| | Confused and hurtPage 1 of 1 | | Okay I met a guy off of here last December. He told me from the beginning that he wasn't looking for anything serious. We had a really great connection and in Februrary he took a chance and started a serious relationship with me. Things were good but we had some trust issues and a lot of jealousy issues. Everything that he didn't want in a relationship we had. He just moved to a new town and wanted to make new friends. He went online to meet girls which he was completely honest about but it still really bugged me. Then I started to have problems at home and I became even more insecure. I felt left out of his life and he felt restricted. He ended up breaking up with me but oneday we still both want to be together. He says that he isn't ready for commitment and he doesn't want to feel restricted. I am having trouble thinking of him with other girls...and I feel like if he wanted to be with me then he wouldn't want to be with other girls. I don't know...I still feel like we will get back together but maybe I am just being dumb. | |
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| Confused and hurt
Posted: 10/26/2006 11:32:58 AM | | He told you from the beginning that he was'nt looking for anything serious so what did you expect? Maybe that's the reason you like him, because he is not serious and if he were you would run. | |
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rune3
| | Joined: 7/13/2006
Msg: 3 | |
| Confused and hurt
Posted: 10/26/2006 1:28:44 PM | Samibear  Ask yourself why you feel so insecure, do you really value who you are? If not, why not? If you do, why would you want someone who doesn't? Maybe the timing isn't rght, but maybe the person isn't right for you. Hope you feel better soon. | |
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| Confused and hurt
Posted: 10/26/2006 3:11:11 PM | | I do hope that you don't sit around waiting for him to decide whether or not he wants to be with you. Try to move on with your life, if it is meant to be it will be. | |
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Tarra
| | Joined: 7/22/2006
Msg: 5 | |
| Confused and hurt
Posted: 10/26/2006 4:37:52 PM | You are way too young and beautiful to wait on any man to make up his mind about you or the relationship. Turn the tables girl !!!!!! See how he feels when you start dating other men ;)
Wishing you all the best............stop crying right now, you here me? You deserve better.
Hugs,
Miss Tara | |
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| Confused and hurt
Posted: 10/26/2006 5:01:54 PM | | Yeah it bugs me too...when it feels like a relationship....it looks like a relationship..it sounds like a relationship........but MR BACHELOR about town feels the need to spread himself around..and have you too..my advice...don't be intimate..take time away from him...have him miss you so much that no one else will do...and if he wanders away...he was not the one...sorry but that's the way it is... | |
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| Confused and hurt
Posted: 10/26/2006 11:14:08 PM | Hey.
Well i was with a guy for 2 years and 5 days...
but then his dad died and he moved to sydney so his mum could be with her family...so we broke up. we are still like best friends and i love him to death! he left january this year and its been really tough on me cause ive only seen him once since he left...and i used to see him most days. it sucks...but yeah back to the point he has been seeing other girls down there and it really upsets me. like he should just be with me cause i only wanna be with him. I had a boyfriend not so long ago but that didnt work out cause i keep comparing people to him. Im trying really hard. I miss him loads but he seems over me but i cant do that. He always promised that he'd be there for me and that i was his favourite girl in the world. i still believe it but yeah i dont understand how someone can love someone but then just like date around. But anyways - im getting on with my life in the dating sense and moving on. It's going ok i suppose...but yeah i miss him lots! lol anyways thats enough of my rambling lol sorry! | |
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| Confused and hurt
Posted: 10/27/2006 12:06:32 AM | Samibear !!!!
I think you are in-line for continued hurt and disappointment, your "Expectations" are just to "Unrealistic" !!!! I'm not saying that you are "Dumb", but expecting to change someone, who does not want a "Commitment" is going to kill your "Self-Esteem", and it will leave you feeling like the "Blame" is all yours !!!! You are already feeling "Insecured", and "Left-Out" !!!!
