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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > How do you handle someone who won't let you go?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Cin4U
Joined: 2/26/2005
Msg: 1
How do you handle someone who won't let you go?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Ok heres a twist, how do you handle or deal with someone who wont let you go?. I have someone in my life who claims he loves me with all his heart. The funny thing is I did love him at one time. But his actions and words have made me rethink everything and back away and start to look for someone else. He is not physically or verball abusive, he is just not ready to be commited but he wanted me to be commited to him. I cant give something that someones not willing to return. I have backed away and started doing my own thing. He tells me I would never leave him, and that he loves me etc etc. I say if you truly love me then you would be showing me that love by growing up and showing me your real. When he calls me which is all the time, he is always out with his "female friends", he talks to me right in front of them. We were friends for over a year before we started anything, we grew to love each other. I have decided a long time ago, that no matter what I felt I needed to let him go. And I still think that. He lives in another state, he tells me everything he does...some things I just dont want to hear. I told him if this was going to work that he needed to do whatever "running" he felt he needed to because if and when he moves here to be with me, both my "little cell phone book" and his will have to go. Keep friends but not friends with benefits. Hes cool with that. My problem is that he is always out with females and they see him more then I do. I hate feeling jealous so I did whats natural. I backed away. I am still backing away. I feel if its going to happen it will if not I move on. My heart is on full gaurd and its going to stay that way. BUT if it doesnt happen hes not going to let me go that easily. Hes not a physical threat, or at least right now. But what do you do to maintain your own feelings of self respect and still repsect their feelings when you have to let them go and they wont. Something to think about. Anyyone been on the opposite side of a broken heart?
 reeferjones
Joined: 2/12/2005
Msg: 2
How do you handle someone who won't let you go?
Posted: 3/20/2005 2:15:25 PM
Tell him to listen and not say a word or yer walkin right that second.......then tell him what little choice he has and why.........and when he tries to convince you otherwise say you'll call him in 2 yrs so he can thank-you!!
 jacqiO
Joined: 2/6/2005
Msg: 3
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How do you handle someone who won't let you go?
Posted: 3/20/2005 2:27:11 PM
Do believe Reefer's got that one conquered (as most others he tackles); he has no choice; needs to accept the choices that have occurred...and just...let it go....

I can understand; kind of have the same issue in my life however, hope someday, he'll just figure it out....polling.....40% yes; 60% no....but my fingers are crossed....lol
 Babylonia
Joined: 1/27/2005
Msg: 4
How do you handle someone who won't let you go?
Posted: 3/20/2005 4:07:26 PM
Reefer's got it down to perfection.
 GMCAcadia
Joined: 5/6/2004
Msg: 5
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How do you handle someone who won't let you go?
Posted: 3/20/2005 4:27:33 PM
Definitly need to think about it... But you said that you don't want him anymore... So the only thing to really do is tell him straight up, it ain't gonna work...

But if you do want to give it a shot, then a Serious talk is needed between the 2 of you, which will involve you doing most of the talking and making him listen... If he has changed at all and wants to be commited he will listen...
 Cin4U
Joined: 2/26/2005
Msg: 6
How do you handle someone who won't let you go?
Posted: 3/20/2005 4:51:32 PM
The thing is he does have my heart but unless he does a 180...hes not going to keep it. I know he has major potential but wether or not he uses it is a whole other story. I am too old to be waiting for a man to grow up and see what he has. Actually the way I feel is I am quickly being lost if I havent been already. Its frustrating to me becuase I have given all I could and well I dont see us going anywhere at all. I already told him that either he can be with me and we can do this together, or I am going on without him. The strange thing is I have never felt this strong in my life. Here I am in love deeply with someone yet I am not willing to go through the BS. I am quick to pull away and back out fast. Before I would practically turn myself inside out for someone I loved. Now, I cant bring myself to lower my pride and just suck it up and take it on the chin. I am really feeling some type of way about this. As much as it hurts, I have to do this. Am I giving up too fast?
 lone56wolf
Joined: 1/31/2005
Msg: 7
How do you handle someone who won't let you go?
Posted: 3/20/2005 5:14:13 PM
Leopard doesn't change its spots....

