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| I'll review your profile and offer helpful suggestions
Posted: 10/21/2006 4:52:23 PM | freyja,
I think you did a great job with your profile. Since you are my first respondant, and I love to write, I'd love to play around with it a bit, and send you what I come up with..
otherwise here are a few small details you can take care of:
--Capitalize all your interests. Just gives them a cleaner look.
--your pictures are great, the two underwater ones give insight into one or more interests,:diving, snorkeling, water sports in general...
--your main picture is fine, you are a very attractive woman. I would have a friend take a few more pictures of you and upload two of the best out of those. One should be a shot standing showing your entire body.
--Your "First Date" section is highly entertaining, fine job. I'll give you a couple editing options to consider.
--The part of your profile at the very bottom just does not work in the context of the entire profile. That is not to say you will not be able to use it...just need to edit a bit to introduce those ideas smoothly.
the following has always bothered me to see on any profile & see my comments on it.
Male
Age between 35 and 65
Must not have messaged users looking for intimate encounters or sex.
Must not be looking for Hang Out
Must not be looking for Short-Term
Must not be looking for Photo Exchange
Must not be looking for Other Relationship
Must not be looking for Intimate Encounter
Must not do drugs
Must not be married
I do not feel these "must not do", "be looking for" are necessary, and worse, leaves a negative impression at the very end of an otherwise great profile.
While I understand there are requirements you may have, there are better ways to present them.
One way is to state “what you are looking for” that is counter to the “must not do”
One or two max is ok, ie: “Must not be married” and “Must not do drugs”
But to list all erroneously conveys the idea that you are uptight. Although you are definitely not at all uptight as I can perceive…the impression that is left can’t be denied.
Just something to consider. | |
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| I'll review your profile and offer helpful suggestions
Posted: 10/21/2006 7:16:42 PM | Kimmie,
Oh, so you are now trolling the forums and stalking me ...hmmmmm? Wooing me is one thing, but hunting me down like this? ... I think I like it.
All kidding aside, your profile is awesome, the pictures are GREAT and this is well written.
However, there are some major editing to be done here in order to maximize your chances of drawing in the audience you are targeting in greater numbers.
You have a few points that are obviously very important to you as you have made mention of these right off the bat, but as an introduction do not work...
OK ... here is the subject matter in question, some food for thought, what I would suggest omitting and why...as well as to present what it is you are after clearly yet incorporated in your profile so it does not stand out harshly.
I am interested in meeting new people for new experiences - not sexual experiences, mind you. I was never promiscuous and have ended an 18 year marriage within the past couple of years. I have spent this time checking my baggage and unpacking what I could. I am not looking for a valet as I continue to work on letting go of the rest. I am looking to see what life holds for me. I am a Christian, and believe that God has a plan for my life.
I would scrap this entire paragraph. This is so much information in a small paragraph as to be overwhelming. I'd suggest taking point by point and wording it in a different way, and spreading it out a bit.
One thing in particular: I would not mention at all...THIS:
ended an 18 year marriage within the past couple of years.
Get rid of this statement. You are where you are today. Your past experience is in the past, and although your past had an influence on who you are and how you arrived at the place you are right now.. It is history. You are making a fresh start. The more you can disassociate yourself from the past the better. Dating 101. No mention of past relationship.
I have spent this time checking my baggage and unpacking what I could. I am not looking for a valet as I continue to work on letting go of the rest.
The whole mention of "baggage" and various cute ways people make mention of it is cliché, and way overdone. "Oh, I've got my baggage down to a tiny carry-on" Or "Please don't have excessive baggage...best to travel light!"... You want to stand out from the crowd. You don't do that with catch phrases. With this particular idea it is not worth mentioning at all. If you present yourself as a healthy and attractive person this is totally unnecessary. Pet peeve? Maybe, but I'd venture to say many feel the same way.
I am interested in meeting new people for new experiences - not sexual experiences, mind you.
Begin the "About Me" section with a couple descriptive paragraphs strictly all about you. Positive statements only. If you are not looking for sexual experiences, you do not need to state that statically.
Instead, get the same message across using a more positive approach...for example say something like "I feel it is very important to take things slowly in a new relationship. I admire someone who is wise enough to take the time to get to know me intimately in a way that offers me love and respect. Taking your time with me will ultimately result in a fuller and more satisfying expression of love down the line. Healthy respect for one another is a key component in healthy relationships."
Elaborate more on what exactly you are looking for. What new experiences appeal to you? What activities are you passionate about? What have you always wanted to do and have not done yet? Are you open to doing something you find fascinating, yet out of your comfort zone? Example, if you have never jumped out of a plane, because the very idea of it scares you...would you consider sky diving if with a person with whom you at ease?
