| Don't know what to do...???
Posted: 10/25/2006 5:57:38 PM | Kay, here's my problem...
There was a guy I'd liked for awhile (like, 2 years)....
Now, I'm not gonna get into all the fun, gory crap...but long story short is first of all....he's pretty much known since the beginning that I've liked him....and I'd slept with this guy a couple of times (before he ever told me that he didn't want a relationship with me) and about 5 days ago I found out that he slept with a friend of mine. About 5-6 times. Obviously, I'm hurt  ....and I realize that I'm more angry than I've any right to be....but I don't know whether to keep my distance and not talk to him for a few months or leave it be and pretend nothing's happened. I know it'll take some healing time for me to forgive either of them (him for sleeping with her, knowing how I felt about him...and for sleeping with me roughly around the same time...and her for being a friend of mine, sleeping with him while knowing how I felt...blah blah blah you get the picture)
What should I do? Anybody have ideas? Blargh....love sux sometimes.
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| Don't know what to do...???
Posted: 10/25/2006 6:27:01 PM | Ok... do you like him or love him? There's a huge difference as one would hurt your ego and the other would hurt your heart...
If it's like, then deal with it... not everyone is going to return interest and sorry to say, a guy will take sex where he can get it a lot of the time... until he matures that is...
*phew, close call on that generalization!*
If it's love, then distance yourself and get past the fact that the feelings aren't going to be reciprocated...
Either situation is bad to be in... but live and learn...  | |
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| Don't know what to do...???
Posted: 10/25/2006 6:46:11 PM | | just because you have slept with someone does not mean you have a relationship with them you liked him you have bedded him, im sorry dudrops ive had this problem you cannot say that he belongs to you!!! you cannot have ago at him or your mate take it as a fact finding mission you have learnt that he aint the one for you why lose afriend i would thank her if i was you . and next time you jump into bed with a man find out why you are bedding them but don"t take it for granted that he is yours. | |
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| Don't know what to do...???
Posted: 10/25/2006 6:53:53 PM | Yeah....the thing is, I realized that he wasn't mine to begin with. I wanted him, true....and all my friends knew (including the friend he was with), and were careful...but I'm just kind of hurt and angry cos...you know....if buddy didn't want to be with me, why did he lay with me in the first place? (This was all before I was told he didn't want a relationship with me)...And I'm hurt because my friend knew about my feelings for him...and yet she went ahead and did what she did.....5 or 6 times!!
I did thank her for telling me, actually, now that I think back... | |
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| Don't know what to do...???
Posted: 10/25/2006 6:55:04 PM | | why should you be mad at either of them as previous posts have said he wasnt yours to begin with. Sure it hurts but why give yourself away like that and let someone hurt you? | |
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| Don't know what to do...???
Posted: 10/25/2006 7:07:24 PM | dudrops the answer is sex,,, sex,,, sex,,, that's why ,,, you cannot brand a man with don"t touch he"s mine on his head ,,, . if you do go to bed with him again give it your best shot between the sheets then walk away ,,,,, let him think!!!:: | |
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| Don't know what to do...???
Posted: 10/25/2006 7:18:44 PM | First of all she is not a true friend if she did that to you. True friends would never backstab you like that.I have been there and my friends made a pact that we would never do to that to each other as we long as we lived.Him he is just out for one thing and you fell for it unfortunately he wants to be a player and he is treating you like a whor,which to me you are not I can tell.You have respect for yourself,this is not an easy decision to make but you need to tell him how you feel,because there is no love there at all and if you want true love respect yourself first and foremost. Please reply to my profile furmdog6 and tell me how you made out please I would like to know. Trust me sex can ruin a lot of friendships trust me.  | |
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| Don't know what to do...???
Posted: 10/25/2006 7:39:58 PM | | Sometimes, the best thing to do is nothing!!!!! Leave it alone, him alone, her alone! I've heard it and said it before, success is the best revenge!!!! The more you show them your feelings about it, the more power you will give away to set yourself up to be hurt again!!! Practice indifference towards the whole situation. Get perspective and live and learn as was said earlier!!! If you have to, go do something physical to get the anger out!!! | |
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| Don't know what to do...???