Steve
 Cin4U
Joined: 2/26/2005
Msg: 8
How do you handle someone who won't let you go?
Posted: 3/20/2005 5:15:52 PM
Words to think about....thank you.
 DKNWhy
Joined: 2/16/2005
Msg: 9
How do you handle someone who won't let you go?
Posted: 3/22/2005 3:04:00 PM
Some people do change, however you're not obliged to be the one to test their "new" selves on. Wish them good luck & ciao meow
 wtfwasithinking
Joined: 3/22/2005
Msg: 10
How do you handle someone who won't let you go?
Posted: 3/22/2005 8:15:32 PM
two words- restaining order
 WastedTalents
Joined: 2/8/2005
Msg: 11
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How do you handle someone who won't let you go?
Posted: 3/22/2005 8:25:50 PM
Cin4U I would like to speak with you privately on this. Don't change your setting however on my behalf. Just mail me and I'll be able to reply. Subject in question from your original post.
 reeferjones
Joined: 2/12/2005
Msg: 12
How do you handle someone who won't let you go?
Posted: 3/22/2005 8:47:38 PM
Ive said it before ....leopards CAn change their spots if they WANT to...........cant yOU?
 Cin4U
Joined: 2/26/2005
Msg: 13
How do you handle someone who won't let you go?
Posted: 3/23/2005 4:18:37 AM
My mind says leave him alone, dont give him the time of day, but my hearts reminds me we have been friends for a long time before we started this thing. Give him a chance but back away and protect yourself. He does really stupid shit. He acts like hes a kid. Stupid sh*tmeaning that he litterally does things that he knows will eventually come back and bite him in the ass later. This really hasnt started till recently. It's like hes went from this great mature guy who I knew loved me with all his heart, to a man who acts more like a teenager. Its not always a bad thing to act that way within reason, but his actions and and his words are really making me resent him. I dont want to be with a man like this, we used to talk about things, we used to do allot of things as well. Now it seems like I have become "one of the others" kind of like being herded in a group and being branded. I dont feel like I am as special as I once was. I dont feel like he realizes what hes done. I am so gone...
 Ms. Picky
Joined: 1/11/2005
Msg: 14
How do you handle someone who won't let you go?
Posted: 3/23/2005 4:36:41 AM
he's not in love with you, he's obssessed.

and no one can MAKE you stay in a situation you're not happy being in.

be strong, run, don't walk, away

this man has an addictive personality, and you're his drug.

ugh, i've been here. and it stinks. i know it's hard to leave, but once you do, you'll be happier
 PakanaHerruus
Joined: 2/28/2004
Msg: 15
How do you handle someone who won't let you go?
Posted: 3/23/2005 4:42:40 AM
you cant run forever.. you gotta face it.. and you gotta let him see that no way will you ever be with him.. he will get the message eventually.. start giving him real excuses why it wont work.. and nothing he can do will change that..
 reeferjones
Joined: 2/12/2005
Msg: 16
How do you handle someone who won't let you go?
Posted: 3/23/2005 4:46:25 AM
If you dont get out of this youll BOTH be lost and dragging your children through a life of false promises and lies........but hey....DONT do what I would do unless youre prepared for the consequences.....it IS yoUR're choice.........think carefully about whats best for everybody
 DOWNSOUTH
Joined: 2/21/2005
Msg: 17
How do you handle someone who won't let you go?
Posted: 3/23/2005 4:54:56 AM
Well you need to set ground rules cross this line one more time i will forget about you.
We need good communications.Once people know what there up against they have that final chance to change for the good or see you later!
 reeferjones
Joined: 2/12/2005
Msg: 18
How do you handle someone who won't let you go?
Posted: 3/23/2005 5:07:39 AM
Sometimes you dont realize that you DO need to change untill you've lost e
VERything............then if you have the strength, it gives you a newly found clarity if you're willing to look inside of yourSElf..............well,thats just what I've heard.......
 Ms. Picky
Joined: 1/11/2005
Msg: 19
How do you handle someone who won't let you go?
Posted: 3/23/2005 5:21:48 AM
ugh, i hope that's not true, reef.

i've been known to be quite stubborn. i hope i'd get it before that point
 reeferjones
Joined: 2/12/2005
Msg: 20
How do you handle someone who won't let you go?
Posted: 3/23/2005 5:29:14 AM
I do tooo ms picky.......
 DOWNSOUTH
Joined: 2/21/2005
Msg: 21
How do you handle someone who won't let you go?
Posted: 3/23/2005 5:42:53 AM
Some people learn and change.
 reeferjones
Joined: 2/12/2005
Msg: 22
How do you handle someone who won't let you go?
Posted: 3/23/2005 5:44:57 AM
everybody learns........................
 Eight
Joined: 3/23/2005
Msg: 23
How do you handle someone who won't let you go?
Posted: 3/23/2005 10:18:20 PM
Kung fu solves all problems. Trust me.
 reeferjones
Joined: 2/12/2005
Msg: 24
How do you handle someone who won't let you go?
Posted: 3/24/2005 5:20:53 AM
sometimes ,with those that arent listening..........I only trust myself
 twinkle,twinkle***
Joined: 3/20/2005
Msg: 25
How do you handle someone who won't let you go?
Posted: 3/24/2005 5:43:14 AM
Stop communicating with "It"...It will eventually fade away..Out there in this crazy world we are living in.There is some sick people!!Some that wants to keep what they had (cuz they were good)just because they don't want anyone else to have it!!Remember happiness is the key that opens the door to alot of things in life....If the person will not leave you alone,hopefully there is a stalking law in your area...Serve the papers!!Women needs to open their eyes cuz there are women getting hurt even killed because of men that are stalking them/not leaving them alone....jealousy will drive someone crazy....Leave them alone!!!
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