| I'd like some opinions.
Posted: 10/15/2006 10:21:40 PM | | I have come to a point in my life where I really want to figure out women so that I can eventually find somebody really special to be with. I would like any and all women especially the ones that consider themselves "high-class" and/or "attractive" to look at my profile and send me some messages about what you do and don't like about it. I'd also like to hear your opinion about what I could change or include on my profile to more successfully attracted quality women. Also, I'm always looking for new people to teach me things and I would really like to become friends with some very successful and attractive women so that I can pick there brains, find out how they tick, and maybe even get a hand with my search for that special somebody. | |
|
| I'd like some opinions.
Posted: 10/16/2006 12:17:06 AM | My advice? Stop being so "I want".
Love is not about wanting, it's about giving. | |
|
| I'd like some opinions.
Posted: 10/16/2006 3:10:08 AM | It's your attitude man.....don't judge women...with.."My standards are VERY high. Some of the things that are mandatory on my list of expectations ..." Geez...get real...like they are on a reality tv show that you line up 12 women and choose who is the best one for you....
gimme a break bucko.....You need to get off your high horse before you go out and say hello....k? Just say you would like to meet someone that is basically on the SAME PAGE...your interests..your philosphy....not MY STANDARDS ARE VERY HIGH.....
God, that would be a chick detractor big time... | |
|
| I'd like some opinions.
Posted: 10/16/2006 3:54:59 AM | "Also, I'm always looking for new people to teach me things and I would really like to become friends with some very successful and attractive women so that I can pick there brains, find out how they tick, and maybe even get a hand with my search for that special somebody."
how do you define "successful" and "attractive"? those are relative terms. from the depth of your post i'm not sure you even know what those terms mean.
what exactly makes an "unattractive" and "unsuccessful" person any less able to teach you some lessons???
probably the latter has more to teach and would be more willing to do so if you weren't such a dipsh*t.
in my opinion there's no such thing as successful/unsuccessful or attractive/unattractive....
there's only happy and unhappy. | |
|
| I'd like some opinions.
Posted: 10/16/2006 10:01:18 AM | I'd like to thank everybody for taking the time to check out my profile so far and comment. Let me just say a couple things here in response to what some of you have posted.
Rune3 I think your comment wasn't very well thought out because the only time that I said "I want" anything was in the beginning of my post here when I said I want to figure out women.
AREALANGEL obviously you are one of the people that my list of expectations is meant to disqualify. I don't mean for that to be an attack on you but honestly if you don't tell people what you are looking for then how will you ever find it? Also, the whole reality show thing really made me laugh. Successful/attractive women are always judging guys. In fact, women in general have this idea stuck in there head that they are going to be the one to choose their partner. I don't believe that there is anything wrong with a guy knowing what he wants and then going out and choosing who he wants to be with.
Robinkynd I agree that successful and attractive are relative terms but a little common sense goes along way. I should have specified that when I said successful and attractive I meant by today's standards. In fact, lets be even more specific. When I say successful, I mean somebody that has found their path in life and is achieving the goals that they set for them self, somebody that has a career or is working towards a career, somebody that is stable and in control of their life, somebody that has a social life that they enjoy and last but definitely not least somebody that is secure and happy in life. When I say attractive, I mean somebody that is healthy, active, in shape, that takes care of them self physically and mentally, somebody that is sure of them self and that knows and feels the fact that they are beautiful (inside and out). Fortunately the world is not as black and white as you make it out to be when you say "there's only happy and unhappy".
Anyways, thanks again for taking time to give me your thoughts and opinions so far. I look forward to hearing more. | |
|
| I'd like some opinions.
