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| How do you love someone with a Disorder
Posted: 10/23/2006 10:15:13 PM | | very carefully... seriously. it takes ALOT of patience to be in a relationship (doesnt matter if its romantic / friend/ family whatever) with someone with a "disorder", and it also depends on the severity of it. it takes understanding and willingness to understand it... | |
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| How do you love someone with a Disorder
Posted: 10/23/2006 10:16:30 PM | | Like you love anyone else I guess. Love is love and it comes in many forums. If not they would of loaded them all up and shipped them to some far off island. | |
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| How do you love someone with a Disorder
Posted: 10/23/2006 10:17:44 PM | | if you truly love and want to be with them you will support them in their efforts to deal with their condition. There is a fine line between helping and being over enabling. In the end, as the old rule states, we can only help those who are helping themselves. Mental health issues, no doubt, are more challenging than physical ones. | |
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ya472
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Joined: 4/29/2006
Msg: 5 | |
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| How do you love someone with a Disorder
Posted: 10/23/2006 10:20:36 PM | As long as you educate yourself about your SO's disorder and feel you can deal with it.. a life long relationship can occur and have for many couples.
fyi: some famous people have ADD and lead successful lives.. ie: Ty Pennignton of Extreme Makeover/Trading Spaces fame | |
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| How do you love someone with a Disorder
Posted: 10/23/2006 10:33:25 PM | | now i know you are suppose to love everyone for who they are but it can be tough when you start loving some girl and she turns into cybil. I ve dated a few women that when i met them they were outstanding people but when i got more into them it became clear that nothing i did to help ever worked. | |
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| How do you love someone with a Disorder
Posted: 10/23/2006 10:34:48 PM | | You can't really lump all those things into one category. I'm dyslexic doesn't mean that I have a mental illness. Someone who is bi polar doesn't make them a bad person, just a person with a chemical disorder of the brain. I think if you're going to date someone with one of those "disorders" or any other it's in your best interest to get as much information as possible on their particular disorder. Be patient and understanding. | |
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| How do you love someone with a Disorder
Posted: 10/23/2006 10:36:12 PM | | Like sometimes i ll get upset over little things and i ll take it out on my girlfriend but not meaning to just happened to push the right buttons and while i am getting upset i think i just got myself into a bigger mess. and then i become upset for my getting upset. lol | |
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| How do you love someone with a Disorder
Posted: 10/23/2006 10:47:27 PM | | I have a disorder. Ehler Danlows Syndrome. Its a general Loosening of the Ligaments in your Joints resulting in less the ample coordination. It makes Handwriting and Printing a ***** for me. but all other aspects of life are mostly unafected. I type like a speed daemon and i play piano to beat the band. How would you love me? | |
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| How do you love someone with a Disorder
Posted: 10/23/2006 10:50:34 PM | A lot of men (and women!) are like that...you don't necessarily have to have a disorder to behave like that. If its a pattern it could be your disorder but you'll have to explain it to them..'sorry if i fly off the handle now and then, i don't mean to but I have....etc...' If of course your behaviour leads to any kind of violence or intimidation towards your partner i'd suggest you stop dating for the time being and get that under control. Maybe your meds need updating or some of anger managment is needed. The last thing a woman needs is an aggressive man pushing her around. It erodes her self esteem and causes a lot more pain than just the physical problems.
My advice is to be as open and honest about your add from the get go. Then its something you both can deal with together.
And if the situation is reversed its the same thing.
Loving someone with a disorder can be hard but i think people that have these disorders are more often than not hugely intelligent, deeply loving and deeply feeling. | |
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| How do you love someone with a Disorder
Posted: 10/23/2006 10:56:19 PM | There are a very large number of disorders. Some are far more severe than others. It takes patience, understanding, strength, commitment, education, and more, just as it would any relationship. I have a cousin who gave birth to a child with Down's Syndrom. She is an incredible little girl to be with. We don't love her any less than the rest of the kids, or any differently. A disorder is simply part of the person's natural make up, not something to shy away from. | |
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| How do you love someone with a Disorder
Posted: 10/23/2006 11:07:06 PM | Evil Blue Eyes,
I've lost a very special and dear lady (perhaps my soulmate, if I took more time to invest in the necesarry knowledge to not have lost her).
