| Any advice given on my dilemma greatly appreciated!!
Posted: 10/11/2006 9:00:18 AM | | So I have this friend that I have known for about 5 months now. Hes a great guy and I have always been attracted to him from the get go. People have asked me if we are dating by how we act and I always say that we are just friends. However I would love for it to go beyond the friends line. When we are out he'll buy me a coffee if Im cold, give me his shoes/jacket again should I be cold. We go for these amazing drives and just talk for hours on end. My best friend says that we flirt constantly. It seems that we have to either talk every day and/or see each other day because if I want to just sit at home and chill out for a night he begs me to come out. I had the opportunity to move back to my hometown, bare in mind it was an unwanted opportunity, and he told me that he was going to stand in my way because he didnt want to see me go but it was ultimately up to me....Anyone have any ideas if he seems to be into me at all or am I just trying to read too much into it and hes just being a really great friend?? | |
|
| |
| |
| Any advice given on my dilemma greatly appreciated!!
Posted: 10/11/2006 9:06:27 AM | It sounds like you're in a great relationship...........
Maybe you need to let him know how much you would miss him if you left.....
Do you guys touch one another? Like on the arm, back, leg... do ya hug? | |
|
| Any advice given on my dilemma greatly appreciated!!
Posted: 10/11/2006 9:09:11 AM | | Ive told him how much I would miss him if I left. He said that he wouldn't be going anywhere. Ya theres the odd touching every once and a while but I would call it more friendly than anything, I have hugged him and I give him massages. - The whole big thing on my fear I think is that Im not a "tiny" girl and he tends to check out and be attracted to this Tiny things that I could snap with my pinky lol and I dont know if he checks them out in front of me to get a reaction or what. Its gotten to the point I just dont care that he does it. | |
|
| |
| Any advice given on my dilemma greatly appreciated!!
Posted: 10/11/2006 9:23:21 AM | | I think you guys have a great relationship. You should wait for him to make the first move. If you are not sure how he feels then you should go out with someone in the meantime. Wait for his reaction. I'm not saying use someone to get make him jealous but you are single. I just think it would workout better when he is ready. You guys could have a long and happy life together if all goes well. | |
|
| Any advice given on my dilemma greatly appreciated!!
Posted: 10/11/2006 9:33:29 AM | One thing I have learned is that women can sit around and brainstorm on what is going on inside the head of a man forever...and still come out wrong...
My advice...be bold and ask him...he is the only one who knows what he thinks and feels | |
|
| Any advice given on my dilemma greatly appreciated!!
Posted: 10/11/2006 9:36:36 AM | I totally agree....the only thing you need to do right now is ask him...you need to step up to the plate...who cares who checks whom out what we look at and what we like could be 2 different things all together!!!
Go for it!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
|
| Any advice given on my dilemma greatly appreciated!!
Posted: 10/11/2006 9:39:45 AM | Oh for Pete's sake!!!
ASK HIM if he feels like you and he could be more than friends!!!
How important is it that you move back to your hometown( you mentioned it was an "unwanted" opportunity,whatever that means)? Does it create a significant opportunity to TRULY improve your life? Remember, no matter what happens with this guy, that many women will find themselves on their own at some point in their life,due to divorce,breakup, or death of your SO. Love is wonderful but it won't buy your groceries if it goes away and leaves you short of funds...
Cindy O | |
|
| |
| Any advice given on my dilemma greatly appreciated!!
Posted: 10/11/2006 9:45:42 AM | Does he have any other female friends... not really... most likely into you.
Him looking at tiny girls doesn't mean he is not interested in you or that he isn't
ready to go with a bigger girl... simply enjoying the view...
Some people might refuse love because of image and even if he is into you it
doesn't mean that he is close enough to his feelings/self to realise it...
Why should she wait for him to make a move... that's the cowards way out and
now you're telling her to go out with somebody else when she cares for him...
...boo!!!!! on that one
Girls have the right to make the first move as well and you gals have been fighting
so hard for equality why not assume it... The worst that can happen is for him to
turn you down and wouldn't that be better than wondering?
I would simply suggest to stay away from ultimatums. | |
|
| Any advice given on my dilemma greatly appreciated!!
Posted: 10/11/2006 9:47:30 AM | hi there,
going on that life is too short i think its time you made it obvious that you would like to take that next move!! if you dont grab him soon someone else might then where would you be! I wish you luck with it and if he doesnt feel the same then tell him that you do/will understand too that way you'll both know that your friendship is still as safe as ever
good luck
xkx | |
|
| Any advice given on my dilemma greatly appreciated!!
Posted: 10/11/2006 10:35:29 AM | Your right - I should make the first move. The opportunity to go back to my hometown wasn't going to really make my life any better. Its a tiny hick town that I'd probably end up getting stuck in and ending up like my mother.
With other guys - He seems like hes either a) Really Jealous or b) Really protective of me.
I met a nice guy at a pub and was having a good time with him (I was with another friend and she was talking to the other 2 guys he was with) and I was into getting to know this other guy since well my "friend" hasnt done anything to show me how he feels, and he was telling a friend of mine "Oh I bet shes gonna hook up with him etc etc" and he was sounding mad/upset. | |
|
| Any advice given on my dilemma greatly appreciated!!
Posted: 10/11/2006 10:42:30 AM | sounds like the two of you are already in love and maybe the both of you are waiting for the other to make the first move? msg 2 and 12 have the greatest answer.
kiss him, kiss him, kiss him!!! be bold, at least you'll have your answer.
speaking from experience, even if it doesn't turn into a romantic relationship, he sounds like a great guy and you'll likely still stay great friends.
most straight guys I know look at other women, it's a fact of life, don't let that bother you and your size, don't give it a second thought, I have an aunt who is a large woman and very tall and her husband of many years is small and at least half a foot shorter, they've had 5 kids and have many grandchildren.
life is too short! go for it! kiss him already!! and soon! and then you can then move on....
let us know how it turns out! | |
|
| Any advice given on my dilemma greatly appreciated!!