I am a Christian, and believe that God has a plan for my life
Best to allow the resulting positive benefits of having a faith in God, and a spiritual life speak for itself. The term “Christian” is perceived by many as organized religion. As you likely know, the Bible, which is the main text for both Christians and Jews isn’t too keen on religion at all.
There are only two references to religion in the Old Testament and two in the New Testament and all four are ambivalent at best. With that said, you may know exactly what you mean by stating that you are a Christian. That does not really matter when dealing with others who may have a skewed perception of what that means. Many simply perceive “religion” and want to run away. Considering what “religion” represents to them I doubt you could blame them.
I looked up the following verse in the Book of James in the New Testament:
“Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to care for orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.”
Well, simply do these, live it, and lose the label that many will misunderstand.
You are on track with the following, and I would begin your profile with what you already have starting with, after deleting the first paragraph...
I love water sports, in fact I love water. I drink, but not to excess and not daily. I'm a wonderful cook and am happiest in the kitchen preparing a meal for someone. Dinner for 25 is no problem. I'm also a great shopper. I love to shop (I do not believe shopping is a sport or a hobby, I believe it is a career. A penny saved is a penny earned, so when I shop instead of thinking in terms of how much I spent, I think of how much I earned.) and take pride in purchasing a great anything for less than the cost of the bag I carry it out in.
I am feminine, and love getting dressed up, stiletto heels but I'm equally comfortable in faded blue jeans and a flannel shirt. At different times I need both. I've never really been able to figure out what "high maintenance" means, but if it means that I take care of myself, then I qualify.
This is a great way to begin your profile, and fine job...although some minor editing is suggested. I'll email a couple suggestions for you if you wish. | |
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| I'll review your profile and offer helpful suggestions
Posted: 10/22/2006 1:56:10 PM | writer59
You have done an excellent job here. This looks great. May I just offer a few improvements?
Take a couple minutes to go to your listed interests and capitalize each one. It just gives the overall appearance of your profile a neater cleaner look. -a must. And easy to fix.
I did notice a couple misspelled words in your listed interests 1. Traveling 2. Forest <---these are the two words, spelling has been corrected. No worries. Look like typos to me!
Your photos are great, You are a very attractive woman.
Interestingly enough, I would normally say put your best head shot as your primary photo.However This picture of your beautiful legs really does work for you, and the placements of your photos look perfect to me.
Don’t change a thing with the photos
Right on!
In your About Me
Hi, I'm looking for someone to hang out and have a good time with. I value my friendships and am loyal in return. I have a great sense of humor, and am very creative. I also enjoy cooking and going to the beach.
I'm a painter, and photographer. I also write nonfiction stories. Or mostly true!
These two little paragraphs need some work....well, the one paragraph and the sentence below it...but this is good. It is a starting place.
You just need to expand on the few things mentioned. Give yourself at least two paragraphs containing five sentences each describing in detail your pursuits. What do you paint? Describe. Do this for everything mentioned above.
I am deaf. I have no problems with deafness; there's a lot to be said for getting a good night's sleep! But before you start thinking of the great advantages you could have here, such as sneaking an extra cookie or screaming out your ex's name, you will find that I have a very sharp eye and am an expert lip reader. OK, maybe not in the dark, so you do have that advantage! The downside is that whispering sweet nothings to me are really.... nothing. And lest I "talk", or sign in my sleep, you could wake up with a black eye or bruised arms from fending off my "conversations".
This is very creative and funny. I can see where a little editing could improve it more if I may suggest the following:
Edited version: I am deaf. I have no problems with deafness; there's a lot to be said for getting a good night's sleep!
And just think of the possibilities! You could have your buddies over for a fun poker game lasting loudly into the wee hours, and I won't be bothered as I'll be sleeping, or reading....
In a nostalgic mood? Just pull out those favorite Commodore records, and play them as loudly as you want. It won't bother me! Although you always look odd jumping around the room in that lime green leisure suit and that obnoxious orange satin neck tie...6 inch platform shoes...hey, I don't need to be concerned, as I'll go take a nap and put it all out of my mind.
I did not spend a lot of time with these examples…but do take your time and come up with something similar in your own words…be creative!
Screaming out your ex's name, you will find that I have a very sharp eye and am an expert lip reader. OK, maybe not in the dark, so you do have that advantage! The downside is that whispering sweet nothings to me are really.... nothing.
And lest I "talk", or sign in my sleep, you could wake up with a black eye or bruised arms from fending off my "conversations".
I see the idea you are going with on this, and very funny...but I have some trouble with it. I wonder if we can stay with the general idea, but come up with something else that may work better.
Kidding aside, yes I am really deaf, but I speak perfectly, and do not need to use sign language nor would you.
As I get down to here. I feel the focus is too much on your deafness, which is part of who you are, but does not define you.
