| Cheating and Private Investigators
Posted: 10/8/2006 9:45:13 AM | | Was watching this tv show last nite and got to thinking. If you suspected you SO of cheating, would you entertain hiring a private investigator to have it confirmed? This show did the actual confrontation between the two parties. I thought to myself "what a sad way to end a relationship" what with it being on tv. So my question to you would be? Would you in fact hire someone to confirm your suspicions??? | |
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| Cheating and Private Investigators
Posted: 10/8/2006 9:49:45 AM | Oh....was this the show called "Cheaters"?!? What I love most, is that during the commercial breaks, they always have advertisements for the "Ashley something or other....", a place for those who are bored in their relationships to get in touch with others for a good time! Double grrrr!!!!
If there's a problem within a relationship, at least have the nads to work it out yourself and communicate... I would never bring others into the mix, especially a private investigator because either way (cheating or not...) that pretty much signifies the end of it. There's obviously a lack of trust, respect and communication by that point... | |
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| Cheating and Private Investigators
Posted: 10/8/2006 9:58:33 AM | | Kit I considered hiring one to confirm my suspicions but instead I just listened to my gut instincts and followed him and caught him in the act literally. There was no denying it when they both were naked. They weren't just talking anymore now were they? | |
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| Cheating and Private Investigators
Posted: 10/8/2006 10:00:12 AM | LMAO I think that show is sooooo funny - I love how they say they were doing nothing when they have 5 cameras on them!!!  | |
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*Tee*
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Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 5 | |
| Cheating and Private Investigators
Posted: 10/8/2006 10:09:30 AM | | If I'm seeing somebody, and I have a suspicion that something isn't right, for the most part its my gut telling me something. I wouldn't bother with the investigator, if that feeling was overpowering, I'd get out of there....I've been right in the past and thats my way of determining if its worth going on with the relationship.. | |
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| Cheating and Private Investigators
Posted: 10/8/2006 10:20:00 AM | Not to mention at the end of the show they also advertise meeting ppl on their own site. please! The show is good enough for a laugh anyhow.
Back on track..i don't need a PI....I am pretty good at it myself and have helped others as well with finding out the dirt on their SO. If there was something I couldn't do myself, sure I would consider it but I think once you have the gut feeling, it is usually right. | |
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| Cheating and Private Investigators
Posted: 10/8/2006 12:17:55 PM | Who didn't like reading Sherlock Holmes or Mr Poirot?! I did and with passion! Sadly, one time in my life, I turned once for real into this low profile character and gathered evidence. There was just too much in stake (dignity, family, child, health ... and love, my love).
In these days, if something doesn't make sense, is not transparent, evasive or elusive ... let it be and let live! Joie de vivre is my kind of music! | |
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| Cheating and Private Investigators
Posted: 10/8/2006 1:02:02 PM | There are a dozen sites on the Net many (canadian) as well that allow you to do a background check on ANYONE ...
I used it once and I am glad I did !!!!!
(other dating site)
total cost for my safety ? ''''''''''> $25 | |
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| Cheating and Private Investigators
Posted: 10/8/2006 1:55:00 PM | | Would I hire some-one.....nope! I can do my own investigating. As for public disclosure..nope..........end it privately!! | |
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| Cheating and Private Investigators
Posted: 10/8/2006 1:55:17 PM | LOL Oh my now is there some wonderings going on with someones {SO }
Well first thing if your wonderin then do something like confronting whom ever your dating with this . As first off it is cheaper and saves time. But if your afraid to confront them then yeah try to follow them with out them knowing you are .
As for hiring someone that could get costly for sure . As for these online Background checking places well all I can say is if they only check on line then theres no way to prove what ever they find if it is true or not true or if their findings are up todate.
So best to just come right out and confront whom ever it is or try to follow them and get first hand details .
Then if their cheatin then scream /**** /bite scratch /kick some ass and then say hit the road rat bag and kick em to the curb . And if needed toss em on the 401 for defensive drivers training for on coming vechicles !  | |
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| Cheating and Private Investigators
Posted: 10/8/2006 2:43:41 PM | If I had good reason to suspect it, then I would dump his ass faster then he could say, "Baby, I was just at my moms all night."
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| Cheating and Private Investigators
Posted: 10/8/2006 3:43:12 PM | | In some instance's a PI investigator is merrited they'll get you the clouser you need and the facts too confront the guilty partys, they are profesional's in what they do, I guess its not just about finding out about the two guilty partys but gathering facts incase it is brought too court. | |
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| Cheating and Private Investigators
Posted: 10/8/2006 3:46:50 PM | I would never have a private investigator hired. Some people are way too stupid to cover their tracks that easily.
If I suspect, then I investigate myself. It really isnt all that hard, and he is not really the wiser. | |
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| Cheating and Private Investigators
Posted: 10/8/2006 4:04:21 PM | Kit .. I always give complete trust to the women in my life.
but if I suspected that she is doing the dirty behind my back - I don't need to hire anyone because she will have all the freedome she needs to do what she wants ...