Posted: 10/16/2006 10:31:22 AM | Fortunately the world is not as black and white as you make it out to be when you say "there's only happy and unhappy".
that's funny! because what you described, at length, is exactly what happy/unhappy means.
call it black and white if you want to...it's you own description that is at fault here.
can she be successful and out of shape and still happy?
does that qualify?
can she be healthy but unseccessful and still happy?
does that qualify?
can she be both successful and healthy and unhappy?
does that count?
can she be unhealthy and unseccessful but happy?
does that count?
come on!!!!
if you don't want black and white answers don't pigeon hole people
here's a white answer to your question
at least you have an ideal
and here's a black one
you're pretty judgemental and you won't get your straight answer until you stop being so | |
|
| I'd like some opinions.
Posted: 10/16/2006 12:55:45 PM | Rune3 I think your comment wasn't very well thought out because the only time that I said "I want" anything was in the beginning of my post here when I said I want to figure out women.
The whole focus you have in your original post here is about what you want and how to get what you want: how can you find a woman who is "high class", "successful" and "attractive". I question whether this kind of evaluation isn't more suited to hunting for a suitable employee, or a car rather than for someone with whom you will truly be able to feel deeply happy and close.
I stand by my previous post. I think that love is not about looking at people and thinking whether they measure up to physical/status standards or whether they can play the role in your life that you feel is missing. It's about loving them for who they are: about giving freely, not about requiring them to satisfy the type of criteria you describe.
If you fell in love with a woman who satisfied all your criteria, would you stop loving her if circumstances changed? If not, why fuss about the criteria? If so, perhap you are not even aiming for love, only to find an accessory? How would you want her to feel about you in this respect? I hope that finding an emotional connection is a bigger priority than these criteria and you simply forgot to mention it so far.
I think that we attract what we need. Sometimes what is needed might be educational rather then enjoyable. If you keep attracting that which you don't want, look deeply at yourself with a critical eye. | |
|
| I'd like some opinions.
Posted: 10/16/2006 1:57:54 PM | RobinKynd obviously a person can be any number of those types of combinations but that is not what I'm looking for. I am being very black and white when I'm stating what I am looking for and that's because I know what I want. I don't judge people like you assume I do. I am more than willing to give anybody a chance but if there is no attraction and they are not what I'm looking for then why would I "love" them?
Rune3 I am asking for help to find what I want but also I want to find out what the type of women that I would like to be with are attracted to. I completely understand that things change all the time in peoples lives and that you most likely will still love somebody if the situation changes. Heck, I've even been in that situation before. You are definitely right about me wanting to find an emotional connection but what I have found in my dating life to this point is emotional connections with people that weren't mature, happy, well adjusted people. Don't get me wrong, I have dated some really awesome girls but there was always something that just didn't click for me. Back to the subject of change for a moment here. Like I said I know people do change and that is expected but looking back at the list of qualities that I'm searching for I realized that most of them are very base level human qualities that aren't usually subject to drastic change. Also, I constantly look at myself with a very critical eye. In fact I'm my own worst critic. That's part of the reason that I am trying to ask for help in the area of my life.
We have a few hypocrites here when it comes to being judgmental. What I am looking for is creative and constructive criticism. Please refrain from posting broad statements like "you're pretty judgmental and you won't get your straight answer until you stop being so" and "if you don't want black and white answers don't pigeon hole people". Instead try and give me some examples of things that I could be doing to change my situation. Thanks again for your time. | |
|
| I'd like some opinions.
Posted: 10/16/2006 2:27:35 PM | Well I don't know that I'm "high class" enough or "attractive" enough to review your profile, but I'm going to do it anyway.
A few things I didn't like:
"I'll listen to you when you talk but not if you're going to complain, gossip, or whine about things. I'm not your girlfriend."
Hmmm. Some people have bad days and they appreciate that their significant other will be there for them, even if it does sometimes involve a complaint. Judging from that comment, you wouldn't be too dependable or supportive...just MY take on it.
"I don't believe in paying for everything when I'm with a woman, but on the other hand I will open doors, pull out chairs, and treat you with all the respect that you have earned."
The whole "respect you have earned" comes across as harsh. For some reason, it sounded rude...might just be me, but "who do you think you are?" came to mind when I read it.
"If I do pay for something or buy flowers or any of those types of things they will be on my terms not yours."
