| got my heartbroken by online cheater
Posted: 9/29/2006 12:35:23 PM | | Tell me if Iam wrong,but I have been dating a guy for almost 4mos,and thought things were great,then I find out he had messaged a19yr old girl on here,he had messaged a few others a month ago,I caught him,when I approached him on this,he said it was nothing,just innocent chat and flirting,he doesnt consider what he did cheating,but I do,and Iam hurt by his actions,he said all men do it,oh really?when they are dating someone exclusive?hmmm,oh,he and I are in our 40"S,these girls were 19-23,whats the deal?oh and they never wrote him back,at least not yet,I found out I guess... | |
|
TishaG
|
Joined: 11/13/2005
Msg: 2 | |
| got my heartbroken by online cheater
Posted: 9/29/2006 12:42:44 PM | | Welcome to the world of internet dating, darlin. I've done the pay sites off and on for over 4 years and it never changes...only gets worse. Not one guy have I met who was the real deal. They've all had the same "M.O.". Date someone....but keep looking. Nothing wrong with that as long as you are upfront about it. Most if not all of them weren't. Which is why I've pretty much given up on all types of internet dating..even if it's free. | |
|
| got my heartbroken by online cheater
Posted: 9/29/2006 12:44:23 PM | So what did you do? dump him because of it?
Why didnt you believe he was just talking and flirting?
If they didnt reply to his emails, then how could be be directly flirting with them?
You know him better than we do, but if he says it was nothing, then it was probably nothing.
He's an older man, in his 40's, and messaged a few younger girls. Probably just wanted to know if he was still desireable. Yes hes got a girlfriend, but it doesnt matter much when someone is fishing for compliments, looking to boost their ego.
Anyhoo, I dont really know what you were trying to get at, but Did you dump him or what?
And it could of been worse....you could of caught him in bed with one of those young girls.  | |
|
| got my heartbroken by online cheater
Posted: 9/29/2006 1:08:42 PM | Ahhhh, Jazz......way I look at it?.......he wasn't just looking at the menu, he was trying to order. I would feel the same way. Of course, you're going to hear other opinions on here, but, then again, in the world today, people have construed morals, values, etc. to fit their own lifestyles and their desires.
You're looker for a keeper? So am I. Don't you feel it's the proverbial needle in a haystack?
I dated someone who was a "terminal flirt".......I found it to be insulting, demeaning, and extremely childish. The cake isn't good enough.....they gotta be checking out the butter tarts, too. Now, he ain't got no dessert at all!!! lol
I don't think all men do this....I think some really respect & appreciate what they have, and damn well don't want to lose it. So, here's to the 2 of us finding 2 needles just like that! | |
|
| got my heartbroken by online cheater
Posted: 9/29/2006 1:19:50 PM | He'll allways be a flirt
did you dump him?
depends on if you want or can live with it or not some women can
some even share....and they stay together!!!!!!!
I don't agree with that
I am very selfish mysef probably too much sooo
But I do think that some men are "just like that" and some aren't
and I don't think they will change no matter who they are with
It's not you
People don't change for other people they change for themselves
and once again their are two types of men those who cant conrol themselves and those that can
I like the ones that can, but for some reason I can't never fall for them go figure
I mean I've met men that will treat me like I'm the only woman in the world no matter where we are as long as I'm with him he just doesn't look and flirt out of total respect for me
Not that he wouldn't harmlessly when I'm not around....wouldn't be human if he didn't
but I just couldn't fall for him for some reason
aint that a shame. That's what I want out of a man. That's how I want to be treated. How I want to feel when I'm with the man I'm in love with....But NOOOOOOOO I only get excited about the ones that get ALL the women excited and sometimes I think they really can't help themselves....it's like an addiction or something....they are sick and can't control themselves
;lol
| |
|
| got my heartbroken by online cheater
Posted: 9/29/2006 1:33:41 PM | i hate That he is so short sighted as to think ThatOr even believe
That ALL Men Do it. he's so Not Right!! That type of behavior
is acceptable By some people as i know a Woman that doesn't think
it's cheating at all as long as it doesn't Move to R/L meetings. according to
her there's no physical connection made so it's not cheating.
but in my opinoin it is cheating. when it takes away from interactions
with your S/O it's creates a certain distance between you therefore
not giving a 100% to you S/O. now i do think that flirting is pretty
natural but if he's doing the online cyber sex stuff or talking about his
and yours relationship, when it should be you he's doing that with,
Then by all means it's CHEATING, No two ways about it.
