| this is not right paying child support to g/f not my kids
Posted: 10/2/2006 1:58:10 PM | in Illinois, we have a law that states if you're living with a chick that has kids that are not yours and that when you break off the relationship, you have to pay child support.
They're not your kids! According to family court, that's true but you were there and you were like their father and you still have to pay support and alimony to your ex-girlfriend.
I believe California & Washington State has this law along with Illinois.
The problem is something has to be done about Family Court.        | |
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| this is not right paying child support to g/f not my kids
Posted: 10/2/2006 2:08:37 PM | Well actually the problem is that of the person who decides to live with a person with Kids... If you decide to make a choice such as that, better be ready to accept the consquences of your actions. And one of them may be being forced to pay CS to care for children that are no biologically yours.
I may be wrong, but I beleive if you have Pre-Nup made up in these places, things like that can be addressed, and you won't be held responsible... But don't quote me on that.
Just a fair warning, if your going to get involved with somone who has kids. Might want to be ready for the finicial blow that may follow at the end of the relationship. I'm not trying to sound harsh, just truthful. | |
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| this is not right paying child support to g/f not my kids
Posted: 10/2/2006 2:13:06 PM | Same law here. You sound like someone just burned. Although here I think it is more if you stayed and helped raise the kids, if you find out early on you are free to walk away with no obligations unless you choose to remain a "father figure" so for once the ball is in your court for a change. And again you must find out and act quickly if this is the case.
Gotta love a world of DNA tests, and pre-nups, just to cover your a55 no matter how much you may trust the person. | |
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| this is not right paying child support to g/f not my kids
Posted: 10/2/2006 2:13:20 PM | Great. A freakin Tom Leykis follower.
Leykis 101
That dj is nothing but a bitter jaded man that was married 4 times. Degrades women, and is using the radio as an outlet to publically bash women because he is so bitter himself. | |
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| this is not right paying child support to g/f not my kids
Posted: 10/2/2006 2:17:45 PM | Good point spider I completely forgot about the move in when she already has kids and she declares you a father figure after you move out one. That has gotta suck. Silly assed laws like this go a way in explaining why some guys just don't want to get serious. But still you won't win the lotto without a ticket, so its a risk/reward thing I think.
Lol, just wait ten years paternity tests will be mandatory and part of the normal process ..... immunization, weigh, inspect eyes, joints and so on then a sample to see who your daddy is. | |
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| this is not right paying child support to g/f not my kids
Posted: 10/2/2006 2:24:24 PM | ok, I am presuming you are all writing from the US, well I live in Canada, and the part I live in is similar to the fact that if a man moves in with a women who has children, and stays with her 6 months or more, they are legally married. The children involved, even though their hers, the man has a obligation to look after them - it seems more so if the child(ren) do not know their own father and they take on the new live in as their dad. My girlfriend went through this when her kids were only 2 years old and the man was the only father they knew, after 10 years, they split and the courts found him to be liable to these kids as they were the only father they knew - biological dad no where in picture.
I presume it would work both ways though, if a lady moves in with a man with children, and she made good monies, they split, I think she'd be held accountable too...that's what I heard - but don't hold me to that one. | |
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| this is not right paying child support to g/f not my kids
Posted: 10/2/2006 2:30:12 PM | Lol river you have me confused with someone else. I follow no man. And really could careless who the OP is or what he does.
In several areas maybe cali, maybe not I don't know.... but right here it is a law, and was made in an effort to address some rulings that were unfair to women. Now the gate has swung too far the otherway, and should be re-addressed as there are women that take advantage of that law without scruples or morals.
Before you attempt to judge me I would advise you get to know me first. And if my veiw that the family court system could be alot fairer and more equitable to both men and women is enough for you to decry me and label me a "follower" of an alleged mysogynist or chauvinist. Well then I recognise a closed mind when I see it and couldn't be botherred beyond a civil hello. This sort of thing only adds fuel to a fire that shouldn't even be burning. | |
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me+2
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Joined: 8/11/2006
Msg: 10 | |
| this is not right paying child support to g/f not my kids
Posted: 10/2/2006 2:36:25 PM | Ok I know there were other threads on this law and that I stated this on those as well...but seems people have forgotten again...
