person you will be upfront right away, and discuss the implications without sugar-coatting. She has the right to make informed decisions for herself.
I understand that you likely expect some some negative response from her based on lack of understanding, so visit some Hep C sites with her and explain what it really means, let her think on it discuss it with her doctor if need be and let it go from there. Hiding something like this couldn't be good for any relationship.
Remember by bringing it up before you need to you get the chance to share your views and likely bonus points for honesty.
 itsmeinco
Joined: 5/18/2006
Msg: 20
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when do i tell her i have hepatitis c?
Posted: 9/23/2006 7:39:35 PM
Right after you've had unprotected anal sex with her would probably be a really baaaad time.
 rollencode3
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 21
when do i tell her i have hepatitis c?
Posted: 9/23/2006 7:42:41 PM
Wait until she has it, then blame her for it Or tell her now
 Broken Doll Parts
Joined: 6/21/2005
Msg: 22
when do i tell her i have hepatitis c?
Posted: 9/23/2006 8:36:00 PM
Oh my......


Ummmmm, any time you begin getting "intimate" physically I think would be a roundabout good time....


That's personal information you certainly probably don't necessarily want to tell everyone (yet you posted on a thread... hummm).... Anyway, point is, you don't have to tell everyone all the time.

BUT if you want to be intimate with someone else, I think it might be a good idea to say something - not telling them, only for them to find out later I think may have terrible consequences.....


If it was me, I'd want to know before anything further happened, anything less would be unacceptable. The decision should be mine if I chose to continue or not.... I don't look favorably on those who try to blind me and make decisions for me without me even knowing....
 shamrock2010
Joined: 9/15/2006
Msg: 23
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when do i tell her i have hepatitis c?
Posted: 9/23/2006 8:49:35 PM
TELL HER YESTERDAY!

Hep C is a dmaging illness and cannot be played with. You must come to the realization that you cannot have conventional physical relationships with that secret.

Be upfront.
 Jon_Duan06
Joined: 6/23/2006
Msg: 24
when do i tell her i have hepatitis c?
Posted: 9/25/2006 7:24:43 AM
tell her everything there is to it bro, tell her to go research it if she wishes, if she can't handle it IT"S NOT YOUR PROB
 Leeanne
Joined: 10/14/2005
Msg: 25
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when do i tell her i have hepatitis c?
Posted: 9/25/2006 7:31:21 AM
I think that you can see that by what most have said here, that it is extremely important to be up front and honest from the onset. Playing with peoples health is not something to be taken lightly. It is the right of your partners to know anything and everything they must know in order to be safe and healthy in your relationship. Educate them and help them to understand that your life is not to be shunned but understood.
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