If you have done well with the two intro paragraphs…likely 10 to 12 sentences, then that should balance it all out.
I took the liberty of some edits on the remaining..
Music is important to me. I come from a family of musicians, and I studied cello, piano and voice. This was quite a challenge, but I worked thorough it.
Although I can't talk on the phone the traditional way, we have many ways to communicate using today’s technology...
I am looking for a thoughtful and intelligent man, someone with sense of humor because I love to let my hair down and laugh. Email me! I’d love to hear from you! Include a photo because I do want to see what you look like…I am very visual, more than most.
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OK bottom line: Take these suggestions and then look at what you have after the changes are made. There will be some fine tuning to do after that, but some of the changes can be made very quickly. Put on your creative writing cap and have fun!
Good luck to you! | |
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| I'll review your profile and offer helpful suggestions
Posted: 10/22/2006 4:50:30 PM | SoulDragon Your photos are great in that if clicked on succession, you appear to move around. I would suggest taking some additional photos of yourself in your own environment...at least one full body shot, and one outdoors, maybe atop your trick bike.. ...and an absolute must:---> one posed seductively on your King Sized bed ... so those "dumb as rocks females", who are clearly your target audience won't need strain their grey matter with too much reading...They need to look at the pictures. They need to interpet what is is you want and who you are, solely from the pictures. Even if your profile was written in plain simple English without a single spelling or grammar error, the bottom line is likely your audience are illiterate...no need to place much value on proper word usage, etc. , other than cleaning it up a bit for your own peace of mind, and not to be perceived as a complete slacker.
The pictures, you see, are very, very important. Observe one of these girls "reading" Cosmo. Pictures, buddy...You are sunk without them. It may make sense to consider hiring a graphics consultant...Ideally someone with experience with those illustrated instruction pamphlets you get with the prefab furniture at IKEA, for example...
Hire a good photographer...a must …
Not to dismiss the importance of the written word. Your potential hook up will at least want the experience of appearing to read all about you...This makes her feel important, as well as feeling she is a real part of the decision making process, making informed choices and all that...you know girls...they are funny that way.
Sometimes you just gotta work it however you can...
So with that said, let's address a few points of interest, shall we?
a side note. As you see. I have reordered the paragraphs...suggestion only. I've just arranged things in a more ~in my own opinion ~ logical order...I have left the misspellings and poor word usage to maintain the integrity of your theme...and as not to confuse your target audience with proper English. What would be the point of that?
I'm a really laid back and goofy guy. If I can't make you smile then you have no facial muscles
Perfect for your opening line...Really sets the tone for this masterpiece...
I love going to rock concerts I also like Playin poker, video games, and going to see movies. If you ever need a movie critiqued by someone who is super picky, just ask me :P Otherwise I just like to hang out and do whatever, anything goes! :D
This is actually somewhat legible. What happened? This must be changed.......The content is great. You'll just need to mess up the grammar a bit...to be consistent and not confuse the ladies.
I love going to rock concerts I also like Playin poker, video games, and going to see movies.
Mention some bands you like to see ...who you would like to see, favorite venues…just expand a bit on all of this.
Otherwise I just like to hang out and do whatever, anything goes!
Maybe clarify this a bit. …
uh, oh…I think I see a very special sarcastic rant coming on…
Wait…come to think of it. I have done whatever! Once, I did some whatever, what an amazing time!
I remember it was so hard to contain myself as I ran home to call some friends over to join me.
This all sticks out clearly for me, as I remember how sad I was to learn all my friends were busy doing anything, and I wasn’t even sure where.
All I could do is sit awhile, staring blankly out the window, wondering how anything could be as much fun as whatever.
I decided that very day to not do anything. Whatever I do, and I am never going to do anything.
The headline says it all :P Friends with benefits only please. I don't necessarily want a one night stand, but if that's your cup of tea then I guess that's that. Someone where we can have sex and hang out but is mature enough to keep it just at a friendship level. I'm also not against the idea of just chatting or hanging out without the sex, so drop me a line! :P
Someone where we can have sex and hang out but is mature enough to keep it just at a friendship level.
This is truly a bizarre sentence structure:
I just am not sure about this. I’ll leave you on your own with this one.
I'm also not against the idea of just chatting or hanging out without the sex, so drop me a line!
This simply needs to be phrased better. Clearly stating in simple terms:
“I love hanging out and talking. I do not want to have sex.”
Now…mmmmmmmm…not exactly believable is it now? You can make up your own mind about leaving this particular line in.
On one hand, it is the most grammatically correct sentences on your profile.
On the other hand… the content runs contrary to everything else we have tried very hard to work up for you. What irony.
Edit (10/22/06):
I just picked this up from the forums here, words of wisdom...
This is wisdom.
