| teenage suicide
Posted: 10/10/2006 5:05:16 AM | | i am here for your advice yet again, seem to be finding myself asking for a lot of advice from people at present. can someone please tell me how do you cope when someone you love very much, someone you would die for yourself, someone who is your 19 year old son tries to end his life. this only happened on this weekend, so is still very upsetting for me. i have been told that when he comes home i am to go back to normal, how do you do this. i watched my son dying in front of me, they even prepared me for his death, which i could never be prepared for. he is very lucky and is on the way to recovery, but to go back to normal, how do you stop yourself from, i guess being a over protective mother now | |
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| teenage suicide
Posted: 10/10/2006 5:11:16 AM | | Poptone...I don't really have words of comfort for you apart from the fact that if you need support, I can be contacted anytime. I am sorry, this is so inadequate.....this is a shock.... | |
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| teenage suicide
Posted: 10/10/2006 5:23:41 AM | Poptone I am really sorry and I mean it from my heart. when I read your post my heart sank, I've experienced a suicide in my family, not teenager so my heart and thoughts are with you. It is traumatic as you would know but believe it when I say your son and you will grow from this. I know they are words just for now, but trust me and have faith and believe in him.
You can contact me if you want to, believe me I know exactly what you are going through, but hold tight you have your son, that is the most important thing is that you have him with you now to hold and cuddle in your arms. | |
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| teenage suicide
Posted: 10/10/2006 5:26:15 AM | im the same as the others i dont have answers for you... there was a lady in the single parents section that has recently gone thru this as well...
i pulled think link for her to try and understand the going ons about why they might do it.
http://www.beyondblue.org.au/index.aspx?link_id=12#suicide
contact beyond blue youth they will be able to help you and give you the support you need or at least be able to point you in the right direction.
sorry for you having to go thru this. i have seen many friends parents deal with it, and i have lost a few friends to it as well. everyone handles things in their own way. | |
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| teenage suicide
Posted: 10/10/2006 5:48:25 AM | What did he try to suicide over??
An abusive gf who dumped him.???
You go out and do some digging and round him up a dozen potential gf's. I doubt that any of them will be to his taste long term but the gesture from you means plenty. It shows that you care. He wll notice that.
Why else did he try to suicide. drugs? Wrong crowd? Get him into your crowd or dig up anothe crowd that will suit him. | |
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| teenage suicide
Posted: 10/10/2006 1:23:09 PM | sorry..all my best for you son...you know i mean it...
ghosts from the past need to be dealt with..
might help you, your luv life, and your kids...take care...
john c. | |
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| teenage suicide
Posted: 10/10/2006 3:41:08 PM | /quote dont force him to talk to you, he will do that when hes ready
You dont cope, but i dont think you should wait till he confides in you, no matter what anyone else tells you... he hasnt been communicating with people.. thats why he bottles it up till its too unbearable and henceforth tries to do himself in,, he HAS to open up to you , i think its up to YOU to sit him down and get the lines of communication open, dont leave it up to him he wont talk to you if hes gotten so far as to end it.....you have to take control of him, as he cant.. i cant believe anyone would say that he will talk when hes ready cos He Wont be ready thats why hes in hospital ,, i wouldnt wait.. and dont bother about counsellors, theyre too institutionalised, read everything out of a book with limited experience,
if you need to see someone to get clarity see a psychologist, a life is at stake dont f it up | |
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| teenage suicide
Posted: 10/10/2006 4:05:54 PM | I really feel for you poptone. I have an idea of what you're going through but as CC said you do need to turn to professionals and people you know best for support and advice.
And poptone, don't forget to about taking care of yourself...very important too.
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| teenage suicide
Posted: 10/10/2006 4:06:18 PM | | I didnt talk to my daughter she bottled it up , now she claws at her stomach to get rid of the cameras that she thinks the doctors put inside her, thats y i have that stance | |
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| teenage suicide
Posted: 10/10/2006 4:35:22 PM | I was exactly like this 5 years ago I went to this place near the melbourne zoo and was attending there for about 2 months with a group sessions with other people my age we just had fun and talked for 2 hours a week and a few months later i was almost out of it then after that i was fully recovered and i was happy once again it was weird how talking with and spending time with other people like me makes you realise why was i thinking it in the first place when its silly because when your dead you have nothing you cant enjoy life like you can when your living and we all have so many things to live for and someone in the group said this to me "Enjoy Life You have plenty of time to be dead" I now live by that.
yes things will upset you in life and you will feel depressed but there are soo many ways you can overcome it and start to enjoy life again | |
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| teenage suicide
Posted: 10/10/2006 11:39:04 PM | | true but my parents forced me to talk and then i talked to both them and other people my age and thats i think what changed me seeing life from both point of views | |
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| teenage suicide
Posted: 10/11/2006 4:30:04 AM | | thank you ruckman, i know you are right and i know you mean it, the ghosts of the past are at this moment being dealt with for my son. my ghosts of the past are just that, ghosts. | |
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| teenage suicide
Posted: 10/11/2006 4:50:57 AM | | i see some things in what you say robby and i see also things that dream says. i have relationship with my kids that anything can be discussed. but it does not always work, who wants their mother to know everything, i know i didnt when i was this age. i talk to all my children, but i cannot force them to tell me what is wrong if they do not want me to know, they are young adults now. my son is getting professional help and though i am impatient to have him home, i have to trust that these people can help him. i let him know everyday that i love him and that no matter what, i am forever here for him and i will always be | |
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| teenage suicide
Posted: 10/16/2006 6:26:33 AM | hello Poptone.
