| Why do more women say in their profiles
Posted: 10/17/2006 2:53:11 PM | ...that appearances count, they're looking for chemistry, no photo no reply, etc. than men do?
I've scanned a lot of male profiles from contacts on the forums, and rarely do they have stipulations like that. One would think that men, being more visual and by conventional wisdom more shallow than women, would state that more often. Do women feel guilty and/or defensive when they say appearances count? Or are they just as superficial as men? | |
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| Why do more women say in their profiles
Posted: 10/17/2006 2:56:03 PM | I really hate that word superficial.
Anyway, women may have more of a problem with faceless men emailing them (married guys, guys who are too insecure to show their faces, etc.) so that may be where that no pic = no reply comes from.
The fact of the matter is that appearance does count and chemistry is necessary.. I've seen plenty of male profiles with stipulations (weight, age, hair color, all sorts of things) so we're all visual creatures. | |
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| Why do more women say in their profiles
Posted: 10/17/2006 7:14:16 PM | | Because so many men (not all, but a lot) misrepresent themsleves in their profile that by at least posting a picture they have some credibility. Appearances do count, but not for shallow reasons like you think. I'm not saying all men need to be "hot", "buff" or anything like that, but it gives an indication of a person. Are they tatooed? Blue hair? A different race? 60 years old or 18? Some of these are important factors to a woman. A picture says a lot of things - no, it's not everything, but as a woman I like to know who is emailing me - it gives a person a face, makes them a little more real. I don't think it's shallow at all - why would I correspond with someone whose face I didn't see? Is it any different than someone calling me randomly on the phone saying "hi I'm nice please go out with me"? Chemistry is different for everyone - I may just not be attracted to you, or I may find your eyes warm and kind and want to know you better - there is sometimes no rhyme or reason, and it's nothing personal - it's just a first impression I have of you. I have dated men I thought were gorgeous and my friends just could not see it, I have dated typically good looking men, blond, brown haired, blue eyed, green eyed, Canadian, Bosnian - it was about the whole physcial person I liked, no type, just how I felt when I looked at them - I wanted to know them more. So, when a woman asks for your picture, don't automatically assume they are looking for a standard of attractiveness - there are other reasons that this. | |
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| Why do more women say in their profiles
Posted: 10/17/2006 7:30:08 PM | | I state right in my profile why I want to see a picture of who's emailing me. Not for any other reason than the reason I put down. I do not want to be chatting up with someone I can't see who they are only to find out down the road they are a family member, my neighbour, my friend's boyfriend or a co-worker. That would be disturbing. My reason is as simple as that. | |
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| Why do more women say in their profiles
Posted: 10/17/2006 7:46:56 PM | | Call it whatever u want if i am not attracted to someone i wont and cant be with them in any emtional manner. There has to be an attraction. | |
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| Why do more women say in their profiles
Posted: 11/15/2006 1:42:05 PM | People just like to know who they are talking to. How many people like a mystery?
on the other hand Are people just messaging you based upon your picture? I guess it goes ethier way, someone's not going to be satisfied. I choose not to post a picture up, when I message them I always include one, or vise versa. I think it's more of a security thing with me. | |
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| Why do more women say in their profiles
Posted: 11/15/2006 2:19:42 PM | basically because men do not get a lot of mail.....restrictions would cause even less....
but they work for me! I'm not into...."sorta, kinda and maybe's" | |
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| Why do more women say in their profiles
Posted: 11/15/2006 2:51:30 PM | | Women are more hung up on looks than men? Aw, come on, that's BS. Maybe the younger ones, but we older women want a man who's going to treat us right. When you get older you can't expect your dates to look 20, unless you're dating 20 year olds. I don't have a picture up yet, have gotten little response. I'm planning on dragging my happy azz to the store to get my pic on a disk. I bet I still don't get much response, because I'm not skinny or young. Everybody knows that men are more visual than women. Since I don't read the women's profiles, I don't know how many want to see pics of the men contacting them, but it's always been my experience that the men are more concerned about looks, even if they themselves look like the wrath of God. | |
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| Why do more women say in their profiles
Posted: 11/15/2006 2:58:47 PM | Wow! I've been flamed for making the same excuses you gals make!
women may have more of a problem with faceless men emailing them (married guys, guys who are too insecure to show their faces, etc.)
I THINK this should work both ways!
Because so many men (not all, but a lot) misrepresent themsleves in their profile
and of course women don't?
Are they tatooed? Blue hair? A different race? 60 years old or 18? Some of these are important factors to a woman.
I'd kinda like to know those things too!
but as a woman I like to know who is emailing me
not me.....us men don't care WHO e-mails us!
There has to be an attraction
yeah! That's what I say!!!
I choose not to post a picture up, when I message them I always include one
Good Idea!
So, when a woman asks for your picture, don't automatically assume they are looking for a standard of attractiveness - there are other reasons that this.
Yes yes yes!!! Same for us guys!!!