This law applies to single PARENTS...why the assumption it is always going to be a man moving in with a single mother? It does happen the other way around..women move in with single fathers every day. And if the situation is reversed, and a woman takes responsibility for his kids, he can seek support as well. Whether he does or doesn't is up to him, same as it is for any single mother who has a man take responsibility for her children.
Not all women will choose to exercise this option, just as not all men will choose not to. It's a risk we ALL take, regardless of gender. | |
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| this is not right paying child support to g/f not my kids
Posted: 10/2/2006 2:39:41 PM | Sorry loony, I wasnt talking to you.
Tom Leykis is a radio personality here in Southern California. If youve heard of Howard Stern, this guy is worse. Very anti-woman.
I was just saying that his "handle" confirms he is a follower of the personality. The dj has a heirum of men followers. They call in and **** and whine about women in general.
Obviously the guy chose his screenname to say he is a follower of the radio personality. | |
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| this is not right paying child support to g/f not my kids
Posted: 10/2/2006 2:44:50 PM | The dj has a heirum of men followers. They call in and **** and whine about women in general.
I know the show... Haven't heard it in a couple of years. Apparently it's a little to Racy for the CRTC, the organziaton that controls radio brodcasts in Canada. But my only point about the show.. How is it any different from some of those women call in shows where you get all these women B-tching and complaing about men?
Sorry I know a little off topic... Just wanted to throw in my 2 cents | |
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| this is not right paying child support to g/f not my kids
Posted: 10/2/2006 2:51:38 PM | What women shows are you talking about where they **** about men? There arent any here.
I just personally think the show is geared towards slamming women because some men just want to vent and whine, which is fine, we all have our issues of the opposite sex. But he does it in such a way that is flat out sexist. Telling men to never get involved with women with kids, use and abuse them for sex so you can have fun. Never get married. Never spend money on them, etc.
I do listen, only because its afternoon entertainment at work. I do agree with some of his points. He does have some women followers, very few, but, they do call in. The callers call him father, he calls them son. LOL
I know, off-topic. | |
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| this is not right paying child support to g/f not my kids
Posted: 10/2/2006 3:19:39 PM | i tried to post the leykis 101 rules a while back and was kicked off because of them but if anyone else is intersted ill send you the rules
i can understand why river girl does not like leykis he tells men not to date single moms and bashes them hard but if i wouldnt have. i would not have had spend all my savings . so much for buying that bmw i always wanted .
i just spent the last year fight this court order im only 25 and i live in california now i spent well over 30 k wich is alot of money considering i make 70 k per yer i finally got the order to pay taken off
i had been dating this girl for 5 year when we broke up she was 6 years older then me
her child was three when we met
one more thing about leykis . his show is geared for men that just want to get laid not have relationships
i am now a 101 student until i meet the right girl | |
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| this is not right paying child support to g/f not my kids
Posted: 10/2/2006 3:30:34 PM | | How long is the time frame that a person have to live with this parent to be made to pay child support if he/she leaves? I could understand it (but never agree with it) being so if you are talking 8-10 years. But after a year or 5? No way. Totally unfair. | |
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| this is not right paying child support to g/f not my kids
Posted: 10/2/2006 3:31:13 PM | Oh yeah. Wow. Your a real winner.
What a charmer.
You need to move on and let go of your bitterness towards your past that brought you to your closed minded attitude. Then maybe youd meet that "right girl" | |
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| this is not right paying child support to g/f not my kids
Posted: 10/2/2006 3:33:24 PM |
one more thing about leykis . his show is geared for men that just want to get laid not have relationships
i am now a 101 student until i meet the right girl
So, basically what you are saying here, is that you just want to get laid.