Iam sorry that this is happening to you. Iwas assulted at H,Jacks Belmont by a teenager,I think. was tense and not happy with my self before hand.I pressed charges. He suicided within 2 weeks.I felt a bit down. I did do the right thing,so I am not to blame.I guess I can only be happy within myself,keep at peace with myself,love myself, be easy going ,tolerant and approachable.Others who then come into my sphere will be positively 'charged.'
I do believe that all humans should be wanted and loved valued and intergral. If say, kids and wimin are valued at the expense of adult males this may have a deleterious effect on kids as they grow. I think experts are over rated. good to start with being at one with yourself, nature and God(as you perceive him to be).Good effort will get its reward. | |
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| teenage suicide
Posted: 12/28/2006 12:17:57 AM | so are things working out OK Poptone and krool?
a lot of people do care | |
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| teenage suicide
Posted: 12/28/2006 6:20:33 PM | | yes thank you ruckman, he seems to be on the road to recovery. and thank you for caring enough to ask, merry xmas and a better new year | |
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| teenage suicide
Posted: 12/28/2006 7:21:21 PM | i do apologises i should have been more specific in my original posts.
yes Angel as you said talking does help, but being forced to talk doesnt.
most teens will find solice in talking to others their own age and with similar problems rather than being forced by their parents to talk.
==================================
Will they Dream????
My limited knowledge of suicide is that the biggest problem is this total feeling of isolation. (Applies to other problems like drug abuse and alcholism too) The people don't think that they can TALK to anybody about it.
It's OK for the popular teens but these suicide cases are often outcasts.
There's a tough Salvos lady in one of the drug hospitals bullies recovering junkies into talking about thier problems, not by the usual preaching, but by ASKING them about thier problems. This technique works superbly with her as, being Salvo, she can't possibly understand the kind of grip the drugs get on you. But, by getting the junikies to answer her questions they often find answers to their own problems too. | |
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| teenage suicide
Posted: 12/29/2006 4:39:46 AM | | I have a friend who attempted sucide, it would seem that it is closly linked to depression. Depression is very common. The step perhaps is serious depression and a loss of connection/communication wiht the freind-Mother-father-social group, whatever...many people attmept it..you are not alone...in reference to Sparticus..looks likes the tough Salvo helped because she connected... | |
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| teenage suicide
Posted: 12/29/2006 8:55:19 PM | Poptone...glad to hear that your son is doing better. I have a son that is 19 and worries the family because of his choices, attitudes and such...I find that it is best to let him know that he is loved, respected and free to make his own choices because it is his life...not mine, his sibblings or grand-parents, etc. It is however a very fine line that he walks, but I do make sure that he knows I am available should he want or need me. I am fortunate because he has a good support network ...his girl-friend's family, his friends, Tafe, us , music, etc...
However that said, children are full of surprises and I beleive the best gift that we can give them as well as love is...to respect their right to make their own choices in life. | |
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| teenage suicide
Posted: 1/10/2007 5:29:53 PM | Hi poptone,
Just like every one else i'm really sorry to hear about your son. my 17 year old sister was in the same situation 6 weeks ago, my for year old baby found her outside on the ground after trying to odea. luckily i found her in time and shes getting better now and i know your son will to, just keep doing what your doing. | |
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| teenage suicide
Posted: 1/14/2007 4:44:31 AM | Hi Poptone,
A very dear friend committed suicide just before Easter last year. He was like a son to me and my ex. He had just turned 18 and decided that his life was not worth living.
I believe that all suicides are the end stage of depression. This may seem a bit melodramatic and may be difficult to understand if you have not experienced yourself or someone close to you in the deep despair that depression becomes.
I was shattered on hearing of S's death but no matter how I felt I cannot begin to experience the loss and grief that his parents and sister have been through.
I am glad to hear that your son is better. I'm posting this link in the hope that you or other may find this helpful http://www.whitewreath.com/
Despair comes from loss of hope, feeling that your life cannot change for the better, that your life does not have any meaning or that the world would be better off without you.
If you can let them know and see that all of these things are false then there is a chance for them. While there is hope there are possibilities for change. Change can become change for the better. The life of every one of us, but specially loved ones, are very special and important and their loss will be felt greatly.
Let them know this. Help them to avoid isolation. Yes encourage them to talk about what is troubling them. Get professional help for them but most of all let them know that the love you have for them, is just for them and that without them to receive it, it will be wasted and all of their loved ones will be diminished by their absence.
Another great organisation has this to say about change for the better. "Only you can do it. But you cant do it alone."
see http://www.grow.net.au/
Teenage friends can be very helpful caring and supportive and are to be encouraged, however they need to be shown that sometimes they have to seek the additional help of adults who may be in a better position to help or take necessary action which they (due to their limited experience may not even be aware is available.
This very simple lesson I believe should be tought to teenagers as part of their schooling. They are in a great position to help each other (and do so) but need to be helped to distinguish between when the best strategy is to continue to support their friend trying to deal with their problems alone, and when it should be to get help for the friend.
Sorry for the long post.
N. | |
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azza82
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Joined: 8/12/2006
Msg: 22 | |
| teenage suicide
Posted: 1/24/2007 4:19:25 AM | | I've been through my own problems which were very severe but I won't discuss on here and they were pretty awful but the thing that helped me get out of it was just time and my family. It's one of those tricky things that no one can understand some people are more sensitive to the world then others and they really do not like what they see although I don't know what the circumstances are so i'm gonna shut up now... | |
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| teenage suicide
Posted: 5/28/2007 12:35:52 AM | ^^^ It sounds like your brain is even smaller.......muppet!! | |
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