   
OK....I feel better now! Thankyou for your support! | |
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| Why do more women say in their profiles
Posted: 11/15/2006 3:07:59 PM | | because they want to know what you look like, don't want to hook up with somebody scary looking I would guess. I don't reply to people without pics. I'm not all about looks but need to get an idea to see if it's somebody my age, looks like my type etc. | |
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| Why do more women say in their profiles
Posted: 11/15/2006 3:34:49 PM | | I specify in my profile, that looks are not the most important thing. But after the 3 men I have met~~that will need to change. I have a rather boring profile, to keep the maniacs away. So are u suggesting that I put the whole truth? If a mans face looks like he get run over with a freight train, that would not steer you away?? I hate the word shallow~~and superficial is not me. But should I tell in my profile, my breast size?? That would be shallow. And I would have a ic on if I was on a computer~~cause my looks sure aren't bad for my age!! As I wonder why neomitch has no photo: | |
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| Why do more women say in their profiles
Posted: 11/15/2006 3:54:10 PM | Yea I've seen that, "must have chemistry", like there's something I can do about it. How about a side order of chemistry, will you have some fries with your chemistry Ma'am?
must must must, gotta have . . . , "sweep me off me feet", no wait I'm already "laid back", "kiss me" . . . but "no sex" (gotta wait at least an hour for that) "must know how to treat a lady" ;)
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| Why do more women say in their profiles
Posted: 11/15/2006 4:42:39 PM | Asking for a pic is fair, that's not saying too much.
As far as anything else goes, if she's written alengthy profile you better bloody well read it if you want more than a quick e-mail chat. | |
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| Why do more women say in their profiles
Posted: 11/15/2006 11:59:15 PM | Cause we know that if it looks bad, shut the effin lights off! Why else is it called doggy style??? Or "my the top of your head looks loverly tonight". We don't care!! Some ladies are better off the type to not go on public dates with, so be it! A snuggle date and play big spoon.. still don't have to look at it.. | |
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| Why do more women say in their profiles
Posted: 11/16/2006 9:01:21 AM | | i`ve been on other dating sites where i didn`t have a foto up.. men would im me & ask 'can i c a pic. of u?'.. some men may not put it in their profile about no foto, no response.. but its guarnteed that they will ask 4 one eventually.. personally i like 2 c whom i`m talking 2.. don`t u neo?.. and of course appearances count.. u wouldn`t wanna date someone that didn`t take care of him/herself right?.. unless that would be 'ur cup o tea'.. | |
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| Why do more women say in their profiles
Posted: 11/16/2006 9:06:40 AM | | i believe men like me want to see what they are getting although most photos are not up to date .guys like me will mail you photos because .i dont need unnessary comments .i want yopu to like the way i look first all the defects will come later lol | |
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| Why do more women say in their profiles
Posted: 11/16/2006 9:16:50 AM | I think it's only fair to want to know if there's a physical attraction.
That doesn't necessarily mean the person's standards are too high.
There could be something about you that attracts you to them , your eyes, your smile, whatever - despite the fact that you may not be considered overly attractive by conventional standards.
So, by not posting a pic or at least sending a pic with your msg you are lowering your chances of success.
Hey, that's just my opinion, sorry.
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| Why do more women say in their profiles
Posted: 11/16/2006 11:27:18 AM |
Frankly, when it comes to looks in a man, women are very shallow.
How interesting...did you survey *all* women to come up with such an absolute? I can understand why some people don't want to post their pictures, as some still feel weird looking online to meet someone, they don't want family/friend work colleagues seeing them on a dating site, etc....but since they can see what I look like it's only fair that the least they do is send a picture when they make contact. I like to put the face to the name and at least know who I'm talking with. If that's seen as shallow, so be it...but I think that's making a very incorrect assumption. I've dated extremely good looking men and men who wouldn't stop anyone in their tracks, and their looks never made any difference...it's the whole package that counts - and too many times those that are really good looking haven't had any substance behind them.
Yea I've seen that, "must have chemistry", like there's something I can do about it. How about a side order of chemistry, will you have some fries with your chemistry Ma'am?
must must must, gotta have . . . , "sweep me off me feet", no wait I'm already "laid back", "kiss me" . . . but "no sex" (gotta wait at least an hour for that) "must know how to treat a lady" ;)
Interesting...I've seen a number of extremely specific profiles from both men and women, and I see nothign wrong with that; they're stating their preferences. Some will stick to their preferences while other won't, but it's still their choice as to what they're looking for. While I think certain preferences (such as eye and hair color) are limiting, there are some other preferences that are dealbreakers for some people (things such as smoking, doing drugs, etc.) As far as having chemistry, yes, that is an important aspect when meeting someone; if there's no mutual attraction (which is the definition of chemistry) then why would they want to bother seeing each other again? It's either there or it's not. Most people know when they meet someone if there's enough interest to want to get to know them more or not...if they do, then there was some chemistry there. Chemistry doesn't mean they meet and instantly want to only be with each other. It simply means there was enough of an attraction between them that they want to meet again and get to know more about each other. | |
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| Why do more women say in their profiles
Posted: 11/16/2006 12:03:29 PM | why do we wright more, because most women out there have been bruised, trashed, and beated from insdie and out, we want to make sure we find exaclty what we are looking for with anything. Dont be so lost with this, many women just know what they want based on factual evidence from past relationships. | |
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