Posted: 10/25/2006 9:22:23 PM | He slept with you because he wanted to get laid, and he knew you would go for it since you have feelings for him (in other words, he took advantage of the fact that you like him).
I think it would be best if you took time to yourself/away from him. If there is no chance of you two ever being more than friends, than perhaps you should try to move on (as difficult as that is).
You deserve to be with someone who will care for you as much as you do for them. | |
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| Don't know what to do...???
Posted: 10/25/2006 9:30:55 PM | | i hope he wore protection because thats a bad thing to do to a lady i say you need to forgive and to tell him to take a hike mark | |
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| Don't know what to do...???
Posted: 10/25/2006 9:33:23 PM |
(in other words, he took advantage of the fact that you like him).
...................100% Correct.....................!!!!! | |
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| Don't know what to do...???
Posted: 10/26/2006 9:05:42 AM | I think its funny how some of these posts have said "He used you" "He took advantage of you" He was wrong and He was this that and the other thing. Why is woman dont have to take responsibility for who they screw and what happens after that screw as your arent together anyway right?
He only did what YOU allowed him to do. | |
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| Don't know what to do...???
Posted: 10/26/2006 9:12:17 AM | You DUMP THIS RAT NOW!!!! Not only the fact that STD's are an epidemic.... the guy is NOT worth your love. Move on, love and respect yourself and KNOW u are worth far more than the s**T. Also, a good book for all women out there to read is "He's Just Not That Into You", google it.
Good luck goddess. | |
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| Don't know what to do...???
Posted: 10/26/2006 9:33:28 AM | Go forth and don't look back!
Especially if Both of them knew of your feelings....
Do you really want friends like that? Are they really friends in the first place? | |
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| Don't know what to do...???
Posted: 10/27/2006 6:30:34 AM | | Sorry DuDrops, I have made the same mistake in my life, not once but twice, of course same person. I have had to suck it up because like any risk in life nothing is guaranteed. Most of the time we do something like "sleeping" with someone in hopes that they will want to be with you, but it is not "sex" that makes a relationship. A relatioship needs to be built on truth, trust, chemistry, many other qualities can be here, the list goes on, but sex is only a part of it, there have been relationships that have lasted with little sex, there are relationships that are plutonic. I felt that after I made this mistake, that all hope was lost for ever having a relationship with that person, I felt embarrassed at what I did, as it was out of character for me. I have managed to remain friends with that person, but I keep my distance. I have realized that sex can break up a good friendship faster than it can build a relationship. I would just try to recover from what you have done, concentrate on finding a true mate. I no longer believe that "friends make good lovers" like the song says, afterall it is just a song. Good luck to you in any future relationship. I am still fishing also, it is lonely at the pond but hang in there, you will get a bite soon and I wish you a "Big Fish". Take care. | |
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| Don't know what to do...???
Posted: 10/27/2006 6:41:43 AM | I am truly baffled that there are soooo many stupid people.
Why would you post something that makes you look like and idiot?
Your friend is not a friend and stabbed you in the back and no guy is worth that.
He is a loser as well.
Get some respect girl.
Your making a total ass of yourself.
Why in Gods name do so many people abuse themselves in this way.
Low self esteem.
I really feel sorry for all these people crying....Get over it.
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| Don't know what to do...???
Posted: 10/27/2006 2:07:45 PM | i doubt it has anything to do with anyone pissing in her cereal. Its about time some woman on here start taking responsibility for the way THEY let men treat them. Seems almost all threads under this section about how bad a woman as been hurt over this guy doing this and that to her. About her letting him do that.
Your in charge of the way you allow ppl to treat you. | |
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| Don't know what to do...???
Posted: 10/27/2006 2:28:41 PM | Thank you justme1202. I just get a little ticked at people that are so damn nieve.
Good god get a grip, and they actually want sympathy?
Your right that women should stand up and men as well.
Men using women and women using men happens daily.
Hold your head up high and keep walking to something better.
Good friends and family are a very good place to start.
Sorry for the yada, yada but ty for defending me.  | |
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