| Wanting drama free relationships, but living vicariously.
Posted: 10/8/2006 5:25:53 AM | Many of the profiles I look at on this and other sites talk about “Drama.” I am sure you have all seen these: “I run from Drama” or “You must be Drama free” or other variations. I also make the assumption that the profiles that don’t say these things are probably not looking to intentionally put drama into their lives. Drama is hard to deal with and mentally exhausting, so most don’t seek it out.
Because of a number of circumstances beyond my control, I recently watched all 6 disks of “Grey’s Anatomy.” I’ll admit that even though the show is kind of depressing, it seems to reflect the real state of many people’s relationships. Most of the characters seem to be miserable and confused most of the time as to what they really want.
So, here is my question: If most people aspire to drama-free relationships, why are programs that allow us to live vicariously in a drama filled situation so hugely popular? Do we need the release of seeing people in painful situations to relieve the boredom and pain in our own lives?
BTW- I only posted this in “Ask a Girl” because it doesn’t seem to fit anywhere else and women tend to be more drawn to these types of programs than men. If any men have gotten hooked on these types of shows, I would be interested in your opinion as well. | |
|
| Wanting drama free relationships, but living vicariously.
Posted: 10/8/2006 6:30:31 AM | Interesting question, OP!
I don't watch that program so I don't know what it is about, but normally I dislike TV "dramas". The only TV I watch is news, and "Lost"...I like sci-fi. :) But I suppose that girls like those dramas because it reflects their life, and makes them feel like they aren't alone in having problems. As well, I think people in general are rather negative...and so enjoy seeing/talking about negative aspects of life/relationships more than the positive ones. Just look through these boards...the threads with the most replies are usually the ones that are about something negative! People just like to b!tch. :) I personally hate drama and am not drawn into it at all, and if I meet someone that I would consider to be a dramatic person (drama queen) I wouldn't even consider being their friend and would aviod them if possible.
I think my life is much more interesting than anything on TV or in other people's lives, so I feel it't quite enough!! | |
|
| Wanting drama free relationships, but living vicariously.
Posted: 10/8/2006 6:52:36 AM | Great thread!
I do not watch Grey's Anatomy, but I think dramas are popular in general because some people may take comfort in seeing that the "beautiful" characters on TV have just as many problems with all of life's entanglements that the watcher does.
Hugs & Sunshine....Daisyrays | |
|
| Wanting drama free relationships, but living vicariously.
Posted: 10/8/2006 7:09:18 AM | So, here is my question: If most people aspire to drama-free relationships, why are programs that allow us to live vicariously in a drama filled situation so hugely popular? Do we need the release of seeing people in painful situations to relieve the boredom and pain in our own lives? For many people there is no contradicition as many do enjoy real life emotional drama -- weird to say... They don't think it would be a real relationship without huge rows and make-up sex. And similarly, many don't enjoy emotional rollercoasters either in films or in real life.
For those that like fictional emotional dramatics but not real life ones, well... My dad has always said that watching things like that make him appreciate his own quiet life more. I think there's truth in that but it's also that people simply enjoy no-risk thrills -- like on rollercoasters and in horror films. It gets the adrenaline going without fear of the negative aftershocks and damage of a real event. | |
|
| Wanting drama free relationships, but living vicariously.
Posted: 10/8/2006 8:12:35 AM | I think one of the core aspects of humanity is that we're social animals and have been sharing stories since the dawn of language through myths, legends, fairy tales, literature, etc. Millenia ago, people sat around fires telling tales of heroes and misadventures; now people stand around the proverbial water cooler to discuss the latest episode of popular TV shows...or read/respond to the forums here on POF.
I agree that some probably derive a certain comfort from relating to fictional characters, and there could also be an element of schadenfreude. For the most part, I think it's a case of being part of humanity...people just like stories, whether in "real time" or on TV.
Just my coupla pennies
 | |
|
| Wanting drama free relationships, but living vicariously.
Posted: 10/8/2006 7:17:46 PM | | Well I don't watch that tv show,Watched it once and once was enough.I think most of the people on thease site want just the opisite of what they say they don't want.So if one says No Drama they reall want Drama in their lives.If one says must not do drugs they realy want recreational drugs and if one says must not be marrier Guess what they really want.Well I'm not a phycigologiest but that is my opinion for what it is worth. | |
|
| Wanting drama free relationships, but living vicariously.
Posted: 10/8/2006 8:48:43 PM | | If I didn't watch Grey's Anatomy I'd have nothing to talk about at work on Friday at work LOL. I don't see anything wrong with a little drama - I can be a bit overly-passionate at times, but hey - that's me. I don't go overboard with dramatics and am only when I think it really counts. | |
|
| Wanting drama free relationships, but living vicariously.
Posted: 10/8/2006 11:52:22 PM | Very simple, really.
a LOT of people enjoy watching OTHER PEOPLE'S drama. they just don't want it in their OWN lives.
Me, I'm a comedy guy. Keep Gray's, I'll take scrubs.
As a rule, i don't watch hospital shows. I worked in them for too long, and it doesn't entertain me to be reminded of work.
but i make an exception for scrubs. | |
|
e-wok
|
Joined: 9/25/2006
Msg: 9 | |
| Wanting drama free relationships, but living vicariously.
Posted: 10/8/2006 11:59:08 PM |
If most people aspire to drama-free relationships, why are programs that allow us to live vicariously in a drama filled situation so hugely popular?
Maybe it's an outlet so we don't create such drama's in our own lives. | |
|
| Wanting drama free relationships, but living vicariously.
