| So my ex-girlfriend wants me back? (long story but I need advice)
Posted: 10/7/2006 5:35:18 PM | Hiyas!
I just moved back to my home town after being gone for about four years...
Before I left I had been dating a very nice lady for just over a year, things had been great with us and the relationship. Though being a college town the job market is the pits... At the time I wanted to make the money I deserve and felt worthless taking the crap jobs offered around here.
I had told my ex I was leaving to find a better job and to make something more of my life. I asked her to come with me but she would not leave... So I left... I stopped by her work every time I was home to visit my family and said hello and some small talk. I even asked her out once but every time she blew me off... So I just left it alone.
BTW: She works in a pharmacy in a local store.
Well I moved back, only to find myself sick with a cold... Seen the doc, got my prescription, went to the store to get it filled and there she was. Didn't have a chance to talk but about two days later she calls me up! (How did she get my new number?) I asked her and she told me she looked it up on the store database... Okay that explains that... Never the less she missed me and wanted to see me...
Well, why not I thought to myself... She stopped by we talked for hours and about serious things we had never really got to before... She talked about wanting to get married and have children and everything along those lines. It came out of left field on me but I feel the same way. Now she tells me she wants to see me and she misses me often when she calls but here's the kicker... She has a boyfriend, younger that both of us, which has been with her for almost all of the time I have been gone...
This is where I'm lost... Obviously I am not about to carry on a relationship with her while she's with this guy and yes it would be great to be back with her... So I told her that and that if she wants to be with me, she needs to make some choices... Well so far it's been almost two weeks and she's still calling me and vice-versa but every time she tells me she'll call me back it's like a day or two I'm left waiting... We made plans to talk face to face and twice now she's had something come up...
So, am I just being too much of a nice guy for wanting to try again and being kind enough to give her time and room to think? Is this pay backs for leaving back then? Should I just forget it and continue singles searching? (<---- it's really getting old right now...) | |
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| So my ex-girlfriend wants me back? (long story but I need advice)
Posted: 10/7/2006 5:39:43 PM | Sounds like she is wanting to get married. and might just be manipulating her past relationship with you to get what she wants from her current bf. the old, lets make him jelous so he asks me to marry him thing.
i say move on. someone can be better than no one, as long as the someone and you are the only people in the relationship. its time to put this love triangle to rest. | |
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Sigi
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Joined: 5/26/2005
Msg: 3 | |
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| So my ex-girlfriend wants me back? (long story but I need advice)
Posted: 10/7/2006 5:54:05 PM | Conceivably she is looking for the best offer.
The main question here is this: Do you want to marry her ?
Your likely answer is, "I would like to date first, see how things go."
This tells me that you are NOT ready to marry her.
So, WHAT DO YOU WANT ?
I would suggest asking her out on a date and see how that goes. She is NOT married and is NOT living with the other guy, so in my opinion, she IS available.
Go get her ! | |
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| So my ex-girlfriend wants me back? (long story but I need advice)
Posted: 10/7/2006 6:14:04 PM | Sigi:
See that's just it, she was never like this before... I have thought a few times lately that maybe this is just a "payback" but she talks about how we use to be and all of that and says she misses it... I'm not flattered by any means... Suprised, very much so.
I know I would be a fool to think I could come back and everything would be just the same as when I left. So that's why I don't mind being patient while she decides what she wants to do. Though I'm not about to wait too long, nor would I wait if I knew for sure if she's just busting my balls... Know what I mean?
WCM:
Truely I would be all for being back with her and if everything was as it should be I would be all for marrage. At this point I have been seeking to talk to her more and spend some time together to see if the chemistry is still there.
Annac:
But all in all, it makes me sick to think that after I get off the phone with her she might be calling her BF... :-P I'm all for putting that triangle to rest. I would be all too happy if she just gave me a straight answer tonight... if she ever calls back.
Moving on sounds better every minute... Finding another gal that has so much incommin and is as passionate is another story... | |
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Sigi
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Joined: 5/26/2005
Msg: 8 | |
| So my ex-girlfriend wants me back? (long story but I need advice)
Posted: 10/7/2006 6:26:11 PM | Hmm...it seems like her actions speaks louder than her words....
I would be all too happy if she just gave me a straight answer tonight... if she ever calls back
I always wonder why waiting for the response of the other, instead of taking control of it yourself.
