| How old is old enough to stay at home alone?
Posted: 10/10/2006 11:58:03 AM | This is a question I have based on another thread, whereby a mother left her 9 year old and two year old in the house when she went out for a couple of hours. I also searched and did not find any similar question asked.
How old is old enough to be left alone for a few hours? Please note I am not talking about all night long, let's say for the sake of argument 3 hours on a Saturday night. I was 9/just turned 10 the first time my parents left me alone on a Saturday night, because I was taller than the babysitter and they felt I was responsible enough to stay up until they got home and obey the rules. We would watch a movie, have some chips with dip, no biggie. I had a younger sister I took care of, not to mention we stayed home alone from after school until my mom got home at 5:30 from work, Dad at 6, starting in Grade 6.
What are everyone else's views on this? | |
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| How old is old enough to stay at home alone?
Posted: 10/10/2006 12:02:34 PM | | I don't think there's any set age, kids vary so much around that age. Some can be very responsible, while others cannot. I was about 9 when I started staying at home alone for short periods of time. | |
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hera
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Joined: 5/26/2006
Msg: 3 | |
| How old is old enough to stay at home alone?
Posted: 10/10/2006 12:08:03 PM | | Ten years old during the day, while you go to the grocery store in your neighbourhood kind-of-thing. Alot of nine and ten year olds are still afraid to be left alone at home in the dark, let alone in charge of another child at the same time. At eleven, I'd say most kids would be ready to be alone for a few hours at night alone. "Legally" it's eleven. I say twelve at night, while in charge of other children. | |
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| How old is old enough to stay at home alone?
Posted: 10/10/2006 1:04:01 PM | | When my oldest son was 10 I called the county welfare I lived in and asked them the age and they said it was based more on how mature they are. That was 12 years ago, but I would say , if you don't know the legal age, call the county you live in. | |
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| How old is old enough to stay at home alone?
Posted: 10/10/2006 2:01:01 PM | ^^^^ Tracy is totally right... best bet is to contact the local Children's Aid Society...
Here are the guidelines for my area:
The Child & Family Services Act states that "No person having charge of a child less than 16 years of age shall leave the child without making provision for his or her supervision and care that is reasonable in the circumstances." The legislation also states that "no parent of a child less than sixteen years of age shall permit the child to loiter in a public place between the hours of midnight and 6 a.m."
This means that it is the parents' responsibility to care for, and to ensure the safety of, their children at all times. It also means that it is an offence to leave any child unattended without making reasonable arrangements for every situation for the child's supervision, care and safety. Failure to do so may result in criminal charges being laid.
In deciding whether or not to leave your child alone, consider the following:
The age of the child.
The behaviour of the child, his/her temperament and health.
How long is the child going to be left alone?
Does the child know where you will be and how they can reach you?
Who is the emergency contact person for the child and how can they be reached?
Does the child know the rules they are to follow when you are not there?
It is your job to teach your child the right rules for any emergency situation and what to do when you are not present.
Talk to your children about who they can call for help, what to do if they are scared, and what to do if someone calls or comes to the door. Write this information down, and keep it handy for the children when alone.
Do not allow your child to stay home alone if you are uncomfortable about it or if you think he/she is not ready. You are responsible for your child's care and safety at all times.
Recommended guidelines for leaving a child alone
Infant - 9 years
A child of this age should not be left unsupervised at any time of the day or night. A competent caregiver should be on the same premises as the children.
10 -12 years
Short periods of indirect supervision of 1-2 hours may be acceptable for this age range. These short periods of indirect supervision may be provided by an adult in the next house or apartment-- if the adult is aware of the parents' absence, and agrees to look in on the child during specified periods of time.
Please note that indirect supervision via telephone contact is generally unacceptable for this age range.
13 - 14 years
Longer periods of indirect supervision (2 - 5 hours) are acceptable for this age range. An adult/babysitter should be available by telephone to the children in case of an emergency, or if the child requires assistance.
15 -16 years
At this age, the child should be able to be left alone for a full day. The parent should be readily available by telephone to the child in case of an emergency.