I feel sorry that you have become so bitter that you have to resort to abusing your body and screw others to get the satisfaction that you need. | |
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| this is not right paying child support to g/f not my kids
Posted: 10/2/2006 3:40:05 PM | im not being closed minded at all . i just wanted to share my experience with some of the other men out there. I did not know what i was getting into dating a single mom i was 20 years old .I cant say she wasnt a great person or we didnt have fun togerther because we did.
im not bitter at this point. never was really i would of helped her out if she needed the money but not for ever . it was not my child i didnt make her she has a father wich she sees every weekend now. why should i have been forced to pay | |
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| this is not right paying child support to g/f not my kids
Posted: 10/2/2006 3:45:52 PM | At this point yes when i go out to bars and clubs im not looking for a g/f .i will be going out just to get laid. until i reach my full potental /my career goals and what not i wil not be in a comitted relationship
when i have done everthing i want to do and have met most of my goals and i have my life in decent order again . i will be able to have a healthy relationship with someone
but at least im being honest now can we please go back to the topic if youwant to talk about tom leykis start a new post why i hate tom leykis | |
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| this is not right paying child support to g/f not my kids
Posted: 10/2/2006 3:47:43 PM | i heard that canada has this too......my fiance was worried when the new law came around..he was with his ex monster for 8 yrs and helped raise her daughter for that time.
There were no papers ect...just common law...but I dont think its fair one bit to ask something like that from a non blood parent.Yes you helped out but as for creating that child only the birth parent should be responsible finacially for them for child support unless there is an adoption ect.
My fiance knows my kids belong to me and my ex only.Once he becomes step daddy then he will take on a higher role.But there is no way i wiould ever ask him to pay up for kids that dont belong to him!!!!! Thats for the exdummass to do...he took off...he pays up!!  | |
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| this is not right paying child support to g/f not my kids
Posted: 10/2/2006 3:51:32 PM | If there is a child support order for the biological father to pay, then he is the one souly responsible for paying. YOU would have had to come into a BINDING agreement in order to being forced to pay for a child that is not biologically yours.
As Leykis "preaches" YOU are the "idiot" that wasnt paying attention to what you were getting into. So dont "cry" later. HOWEVER, just because YOU felt YOU made a mistake, I wouldnt go around "preaching" to men to "steer clear". Maybe they have more common sense than you. Or maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaybe, it doesnt bother them, because they want whats best for that child and they are standup men. Who knows.
As for you going out to the bars/clubs just to "get laid", well, all I can say, is your age, and your bitterness shows. Happy screwing my friend. But dont whine and spout off that you got some chick pregnant and now YOU are the one responsible for child support. | |
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| this is not right paying child support to g/f not my kids
Posted: 10/2/2006 4:00:59 PM | if i do get a girl prego thats my fault. i will pay
according to you a real man/ "stand up men" would of continued to give up 25% of his paycheck to pay for a child that wasnt his? all because the childs kid was a dead beat. i didnt choose the kids father . it wasnt my choice for her to sleep with a loser. she chose him not me . Now becuase im a decent guy with a ok job . you say tag im it .i dont think so
im an idiot now . ok what ever you live and you learn . never did i say dont date single mothers . im sure there are some great ladies out there . if i had kids i would date one but i dont . | |
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| this is not right paying child support to g/f not my kids
Posted: 10/2/2006 4:05:57 PM | RIVER RIVER RIVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hed get along quite well with my ex...whose sole purpose in life is finding the next victim to fullfill his lusty needs and suck the life force outta that one and move on to the next...
it all comes down to lonliness...stupidness.....lack of responsibility...boyishness...utter lack of compassion for others...and when something doesnt go thier way no matter the consenquences and feelings of others they selfishly just leave for others to pick up the broken peices.
All in the life of the cold hearted selfish a0holes...( and im not counting out the women either) | |
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