Posted: 10/9/2006 7:33:22 AM |
If most people aspire to drama-free relationships, why are programs that allow us to live vicariously in a drama filled situation so hugely popular?
With this logic, it would seem appropriate to assume that people who watch horror movies wish to live vicariously in such situations as well... that simply isn't the case. Quite often people are watching television for the entertainment value provided by shows and movies. A break from the monotony of real life in many instances...
And I'm not sure what genre exactly the show you've referenced is as I don't watch television and rarely watch movies either. Immersing myself in a good book is much more interesting and I don't limit myself to a single genre either... but it is a break for me as well, and a satisfying past-time... | |
|
| Wanting drama free relationships, but living vicariously.
Posted: 10/9/2006 7:59:14 AM | | One's life and the other's television. I wouldn't want to really be a doctor or a lawyer or a detective or a spy, wouldn't want a life of danger or of life-and-death decisions, but I like watching TV shows about all those things. Dramatic relationships are just more more thing that someone might like as fiction but not want as their real life. | |
|
| Wanting drama free relationships, but living vicariously.
Posted: 10/9/2006 12:10:18 PM | I love horror movies... I'm delighted by the senseless killing of mass amounts of people in cool ways.
Does that mean I want to murder people? Wish for people to be murdered? or want it to happen in real life? Not a chance. In fact, I hope "must not be a serial killer" is implied in my profile.
I think this genre is a little more cut and dry than dramas on TV... but same deal to me anyways. | |
|
| Wanting drama free relationships, but living vicariously.
Posted: 10/9/2006 10:01:15 PM | I think that the horror movie example, although not really what I am talking about, is also a way of living vicariously. Obviously, no one would choose to be put in those types of situations and we generally identify with the victims (although who hasn't wished for the really stupid or annoying charachter to be killed next?). Horror's popularity, I beleive, stems from the endocrinal (sp?) response that those films trigger. Adrenaline is pumped into the system, causing measurable physiological changes that can be quite exciting.
Drama, especially of the emotional or relationship type, should not trigger the same type of responses. I found the show extreamly depressing, but strangely compelling. At least enough that I watched all the available episodes. My question was more geared towards understanding why watching people in emotional distress can be considered entertainment. Are we all pain voyeurs? Like slowing down to look at the car accident? | |
|
| Wanting drama free relationships, but living vicariously.
Posted: 9/19/2008 12:31:54 PM | That's just a bunch of crapola (not your post but the claim).
When I read that somebody has written "drama free-bullsh*t free" in their partner search, I inmediately see some subliminal messages in the light of "I am a fool with a turbulent past and little patience who doesn't know how to handle my situations with honesty and clarity, so I end up creating drama and all can do is run away and complain about it".
In other words, when someone claims they don't want drama, I automatically read chicken.
Those who sincerely are not about drama do not need to state it. They just keep going about life strutting their cool, accepting that some will like them and some just won't, being gracious about things not always being their way, and being honest and upfront about their feelings and intentions.
I find it very hard to believe that a real straight up man would ever have to state that he is not about drama.
Regarding your question, I can't speak for others. I don't watch soap operas nor variations of it, I would rather watch comedies. And Grey's Anatomy would have many other reasons for being watched other than the drama. McDreamy, for example. | |
|
| Wanting drama free relationships, but living vicariously.
Posted: 9/19/2008 1:05:02 PM | | I like drama, I just don't want it in my life. It's one thing to watch drama unfolding, you don't have to deal with it really, you're just observing. When drama happens in your life, then it can cause a lot of stress (ie: you have to make decisions about what you're going to do when drama happens, when you break up it's sad, blablabla). | |
|
| |
| Wanting drama free relationships, but living vicariously.
Posted: 9/19/2008 2:08:56 PM | OP: Watching drama, rather than living it... well, it's best exemplified by the relative definitions of tragedy and comedy: comedy is a tragedy that happens to someone else.
See, by watching drama, people can always feel that at least their own lives aren't that bad, because they aren't dealing with that much drama.
And yeah, there is that strange compulsion most people have to watch a train wreck... | |
|
| Wanting drama free relationships, but living vicariously.
Posted: 9/19/2008 4:24:13 PM | I definately think there is such a thing as "too much drama" and people who are WAY too dramatic....but to say you don't want ANY drama in your life...that's crazy!!
Life is full of drama and not all of it's bad. Falling in love is drama. A really romantic marriage proposal is drama. A big fancy wedding...HUGE drama. The birth of a child. Raising a family...if you think that's not ripe with drama you're nuts! We'd all like to avoid the unpleasant types of drama but to live drama free? How awful to miss out on that much life. Be careful what you wish for. | |
|
| Wanting drama free relationships, but living vicariously.
Posted: 9/19/2008 6:47:00 PM | Just look at those who watch Jerry Springer. I don't know why anyone wants to watch it, but to each his own. I get my drama in other ways....a bike ride, a customer I want to strangle at work, a lizard that ends up costing me a mint in vet bills since he's geriatric (whodathunk a lizard could get advanced arthritis??  ), you know...normal life stuff. ;-) | |
|
| |
| Wanting drama free relationships, but living vicariously.
Posted: 9/20/2008 7:02:41 PM | Drama is fun on TV, sucks in real life. I had to get through the last year of my divorce and schooling with quite a bit of drama (ex kept dragging me in court to try and take the kids) and it wore me the heck out. Things would calm down for a few weeks, I'd feel fairly calm and then I'd get another letter from ex's lawyer.
He was so drama, his own lawyer fired him LOL!
Fine on TV - so sucks in real life. | |
|
Home
login 