These are guidelines only. Every child and situation is different, and should be assessed individually. | |
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| How old is old enough to stay at home alone?
Posted: 10/10/2006 2:21:00 PM | This is all a bunch of PC silliness!
It was only a couple of generations ago that 12 year old girls were making money by babysitting. Ask your mothers.
You should follow the law, but I can still say it's a bunch of silliness. It's the same sort of thinking that makes laws that 10 year old kids have to be in car safety seats. People forget we did just fine without all this twaddle until very recently. | |
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| How old is old enough to stay at home alone?
Posted: 10/10/2006 2:55:32 PM | | Ha...not only did I stay home alone some nights, but I would get up with my infant sister to feed her at specified times when I was 10, that was old enough. My sister and I both lived. I agree....too many rules and regs these days. | |
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| How old is old enough to stay at home alone?
Posted: 10/10/2006 3:54:28 PM | I'm sorry and no offence but are you people CRAZY!!!!!!!!???????????!!!!!!!!!!!
9, 10??? alone for several hours.....omg!! I would never in a million years leave my 9 year old home alone for that long, maybe to run down to the store and back but that is it!!!!
I think the guidelines plyful gave us sound a little closer to acceptable!! If I knew of any parent leaving their 10 year old home alone to look after an infant I'd be calling CPA immediately. That is rediculous. I wouldn't even let a 13 year old babysit my baby, maybe my 6 year old, but that would be it, and it wouldn't be for nite time or overnite. Too much can happen, and most kids, and teens do not have the coping abilities to handle emergency situations. I will admit, it depends also on the individual child of course, one that is highly trained in cpr, ecd, or took bs courses and grew up with younger siblings, etc..etc.. I might consider, but on average, forget it.
JMO | |
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| How old is old enough to stay at home alone?
Posted: 10/10/2006 4:39:01 PM | Yea... but you've got to remember Smith.... when we babysat 30 years ago... we didn't have children plucked out of thier homes in the middle of the night, schools and neighborhoods were safe from gun fire.... so much has changed.
I will leave my 13 year old in charge of her brothers for an hour and a half after school if I need to work late. Any more than that I'd be sure there's a sitter there. | |
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| How old is old enough to stay at home alone?
Posted: 10/10/2006 4:54:54 PM | Not to argue with you personally, but you would leave your 9 year old at home alone to run to the store, but any longer and CPA should be called? This is my point - where is the line? To you it's 20 minutes, to others it's an hour and a half after school, others it's 3 hours and so on. It's your personal choice to not allow a 13 year old to babysit your kids (well maybe the 6 year old). I was babysitting when I was 12, after completing a babysitting course, and I don't think being at home alone now is really that much different now than it was then. Please don't get me wrong - I know gang violence, a few school shootings and drugs are around now when they weren't before, but how does this factor in to leaving a competent kid alone for a few hours in your own home?
It's upsetting to me that so many people would immediate contact a child protection agency because another parent did something you felt was not right for you or your kids.
Yes children are snatched from their homes - when their PARENTS are home. Yes there are shootings at some schools, but that is irrelevant to this discussion. If someone shoots in a school, well, my kid would be safe at home.
Latchkey kids are a fact of life. Would people prefer I went on welfare and fit the sterotype to stay at home for when my kid gets home from school? Of course not. I'm not suggesting that to leave a 9 year old home alone for the night is a good or smart or safe move, but for a couple of hours if they know the rules and you trust them?
Maybe it does come down to how much you trust your kid(s) and how responsible they have proven to be. Is there a right or wrong answer? No, but I do hope people respect the choices of other parents and not jumo to conclusions the child is being neglected or abused. | |
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| How old is old enough to stay at home alone?
Posted: 10/10/2006 4:55:46 PM | | I told my son that he can stay home alone when he's 13....anything before that, IMO, is too young.....unless it's only for ten minutes while you run up to the store, I could see leaving your 10 year but only for a quick trip to the store.... | |
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| How old is old enough to stay at home alone?
