| I don't want to fall in love again! instead...
Posted: 9/29/2006 7:37:58 AM | Yeah, you read that right. I don't want to "fall in love" -- that initial rush of infatuation that tends to blind one to reality, the whole "thrill of the hunt" and subsequent letdown thing, who needs it? I mean, sure it's fun, til you wake up and get yer keester kicked. Been there, done that, got the shot-glass.
I want to go straight to the "old jeans/flannel jammies" kind of love. To see each other for who we are, accept it, no jockeying for control, no "OMG they didn't call, what does it mean? They did call, what does it mean???" panics... Just mates, as in friends, partners, that sort of "of course I love you, goes without saying" feeling. And along with having those special occasions on a mutually satisfying basis, being able to flop in sweats and no makeup and STILL feel loved.
Dare I compare it, the kind of love we parents have for our children from before they're even born, and that still stays strong even when we drive each other bonkers. I dunno about "unconditional," I think that's a pipe-dream for most folks: we all have our funky bits, expectations and places we'll rub -- more like that we can consistently be compassionate and positive in dealing with those "conditions" when they inevitably arise.
So -- is it possible, or are we just not wired that way? | |
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| I don't want to fall in love again! instead...
Posted: 9/29/2006 7:40:46 AM | yes its possible to find
but not until you stop looking
to others to validate you or
your worth... or deem you loveable.
In other words: learn to love and respect yourself
and the rest will follow. | |
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| I don't want to fall in love again! instead...
Posted: 9/29/2006 7:46:07 AM | OP: We all say this and we all say that about love, but the bottom line is....when it hits, it can hit pretty hard and all of our 'fantasies' and 'morals' etc go out the window.  | |
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| I don't want to fall in love again! instead...
Posted: 9/29/2006 7:51:37 AM | Well said Rainbowfishh!
But I will say this: I'm not looking to fall in love...I don't want to fall into anything...falling sounds like we are out of control. I will grow in love. I believe if you are open to it, and not looking for it...it will find you. I believe if you become what you want to attract...it will find you. It's almost like..."if you build it...they will come."
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| I don't want to fall in love again! instead...
Posted: 9/29/2006 8:54:50 AM |
RainbowFish: maybe its time to change your profession from slave and fool...
(what your profile currently says)
Rainbow, I hafta say that I generally really like the things you say! I like your take on how the way we term/define ourselves can create our self/reality. As ever, I appreciate your 2cents. And y'know, you're right, I have shaken that "slave" mentality and am no longer thinking in terms of having someone else "complete me" (stick a fork in me! I'm done! lol) so I am going to drop that. Thanks.
However, I'm keeping "goddess/fool" -- the "goddess" part is more tongue-in-cheek anyway: I can't help my fabulosity, lol! And I actually like/own being a fool: I don't use that word in the negative "stupid" connotation, but rather the idea of the "holy innocent" or "journeyer" -- heaven knows I have my own silly and/or witless spots and am always looking/learning, so I'm comfortable with that description...
Here's my question(s) in return: Can someone be a realist and still be a sometimes-romantic dreamer? How does this detail in self-definition tie-in with eschewing the "fall" into love for "growth" into love instead? If being loved is a form of validation, is wanting love as simple/crass as seeking validation? And if you are a whole person (or as close as one crazy person can functionally get, lol), is wanting the validation of partnership necessarily a bad thing?
Thanks RF! and others of course! | |
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