| Would you accept...
Posted: 10/6/2006 10:29:34 AM | seeing (let's say at a party) your ex with her/his new partner if the partner in question was the guy/girl she/he cheated you with? Would you leave? Would you expect your ex not to rub it in your face?
or : Lets' say you and your ex still live together, would you tolerate it if she/he was bringing her/his new lover over knowing that the lover in question was the guy/girl she/he cheated you with? Would you ask your ex not to bring him/her over? Would it be fair?
What do you think? | |
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| Would accept...
Posted: 10/6/2006 10:42:41 AM | Hi, firstly if relationships between you are amicable, you shouldn't feel you have to leave the party, but if you're too upset then that would be the best solution. However, she/he would have to be very cold and callous to rub your face in it.
If you still live together (for financial reasons/house/children?) it would be totally unacceptable to bring someone back, unless you have an agreement where you have separate weekends to yourselves - that would be totally fair - it's bad enough that you cheated but only someone really quite nasty would expect to do that - unless you have insisted to them that you're o.k. and over it, in which case, tell the truth, you're not and it's hurting so you need respect. Hug for person affected  | |
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| Would you accept...
Posted: 10/6/2006 11:00:08 AM | seeing (let's say at a party) your ex with her/his new partner if the partner in question was the guy/girl she/he cheated you with? Would you leave?
Yes, I'd leave.
Would you expect your ex not to rub it in your face?
hahaha...it's apparent that my expectations wouldn't make a damn to him or he wouldn't have cheated, therefore, I'd remove myself from the situation. Hell may freeze over before I'd expect something from him. 
or : Lets' say you and your ex still live together, would you tolerate it if she/he was bringing her/his new lover over knowing that the lover in question was the guy/girl she/he cheated you with?
Oh good God! Not a chance...she'd go down! Well, providing I hadn't already taken him down, in which case there's no issue, lol.
Would you ask your ex not to bring him/her over?
See above. I, umm, wouldn't advise it.
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| Would accept...
Posted: 10/6/2006 11:01:28 AM | Once it's over it's over as far as I'm concerned. Provided both people are well aware of that fact, then I don't particularly care what the other does nor do I expect him to care about my behaviour either.
I've had a situation where one of us had to move out but hadn't done so yet. I just did whatever I wanted on my own time elsewhere.
Once kids are involved it gets a whole lot more complicated too. I'm having Thanksgiving dinner on Monday with my in-laws and my son whether his father attends or not. It's just better for my kid that way. | |
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Posted: 10/6/2006 11:18:43 AM | I tend to agree with "Once it's over it's over as far as I'm concerned. ...I don't particularly care what the other does nor do I expect him to care about my behaviour either."
On the living together part...I'm thinking it would not be fair to the ex. If she cheated with someone and is in love. Who would I be to keep them separated?? It would be has much her place as it would be mine. If the roles were reverse, i would not want to be treated that way. | |
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| Would accept...
Posted: 10/6/2006 11:34:46 AM | I don't have an ex. But, even if I did, I don't see how or why that would bother me. I would move on for a reason, right?
Do people really NOT get over their ex'es or what? | |
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| Would you accept...
Posted: 10/6/2006 11:46:41 AM | Talk about throwing a curve ball.
Several comments make me wonder how well adept you are at making a decision to burn a bridge. For one, I wouldn't live with an ex. Period. If I had lived with someone in such a way, it would behoove me to know who's got squatters rights and decide who's moving after that. No way would I stay in the same house while an ex is bringing guys over, nor would I do that. If you bought a house together, you'lll have to negotiate that, and if it's a rental, you might have to wait out the lease. Otherwise, I'd decide who's leaving, and with a quickness. | |
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| Would you accept...
Posted: 10/6/2006 11:57:43 AM | | Couldnt imagine living with an ex........and then dealing with thier dating situation either...... | |
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| Would you accept...
Posted: 10/6/2006 12:21:37 PM | Why should you leave the party? If she rubs it in your face!!! ask here if she got that little problem fixed in front of him  As far as living with your ex who brings BF's over you are joking right? | |
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| Would you accept...
