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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/16/2006 4:13:58 AM | i know not all women are like that but what on earth possesses a person to think they are that special they dont have to contribute to the financial cost of going on a date ?????
just wondering really ????? | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/16/2006 4:49:40 AM | You're either meeting the wrong women, or women see you as cheap.
A man should pay for the first few dates. After that, a woman should reciprocate. But reciprocation doesn't necessarily mean 50/50. A relationship shouldn't come down to check splitting (who had the "tuna melt", and "did you eat more than half the oysters?"), or discussions of "who paid last time"?
In my last relationship I had significantly more money than the guy. So I paid for more than half the dates, and most of the trips. It didn't make any difference to me. In fact, I tried to make the fact I paid more and more often occur in such a way so that it didn't hurt the guy's ego. It's only money, not a contest.
The reason for both parties to contribute something to the relationship is to show that they both care. But when you first date someone, you don't know everything about the net worth of the person sitting across the table from you. Perhaps some of these ladies can't afford to contribute. If she invites you for a meal at her place, or rents a movie at home, that shows she cares, but just might not be able to carry the freight for meals out and other more expensive entertainment.
I take all this back if she arrives at the date driving a brand new Lexus, wearing a designer mink coat, or the jewelry she's wearing exceeds your yearly income, and she still expects you to pay for all the dates. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/16/2006 4:57:47 AM | I don't know about that. Maybe I'm mildly old-fashioned, but if I ask a girl out on a date, I feel obligated to pay for the date. I don't feel that she has to contribute.
Seeing someone on a regular basis is different. You go Dutch and spliut costs down the middle or you take turns treating one another. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/16/2006 5:22:23 AM | if i ask a girl out, i definitely think i should pay. but 2 things make me mad about the paying issue.
1. if the girl asks me out, why should she expect me to pay? i always insist on paying anyway, but if you ask me out, you should at least volunteer to pay. after all, it was YOUR idea. also, i met a girl last year and we made arrangements to go to a casual place to have a few drinks and get to know each other. after i got there, she changed her mind and suggested we go to this other restaurant. i had no idea what it was, so i said ok. after i paid for our $100 dinner, i was so pissed i could not end the date quick enough. that was very rude and i shoulda insisted on separate checks since hers accounted for 3/4 of it (4 glasses of wine, etc.).
2. i hate when girls insist on equal treatment except when it benefits them. dont pull that crap because we all know it is garbage. you don't want to pay equally, open doors equally, etc. when it comes to that you expect to be "treated like a lady." in these cases it means you want UNFAIR treatment. that being said, i always treat my dates as a gentleman should. i just dont want to hear her **** about not being treated equally the next time i run to get the car in a monsoon while she waits inside the store! | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/16/2006 7:09:21 AM | Vent post...vent replies. 
Maybe the women in question think that paying for the date is proper compensation for the fact that they have blessed you with their presence.
Men w/o a sense of financial responsibility turn me off on a first date. I won't take advantage, but with all the sexist BS I have to put up with as a woman...pull out your wallet and shut up. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/16/2006 8:59:58 AM | chris:
women tend to think this way as a result of many factors,.
there are good and bad in every situation
you could go on and on with the whys of things,.......
id suggest making it clear on your profile how you feel about the dates,.
and the first date.
I ask myself why a man would advertize himself by posting his picture with his really hot car, boats your big toys .ok so your proud of it ok...but as a result you end up with women who are drawn to that,.....
ive seen mens ads where they advertize wealth and then state not looking for some one after money they use it as a draw,.....is that like dangling a carrot,.and what types do you draw that way.....
the clearest answer i could relate to you is a high number of women are still very instintual
meaning it goes back to the days of the cave man
women are attracted to hunter gathers,
.......
thats easy back in the day a man had to be fearless to bring home the dino...
risk takers providers,protectors, women needed to know there offspring would, prosper ....we were built to survive, and so in doing so a woman even unaware of it will hunt for a man who can protect and provide,.... dont blame all women......
im not talking about women who are users.......
just think about what im saying maybe it will help you with women
why why why its never ending
personally im a modern woman with old fashion ideas of sorts,......
honor,respect,loyality,
on a first date I would hope the man was gentlemenly enough to pay for dinner,....
what does he get in return.........well every thing in life is a risk,....
you get to spend time with a very honest kind loving woman,.....
and see how things go,.....
nothing in life is a sure thing,..... good luck Cris | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/16/2006 10:01:50 AM | | Probably the kind of women you meet. Some women think you owe them the world...I find women that are like tha, place more value on what you can financially offer them vs what you can emotionally offer them. Personally, if I asked a guy out, I'd pay because I asked him initially. If he asks me out for a first date I'd assume he'd pay. Moving on from the first few dates tho? If he insists on paying for dinner, I'd leave the tip, but I do prefer to mix it up and pay the full shot myself sometimes too. It's 50/50 in any relationship...and that goes for everything as far as I'm concerned. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/16/2006 10:55:03 AM | I don't care what you all say, I am going to teach my son some
old fashioned values. Never ask a woman for money, for one, and
to always pay her way, and not be a big baby and cry over money
spent!  | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/16/2006 1:09:45 PM | | I myself am a bit ole-fashion. If a man asks me out on a date,I feel he should pay,especially if it is your first date. If I ask a man to go out for dinner,then I have no problem paying. If you have been together for awhile then I feel both should contibute. I feel the same way as milton73 feels as far as taking turns treating one another. Bernadina | |
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kame
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Joined: 4/7/2006
Msg: 15 | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/16/2006 1:18:55 PM | the other day i picked up a cosmo magazine. There was an article about how to trick men into doing what you want, including advice on how to get to eat for free at expensive restaurants by tricking men into believing that you are interested in them romantically.