It would be wise to remove this completely …
It basically means that he doesn't want the dramas of a relationship like being home at a certain time, not being able to go and do the things he enjoys doing, not being able to come and go as he pleases, not being able to hang with friends, arguing about bills, etc.............we would rather have FEMALE FRIENDS "WITH BENEFITS"........until we are ready to settle down. It's nothing personal against women. It just makes life simpler to deal with..........and there are women who would rather have male friends with benefits as opposed to being in a relationship and dealing with the ups and downs that go with it. It's a two way street.
I couldn’t decipher the idea or point this is trying to make…this is so convoluted, it made my head hurt reading it.
…my suggestion is simply remove it.
Replace it with some Gen. George Patton quotes.
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| I'll review your profile and offer helpful suggestions
Posted: 10/22/2006 7:06:06 PM | Hi Shycanadian!
Your profile looks very neat and orderly. The first thing I did notice was your photos (but of course...our eyes always land on pretty, and when we are done with that, we look to the black and white...for the cerebral stimulation that all humans crave.)
As complicated as some make us out to be...and, yeah...we can be that way at times
[As I digress, I remind myself to focus. whew! that was a close one...]
With these internet dating sites the main thing to remember is to keep things simple. In simple terms the profile is the focal point, and there are only two components of the profile.
1.) Pictures 2.) Text.
After these are taken care of, we are free to simplify, or complicate them at will, some choosing to have a version of each stashed away ...or several; choices for us are very good. Maybe a particularly dark one, for those times we feel the darkness creeping in on us.
[Again, I digress ~] --this serving to remind me I missed my Adderall...I'll be right on track in a bit...
OK...I'm back. Better. And Jack FM playing loudly helps me focus as well...
Back on track: Your pictures as I mentioned are the first items of interest on your profile. I do feel a bit of stress whenever commenting on someone's photos. I will ignore this particular anxiety and realize rightly, that I am here to help...and whatever I say will be in support of that idea.
OK:
You have posted four pictures. You have two very good pictures. You have two not so good pictures. The not so good pictures are not bad, just not very good...or a better way to say this: not as good as the very good ones.
If asked to choose the most attractive picture for you, the picture I would choose as your primary one is the one that shows you seated on the large ship anchor. If you are inclined, and have imaging software, Crop out everything in that picture, creating what will hopefully be a close up. You can upload and post that, and keep the original full sized one posted as well.
The other with the bright pink blouse is also a keeper ... looks like a candid shot, and candid shots are superior I think.
What to do with the other two? These look like and most likely were taken with a web cam type camera, or worse. A phone camera. It always puzzles me why people post these low rez images, when they are uploaded to a site server such as this one, they are further compressed and rezed out even more. What to do? Well, first crop that one photo and get it uploaded. Compare that with the full-sized image already posted. Use the one which looks best to you for your primary one...here you go, now you have three very good pictures...you will know which to use as the primary. Put the candid one next to that, and then put the remaining picture next to that. Now you will have three very good pictures, and although you are wearing the same clothing, the colors are bright, and will do a fine job to draw in the audience.
The other two pictures? Like I said, they are not very good, but not horrible. mmmm...is that the word I used? No, they are not horribly bad. but you will want to do away with them as soon as you have one of your dear friends to host a photo session for you...
You are a very attractive woman, and a suggestion for you is to have photos without sunglasses...Ideally, a close up shot showing a bright smile and sparkling eyes is favorable. With a good digital camera this is an easy task...one hint, take a bunch of shots. 100, 200...then go through and pick out the best, then the best of the best...posting the superior ones here.
That concludes the photo commentary.
Your interests: Fine job. Normally I would say capitalize these interests, but as long as everything else is in lowercase, it works in context of the whole.
auto races sports flea markets
yard sales camping music
stargazing
About Me
I tend to be a little shy until I get to know you but I have a heart of gold and full of surprises :) I am looking for someone who wants to feel love again as well as give it. To me, it's the small things in life that matter, like giving a hug, or just spending time together. Trust is also very important.
I would like to meet someone that is honest and will respect me as I do them. Someone that is confident and knows what he wants out of life. I don't believe in changing someone because it would never work. I'm not into the bar scene but I like a good BBQ or small get together.
First Date
Coffee or drinks in a public place where we could chat and get to know each other.
Mail Settings (To message ShyCanadian you MUST meet the following criteria.)
Male
Live in Canada
Live within 75 miles.
Must not be married
I think everything else rocks! It is very uplifting, and encouraging to find a profile without a single misspelling! Good for you!
Best of luck to you ! | |
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| I'll review your profile and offer helpful suggestions
Posted: 10/22/2006 7:14:35 PM | | i would love some suggestions!...i already know though that the "crazy" part has attracted a lot of guys that think im a party girl!!!...by crazy..i mean ..i do things or say things...that are crazy...silly,funny,,harmless..but crazy!!! hehehe | |
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| I'll review your profile and offer helpful suggestions
Posted: 10/22/2006 9:54:53 PM | buddylen
OK...
