| why cant we all just pick ourselves up???
Posted: 10/12/2006 12:47:36 PM | | i know we get broken hearted we are human after all...we get dumped and sometimes treated like crap... but why cant we just pick ourselves up put it down to experience and move on why do we all have to dwell on something which makes us all sad? | |
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| why cant we all just pick ourselves up???
Posted: 10/12/2006 1:44:50 PM | | I've wondered the same thing. I find it's hard to forget the things the other person did that we liked and the wanting to do those things again. It's especially hard if you've been thinking about that person a lot during the time you were together and now you want to just stop thinking and move on. We think too much about the good times and not the bad. | |
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| why cant we all just pick ourselves up???
Posted: 10/12/2006 2:49:11 PM | | I'm not meaning this as a joke or anything, although some may laugh. I view my dating situation like Charlie Brown,Lucy,and that damn football. Everytime I take another run at it, someone takes the football out of my way and I fall on my ass. There's never anyone to catch me. It's a feeling of defeat. I've had no good times to think about. I know I'm not the only person this happens to, but to me I feel alone,secluded,lost,forgotten like the world has nothing to offer me but sorrow. Why keep trying when all you get is defeated? I'm not a football team, there's no coach to give me a motivational speech to get me back in the game. | |
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| why cant we all just pick ourselves up???
Posted: 10/12/2006 2:59:44 PM | It's never easy to stop loving someone, sometimes it will never end, no matter what they put you through. A million cliche quotations won't fix it, either. Only time, and remembering the person who you must love first, yourself.
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| why cant we all just pick ourselves up???
Posted: 10/12/2006 4:11:27 PM | | The lesson of Lucy and the football is that given the fact of Lucy's constancy, CB has only himself to blame. He must wise up or fall flat. In dating this means do something differently...but what?? | |
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| why cant we all just pick ourselves up???
Posted: 10/12/2006 6:18:14 PM | | Yep we can chalk is up to experince and lessons learned and grow from there. Staying stuck would be a step backwards.Eyes forward and course set all thats left to do is sail it. | |
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Sea_6
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Joined: 8/10/2006
Msg: 9 | |
| why cant we all just pick ourselves up???
Posted: 10/12/2006 7:19:51 PM | Our heart doesn't reason... it just feels the loss and/or the hurt ....
Our brain tells us we need to pick ourselves up, and rationalize and think of other things ..... focus elsewhere....
yes, I know, easier said than done.  | |
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| why cant we all just pick ourselves up???
Posted: 10/12/2006 7:22:25 PM |
but why cant we just pick ourselves up put it down to experience and move on
Who says we can't? Who is it that can't?
why do we all have to dwell on something which makes us all sad?
Is remembering a past event dwelling, or are you talking about people who constantly obsess? I know for months after I broke up with my wife, I talked a lot about it. Slowly I'm getting other memories to replace it. I still talk about her because there are still memories being created because we have a daughter so I still see her. Other than that, well... I don't know. If people aren't moving on and/or still dwelling, I suppose they just need to get on with life. I don't have any magic answers, just know that shit like that isn't at the forefront of my mind until there's a trigger, such as a question like this. I'm finally at a point where I don't even care about what happened, I just know that I'm happy now. | |
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| why cant we all just pick ourselves up???
Posted: 10/12/2006 7:31:53 PM | Just my take on it, but I think relationships are some
of life's best lessons. Sometimes it takes time for
the lessons to sink in. Those that just move on
quickly, never get the lessons and are often
doomed to repeat them, again and again. | |
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| why cant we all just pick ourselves up???
Posted: 10/13/2006 7:28:08 PM | | My Thinking is people forget or dont know that the secret of love is ..that it is a gift, and that it can be made to grow ..only by giving it in return. ..Remember this, and keep it in your heart.. Love has its own time, ..its own seasons,.. and its own reason for coming and going... You cannot bribe it or coerce it, or reason it into staying. ..You can embrace it when it arrives ..and give it in return when it comes to you... But if it chooses to leave from your heart.. or from the heart of your lover, ..there is nothing you can do and there is nothing you should do... Love always has been and always will be a mystery.... Be glad that it came to live for a moment in your life. | |
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| why cant we all just pick ourselves up???
Posted: 10/14/2006 4:07:37 PM | | When two people meet and share love it is one of the most wonderful things in the world, it is rare and precious and should be treated as such. When two people truely connect and are in love, I believe they get into each other's minds, hearts and souls. When the relationship ends those feelings don't go away, because those feelings have become memories which have filled your life with joy, hope and happiness. Perhaps made you a different person, perhaps changed your life and when you lose that you must grieve, just as you would any loss, grieving is a necessary part of healing. | |
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| why cant we all just pick ourselves up???
Posted: 10/14/2006 4:20:53 PM | yeah...ur right its just a heartbreaking time going through it i just wish we could skip it but we cant cos we will never live n learn...lovely words mizbex  | |
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| why cant we all just pick ourselves up???
Posted: 10/14/2006 4:36:58 PM | Perhaps a lesson needs to be learned before we can move on. If resentment and hurt is still there, one cannot move on.
Wouldn't it be nice to be able to do it..... but then repeat mistakes would be made. People who just move on without acknowledging all feelings get into rebound relationships.
Of course years later would indicate the person needs a little help to get them past. | |
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| why cant we all just pick ourselves up???
