| Honesty between couples
Posted: 7/24/2004 4:58:30 PM | | Why is it that in 90 percent of my relationships with women that I have noticed they have no problem lying to me? It doesnt matter if its a small lie or a big one it rolls off there tongue easily. And when I finally get to the point of leaving them they are surprised. I mean fet a clue if you cant be honest with me why should I be with you. | |
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| Re: Honesty between couples
Posted: 7/24/2004 9:15:48 PM | | well maybe it's the women that r not the type that u wanna be with, there could be a pattern in ur dating | |
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| Re: Honesty between couples
Posted: 7/25/2004 12:09:32 AM | | Woman told lies somehow is their nature I think...Most small lies aren't in purpose be dishonest, probably just don't want to be perspective to man...SO, it will depend on what lies she told in relationship...if she didn't love you, the lies always would be big one and abviously...but small lies didn't mean she didn't love you and care about you.... | |
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Ruby_
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Joined: 7/10/2004
Msg: 4 | |
| Re: Honesty between couples
Posted: 7/25/2004 4:35:53 AM | I understand what you are saying. I have trust issues because of being lied too as well. If you are a person who does not lie it is hard to believe that someone who says they love you will lie to you.
It has occurred to me that because I over looked over some small lies from this person, it was permission to continue with the lying, so he thought. It destroyed the relationship as well.
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| Re: Honesty between couples
Posted: 7/25/2004 9:27:27 AM | Hey lies can be delt with at the start of a relationship if you do it right. Tell them where you stand and what you will stand for. Do not let it go out of control. " ohh she may not like me or want to be with me " so what, if you cant trust them is the relationship really worth it in the long run?
Gado | |
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| Re: Honesty between couples
Posted: 7/25/2004 9:33:01 PM | Maybe we lie to placate men... sometimes men force us to choose between a little white lie and a mans negative reaction to the truth. Not saying it's right, but just trying to shed a little light...
Aquamom | |
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| Re: Honesty between couples
Posted: 7/26/2004 9:03:29 AM | | that’s kind of along the lines of is it dishonest to not say how your really feeling to some one when you know they think your feeling 180 defiant? I say it is dishonest and weather you do not like the person reaction or not does not matter. It really comes down to what’s right and what you’re willing to settle for or live with in the end. For me small no big deal lies do not bother me that much but leading on and deceit of things that matter do. If she would tell me I have nothing planed really dear. As she is trying to set a b day party up. I do not care yes it still is a lie but no big deal. Now if she is saying I love you with all my heart and then going out meeting other men well that is one I will not put up with. And ya have been on the receiving end of both. | |
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| Re: Honesty between couples
Posted: 7/26/2004 2:17:25 PM | lies are wrong....period...
my marriage went to shit because i was lied to so much. No matter what i still have a hard time trusting. Its going to take a long tiem till i let my 100 foot wall down and trust triker a thousand percent. I let him drive yesterday home..i was shaking i was so nervous about letting him do that.
I"m always waiting for soemthing bad ot happen i dont know why. Im so used to having thing blow up i nmy face..and beign treated badly that when im treated like a queen its hard to relax and trust a new person with all my heart. No matter how important it is to me and no matter how much i love you trust must be earned.
Some ppl can tell a teeny tiny while lie that does no harm but big whoppers should not be told between 2 ppl who love eachother. | |
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| Re: Honesty between couples
Posted: 7/27/2004 6:14:50 AM | | lies aren't the best things for a relationship or friendship so i recommend 100% honest | |
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| Honesty between couples
Posted: 5/9/2009 7:00:44 PM | perhaps better communication on both parts is needed
when you discovered her lying, did you talk to her about it? did she feel the need to lie out of fear or out of compulsion because she's a compulsive liar? - a one off occasion, or a repeat offender?