I need to tackle the most glaring problem with your website first.
This takes priority over obvious problems associated with your two pics you have posted
Working titles assigned presently:
Convict Picture #1 and.... Ex Convict in half-way house Picture.
It's clear which one is which, but as mentioned. Some more urgent matter to attend to:
THIS:
can u pick me. no, ok fair enough lol
I will not suggest you explain what this means, only a suggestion to change it. You would be better off using some strung together symbols in an artistic manner ~decoration~ than use this. Maybe something like this:
cool, huh? and I made it up in 4 seconds...you are free to use it...a non copyrighted freebie for you.
alrighty. Now to address the photo situation, which I may have.. overstated, exaggerated, and ... well, judged too harshly. It is clear to me; the intention is to create this bad boy persona, which fails ...only because it is not you at all. ...actually, it is unfair for me to make that kind of judgment of your photos, surely I jest! I do, indeed.
About Me
well about myself not surehow put it just basicly a down to earth very sincere kind of guy with a little wild side not to much just enough to keep it interesting and fun ,would like to meet someone who i can just be myself with where there's no pressure and see where it goes from there so if your not into players and not into head games and want to get to know a really sweet and nice guy who send me a little old message and i'll be sure to get back not looking for anyone to waste my time and am not going to waste your time i am looking for true love and a long term relationship i do have to say i am not to hopeful to find that on here but stranger things have happened so aperson never knows i do have a great job which keeps me out of trouble lol i do love summer going to the beach playing golf with my buds even if i loose most of the time still alot of fun am into allkinds of sports love hockey hard to get me out of the house when the playoffs start so maybe u can change that lol not likely lol jk love to have agood time don't mind being a little bad once in a while in a good way though lol don't know if that makes much sence lol well i guess if u want to know more fell free to ask so have yourself a great day and just be yourself
There is all good stuff in your profile. The best possible presentation is required to maximize it's appeal.
Below is an edited version I have created for you. I've removed the all the undesirable and offensive "lol's, corrected a little grammar and added some general statements to add a little more beef to it.
You seem like a great guy & and are well deserving...give this a try, you may be surprised.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
*edit*...transformation...magic.
About me, I am a down to earth, very sincere guy with a little wild side. I am just wild enough to keep it interesting and fun.
I would like to meet someone who I feel relaxed around, which allows me to be myself. You will prefer me to be that way. Straight forward, down to earth and real is the best way to be, and the only way for me.
If you want to get to know a really sweet and nice guy, send me a message and I’ll be sure to get back to you.
I’m not looking for anyone to waste my time. I am looking for true love and a long term relationship. I am not going to waste your time if that is not something you are looking for as well...
I would be very fortunate to find her here. That would be very cool, I am hopeful, yet this is just one more venue to allow for serendipity I do have a great job which keeps me out of trouble.
I love summer and going to the beach, playing golf with my buds and even though I lose most of the time it’s still a lot of fun. It’s all about the fun! I am into all kinds of sports.
I love hockey and it’s hard to get me out of the house when the playoffs start so maybe you can change that. I’ll let you surprise me with tickets for on the ice action.
I’ll be sure to make it special for you…We’ll cuddle when not jumping up and down cheering or screaming at the referees for a bad call.
I love to have a good time and don't mind being a little bad once in a while. Always in a good way, though. I think you know what I mean. If you want to know more feel free to ask! Email works perfectly well for that. Let’s get acquainted!
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First Date
Maybe start at Timmy's for coffee and if all goes well go for a walk, relax somewhere and just get to know each other. If we want to go on a second date and since winter is coming maybe lace up the old skates and go for skate and go for some hot chocolate afterwards in some cozy little coffee shop.
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You did a great job on this section...I cleaned up some punctuation for you, other than that, it's good to go. | |
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| I'll review your profile and offer helpful suggestions
Posted: 10/22/2006 11:59:33 PM | I have to say without a doubt this is one of the very best profiles I have seen anywhere.
Everything is right with it. I see nothing at all "wrong" with it. I'll attempt to phrase that in a slightly different way, just because I'd like to emphasize that point clearly: Here goes:
Ready?
This profile rocks so much, it seems trite to mention a tiny detail such as the following, and let’s quickly get that over and done with so I can enjoy commenting on everything I see about this I feel is profile perfection.
Your interests could be capitalized so they appear a bit neater and better organized. See? Just like this:
Music Photography Travel
Movies Theatre Parties
Or, maybe you intended the tinniest little imperfection as to make this a little
“rough around the edges”?