Posted: 10/14/2006 4:40:20 PM | Sweetheart,a lot depends on one's age.As a young man I was heart-broken from a wife who I loved so much.It doesn't always have to be from a former spouse.if you are in a relationship where there is love it can almost as devastating as being in a marraige.I am 54,I hope that younger people here can take a cue from older ones who have experienced heartbreak and deep hurt either once or a few times.
You must have to take a good look at yourself while also reflecting on the relationship that for one reason or another ,did not work.How do you feel about YOU?Do you believe that you have something to offer to another?I know that when the hurt is fresh and the wounds deep,it is very difficult to function in everyday life.However,you MUST allow yourself time to be alone and grieve if you have been hurt badly.It is somewhat like grieving a death.You have to come face to face with the fact that this person is no longer there but you are still alive and you CAN recover if you give yourself the time you need to get over the hurt.
Should you move too quickly,you may find yourself hurting somewere down the line because you have not properly dealt with the pain and hurt from a previous relationship.
We CAN pick ourselves up,ALL of us,if we look deeply into what happened,was I responsible,was he responsible or did both of us share in the disolving of a relationship that once was a good one?
Have you ever heard that"EXPERIENCE IS THE BEST TEACHER?" Young men and women alike can gain a plethera of knowledge from just this one statement.
Good luck to you dear! Tom | |
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| why cant we all just pick ourselves up???
Posted: 10/14/2006 5:01:17 PM | | Because society teaches us to be negative and to have low self-esteem. You see it on tv, in your school classrooms, from govt. officials, etc. We are always being told what we can't do instead of what we can. Most of us complain when we get turned down by 3 or 4 people in a row on this site. Even if you went thru 50 duds to get to the person of your dreams, would it be worth it? Most of us will never persist that long! We give up easily and start thinking there is something wrong with us. When we get dumped, we think we are the problem. I guess as long as the negative thinking exists, that problem will exist! | |
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| why cant we all just pick ourselves up???
Posted: 10/14/2006 5:08:19 PM | It's all about chances and lack of responsibilities. To involve yourself with another is a chance we take and with that conscious choice can have many outcomes. The scariest and most destructful choice is when one enters into a relationship expecting thier lives to be "fixed" and or happiness come galloping to sweep them away and live happily ever after.
Giving yourself to another person whether it being an intimate relationship, a friendship, love as a parent, and love as a child, we, if one is capable of opening themselves up, are subject to hurt. It's about personal accountability. What responsibility do I play into this, the now and then scenerio. Learn, be accountable and live a complete. YOU are the only one to complete yourself....nuff said. The other possibles are just a bonus. | |
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| why cant we all just pick ourselves up???
Posted: 10/14/2006 5:19:17 PM | | I guess when someone broke ours hears ,in tha time we star thinking more about them.,and the good time we shared together that hurts more... | |
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| why cant we all just pick ourselves up???
Posted: 10/15/2006 4:15:51 AM | One thing I think everyone does wrong is they try to move on. Allow me to explain my thought, because I didn't understand it until just a little while ago.
We all know what it's like when you're looking for something... you'll never find it. Then when you're not looking for it BOOM! It's there! Whether it's keys, wallet, car in a parking lot beside the red car, cell phone, a piece of your heart, a special someone, whatever! So when we turn and say "Why can't I move on?" We're really shooting ourselves in the foot. Why would we want to move on? If we haven't yet, then two things are certain... one: you're not ready to move on, and two: it is what it is, so why cheat yourself out of the experience of missing someone? Sounds weird, but missing someone is the surefire way to keep it from happening again. When you park your car beside that red car in the parking lot, then can't find your car when the red car took off, you told yourself that you wouldn't ever park beside a red car again! Doesn't mean you won't park beside a black car, or a yellow car. But as time goes by, you'll figure out, what's more anchored. Let's face it... some people just have four wheels and want to drive past the flowers, while you wanna stop and smell them.
My metaphorical suggestion... wait until you find a parking space beside a lamp post before you leave your car to go into the superstore. At least you know it'll be where you knew you left it... Unless of course it gets stolen... that's an entirely different metaphor and I'm sure there's another forum for that. Regardless, we all get bumbed out once in a while, but as we make our own new path, we get farther and farther from the path of the person who went a completely different direction than we would have wanted. In the end, you are better off, whether you believe it now or not. I sure believe it! | |
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| why cant we all just pick ourselves up???
Posted: 10/19/2006 6:30:18 AM | | We can't do that because we have a heart. And with that part of us is a conscience. Our conscience makes us think many things(some say our mind is our own worst enemy, and I agree). Some of the things we think of to begin with is sorrow. Then usually "What did I do that was wrong", "Is there a way I could have done something different to have made it better or right?" Many things go through our head. Blame yourself, blame them, etc. It takes time for our minds to sort all that and eventually (some longer than others) we wake up and move on. Myself I used to "mourn" for days, thinking I was worthless, that I couldn't keep a girl around.(I feel sorry for my son, he inherited that...lol) But, I still go on and keep hope and faith. To me, if you stop that type of human emotion you've become cold and can start showing lack of feeling/emotion to the next one that comes around. Be careful with that one. Always remember it takes two to dance, and when something ends it is NOT always your fault. | |
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| why cant we all just pick ourselves up???
Posted: 12/12/2007 10:49:08 AM | | Will somebody tell peluzza1980 (I wish I knew what that meant) to move to New York and start dating me already. I even cook and iron my own shirts for God sake! I can pick us both up. I could probably even bench press her. | |
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