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 socksock
Joined: 11/19/2005
Msg: 1
Flaky men and women?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Men seem to get a bad reputation for this, but lately I've been meeting women who don't call when they say they will, or cancel plans at the last minute. One even cancelled four times in a row, and it was her idea to meet in the first place! I'm trying not to become bitter... maybe it's not just me. Is it just me or do other guys find this common?

Also, for the women out there, do you find guys do the same thing?

bummed out.
 aventurero
Joined: 4/17/2005
Msg: 2
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Flaky men and women?
Posted: 10/24/2006 2:39:37 PM
Oh, yes, it happens. Some people just don't have the bollucks to be honest so they make commitments they don't intend to keep. You hit it right - they're flakes. But do you really want a long term relationship with a flake?
 LL3
Joined: 9/10/2005
Msg: 3
Flaky men and women?
Posted: 10/24/2006 2:52:17 PM
Oh crap...I thought this was a dating someone with Shingles thread.....



As per the human element of flaky.....heaps more fish in the sea. Catch and release in that case for sure...
 Spork_
Joined: 3/27/2006
Msg: 4
Flaky men and women?
Posted: 10/24/2006 2:55:03 PM
Yup. Hit the nail on the head.
Seems to be a way of thinking that can be summed up as "I have no respect for you and i will do as i please without any regard to prior plans made". I talked to a female friend of mine about it and she said " yup girls often do that. most chicks are c*nts". I may not agree with the "most girls" part but theres a lot of them. The rule i am trying to stick by is that if she's disrespectful/dishonest/flaky the first time,shes history. Delete,block and move on. Of course sometimes things just come up and thats a different story, sh*t happens.
 bubblytoes
Joined: 9/25/2006
Msg: 5
Flaky men and women?
Posted: 10/24/2006 3:18:12 PM
that's just part of the dating site don't you know that already....LOL.

but yes you are right it's kinda silly to tell someone you are going to call or plan to meet and it never happens but unfortunately on these sites people can easily loose interest or something else better comes along and before you know it your lost in the shuffle of unused phone numbers and pages of neglected e-mails I think everyone tends to do it sometimes, I don't think it's a matter of being flakey but I think if a person is really serious about getting to know someone then they should focus on one person at a time instead of talking to a dozen all at once which confuses them then turns into competition which pretty much decreases your chances and that is one downfall of dating sites and "adventure addict"....have a little more respect for women or chicks as you might put it!!!!
 *handyman*
Joined: 10/6/2006
Msg: 6
Flaky men and women?
Posted: 10/24/2006 3:31:41 PM
I've never had a date cancel but some of them I wished they had.
 *tinydancer*
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 7
Flaky men and women?
Posted: 10/24/2006 3:43:52 PM
Too funny *handyman* ... 90% of my dates fall into that category.....

But back on topic ... it's the anomynity of the internet that brings the flakes out of the woodwork. You can be, do or say anything you want and no one holds you accountable. You're gonna have to look under a lot of rocks to find the non-flakes of the world.
 loneshoreman
Joined: 5/21/2006
Msg: 8
Flaky men and women?
Posted: 10/24/2006 3:51:18 PM
Just had it happen TODAY! She says we'll have to make it for another time. Can't say she's flakey tho, I do the same thing. Sometimes you're just not in the mood. Besides, it it gave me time to buy a new scope for my deer rifle and also to sight it in.
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 9
Flaky men and women?
Posted: 10/24/2006 4:14:54 PM
Awww shucks, flaky? I didn't know if it was men and women that are addicted to Frosted Flakes, or if their dandruff shampoo has gone bad

It's human nature baby, it will happen. If it is a repeat performance from the same person, you need to drop them like a hot potato. Sometimes accidents, work issues, personal issues do crop up and people can't call or show up when they are suppose to. However, if one continually doesn't meet the committment of calling/showing up, its time to move on.
 ya472
Joined: 4/29/2006
Msg: 10
Flaky men and women?
Posted: 10/24/2006 4:19:11 PM

She says we'll have to make it for another time. ... it it gave me time to buy a new scope for my deer rifle and also to sight it in



Now that the rifle is sighted in, guess you are in the mood for the date ??




Ya, had women stand me up, not just at the coffee shop, but even in email... "I haven't time to write now, but will write you in a couple of days.", and NEVER hear from them again. LOL


 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 11
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Flaky men and women?
Posted: 10/24/2006 4:26:17 PM
This thread is just one more reason to add to my "Why I don't want to meet/date" list. What is wrong with people? If I had any interest left in me at all, POF forums have convinced me otherwise. So many different people, yet all the same complaints/concerns/experiences and rarely are any of them positive. Sad, very sad.
 Niagaraboy
Joined: 10/6/2006
Msg: 12
Flaky men and women?
Posted: 10/24/2006 4:27:34 PM
I do find this all too common. You can't take it personally. A lot of people are online not as a step to dating but because they are afraid to meet people in person. This is a nice middle zone with no risk and a bit of flirtation. Good luck to you!
 swee10lo
Joined: 4/10/2006
Msg: 13
Flaky men and women?
Posted: 10/24/2006 4:37:02 PM
heck yeah! that's why i'm only here for the forums..what's the point of continiously setting myself up?!
 socksock
Joined: 11/19/2005
Msg: 14
Flaky men and women?
Posted: 10/24/2006 5:22:49 PM
autumnbliss: actually the two recent experiences were not from this site! people from pof have at least been good about showing up.
 socksock
Joined: 11/19/2005
Msg: 15
Flaky men and women?
Posted: 10/24/2006 5:25:55 PM
very green eyes:
you said

So many different people, yet all the same complaints/concerns/experiences and rarely are any of them positive.