Posted: 10/10/2006 5:09:42 PM | i spent a week alone when i was 10 but my parents both worked full time so i was used to going to school alone and then making my own dinner then walking to karate and back home for hw and then bed.
so a week alone didnt change anything much.
my neighbour did check in with me alot while they were gone. | |
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| How old is old enough to stay at home alone?
Posted: 10/10/2006 5:13:23 PM | but you would leave your 9 year old at home alone to run to the store, but any longer and CPA should be called? This is my point - where is the line? To you it's 20 minutes, to others it's an hour and a half after school, others it's 3 hours and so on
I'm assuming this was directed at me?? When I say the store, I am talking 5 minutes 10 min max. And I said I would call CPA if I new someone was leaving their 10 year old home to care for an infant!!! There's being home alone and then being home with the responsibility of other younger kids. And I don't feel that is rigth for ANYBODY'S kids, not to mention so against the law!!!
Would people prefer I went on welfare and fit the sterotype to stay at home for when my kid gets home from school? Of course not. I'm not suggesting that to leave a 9 year old home alone for the night is a good or smart or safe move, but for a couple of hours if they know the rules and you trust them?
I don't think you need to go as far as to say you would have to go on welfare in order for your child to not have to come home to an empty house. There are older teens that you can hire for afterschool walks and care until you get home, or afterschool programs for just that reason or maybe a friendly neighboor that you trust,etc....you could make arrangements for your childs sake, it's life people do it all the time. I think it is horrible to send your child home after school to an empty house everyday. Especially if he/she walks and someone happens to pick up on the fact that your child walks home everyday to an EMPTY house. Has nothing to do with trusting your kids, it's being a responsible parent and knowing that unexpected things can happen at any given time, and expecting your 9 year old to have the mentality and logical thinking to deal with any kind of emergency or problem that could come up is naive. Even if they could deal they shouldn't have to, they are kids, they should spend their lives being kids while they can, not having to be forced to grow into a responsible adult by such an early age. And if you are speaking of your own 9 year old, hmmmm...I noticed where you live....only one of the roughest outskirts of Toronto, I hope you don't let him walk home alone as well....omg. I'm not trying to pick on you individually, but that scares me, I live in a very small pretty much crimeless community and I wouldn't let my child walk home. Where you are is 100 times more dangerous then here.
I know gang violence, a few school shootings and drugs are around now when they weren't before, but how does this factor in to leaving a competent kid alone for a few hours in your own home?
Again, wouldn't consider 9 to be competent. And I wouldn't say it is neglect or abuse, but pure irresponsibility, although a child comming home alone everyday might feel somewhat neglected???
JMHO | |
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| How old is old enough to stay at home alone?
Posted: 10/10/2006 6:40:58 PM | Lakeshore on the Oakville/Mississauga border - one of the roughest outskirts of Toronto? ???? Sorry - you must be from Halifax! Perhaps one of the RICHEST AREAS IN CANADA. That's the funniest thing I've heard all day! I think I live in one of the safest neighborhoods around, which is why I moved here. I also work in Toronto and consider it safe too.
And, I certainly hope my daughter could handle an emergency - like if a stranger tries to abduct her on the playground, if someone tries to touch her inappropriately, if she hears the fir alarm go off....yes, I expect my child could handle an emergency and I am extremely proud of what I have taught her beginning at a young age.
Unexpected things could happen any where, any time. You are of course entitled to your opinion, but to call someone that does not share your view an irresponsible parent is insulting.
To each his own - I only asked a question and expressed my views, I don't want to get into some sort of pissing match as every parent will do what is right for them and their children. | |
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| How old is old enough to stay at home alone?
Posted: 10/10/2006 6:56:48 PM | ummmm...holy god!! you asked....
What are everyone else's views on this
My view is that it's wrong and irresponsible parenting to leave your child home alone and expect them to come home to an empty house and take care of THEMSELVES...that's what parents are for last time I checked. And if your insulted it's probably because you know it's wrong and maybe feel a little ashamed??
How old is old enough to be left alone for a few hours?