To me if it is hidden from you then he knows he's doing something
wrong, if it's out in open and you had known, that would be different.
If the two of you had discussed this possiblity, and worked out
the boundries between you then it would not been cheating.
it's all in the Couple and how each views cyber activities.
This is just MHO though | |
|
| got my heartbroken by online cheater
Posted: 9/29/2006 4:01:06 PM | | have u not met real friends though i have met guys who are now my friends and give me advice its not love then u would know if it was so move on | |
|
| got my heartbroken by online cheater
Posted: 9/29/2006 7:03:39 PM | OP i agree with you. if you're with someone then online chat rooms and mixed company at any age is right. good thing you caught him now rather then a few years down the road. and no one fishes for flirts just so one can tell that they are still desirable. they're cheats none the less. fish at home for those things .
dump his sorry lyin ass. and no. hes wrong. not all men do that. just him and those like him. some of us are for real and would love to have a good person in our lives and get off these sites.
good luck | |
|
| Hello Jazz
Posted: 10/2/2006 11:13:20 AM | | You did the right thing! Any guy that was in a relationship with you and does that isnt worth your time! Whats wrong with these guys?? I could never do anything like that if I was lucky enough to find someone like you! If your looking for a guy you can safely give your heart too then think about me OK? Dave | |
|
| got my heartbroken by online cheater
Posted: 10/2/2006 12:03:48 PM | | That is awful you are a lovley looking woman. I doupt many of them are interested in him. Hes an idiot. Don,t be hurt don,t waste your time on him. You,ve got lots of qualities and you are better of meeting someone who appreciates them and not this jerk. Think of the poor woman whoever ends up with him. What a miserable she will have. | |
|
| got my heartbroken by online cheater
Posted: 10/2/2006 12:26:37 PM | | honey im sorry this has happened to you but if you look back through the posts you will find it is a common occurence, i wish there was something i could say to make you feel better all i can say is you are a very attractive woman and having read yor profile you seem nice and down to earth it is his loss for being so stupid i hope you feel better in time and please dont feel bad about yourself you did nothing wrong this guy is a creep and you deserve better, in the meantime there are loads of lovely men and women on this site for you to make friends with so go with that, i enjoy talking with my friends on here and am planning to go to the next uk meet to talk to them in the flesh, so go for it and in time you will meet that special someone who treats you with more respect helen xx | |
|
| got my heartbroken by online cheater
Posted: 10/2/2006 12:42:09 PM | it has happened to lots of us. don't take it personally, his actions are a reflection of him,not you. hang in there. i know it makes your blood boil, i hear ya! and i know where you're coming from, but don't think all men are like that, at least i hope they're not!!!
good luck and just try and get out there and meet people. | |
|
| got my heartbroken by online cheater
Posted: 10/2/2006 12:49:36 PM | | I have dated a guy for over a year and I met him on this site and he did the same thing. He told me I stressed him out because when I asked hin about being online. What's wrong with these men? | |
|
| got my heartbroken by online cheater
Posted: 10/2/2006 4:51:50 PM | | a guy should only be interested in talking to you..not some little tiny boppers on line ..thats where he will make a big mastake...if it does it to you online he will do it to you off line..dont trust him sweetie end it now beore the hurt gets worse.. | |
|
| |
| got my heartbroken by online cheater
Posted: 10/2/2006 5:32:37 PM | OP... I went through the same thing not that long ago... It broke my heart...