Maybe the successful POF-ers don't feel the need to come back and relate success stories?
 Celestial_Spirit
Joined: 7/27/2006
Msg: 16
Flaky men and women?
Posted: 10/24/2006 5:32:06 PM
UGH.....this type thread has sooooo been done to death.
It happens all the time. I think it is just sad it happens at all.

Common people, get honest. If ya NOT interested in someone....POLITELY Say so. It's not hard. If you have NO intentions of calling....DON'T say you will. If you really DON'T want to meet the other person....DON'T make plans to meet them. It's that simple. It's just so sad so many people cannot be honest and then so sad as another poster said...
So many different people, yet all the same complaints/concerns/experiences and rarely are any of them positive.


hmmmm I have seen many success stories........sometimes though ya might find em on the "Dating" forums.
 Redheadgidget
Joined: 11/3/2005
Msg: 17
Flaky men and women?
Posted: 10/24/2006 7:36:19 PM
You're going to run into all kinds on the internet. Just keep making plans with different women. I've met/dated a couple of really super guys from the internet. One from right here at POF. We're still friends, just not compatible for the long term. I tend to be a tad independent - sometimes to a fault.

Anyway, back on topic.... there are many many many to weed thru. Just stay focused on what you are looking for and take all the cancellations with a grain of salt. It's them...not you... who is missing out on the possibility of a relationship.

Do NOT get discouraged.
 Ten32
Joined: 5/11/2006
Msg: 18
Flaky men and women?
Posted: 10/25/2006 3:45:44 AM
You bet! That's why my profile says "here for friends". If something more comes of it, so be it. Till then, I'm sure not holding my breath.
 JWA
Joined: 5/21/2005
Msg: 19
Flaky men and women?
Posted: 10/25/2006 4:05:13 AM
Good Golly is this thread one huge case of over reacting?? LOL C'mon people---get a grip!!

Like this:


This thread is just one more reason to add to my "Why I don't want to meet/date" list. What is wrong with people? If I had any interest left in me at all, POF forums have convinced me otherwise. So many different people, yet all the same complaints/concerns/experiences and rarely are any of them positive. Sad, very sad.


It seems to me some common sense might apply to this whole thing about "dating/first meets" or whatever you want to call them. IF a person exhibits some sort of flakey or disrespectful behavior from the very beginning they why, oh why think that will change? The post about being cancelled four times---WTH??? LOL Once is somewhat understandable---twice I'm thinking to myself there won't be a third time unless she puts some major effort into it. Honestly, it wouldn't get to the third time for me.

If the forums alone "make" you want to not date or at least seek someone that's one flimsy excuse to remain as you are. "Friends only" on the forums has become a joke of sorts---if that's the real desire why post photos on long winded profiles that suggest some interest in being available? Saying one thing but doing another especially with this online thing is funny to me----and is not the least bit logical from any viewpoint.

Men AND women have always exhibited this sort of behavior but since we can now share information the world over it only seems more prevelent. Those here on the POF Forums are a miniscule portion of the worlds population so a few storys about "love/dating gone wrong" shouldn't affect anyone's outlook on finding someone. If it does then you're either not strong enough for the "real world" and might be better off at home doing whatever you do there.
 mscjn
Joined: 7/30/2006
Msg: 20
Flaky men and women?
Posted: 10/25/2006 4:27:06 AM
Im trying not to be bitter about this as well, nice to know its not JUST me. Its easy to pass it off if i'm not that 'into' them but when its someone i like a lot i tend to make allowances at first,but the results turn out the same........
Slowly losing the will to live
 Hey Mikey! He likes it
Joined: 5/31/2006
Msg: 21
Flaky men and women?
Posted: 10/25/2006 6:12:51 AM
I've said this before. We arent real people to anyone we meet on these sites as we are just words on a screen. Therefore no commitment and no accountability
 ya472
Joined: 4/29/2006
Msg: 22
Flaky men and women?
Posted: 10/25/2006 10:42:12 AM
I know a couple of young women who come online, lead men toward sexual talk, then turn around and call them "sexist pigs".

then, Block/delete

They think it is funny. Flakey? YES.



 Skinnbones
Joined: 5/17/2004
Msg: 23
Flaky men and women?
Posted: 10/25/2006 10:56:57 AM
I dont mind "flakey" once or twice... shit happens! i certainly know I have had things come up! And to be quite honest in some cases do take priority over first dates etc. Those happen in my life sometimes! If someone says they will call at 8 and I dont get a call till the next day! No big deal to me I dont sit by the phone waiting for their call! I would be pissed if I actually went somewhere and someone did not show up! But I NEVER leave without confirmation. However if you say you will call at 8 and it has been a week, nothing to really get mad at it is after all they are strangers. But a definate red flag but not a reason to dicard someones entire personality over! Christ I would have no friends if i disowned every one who did not call or did not show up at a function!
 Juice227
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 24
Flaky men and women?
Posted: 10/25/2006 11:17:39 AM
Yes, it happens to women too.

Try not to get too concerned. If someone has so little regard for you and your time then you are better off not meeting them in the first place.
 kingbreeze
Joined: 9/1/2006
Msg: 25
Flaky men and women?
Posted: 10/25/2006 12:20:39 PM
it happens all the time and sometimes it is a character flaw but you have to remember that they are going through life as well and it may not be on purpose.
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