I'm medically diagnosed with ADD. No other way around it unfortunately to hide it or deny it. My attention span is short as well as my temper.
My lost love,,, had a bad case of Bi-polar and Narcolepsy mixed into the salad bowl of disorders. If only I took the time to study (which I have, but it was way too late) to understand her disorder.. Her mannerism, the timing, the reasons, her thoughts and her feelings. ,,,, I'd be in heaven today.
But alas, I lost her to my lack of acknowledgement. "YOU" have time to make the effort to educate yourself to everything that is applied to her behalf and make something beautiful with this unique situation that you have with her.
,,,,If the heart is strong and the mind is aware, you have paradise within your grasp.
Good luck "Evil Blue Eyes". | |
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| How do you love someone with a Disorder
Posted: 10/23/2006 11:08:54 PM | | It kind of depends on what you mean by "disorder." There's a world of difference between, say, bulimia, bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. All take love, patience and understanding, but not all are things that people can "live around." An addict might be willing to go into recovery. But a bipolar might not be able to. I've loved addicts, compulsive liars and general loonies in my life... still love 'em all to a certain degree... it just depends on to what extent you are willing to let someone else's issues run your life or control your emotions. | |
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| How do you love someone with a Disorder
Posted: 10/23/2006 11:11:57 PM | Sammy, thank you. I have no mental disorders (that I'm aware of, I'll have to ask one of my 6 other personalities..), but physically I'm always going to have one hell of a limp and not have much use of my right arm either. Am I any less of a person or a man ? Helllll..no !! Like my profile says, all the important parts work !
Should I be treated any differently ? Only if you're talking about the world record for the 100-yard dash...
I just wish more people in this supposedly enlightened day and age could get past their hangups......
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| How do you love someone with a Disorder
Posted: 10/23/2006 11:15:29 PM | | Sounds like my husband when he is working on something. All someone can do is let them throw their fit, and help them out until what they were working on is done. Then tell them what for and how stupid they were to act like that around you. Never. and I repeat never have words with someone in a car if they are like that. If they act like that, there is a time and a place to speak about it, and stress you point, and why they are hot isn't it. | |
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| How do you love someone with a Disorder
Posted: 10/23/2006 11:44:20 PM | | I have OCD, slight depression, and panic attacks (anxiety disorder). I take my medicines like I'm supposed to, so that's made a BIG difference. Alot of people won't admit to needing help or won't take their meds. I've had no problems in relationships, except when I haven't been treated with respect, or caring. I think anyone can have a loving relationship if they're getting or have gotten the help they need. I just wish some people would stop using whatever disorder they have as an excuse for acting like an ass. Seems like just about everyone out there is screwed up in one way or another, just depends on if they can meet someone who can put up with the problems. Nobody's perfect, look at Donald Trump, he may be rich and famous, but that HAIR. Dude, you're rich, get a good haircut! | |
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e-wok
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Joined: 9/25/2006
Msg: 21 | |
| How do you love someone with a Disorder
Posted: 10/23/2006 11:53:13 PM | Just ignore the label....besides, psychologists are adding new labels to people
every minute and they'll get around to each of us eventually. Their label
today is QUACKS - LOL
Many people can rub us the wrong way and others seem to make
a good fit for one reason or another; whether they have labels
or not. We all posses different levels of comfort.
I dated a girl who showed no symptoms of a disorder for many
months - then one day, scary things happend. I immediately
stopped dating her. Where's the emoticon for fear?? | |
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| How do you love someone with a Disorder
Posted: 10/24/2006 12:38:40 AM | "How do you love someone with a disorder?"
When I love someone,I love them wholeheartedly whether they have a disorder or not...so I suppose thats my answer...wholeheartedly Kat | |
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| How do you love someone with a Disorder
Posted: 10/24/2006 3:11:18 AM | | My two cents: it depends on what the disorder is, its severity and the impact it has on having a healthy relationship with them. I think we should have sympathy for people with severe mental or personality disorders, because only by the grace of God we all go... But I do think (like with anyone else in your life) you need to be able to draw a firm line if having a relationship with somebody starts to effect your own mental health. Speaking from personal experience, some people won't/can't change just because you can put a finger on what's causing the trouble and you need to know when you can't fix things anymore. | |
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