To say I was absolutly apalled would be an understatement. It's noteven that this advice exists, but that it seems to be perfectly acceptable. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/16/2006 1:38:05 PM | Oh come on now.. dinner/date does'nt cost that much.
Perhaps not. But what if the person is a single parent working a minimum wage job, paying rent, bills, etc? To go to the movies, pay for 2 tickets, a drink each and popcorn for you and your date, you are easily spending $35. Let's add on dinner for 2 people at the low end of $25. Now to you $60 may not be alot of money...for another person..it may mean the difference between groceries for an entire one week for them, or a night out to impress a gal.
I have no problem in my guy paying, however I will always suggest I pay the full shot from time to time. If he pays for the meal, I'll take care of the tip, etc. Not out of obligation, but because it's fare, and I don't need/want him paying all the time.
I don't care what you all say, I am going to teach my son some
old fashioned values. Never ask a woman for money, for one, and
to always pay her way, and not be a big baby and cry over money
spent!
That's great, but I hope you also teach him that not every woman wants a man paying all the time, and that he may find a great girl who will want to pay from time to time, and that he shouldn't take offence to it lol | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/16/2006 1:39:14 PM | Depends who is asking....if you are asking...you pay..If she asks then she pays....
It would be VERY tacky to ask someone out and on a date and ask for them to pay all or partial on the bill. When Emailing...you should bring that out into conversation so you already have that down... | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/16/2006 1:48:44 PM | | I have been on a number of dinner dates and when the bill comes to the table I always offer to split the cost of the evening with the date , having said that the men I have dated have always graciously refused which is very nice and the gesture is much appreciated,,, but I certainly did not enter the evening with the understanding they would pay whether or not it was them who asked me out... | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/16/2006 5:52:13 PM | yep..traditions seem to die hard.
My personal rule of thumb is anything you would do for a friend is ok, e.g. I'll buy this round, you buy the next, short on cash?..ok you get it next time.
Given that there is such a range of expectations I think you should discuss it up front (regardless of whether your beliefs may be perceived as "Sugardaddy" or "Cheap **stard" it is a lot easier to deal with in advance than when the check comes!) | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/16/2006 6:51:50 PM | | I'm not really responding to Johnnynoname, I'm basically agreeing with him. I can understand "most women" expecting us to pay, we've been doing it so long they have come to believe its a part of dating and they deserve it. We chase they bait and if were real lucky we might get a smile. Guys always act like women are gold and were mining for it, so what do we expect. I listened to a Lady Psychiatrist who responded to this same question. Her advice " ask a Woman to join you for a night out, ask where you should go, what she wants to do, just like asking any other friend, then suggest you go dutch". You'll seperate the mooch from the real deal. As for Equality, never was the goal It was always about better than. If a bill was presented that guaranteed that every thing was equal, the draft, child custody, alimony, it would go down in flames so fast your head would spin. Thank God there are Woman out there who resist temptation and really want to contribute to the date or any part of a relationship and not just go for the ride. We Guys should find a way to seek them out and put their picture on a calendar instead of silicone Pam, or we can just shut up and keep paying. The Goddess's expect it because we do it! A very wise older man told me, " kid until you start thinking with the right head, nothing is going to change". That was 30 years ago, he was right. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/16/2006 8:31:27 PM | Squeak,squeak,squeak...... If u want her to pay then say so when u first email her...then u will never go on a date....i am not cheap...i was raised old fashioned...i don't take advantage ...i don't eat much anyway...if it is going to be a big deal then i wouldn't want to have a first date with u... good i'm glad the question came up, now my list will be less to cut...and if a man makes more wage then me and has the means then why should i pay?
I am a generous woman...and i'm good to friends, family and who i date...but come on...what's going on here? I can't stand a cheap man or woman. If u don't have it and are poor then i understand. But i am not at that place so u need to pick someone where your at. Right? If i have to buy by dinner on a first date...i'll stay home or go out with someone else or cook my own dinner at home...lots of options...have water, bring your own water.
Good luck and happy fishing...don't email me. Goodness gracious Charlie Brown  | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/16/2006 9:05:26 PM | I have an odd way of approaching this whole thing, and it depends on the connection.
If there isn't one, I take the bill first, and leave my part. There isn't any arguing with me on this one..I refuse to let someone that I'll probably not see again pay for anything for me.
If I've had a pleasant time, when the bill arrives, I have a 10 second rule. If we're ready to go and he doesn't reach for it before I count out 10 in my head, I'll take it, and drop a credit card on it. I absolutely won't see someone again if they actually let me pay for the whole thing without offering to at least contribute. I've had that happen, and I was almost horrified.
I always make an effort to pay my way and the dates I've had where someone paid for me and refused even tip money were always people that I saw again. Not because they paid, but because I liked them enough to let them pay. People that aren't cheap are always rewarded likewise. I refuse their money the next date. It's not a matter of money with me. I have my own and I spend it on whatever I wish. The gesture is mannerly, and I'll never be caught in the presence of a boor twice.
That might seem a bit harsh, but if you're not financially in a position to spring for the first date then you should wait until you are. Actually, now that I think of it, that applies to men and woman equally. (don't spend more than you have in your wallet?)
That was pretty rambly, wasn't it? | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/17/2006 12:08:05 AM |
That might seem a bit harsh, but if you're not financially in a position to spring for the first date then you should wait until you are.
that's awfully silly, dating is only for people of means? | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/17/2006 12:40:31 AM | ^^
I meant that if you can't afford to cover both meals at a restaurant, then you should be at a drive through window, unless this is something that you've discussed prior to leaving for your date. | |
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