Posted: 10/6/2006 12:25:59 PM | | The thing is, I’m seeing someone as a friend. She was going out with another girl and cheated on her with me. That was a year ago. Both girls still live together. I’m still not welcome in their apartment because her ex does not want to see me. Hence my question, hence this thread. Do you think it's normal? I think it's unfair. | |
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| Would you accept...
Posted: 10/6/2006 12:47:39 PM | | It's totally fair that if they are still living in the same residence that you do not go there and rub it in her face.........my ex & I still share the marital home....we have our own space and share kitchen, laundry room, etc. .but.........the agreement we have is that there will be NO Co-Habitation as long as we both live there.............Period........It's only fair | |
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| Would you accept...
Posted: 10/6/2006 1:01:23 PM | Mani I don't understand why anyone would continue to live with someone who had cheated on them and then moved on to another relationship. If things have changed that much you need to break away so you can move on. MOVE OUT.
If you happen to see the person at a party just be polite say hello and move to another area of the house. You shouldn't let the other person come between you and mutual friends. | |
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Posted: 10/6/2006 1:38:49 PM | When the booze and food is gone.....I'm gone. Not one second earlier. Nobody breaks up my partying. I don't care if she brought the whole Football Team with her.
And the second question. I'd tell em to go to the nearest No-Tell Motel. I would'nt care who they were bringing home, I just don't want to be kept awake by a bunch of grunting | |
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| Would you accept...
Posted: 10/6/2006 1:56:11 PM | My ex cheated with this chick he ran into from his past,i moved out.She moved in.But i went out of my way to be nice to her,became friends.Told her i wasnt upset with her,she didnt know me.Totaly pissed him off though............. | |
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| Would you accept...
Posted: 10/6/2006 2:09:17 PM | | The whole still living together thing is something I have experienced so I understand how a situation like that can develop, however in such a case where there was cheating involved, well, a person can only be so mature. If the break up was mutual then okay I can see there being no issues with bringing a new SO over, but this is a case of her cheating on the other person. That person did not choose the break-up and was not in that frame of mind when this situation came about. Whether that person has accepted what happened and accepted a continued co-habitation, won't make the cheating aspect of it any less hurtful to the other so be respectful and respect her wishes or offer to move into a new place with your girl. I find it inconsiderate that you being the "other person", could even fathom wanting to be in the presence of whom your woman cheated on. | |
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| Would you accept...
Posted: 10/6/2006 2:15:57 PM | | It sounds awful & mean, like you should ignore the people. If you really love someone you should be happy to see them happy whether they are with you or not. I wouldn't tolerate it unless I had a better lover at the time! | |
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a1na2
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Joined: 10/3/2006
Msg: 18 | |
| Would you accept...
Posted: 10/6/2006 2:39:46 PM | I knew a guy who lived with a girlfriend, they broke up but still lived together because of their lease, she started bringing over a new guy , he'd spend the night in her room, and the old boyfriend would hear them go at it. I'd shake my head and say " that's rough, dude " and he shrugged and said " actually, I get off on it - if you can't join 'em ya might as well beat it "
Different strokes , in this case literally, for different folks , I guess. LOL | |
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| Would you accept...
Posted: 10/6/2006 2:49:42 PM | ~OT~ My ex moved out of our house and into hers. They often came to our son's ball games, school functions, and yes ~ holidays at my house, etc. I basically didn't say much to her. I certainly didn't blame her for our divorce, she wasn't our problem, she was our solution. I suppose I just tend to smile my way through most bothersome situations. We had a son to consider, it was much more productive for me to ignore her than to cause trouble that would have eventually left my son dealing with parents who could not get along. I assume Karma will deal with people ~ that leaves me free to be happy and live in peace and sanity. To each their own, I only did what worked best for me and my family.  | |
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| Would you accept...
Posted: 10/6/2006 2:53:04 PM | I might approach her date and ask, "So what do you think of her hand jobs?" Hell, I'd offer him a beer, too. The poor bast*rd would need one. | |
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| Would you accept...
Posted: 10/6/2006 2:56:26 PM | I've never had a situation like that ever happen to me, so i really don't know how to answer this question. in any relationship i haver ever had, someone was going to leave. i don't believe i would want to continue staying with an ex if we were over.
as far as them coming to a party that i was already at, i wouldn't leave. if i was invited and they were invited, if i was having a good time, i would stay. | |
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