if you can't talk about things with a partner then there's not going to be much hope of ever understanding them
it doesn't mean that you have to agree with whatever they do or stick around if they do something you don't like (i agree - if i was with someone who told me lies all the time, i wouldn't want to stick around either) - but it does mean that you have a chance of figuring out what's really going on and maybe helping her realize that she doesn't have to fabricate things, for whatever reason
and just because she didn't have the moral compass to realize that truth was a good thing, doesn't mean that you should act the same way toward her - if you hold honesty highly, then that shouldn't be dependent on how another person acts by doing the same thing they do, imo | |
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| Honesty between couples
Posted: 5/9/2009 7:23:34 PM | when you discovered her lying, did you talk to her about it? did she feel the need to lie out of fear or out of compulsion because she's a compulsive liar? - a one off occasion, or a repeat offender? Ummmm, english.... I don't think he'll be answering you. This thread is almost 5 years old so I'm hoping he's with one of the 10% by now who didn't lie to him. : ) | |
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| Honesty between couples
Posted: 5/9/2009 7:26:29 PM | or maybe she was really an axe-murderer and has him locked up in the basement with all her 'toys'...
...wonder if she told the truth about that?
those dern liars
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| Honesty between couples
Posted: 5/9/2009 7:26:50 PM | | What a generalization! Personally, I was brought up to be honest and got away with nothing to this day. I am not good at lying. I get caught even if I fib. Problem is most guys I date lie to me. | |
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| Honesty between couples
Posted: 5/9/2009 10:25:33 PM | i could never understand why people feel so compelled to lie.
it's stupid.
if i were in a relationship, i'd hate to even imagine what it would be like to lie to someone and when he finds out........i'd be totally embarrassed.....
how people lie and think that it's perfectly normal and acceptable is disgusting.
speaks to a persons character and funny how people don't think anything of it and it's 2nd nature to some.
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| Honesty between couples
Posted: 5/9/2009 10:27:31 PM | [ why is it in 90 percent of my relationships with women that I have noticed they have no problem lying to me ?............... if you can't be honest with me why should I be with you] Wow! 90% is a big percented..
Is the scenario something like this?
vega- Did you iron my shirt ?
Vannili- Yes Dear..
vega- Did you burned and put a big hole on my favorite shirt ?
Vannili -No Dear..
vega- You are a damned LIAR !!%&* I will leave you !!
Vannili - sobbing ,don't leave me Dearest, I did not do it,, the stupid hot iron did it..
Is that the way how these 90% women lied to you ? stk..stk..stk..
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| Honesty between couples
Posted: 5/9/2009 10:30:06 PM | Tell one lie and a thousand truths are questioned.
However, if you are running into this on a regular basis, the common denomonator is YOU.
However, I've found that men don't really like the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you God.
It's a vicious cycle. To end it, you must be willing to accept the truth, then find somone who is willing to always tell it....Like it or not. | |
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| Honesty between couples
Posted: 5/9/2009 10:32:54 PM | People pretty much get the people they attract. It's up to the individual to be street smart and know what to look for from the get go. In my view, some people may say they want honesty, but do they? And if it gets to the point where one has to leave them then somewhere at the beginning the message wasn't clear about NO lying allowed!!! Could it be some people overlook the obvious and get sucked into the sex and fun stuff? So make sure that when you say you dont want lies, that you man/woman up and accept the truth, which can be said in a civil tactful way.
~Beth~ | |
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| Honesty between couples
Posted: 5/9/2009 10:33:30 PM | OP, 90% rate. I blame you for choose them in the first place. You got bad eye sights! hahaha There are plenty of honest women to choose from....now go get your eye check please!  | |
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| Honesty between couples
Posted: 5/9/2009 10:38:42 PM | | Lying is wrong...it breaks trust...and if you don't have trust...the relationship is pointless...this applies to any relationship you have in your life ie. friends, partner, family, employers, clients, etc. | |
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| Honesty between couples
Posted: 5/9/2009 11:06:00 PM | | Also some lie to get what they want. If that happens an individual who was lied to, doesn't owe a deciever any explanation. They can man/woman up for themselves walk the he!! out and never look back. | |
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| Honesty between couples
Posted: 5/10/2009 12:34:09 AM |
a_chris79 ;Because they're women. Duh!
And some men dont lie?
~Beth~ | |
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| Honesty between couples
Posted: 5/10/2009 12:35:43 AM | Hehehe, Hi Beth.
Men are stupid at lying...women are sneaky.
At the risk of speaking bad about my sex, women are "smarter" when lying. | |
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776877
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Joined: 10/13/2007
Msg: 25 | |
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