Posted: 10/11/2006 2:29:11 PM | Ah! The praise of a wize woman, nothing as such to send shivers down a young
man's spine...
Detaicerppa yltaerg ammelid ym no nevig ecivda yna... there's nothing left for me to
say. lam | |
|
| Any advice given on my dilemma greatly appreciated!!
Posted: 10/11/2006 2:33:44 PM | dont try to fix what isnt broken...Let things take its course naturally.
It sounds like you have a beautiful thing going..and just let it stay beautiful. it might blossom into something amazing when you least expect it to.
If it doesnt...then you havent ruined a great friendship by complicating things | |
|
| Any advice given on my dilemma greatly appreciated!!
Posted: 10/11/2006 2:34:10 PM | | You have moved into the dreaded 'Best Friend' zone. You are privy to his thoughts, he watches other chicks when you are around, he probably tells you who he fantasizes about or wants to date. You've become one of the guys.. only with breasts and less facial hair..... | |
|
| Any advice given on my dilemma greatly appreciated!!
Posted: 10/11/2006 3:14:20 PM | One of the guys sometimes doesn't need much to become a woman once again...
It all depends on if he was ever interested and trying to be friends with someone
you have feelings for can hardly work anyway.
I know that women keep friends at a fair distance but I know that me, as a guy,
am different on the matter... Nothing better than receiving love from a friend
because the connection is somewhat better than if it began with romance right
away.
Just the thought of him being kind of mad at the thought of you picking up some
other man shows interest, being protective does the same. He might just be taking
things slow as some men work that way... His he the type of guy who has the touch
with the ladies... no... he won't beleive that he has a chance with you until you let
him know.
He might just be asking himself the same question about you as you are asking
yourself about him... to birds in love and fearing to fly sollo for risk of falling.
This brings me back to the possibility that he may care more about image than love and that would most likely mean that he as the touch with the ladies... | |
|
| Any advice given on my dilemma greatly appreciated!!
Posted: 10/11/2006 4:49:06 PM | | I'd say if nothing has happened in 5 months of being friends and hanging out together, HE'S NOT interested in anything more than a friendship. If you try to pursue more, you may lose him as a friend. Five months is a long time and if he's hasn't grown to have romantic feelings for you by now, give it up. I couldn't even imagine sleeping with someone that was my friend and I had no romantic feelings for, that would be like sleeping with my cousin. eeewwwwww And that is exactly what he will think when you suggest it to him. Find someone else. | |
|
| Any advice given on my dilemma greatly appreciated!!
Posted: 10/12/2006 11:12:11 AM |
I'd say if nothing has happened in 5 months of being friends and hanging out together, HE'S NOT interested in anything more than a friendship.......Five months is a long time and if he's hasn't grown to have romantic feelings for you by now, give it up.
Normally I would agree with you however - My mom and step dad were the best of friends for about 5-7 years before they got together. This is why Im more confused than anything lol He always tells me how hes a hopless romantic, and how its been so long and how he just wants someone to care for and hold etc etc etc...If I say anything about my size or how I feel like I'm always just going to be "one of the guys" He tells me to shut up etc etc. Any guy that I talk to him about or say that I might go hang out with even on a friendly level he finds something wrong with him and will tell me how bad this guy would be for me....Majorrr confusion.  | |
|
| Any advice given on my dilemma greatly appreciated!!
Posted: 10/12/2006 11:23:04 AM | OP I hope I'm wrong but let me play devil's advocate for a minute...
Maybe this guy wants to keep you on the string just in case he can't find something better...he doesn't really want you but doesn't want anyone else to have you either, in case at some future point he DOES decide he wants you.
I guess I'm having trouble with the idea of a grown man not being able to say, "hey I'm falling in love with you beyond friendship"...
I still think you need to have a dialogue with this guy because as long as he's in your life as a question mark, you may be missing opportunities to create a relationship with someone who wants you as a lover as well as a friend.
Cindy O | |
|
| Any advice given on my dilemma greatly appreciated!!
Posted: 10/12/2006 11:26:43 AM | The next time you are in the car with him or alone with him anywhere - get on your knees and face him and kiss him like your heart wants you to. That will clear up that you are interested in not being just friends :) I did this once and it worked out great  | |
|
| Any advice given on my dilemma greatly appreciated!!
Posted: 10/12/2006 11:39:11 AM | | One nice soft kiss speaks a thousand words. I f he is really just after friendship only, so what, a kiss is got to be the easiest thing for a friend to forgive you for. I was once a long time ago krazy about this girl and got myself locked into this friendship thing that I would have done anything to undo. | |
|
| Any advice given on my dilemma greatly appreciated!!
Posted: 10/12/2006 11:45:24 AM | I disagree with waiting for him to make the first move.
My suggestion: Talk to him. Tell him that sometimes you feel like you have more than a friendship, and ask him if he feels the same way, and how he feels about the current relationship you two have.
This doesn't tell him you're in love with him, and shouldn't make him feel uncomfortable if he doesn't feel the same way. But it opens the door to open communication so you can find out what each other are feeling.
Try to be somewhat guarded about how you feel until you know what he does. That way if he does not feel the same way, you can deflect it as a statement about your close friendship, rather than coming across that you want to step it up a notch. | |
|
Home
login 