And you know what....it feels so much better to do so....guaranteed! (-; | |
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| So my ex-girlfriend wants me back? (long story but I need advice)
Posted: 10/7/2006 6:39:33 PM | If she doesnt wear his engagement or wedding ring, or live with him, shes not off the market. So shes available. But make sure one Is ended before another begins, crossing that line Is not appropriate.
I wouldnt sit and wait, Its more likely she just cant stand the thought of being alone so shes lining up another before the other ends..
But Incase this Is love .. give her a set time frame to tidy up her loose ends with him, let her know you will start dating and If nothings done and shes still stalling you on that time frame - move on shes just playing you both. | |
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| So my ex-girlfriend wants me back? (long story but I need advice)
Posted: 10/7/2006 6:46:14 PM | It seems to me that she is trying to scam someone, anyone, somthing, into marrying her. And you dont need that. Dont sit around waiting for her to call. Go out, meet new people, you are wasting your time sitting by the phone waiting for her to make up her mind who she wants to be with today.
You are a very attractive man, You dont need this woman in your life, you could easily go out and find another woman that would treat you well, respect you and not try to con you into marrying her!
Good luck.
Funnyhunne | |
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| So my ex-girlfriend wants me back? (long story but I need advice)
Posted: 10/7/2006 7:00:48 PM | Targus169:
You pretty much took the words out of my mouth there... As for a time frame... Well, shoot I guess I just have to be a jerk then huh... Like another week seem like too long? Since it has been two...
Funnyhunne: *BLUSH* Where you been all my life? 
Thanks for the feed back everyone...:bye: | |
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| So my ex-girlfriend wants me back? (long story but I need advice)
Posted: 10/7/2006 9:42:09 PM | Ok........let me see if I got this right....... you been gone 4 Years, she's been with her B/F almost 4 Years, she's your EX. You were going to meet on two occasions, to discuss getting back together, she did not show-up on both occasions !!! You moved back to your town, I guess the Jobs pay better now, or you came back a millionare.
I bet she is doing all this behind her boyfriend's back........., sounds like she wants to break-up with her mate. She'll even go to the extent of cheating on him with you, before the break-up.
Once you help her break-up with her present boyfriend, you are going to be history. If I were in your shoes, I would just forget this "Very Nice Lady", and keep searching.
Good Luck.............."Run-Real-Fast"..................... | |
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| So my ex-girlfriend wants me back? (long story but I need advice)
Posted: 10/8/2006 12:17:46 AM | To the people that keep saying she is availible....she has been with another guy for how long? If I had been dating and in a relationship with a woman for that long of time, and she tells me she went on a date with another guy, that is a finished relationship.
If I were you, I would leave her alone, and if I was her bf, I would leave her. | |
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| So my ex-girlfriend wants me back? (long story but I need advice)
Posted: 10/8/2006 12:39:57 AM | I dont think there is anything wrong with you or your judgement so far. After all she approached you and this was all her idea.
You did the right thing by telling her to make some choices, however you should put a time frame on that. Sounds like you both have left it 'open' and thats a bad idea. This way she feels she has all the time in the world and she needs to realise you are person with feelings as well. After all SHE brought this up with you and initiated it, [ which she shouldnt really have done whilst still with someone else but I will leave that alone for now] so now she needs to carry through. Next time you do meet or talk, ask her outright if she intends to break up with her b/f and how much time does she need. You have a right to ask these questions as you are in the equation. Dont let it be " all about her" and don't let her get away with " not sure" Get something definite like a week or whatever and then back off until she does it
If she keeps blowing you off though and wont meet you, and cant agree to break off with the b/f I would say she is playing games and I would be sorry to see that happen to you
If she really wanted to be with you, she would be breaking it off with the b/f as soon as she could. I think another week is plenty - shes had two so far. Whats she been doing all that time???
As for you looking at other people in the meantime, I cant see why not if she takes too long to make up her mind. But also consider this...would you be short-changing someone you met next though by having all these thoughts about your ex in your head? Might not be fair on the next girl you meet....just a thought. | |
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| So my ex-girlfriend wants me back? (long story but I need advice)
Posted: 10/8/2006 3:32:41 PM | sounds like she wants to trade in a used car or something.........
hoosierman.....move forward with your life don't look back. Sometime ago you asked this lady once to go with you, she said no, right? I feel you could be getting caught up in some drama here....and, you might get a knock on the door from the boyfriend too and end up doing some caveman stuff....lol.
run......run like a deer....lol.....start dating some different women.....the past is the past....okay?
of course opinions vary....
0:)
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