Again, the way you phrased this comes across as rude and condescending...king of your castle kind of thing which isn't particularly appealing. Either you have a very harsh way of putting things or you have some lingering baggage that you haven't packed away yet.
"My standards are VERY high. Some of the things that are mandatory on my list of expectations are: a good sense of self, good communication, a good sense of humor, independent, driven, goal oriented, active, healthy, happy, a love of music, a love of food, and a drive to experience new things and grow as a person. I've been meeting a lot of people lately but I find that the people I have met have been unable to engage me intellectually and I am instantly turned off by that. Please be sure that you are interested in at least some of the things that I am and that you're going to be able to interact with me on an intellectual level."
This is quite a list and nothing in your profile proves that you come anywhere near matching it yourself. All I can say after reading that paragraph is get off your high horse buddy.
"Thanks for checking out my profile and I hope all the best for you in your search to find the right person."
How patronizing. This makes it seem as though you don't expect any woman on here to meet your "high standards."
My guess is most "intellectual" woman won't give this one a second look. You've been a member on here since 2005 and judging from the #9, I think I'm pretty accurate on this one. I'd suggest changing your profile, but then again your true colours wouldn't shine through.
P.S. I just read your responses to other posters and you have such an air of arrogance in your responses. Why is that?
I wish you much luck in finding a woman who will knock you down a few pegs. | |
|
| I'd like some opinions.
Posted: 10/16/2006 4:43:43 PM | What a great profile reviewer zuzus petals is!
Although I have to say OP, she was never going to find your profile a challenge - she sums you up perfectly!
OP your profile is laughable, through your downright arrogance and ridiculous chauvinism, you really are setting yourself up for one almighty fall!
Your standards might be "high", but any woman worth her salt, reading the nonsense you've written, wont bother her azz trying to meet them!
NEXT!
 | |
|
| |
| I'd like some opinions.
Posted: 10/16/2006 6:27:09 PM |
Also, I'm always looking for new people to teach me things
...take a lesson from those that have reviewed your profile....they are right on target.
Before you acuse any of them of "man-bashing," I thought you needed to hear it from a man: Your profile is awful, for all the reasons they have mentioned.
I'm sure you do possess the wonderful traits that you used to describe yourself, but unfortunately, no one is going to be able to stomach your profile long enough to find out. | |
|
| I'd like some opinions.
Posted: 10/16/2006 9:07:06 PM | | Well, everybody's points are well taken. This has been a very interesting research project for me. I've never had a profile quite like this until 2 or 3 days ago. It has been interesting trying to argue from the stand point of the type of person that would write that type of profile. Thanks for your time and feel free to check out my profile again and give me your thoughts and comments on The-Real-Thing! | |
|
| I'd like some opinions.
Posted: 10/16/2006 9:37:56 PM | I read the profile but didn't comment on it as I was waiting for the "confession" that was sure to come - and there it is, right above. I see you've erased the profile. In a way, it revealed some possible unpleasant aspects about your personality. It will be interesting to see if those characteristics will inadvertently show up in the "Real-Thing" profile. Good luck with the ladies either way.
PS: I need to find something else to do if I find this interesting. | |
|
| I'd like some opinions.
Posted: 10/16/2006 9:48:03 PM | | Possible unpleasant aspects about my personality? Do share! Also, my profile is updated again so feel free to read away! | |
|
| I'd like some opinions.
Posted: 10/16/2006 10:31:20 PM | Wow! Huge difference.
The version 1.1 is a much friendlier read and there's nothing whatsoever in it that automatically provokes hostility, unlike version 1.
Granted, it doesn't seem to reflect the personality portrayed in v.1, but in this case, less may be more! I would go with v1.1 and fill in the blanks as you get to know someone.
The two profiles illustrate a huge degree of variance, ranging from severely-exclusionary to being all-inclusive as far as the people you might attract. I think profiles that are excessively exclusionary are the ones that provoke either hostile responses or outright disinterest.