Expecting that you can change any bad behaviors your partner has is unrealistic !!!! Expecting your partner to feel the same "Feelings" you have about him, is unrealistic !!!! When your expectations don’t come to pass, you place blame on the other for something that you should probably blame "Yourself" for !!!!
The only expectations you should have about a relationship is that you will be treated as well as you treat the other person and that you will gain "Friendship", "Love", "Respect" and "Support" from a "Healthy Relationship" !!!!
He is "Playing" you, by telling you that one-day he will be "Yours" !!!! He is taking you for a "Fool", with this "Restricted" ....crap !!!! He finds you "Easy", and knows that you will always be there like a "Sitting-Duck" !!!! All the time while he is out there collecting little presents that one day he will pass on to you........."LIKE-STD"..........if you let him !!!!
Face it..... you are wasting your time.....and you are going to pay the price with continued "Mental Abuse" !!!! Not to mention that "Guys"......like me will also pay the price, because if you don't "Move-On", you will loose all trust in ...."Men" !!!!! So, take it from a man, who is educated in this area..........."R-U-N" !!!!!!
Good Luck...................................................................Benz !!!! | |
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| Confused and hurt
Posted: 10/27/2006 4:12:28 AM | | Don't him have his cake and eat it too! Hey, if he wants to see other people, then you do the same...you are beautiful, and obviously very loyal and a decent person - this is what he is counting on, that you will stay put until he has sewn his oats....therefore, put down your foot, get yourself and date and have fun! Tell him that being intimate and sexual is only for committed relationships, so that has to end - effective immediately. Don't be available for his calls, and needs...He won't take you for granted for long if he sees you are not playing the game anymore...if he doesn't want you, I am sure there are 20 other men who would, and who would treat you a lot better! | |
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| Confused and hurt
Posted: 10/27/2006 4:30:47 AM | Move on honey. Denial is not just a river in Egypt. If you were "the one" he would not have been looking to meet other girls and he would not have broken up with you. Read his actions. It does not matter what is coming out of his mouth. Actions speak much louder than words. You were just "something to do until something better came along." Too bad you can't talk to his past relationships. I bet you would hear the same story. He is not going to get back with you. He is going to meet someone else and tell you "she is the one." More than likely she won't be the one either.
Good luck! There are more fish in the sea. No pun intended. | |
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| Confused and hurt
Posted: 10/27/2006 4:47:35 AM |
He told me from the beginning that he wasn't looking for anything serious. ... Everything that he didn't want in a relationship we had.
For someone studying psychology you do not appear to have much insight into human relationships. He didn't want anything serious and he got all the things he didn't want. Now he's gone and this surprises you?
You need to figure out why you have these issues of jealousy and insecurity, along with why you want someone that doesn't want you. Do you need to be in a relationship with someone badly enough to live like this? It would not be healthy for either of you and it would never last. Eventually you'd be right back where you began.
I suggest you take a step back and relax - go out, meet people, have fun - but hold off on getting too involved untill you sort these things out. Jealousy has been the downfall of many a couple and if they both aren't on the same page as to where things are going, someone is bound to get hurt. You have lots of time. Seek happiness from within and be comfortable with yourself. The right person, at the right time, with you in the right frame of mind will bring a healthier relationship with a much better chance of continued happiness for you both.
Good luck  | |
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| Confused and hurt
Posted: 10/27/2006 5:20:24 AM | Hello... first of al you are very young, and guys around your age do not seem to be
very mature.. If I were you, and was in college, I would get involved with
activities at college, meet guys there..
Nothing against POF, but it is too iffy....when I was in college.. I look back
and think of guys that I could have gotten to know better.. Also, as I said you are
only 21!!!!!! You have a lot of experiences ahead of you....after college, you will
get a job, and no doubt with your looks and nice personality, you will find someone!
Hang out with friends, and take it casually... You want to meet someone who
has the same interests and morals as you....and is devoted to u.. You will know it,
because when you find it you will have inner peace..
I would say goodbye to him,,, he sounds VERY IMMATURE.. Good Luck-- you will be fine! | |
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