Again.....YOU ASKED... sure as hell not 9!
Don't ask if you don't wanna know, lots of people think it's fine........I think it's horrible. Sheesh!! And I didn't ask for your exact location, I lived in Toronto and Pickering actually and for you to say that you think Toronto is safe is hilarious.... Pickering is better then Mississauga, and even there we could not walk home because girls were being picked up off the side of the road in broad daylight for god sakes. But whatever..... I'm not arguing with you, just answering the damn question already. My bad... thought you actually posted this for opinions. | |
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| How old is old enough to stay at home alone?
Posted: 10/10/2006 6:59:27 PM | Legally I think here in Canada it's 11 yo. To babysit it's 12 or 13 as far as I remember.
My oldest is 9 yo. The daycare will allow them until they are 10... and this is where I have a HUGE problem with this. The kid will be 10 for 365 days... but can't stay in their program 10 y 1 d... what the heck am I supposed to do for that one year??? AND... because of behavioural issues, there is no way shape or form this child will be ready in 2 yrs to be alone in the house for long... and I hesitate to allow even a few hrs after school.
Girls mature much faster then boys tho, so who knows.
I was allowed to be at home on my own starting at 11, but the street I lived on at that time had lots of very good neighbors who actually watched out for one another... several of the neighbors had babysat me over the years, and were home if I needed them after school. I started babysitting my brother at 13.. spent at least one summer doing that.
I hesitate to leave my children in the house to mow my lawn let alone for any length of time alone!! | |
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| How old is old enough to stay at home alone?
Posted: 10/10/2006 7:28:16 PM | I was fine with allowing my oldest to stay home while I grocery shopped when she was 9. I believe because of that trust now that she's 12 I'd have her look after her uncle who's 36. I believe she's more mature than him. I have no problem with her babysitting or hosting her own events in the house.
She has arranged for a Halloween party where 70 of her friends are coming over. I'm providing supervision but she is arranging everything else.
One of the most important qualities you can develop in your children is the feeling you trust them and the way to develop that quality is to trust them and praise them for a job well done.
If you don't trust your children then how will they grow to be trustworthy? | |
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crit
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Joined: 2/25/2006
Msg: 19 | |
| How old is old enough to stay at home alone?
Posted: 10/10/2006 7:55:14 PM | | I remember staying home by myself for the first time when i was 9, I was from a single parnet home and my mother made sure i understood everything before she left. I believe it to be up to the parent and whether or not they believe their child is responsible enough. I have two children, 10 and 7 both boys and when I work, sometimes they just want to stay home. They have proven in the past that they can follow rules and not beat up on each other. It is totally dependent on the maturity of the child and the ability of the parent to trust them. | |
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crit
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Joined: 2/25/2006
Msg: 20 | |
| How old is old enough to stay at home alone?
Posted: 10/10/2006 8:00:51 PM | | I jsut posted and would like to clarify so that you do not think that i am leaving my children alone for several hours at a time, I work part time 3 hours at a time, during the afternoon. I also have neighbors that can check on them at any time, I have phone contact with both my children and neighbors so i can be contacted at any time. | |
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| How old is old enough to stay at home alone?
Posted: 10/10/2006 9:23:09 PM | | A few years ago,I had a hell of a time getting my kids to go to sleep,when they were young toddlers...as soon as they went to sleep,I had to run to the mailbox to check my mail at an old apt. near my home(I locked the door)...well,by the time I got back the police met me at the door...neighbors didn't like me so they called the cops on me...only was charged with a misdeamer,but not a good idea in the states to leave your kids under 12 for any reason. I understand for parents though because when you get those young'ins to sleep finally,you don't want to wake them. | |
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| How old is old enough to stay at home alone?
Posted: 10/10/2006 9:54:31 PM | | It's more size than age. When they are big enough so they can't fit in the microwave but still short enough so they can't reach the shelf where you keep the liquor, it's safe to leave them alone. | |
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| How old is old enough to stay at home alone?