Give yourself the time and love you've been giving the other and one day you'll be ready to love someone else again.
Good Luck...
Dont Give Up...
Keep Believing "The Right One" Will Come Along. | |
|
| got my heartbroken by online cheater
Posted: 10/2/2006 5:45:49 PM | | Change your add and get rid of him. If you were really exclusive, you both would have removed your profiles as far as I'm concerned, unless u have been a reg in the forums and made a lot of new friends. | |
|
| |
| got my heartbroken by online cheater
Posted: 10/3/2006 4:50:51 AM | Jazzgirl,
All men don't do it. In fact a guy in his 40's emailing a 19 year old at any time sounds a little strange to me. I'd never be in an "exclusive" relationship and still be active on one of these sites.
Look at it positively, you found a loser and it only took 4 months. Learn from it and move on. You deserve much better than that. | |
|
| got my heartbroken by online cheater
Posted: 10/3/2006 7:14:42 PM | These days it seems like more and more people condone this type of behaviour. Innocent? I don't think so. And of course it was nothing. People that do what they shouldn't be doing will always try to downplay it.
I wonder whether the people who think this is okay would be okay if they were out with a man and while they went to the restroom he would be flirting with someone else at that persons table.
Or if he's out with his friends and he's flirting and chatting up other women. Is that okay?
If you have an exclusive relationship, it's not acceptable. At least not by me.
If a man says it was nothing, why did he do it? Why wast time and do nothing? Of course it's something.... to say otherwise is ridiculous.
I wish all the people who say you should keep your profile here after you've gotten exclusive would read this. | |
|
| got my heartbroken by online cheater
Posted: 10/4/2006 2:43:22 AM | | well first off why are you looking over his sholder anyway and he was smart as he saved money as all woman use guys so good to see one come back please let me know where he is as he needs a hand shake top guy keep up the work xx | |
|
| got my heartbroken by online cheater
Posted: 10/4/2006 2:54:49 AM | Dont give your heart to every online cowboy on here that says hello...............
Keep the goodies until you know he is THE ONE...don't hand out samples..while he is playing with the kiddies.....he is just playing.... | |
|
| got my heartbroken by online cheater
Posted: 10/4/2006 8:50:31 AM | | The problem is, its to easy, its not just men that are guilty of it, its women to...sometimes its a just an ego boost, seeing if they can actually attract someone alot younger, others will go a step further and persue it into the reality ..If he was hiding something then he prolly is...only you can decide on whether he is the type to take things further.. | |
|
| got my heartbroken by online cheater
Posted: 10/7/2006 4:31:46 AM | | Hey Jazzgirl,did it really break your heart?or did it just shock you,I mean here you are goin out with this guy and thinkin everything peachy,then WHAM!you did say you met him online,so why didnt you two just remove your profiles from the site?I know if I met someone special,I would be so glad to get off these sites,maybe the two of you are just internet junkies,and maybe he was just lookin for a cheap thrill! its stupid,but,good luck and cheer up! plenty more fish in the sea,ok,pretty lady? | |
|
| got my heartbroken by online cheater
Posted: 10/8/2006 2:28:26 PM | | hello everyone hey ive also gotten my heart broken by my husband from a girl of of here shes from massachuttes state,shes 48yrs old and hes only 35 and i cant believe it hes lied to me about loving her and her coming to be there with him and even into our own home and into our own bed even,this really sucks too cause hes been married to me for about 8yrs this end of nov. now ,so now im out at the state of maine because im so sad and so hurt now from it so now im trying to get onto my feet again with some best friends out here they are so nice to me helping me out to ,i just hate it all my life men treats me so horrible isnt there any men out there that treats a women with respect or just not lie to them ?all my life ive been thru so much shit i hate it ,i hate being thru hell and back again,been into shelters even cause of men too ,my life sucks wished i had a better life more loving and cuddles tooxoxoxoxo | |
|
Home
login 