My door only swings one way when it comes to that stuff ... out. | |
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| Cheating and Private Investigators
Posted: 10/10/2006 6:44:52 PM | Ok.. gotta wade in on this one
First... I was the PI (part of my job) for a lot of years and I stopped doing "domestics" for two reasons
One.. It made me feel sleasy
Two.. the last domestic I did (1986)... suspicious phone calls... hang ups...unusually late from work.. etc etc... Turned out to be the husband trying to buy his wife a caddilac for her birthday. The phone calls were from the dealership, the bank and his insurance broker all of whom had been sworn to secrecy.. I gave her her money back, shook my head and told her in a week or so she was going to feel really foolish. She called me on her birthday and swore ME to secrecy.
As a lot of you have stated here, trust your own feelings but verify if it makes you comfy. There's very few PI's worth thier salt who will even do that kind of work any more but plenty who will take and spend(?) the four to five grand retainer they will ask you for.
Personally... if I can't trust a partner 100% without reservation... I'm history. | |
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| Cheating and Private Investigators
Posted: 10/10/2006 7:00:45 PM | If you suspect it, it is true. Save your money.
The show is called "Cheaters." It is the lowest of the low, of reality television. | |
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| Cheating and Private Investigators
Posted: 10/10/2006 7:50:40 PM |
The show is called "Cheaters." It is the lowest of the low, of reality television.
I thought your face looked familiar!!!! | |
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| Cheating and Private Investigators
Posted: 10/11/2006 9:18:54 AM | I wouldn't hire one, not only because I know how it feels...after I broke up with my ex, he hired one to find out if I had started seeing anyone directly after him - it's an invasion of privacy, you don't feel safe knowing someone knows your every move, and everything about your days, it's just creepy. People with low self-esteem and who don't know how to communicate hire someone else to do their dirty work.
Personally if I felt someone was cheating, it would have to be a pretty damn good reason to make me suspect them of that. And that reason is what would be kicking them in the butt on their way out of my life. | |
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| Cheating and Private Investigators
Posted: 10/11/2006 10:04:51 AM | Nope I wouldn't pay anyone money to find out if I'm being cheated on.
After experiencing the effects of a cheater.. I have vowed that any relationship I am in, if I feel at all insecure there is no relationship. I deserve to never feel insecure in my relationship with whomever I am exclusive with. | |
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Thyme
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Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 20 | |
| Cheating and Private Investigators
Posted: 10/11/2006 10:13:12 AM | | The thing about cheaters is that they are liars and cowards. First your gut tells you there is something wrong but when you confront the SO they say there isn't a problem. They want both (the cake and eat it too). You immediately go into denial because you don't want it to end, (caveat here, depends on the relationship). Depending on the nature of the affair for your own safety if you can't get the truth and you want to save your relationship for reasons such as kids, financial, security or whatever it is. sometimes the P.I. is the route to go. Mind you it isn't for everyone. People cheat on their SO while maintaining intimate contact with the SO (how disgusting is that). You would hope that your SO would be respectful to just move on when the first hint of cheating starts but that doesn't always happen. When there is property and other things involved then what do you do. It isn't illegal to cheat just immoral but it doesn't favour for you in a court of law unfortunately. The great thing about P.I.'s is that you have all the ammunition to confront the person and perhaps try to sort things out or to end it. Costly, absolutely but well worth it. You would be surprised at just what a SO considers cheating. We all remember Bill Clinton's denial. An international couple, what would you do? Cheating is very often not a sexual relationship it can be of an emotional kind which is far more devastating than sexual sometimes. Would I hire a P.I., probably not, I'm the kind of person who would just rather end things and move on. Life is too short, don't waste your tears or money on someone who wouldn't do the same. | |
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| Cheating and Private Investigators
Posted: 10/11/2006 11:34:10 AM |
...the commercial breaks, they always have advertisements for the "Ashley something or other....", a place for those who are bored in their relationships to get in touch with others for a good time! Double grrrr!!!!
Yup Jenni-Pooh - you are so right! Ashley Madison!! Now in the words of Alanis Morisette - "Isn't that ironic!" | |
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| Cheating and Private Investigators
Posted: 10/11/2006 11:53:25 AM | Back on track..i don't need a PI....I am pretty good at it myself and have helped others as well with finding out the dirt on their SO. If there was something I couldn't do myself, sure I would consider it but I think once you have the gut feeling, it is usually right.
I agree with you on this 100% Still, I have had the gut feeling, did some looking around and it was true, he was cheating.. | |
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| Cheating and Private Investigators
Posted: 10/11/2006 12:29:13 PM | | See Kel? You did exactly what I would do if in that situation! If you are close enough to your S.O., then I would think you would "feel" something was not right and just do some investigating of your own. And yes, this post came about as a result of the show "Cheaters". I myself think it is rather trashy when they broadcast the results in the end. Shows little respect for the person cheatin or the one being cheated on! | |
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| Cheating and Private Investigators
Posted: 10/11/2006 1:28:10 PM | | Put it this way, a man can't use the phone to call another woman if you are there, but he sure can take his cell phone in the washroom and text whoever, so I waited til he was asleep and checked his text messages..Not proud to say this, but that man wore his cell phone But I'm over that chapter of my life and moved on....... | |
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| Cheating and Private Investigators
Posted: 10/11/2006 2:57:25 PM | | if you have gotten to the point of hiring an investgator...its over anyway......you dont trust him/her.(possibly with good reason)walk away. | |
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