I hate to break it to you, but this minor change will result in absolutely a perfect internet dating profile, and being that perfect is a bit scary, isn’t it?
Photos: You have a very good variety of photos that are representative of you in your element and representing an active lifestyle.
Photo #1 Holding…what is that? Is that a real feline? Or is it a stuffed animal? Or is it something else? One thing that it is without a doubt, it is thought provoking, and that is better than it could be in addition to whatever it is. Yes, this is very good.
I hope a general statement about the other photos will be sufficient. All your photos work very well for you. Yes, short and sweet… there are others in dire need of my assistance.
The About Me section clearly shows the importance of breaking information into small, very easy to read sections ("sectionettes?"), Each alone being very brief and concise packet of information accurately giving the reader a “snapshot” of who this person is, and together a basic understanding of their personality, interests, attitudes and more. A person with keen perception and intuition can read between the lines and everything else considered, form a highly accurate picture of this person.
Muy Bueno!
Superb!
I do now have a new model of perfection which will help me in future profile reviewing endeavors. So, thank you very much. I bid you a very respectful ado.
Cheers!
About Me
If you're after something of the unexpected, then you are in the right place. I was born and bred in Sydney. I consider myself both passionate and ambitious in nature.
Even though I do not commit myself lightly to important decisions, when I do so, I do so with both loyalty and dedication.
Music and photography are my passions, and my friends have often commented that I am quite knowledgeable in the areas of my interest. But also have a love for travelling, movies/theatre, partying and exploring and discovering new things. I love to explore my hobbies and really take them places, pushing boundaries where I can and seeking to better myself.
I have a dry/sarcastic sense of humour, which is why I am a fan of TV shows like Scrubs, Family Guy, Invader Zim, Futurama, Black Adder, and more. But also enjoy watching light hearted comedies as well.
Spent many years of my life travelling both around Australia and overseas, as I've grown up, and it's something I have really enjoyed. It has given me opportunities to discover and learn more about other cultures and societies, and experience what the world has to offer. I intend to travel more again where opportunities exist in the future.
I am after an intelligent woman who looks after herself and loves experiencing life. Someone who I could share my life with, but we can have our own time seperately as well. Someone who has common interests, but also interests of her own, so we could learn and experience new things from each other.
First Date
Something pretty casual/easy going. Enjoy going to a cafe or pub with a good vibe/atmosphere.
The only comment I have this suggests by way of it's simplicity a very laid back welcoming attitude which is attractive based on my own understanding of women in general. | |
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| I'll review your profile and offer helpful suggestions
Posted: 10/23/2006 7:14:23 AM | ??, ??, ??, ??, ??
Kataklysmic, you’ve tracked me down and ask for a profile review! I aim to please, and will pull no stops. Although it appears to me your profile has already been tweaked, edited, re-tweaked, spell-checked, re-worked, re-edited, reviewed, criticized, plagiarized, and testimonialized, I will not make any casual assumptions that everything is in perfect order. I promise to uphold the integrity of my station here and if you haven’t already guessed, I am the king of this domain. And you…my little pretty, have become a pawn in my own
Disclaimer
If you think simply because you are a fellow Southern Californian, a Forum Friend, the genuine article blue blood royalty and revered member of POF high society, you will receive any special treatment from me...
MUHHAHAHAhahahahahaHAHAHAhahhahahauuuhhahaha.. !!! Duh! You’d be wrong.
I refuse to cut corners, cower or placate. I will give your profile the thorough inspection it deserves.
Then I will rip it to shreds.
I will not only simply go through the standard review of your photos; I will poke fun of them. Then I’ll download them carefully and meticulously draw mustaches on them with Photoshop, later posting them on Match, Yahoo, and that other singles site…that one with all those levels of compatibility and that nauseatingly overly “pleasant” spokesman. Yeah, you know the one... well; maybe I will spare you that one…
Anything I can find, relating to spelling issues, grammatical errors and punctuation problems …I will be unsympathetically harsh in pointing these errors out to you.
I will also make detailed notes of any revisions made, and follow up in two weeks to make sure everything is meeting or exceeding your expectations.
More importantly, to make sure you have not gone back and sneakily inserted a single “lol” or “OMG” into the reviewed, revised, and/or otherwise corrected finished final product.
I will treat this with all the indignant hostility it will so richly deserve.
With that I’ll go right into …
comments on your photos
Admittedly you have looks on your side, and age has been kind to you...so far. Watch out, as it will sneak right up on you. In four years you will be forty, and you can be assured, things generally fall apart after that.