I suspect the trick is to find a middle-ground that will disinterest those who don't possess the traits you value, while encouraging those who do. Doing it without pissing people off is hard.
Since profiles can be another filtering tool (and I sense you want to use it that way), perhaps v1.2 will be the best of both worlds = keep writing. But at least until you get it fine tuned, v1.1 will serve you nicely.
Good Luck | |
|
| I'd like some opinions.
Posted: 10/16/2006 10:39:32 PM |
The Real Thing, goodness that's a lot better, it's well written, interesting, and all the
arrogant unpleasant stuff is gone - it really is a good profile!
You responded on this thread in a civil manner, took the good advice given, and changed things.
Well done, and best of luck!
 | |
|
| I'd like some opinions.
Posted: 10/16/2006 10:59:58 PM | The way I see it, it looks like the OP is trying something new to attract women, and unfortunately he fell flat on his face. At least he was being authentic and forward, even if it was to the point of being arrogant and self-absorbed.
OP, best thing to do is just let your *natural* confidence shine through. I saw someone trying waaaay too hard to be something he's not. Although there's nothing wrong with being a *little* too confident, you don't want to be arrogant and seem like you're only in it for yourself. A relationship involves two people, after all...
OP. go ahead and throw me a reply if you want some additional advice...
Edit: Hey, you got the right idea. I was gathering profile tidbits from the others quoting on here. | |
|
| I'd like some opinions.
Posted: 10/16/2006 11:10:41 PM | | Like I said before this was all just a very interesting research project for me. You never know what might work until you try it out. I would love additional advice from anybody that has something to say. | |
|
| I'd like some opinions.
Posted: 10/16/2006 11:35:56 PM | I have just read the whole of this thread, and I'm just wondering how much of "version 1" is really you....
I, for one, couldn't and wouldn't invent a whole new persona as a "research project".
What motive would you have, as this thread will now stand for all time, and I'm sure any woman reading this would be concerned, as I am, where the real you lies.
Is the second profile the invented one??
Is it the first?
Just a thought... | |
|
| I'd like some opinions.
Posted: 10/16/2006 11:44:55 PM | | You ask who would invent a whole new persona as a research project. Well, obviously it would take somebody that really wanted see all possible angles and whether or not they had any validity or not. If you have any doubts about the real me just look at the previous profile review that I received quite a long time ago. I think it will shed enough light on the subject to clarify things. | |
|
| I'd like some opinions.
Posted: 10/17/2006 1:31:01 PM | | After reading your original profile, I'd be extremely skeptical as to which one represents the "real" you. Your original profile did not get very many positive reactions. Then, suddenly, a decent one appears as part of some "project." It's not the least bit convincing to me. | |
|
| I'd like some opinions.
Posted: 10/17/2006 8:28:47 PM | Didn't see the first one, like the content of the second one.
A suggestion, break it up a bit. Use paragraphs and spaces, it is so much easier to read, and then if need be refer back to.
Look at my profile for an example. I may have overused the process, but it is easier to read.
Good Luck! | |
|
| I'd like some opinions.
Posted: 10/17/2006 9:09:01 PM | "After reading your original profile, I'd be extremely skeptical as to which one represents the "real" you. Your original profile did not get very many positive reactions. Then, suddenly, a decent one appears as part of some "project." It's not the least bit convincing to me."
Good thing I'm not trying to convice you. Anyways, people are free to make their own assumptions about me but that's all that they will be.
"Didn't see the first one, like the content of the second one.
A suggestion, break it up a bit. Use paragraphs and spaces, it is so much easier to read, and then if need be refer back to.
Look at my profile for an example. I may have overused the process, but it is easier to read.
Good Luck!"
Thanks for the tips I'll get right on it! | |
|
| I'd like some opinions.
Posted: 10/17/2006 9:14:49 PM | | cierakae check it out again and let me know if it looks any better. If not could you be specific about where you would break for a paragraph or the type of spacing I should use. | |
|
Home
login 
did you figure it out yet?