Posted: 10/10/2006 10:35:52 PM | down2 ... I think Lyrical has a very valid point, you say you would call services on someone is it was an hour or more .... yet you said yourself you would for 10 minutes.
Isnt that like saying its ok to steal candy bar, but not a car? ..stealing is stealing, alone is along...
I think theres several factors to take into consideration.
- How mature the child is
- Safety of the area you are in
- Where you are going
I dont think I would leave a child any younger than 10-11... but again theres many factors here so I dont feel I could honestly say until I was in the direct position with that child.
I know when I was growing up, I didnt bbsit .. but I would get on my horse at 7am and be gone until 7pm without a worry in the world .. many things have changed in many areas of the world ... too many factors to say. | |
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| How old is old enough to stay at home alone?
Posted: 10/10/2006 10:57:31 PM | Well gee! No wonder Ontario's parents are confused by the guidelines.
Infant - 9 years
A child of this age should not be left unsupervised at any time of the day or night. Parents can't leave a 9 year old home alone but Ontario's school boards CAN allow a 6 year old to walk up to 2 kms to and from school???
They can't stay in their own homes but they can cross highways, busy intersections and construction sites by themselves.
10 -12 years
Short periods of indirect supervision of 1-2 hours may be acceptable for this age range. ...however, the CAS does give out babysitting certificates to 12 year olds.
13 - 14 years
Longer periods of indirect supervision (2 - 5 hours) are acceptable for this age range. An adult/babysitter should be available... Fourteen year olds can get married in Canada as long as they have a babysitter???
15 -16 years
At this age, the child should be able to be left alone for a full day. Thank goodness a 16 year old is ready to be left alone for a full day since they can also legally move out of the home, rent an apartment and get a job.
Odd that we see parks full of unsupervised children isn't it? | |
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| How old is old enough to stay at home alone?
Posted: 10/11/2006 4:57:35 AM |
down2 ... I think Lyrical has a very valid point, you say you would call services on someone is it was an hour or more .... yet you said yourself you would for 10 minutes.
Again....I wish people wouldn't take things and twist them to their liking. I believe I stated twice Northy, that I would call if I knew someone was leaving their 10 year old home to care for an INFANT!!!!!! and alone is not alone, if you leave for 10 min, there is less likely to be something that will happen that you won't be back in time to fix then if your gone for hours!! Common now....10 min and 2-3 hours are very much a difference.
I agree with you with the different factors for different areas, individuals, and destination. What I find disturbing is the amount of people that think it's ok to leave young children home for long periods of time, and after school. Kids grow up to be adults when they are 18!!!!!!!! not 9 or 10. Yea I have strong opinions, because I have a strong personality, but I am totally serious when I say I don't think you have a right to be a parent if you can't take responsibility of your own kids. You don't have kids and then when they turn 9 or 10 say "ok, hunny, I got you this far, your own your own now, see you in a few hours" it has nothing to do with trust!! whatever man....you can trust your kids with your life but still not leave them to fend for themselves, not only does it give them a feeling of abandonment but it's dangerous, let's think for a minute here, what if for some reason god for bid, something should happen to you on your way home from work, and you don't COME HOME!!! that poor child is left in this house expecting you home, you don't show!!, it gets dark, it's bed time, still no mommy or daddy??!! hmmmmm......wonder how this child is going to feel, but I mean they are mature enough, and grown up enough that they can just go on and put themselves to bed, get up, pay the bills and off to school....I mean, why bother even having kids if you want to dump them when YOU feel they are old enough to take care of themselves....give me a break!!! I think the apron strings come off more when they are ready for college. Next you'll be sending them out to work, I mean people!! kids grow up fast enough, why rush them unless it's because it makes life easier for you and if that's the case then shame on you!!. I can't believe there is nobody that sees something wrong with this besides me.
To say latchkey kids is the way of the world today, doesn't make it RIGHT, just gives you an excuse to treat your kids the same way. That's like a child abuser saying, well.... abuse is the way of the world today isn't....EXCUSES EXCUSES....
*stepping away from the keyboard*....deep breaths...deep breaths... | |
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