{{Oh, be still my digressing heart}}…back to focus, another cup of coffee, and another adderall…
Photo #1 (primary) Here are my comments 30 minutes later … Well, honestly I sit with wonder and admiration, my eyes not wanting to leave this image of beauty. I have been in a foggy daydream for the last half hour or so… Wow. I must say I have never taken such a close look at you…your lips are so full and beautiful …sumptuously, extravagantly moisturized with whatever that red stuff is…I am only wondering what it tastes like…until I am interrupted with notice of how very beautiful and so very blue your eyes are…and now…feel…must ………stop…and..
…focus, Bill. She’s justa girl..justa girl justa…gi r l..{{reminding myself to breathe}}
OK no worries. Just some hyperventilation. It passed. I am fine now. I was going to mention the hair of this beautiful woman which screams out for hands running through the soft gentle locks and mention of the sly smile which erupts involuntarily as her face becomes slightly flush…and…..moving right along here…
Photo # 2 I get it. This is the daytime look. Cute. The shades are open. That is a cluttered desk behind in the background. Likely a prop to suggest this is a mere mortal…a very convincing illusion. No wonder Art Directors are so well compensated in this town.
Photo # 3 She tidied up the desk! And she looks beautiful in this picture. She must be going out somewhere … I’ll just go with my idea she is meeting me for c o c k t a i l s
in Hermosa Beach, and I better hurry up here, or I am going to be late.
Photo # 4 Why are eyeglasses on attractive women so sexy? It is a phenomenon.
Photo # 5 I think that beauty mark only adds to the devastatingly good looks of this woman.
Photo # 6 this is definitely a remarkable woman. I do not love the lighting here, but even the poor lighting in this photo can't diminish her beauty.
Photo # 7 Again…despite the lighting, this woman shines.
Photo # 8 what’s this? No photo 8? Where is…oh..*smile* yes. I get it.
This concludes the photo commentary extravaganza …
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Intermission Open Bar and refreshments … please no pushing or shoving
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Reading
Computers
Knowledge
Bubble Baths
Peanut Butter
Feeling Pretty
Rain
Sudoku
Camping
Thunder Storms
Tootsie Pops Lip Gloss
Musicals
Jimmy Stewart Hiking
Fishing
Firearms
Cooking
Crafty Stuff
Shoes
Gameshows
Alfred Hitchcock
Crossword Puzzles
George Carlin
80s Hair Bands
Billiards
Agatha Christie
Courtesy
B Horror Flicks
Getting My Nails Done
Bracelets
Living
Watching Other People Sew
Sushi
Jose Cuervo
Shelley West
Gallagher Hop Scotch
Online ANYTHING
My Cats
Life
Happy Things That Make Me Cry
Disneyland
Superbowl Commercials Snow
Forums
Hair Ties Fountains
Candles
Gardenias
My Webcam
Bamboo
Nightlights Cards
Smell Good Stuff Popsicles
Running Through Sprinklers
Hawaiian Punch Coffee
Bells
Card Games
Forensics
to name but a few as the list is endless
Interests The first word that comes to mind when looking at your interests is
Interesting then... fascinating, intriguing, very interesting…
You put a clever little note at the end of your interests….” to name but a few as the list is endless”
Well, let’s go with a few more! Here: Just to get the pump primed, and to add to this endless list…please allow me:
--Meeting Bill at the Lighthouse in Hermosa for drinks…
There. I hope this is helpful for you…I do see what you mean. The possibilities are infinite.
OK…now we have arrived…
Let’s dissect this ditty and see what makes this woman tick.
About Me
The testimonials down at the bottom of the page? Yeah, I paid 'em! ?-I like this. Clever.
Have you ever met someone, and knew almost INSTANTLY that their presence is what you have been missing? *sigh* It is a wonderful feeling, to know that this one person can be so many things to you. Friend, lover, confidante, shoulder to lean (or cry) on, partner....etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. *smiles* Yes, I have found that someone for me. This would mean that I am no longer looking, have found my fishy, and wish you the best of luck in finding yours!
Well, it does appear you are:
(a.) mesmerized
(b.) transfixed
(c.) in LOVE
(d.) addicted
(e.) infatuated
(f.) overwhelmed
(g.) hallucinating
(h.) enthralled
(i.) fascinated
….we will go with ( c.) in LOVE
…for the moment, at the very least.
That being said, why am I still here, you ask? The forums, of course! *g* I am an addict, I admit it. Seriously, go check 'em out! I am tellin' ya, you will never leave PoF if you do!
The predictably familiar “I am here for the Forums” standard disclaimer.
NOW, if you have read past the first few paragraphs, maybe you actually want to know a bit about me....that would be why all that writing is down there.....enjoy! *smiles* Oh, and just as a general disclaimer, everything mentioned here, I have found in HIM....hopefully he knows this already, if not...then I just told him!
This could use some clarification. I am not exactly sure what this part means
” everything mentioned here, I have found in HIM....hopefully he knows this already, if not...then I just told him”
I suppose it is some sort of code, and as long as you know what it means, then that is all that really matters.
