| To love a military guy in these times
Posted: 10/20/2006 4:39:15 PM | | I am in the army and I am a single guy divorced 2 years ago, I ask all the women who read this to think about my job. I am a combat medic and I am assigned to an infantry unit and we are getting deployed in january 07. I guess the subject that I am addressing is the fact that my military service plays and issue in the dating game. Hey all a guy wants is to find someone to love and maybe get a letter in the combat zone and maybe find the love of their life. Thats all im looking for, I go to work and do my job I go home and am alone night after night. I guess that the true subject of this to to find out why women are scared to be with a military guy. We dont ask for sympathy, we dont ask to be called a hero, we just ask for a woman to give us a chance and realize we are human. We love and we hate, we are emotional and we sometimes have to be cold. but the biggest thing i can say is that we are human and we have every emotion that you hold inside you. We get lonely and we wonder if what we are doing is the right thing. We wonder if the person we e-mail on here is going to like us for who we are. But it still comes down to this, we are going to war and does that effect the thinking of the person responding. Well I beleive that it does and I beleive that if you gave us a chance then you wouldnt be dissapointed but , still you need to be cautous and you still need to have integrity. I hope that everyone out there finds the love of thier life I hope nothing but good responses happen from this. To all of you who read this I say good luck and may your wishes come true. | |
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| To love a military guy in these times
Posted: 10/20/2006 5:29:42 PM |
But it still comes down to this, we are going to war and does that effect the thinking of the person responding.
You already know the answer, hun. It's scary and it's hard.
But lots of women (and men, today, too) still fall in love and stay in love with a person who may never come home to them. I don't think those who don't want to take that chance are bad or weak or whatever. And I don't think it's a mistake for you to be looking, even though you're going into danger soon. Because you just might find that special woman today, tomorrow, next week. If not, you've tried. You, and those in your boots, likely know more than most that life is short, but it's also sweet.
I hope at this very moment some lovely young woman is reading your profile and working up the nerve to write you.
No matter what, you be careful, OK? Best, best wishes. | |
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| To love a military guy in these times
Posted: 11/18/2007 10:22:24 PM | | A relationship with a military man takes a lot more patience, strength, love, understanding, trust, and communication than a regular civilian one. It's all worth it for the right person though, if you fine someone that makes it all worth it, the relationship is even more special =). | |
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| To love a military guy in these times
Posted: 11/18/2007 10:29:37 PM | I'm not too far from a military town, so a lot of the guys in my "75 mile range" search ARE in the military, and it scares the hell out of me - I won't lie.
One of my friends at my previous place of employ had a significant other deployed to Afghanistan and she was just a wreck. I am an independant, strong woman that can stand a lot of things but terrified calls in the middle of the night from across the ocean where you have to be strong because he's scared, even though you're also terrified out of your wits.... maybe requires someone stronger than I am.
I actually had a brief flirtation with a really nice guy in the military, I think that it may have been what stood between us and a great relationship - now he's been deployed and I haven't heard from him in forever - keep checking the news headlines as there are Canadian soldiers coming home in caskets on a regular basis. | |
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| To love a military guy in these times
Posted: 11/18/2007 11:02:44 PM | A good topic, and not only for women dating men in the forces, but men dating a woman in the forces.
Either way it does take a lot of dedication, being separated for so long at a time, and dreading that knock on the door to find your loved one has made the ultimate sacrifice. | |
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| To love a military guy in these times
Posted: 11/19/2007 2:30:45 AM |
why women are scared to be with a military guy
This seems to be your intended question and I will take a stab at it.
I speak only from opinion, not actual first hand experience (with the exception that my brother served overseas after 911).
I think many women base their opinions of what military life will be like on movies and media they have seen. Most women 40 and under have been fortunate to grow up in a peaceful time in our world. This is all new to them. Just like you don't know what to expect the first time you go overseas, neither do they.
They are afraid to end up alone because you are killed. They may or may not have an opinion on the ongoing conflict, but ultimately, they don't want that car with the military personnel showing up at their door.
Basically they are not strong enough to handle the "unknown" factor. This is not a slam on them, just fact. I have always said it takes a special woman to be able to be involved with/married to a military man because you just never know what your future holds. No one really does, but you can be pretty sure that the accountant isn't going to be killed by and IED a month from now driving down main street. Yes accidents happen, bad things happen to everyone. But because of your career choice they increase 80% overnight.
I wish you all the best in your search for a woman who is strong enough to support you. She is out there.
And thank you for serving. It is appreciated. | |
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| To love a military guy in these times
Posted: 11/19/2007 6:03:30 AM | As someone who was married to a military man, let me answer this as well.
1. Military men deploy often and for long periods of time leaving loneliness on both sides
2. Because of above, these relationships usually have one or the other having an affair, usually the man (no offense), but sometimes both.
3. Women are afraid of the PTSD factors. As someone who was married to a guy who went to Iraq, it is very scary. Hearing the details was very hard. Dealing with his emotional aftermath and trying to help, but him not wanting the help in any way, is even harder.
4. Of course as everyone else stated, a huge reason is fear of something bad happening to your loved one.
5. Military men who are stationed near you may be originally from another state so when they are ready to get out or retire, they often want to move back to that state where the woman wants to stay here, where she is originally from.
6. For one reason or another (most listed above) the divorce rate for military marriages is higher than the national average, which is already too high. | |
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