I have a very dry sense of humor, and not a lot of people get it, so I am looking for someone with the same characteristic. I am a voracious reader, mysteries mostly, and NEVER romance. I am on an endless search for knowledge, anything new excites and tempts me. I will pretty much try anything once. Even the personals. *g*
This shows you are intelligent, inquisitive, and highly desirable.
I got very interested, hopeful and honestly…when I saw these words..
” anything new excites and tempts me.”
And I immediately thought…”she totally has tricked out her profile! She wants me! It’s a secret code!!! Just for me…it’s all coming together with enormous clarity!!”how do I work this? What possible temptation attempt options are available to me right now?”
Then… realizing I had taken things…out of context…sadly at first, then horrified..What was I thinking?? I was delusional…for that short duration of time I was completely nuts!
If it were possible to certify someone quickly…at that very moment, I was literally
Certifiable. She was after all, referring of course to knowledge. I will not read anything into that.
Oh, the cruel irony of it all
I am hoping to find someone intelligent enough to have a meaningful conversation, but silly enough to NOT when the mood calls for it. I am very much into having routine in my life. Although I can adapt to change, I prefer things to stay in my comfort zone when it comes to my every day life. On the flip side of that, I love anything that gets my adrenaline pumping. And I love ideas that come on impulse. Yes, upon getting to know me, you will find that I am consistently inconsistent. *s*
My cooked is goosed…I suppose I’ll just need to let it go.
This is very descriptive…(moving into profile reviewer mode) and pushing away the obvious “how did I ever let this lovely woman slip by …”
Yes. I would change nothing. You do express yourself well. Could you please describe what your adrenaline pumping feels like exactly? Amp it up a bit. This will reel the reader in…((OH AS IF))
May I suggest a few ideas for you act impulsively on?
I am very loyal, caring, giving,loving. With the right man to take care of, he will feel like he is the only one on the planet. Although I am never at a loss for words, I can listen as well. In a lot of ways, I am a throw-back to the wives of the 50's. Dinner on the table when you walk in the door, up with you every morning to make sure you get out the door with all you need for your day, loving like you would not believe, knowing that the man is the head of the household. (oh, and I only pop the 'occasional' Valium. hehe) Especially when he knows to listen and respect his partner. It makes excepting him in that capacity much easier. For the right man, I will never rebel, I will never defy (well, unless we are PLAYING of course). You will always know that you are number one in my life. Just do not take this to mean that I am a push-over or doormat, because trust me, I am NOT.
There was a run on sentence that I did not know what to do with. Also a grammar problem that was not a big deal at all…
“I am very loyal, caring, giving, loving.”
Really should be “I am very loyal, caring, giving, and loving.”
Oddly, I do feel like I am the only one on the planet. I’m leaving now to put on some Country music. And eat some Twinkies. Maybe leap off a tall building later if I feel up for it.
My ideal mate would be someone honest, true to themselves, someone who could make me laugh, no matter what the situation. Someone who is stable, in all senses of the word. *smile* Someone willing to take care of me, and be taken care of BY me. I guess that is a start. Not really sure I have a TYPE....just whoever tickles my fancy...sparks an interest.
This is the end of the line for me. I am actually feeling ok I have made it this far. The most exciting part of this entire exercise is looking squarely at the thing that turns me on the most…
crème la crème of the poor sentence structure examples in real time. I have found what countless other profile reviewers have missed! the solid Royal Flush of mistakes!
Ladies and Gentlemen: The Incomplete Sentence. Right here in black and white.
"Someone who is stable, in all senses of the word."
Can you say "Gotcha"?
Here is another thing. This person does not exist. I have read every single word of this…and this person is too good to be true. It’s a fact. Oh, yeah…sure…a flimsy all too often used cliché. Sure…not in this case, just read it for yourself. There is not a person this perfect.
And explain the photos? I’d say they were airbrushed photos of some ordinary girl from West Covina. When someone has an eyewitness account of this woman…send the News 7 Team. No, not Channel 4, send in The Channel 7 News Team. Don’t ask why ABC, please, go away…
First Date
What I want to FEEL on the first date...Knowing from that very first glance that you 'click'. Wanting to immediately grab his hand. Having perma-grin because it feels so right.
There is a run on incomplete sentence combo directly above me and all I can think of is am I up for a tall building today? Or will a pint of Ben and Jerry’s get me through just one more day…? | |
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| I'll review your profile and offer helpful suggestions
Posted: 10/23/2006 7:43:03 AM | Cybez,
It was my pleasure, I am glad you enjoyed my review!
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wow...that is the coolist cat I have ever seen!
What type of cat is that?
Amazingly beautiful.
Thanks for sharing the picture! | |
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