| Ladies: Messages that Illicited Responses
Posted: 10/27/2006 1:38:47 PM | There is alot of pissing and moaning from guys on this site about how their messages get ignored.
Personally, I think it's a mysterious combination of pictures, how your profiles strike a person adn their general mood of the day, not to mention some luck. Let's face it, some guys will tend to get responses and some won't and it's no where near a science, or even rationality. It's not a puzzle to be solved, nor should it or can it be, despite what some guys seem to think. To think you can come up with a message that "works" as if this is the sort of thing you can find a formula to, is truly arrogant.
Who says love should be rational anyway?
Anyhow, I think it would be enlightening if the women of this site will post some of the messages they've recieved from guys that got them to respond (not a pity responses please, only post the FIRST one from people with whom you were eventually lead to date, or at least have significant banter with - and just the very FIRST message, even if it's just a happy face).
And folks, please don't theorize why a message worked or what trends seem to surface. Let's just look at then and take it as it is.
And ladies, please don't select messages that you think guys should see - let's just post whatever actually worked, whether they be breif, funny, or whatever. There will be no pics, no names, and please no hints as to whose profile it is.
-This should be fascinating as long as the theorizing is kept at a minimal (and people participate lol)
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| Ladies: Messages that Illicited Responses
Posted: 10/27/2006 1:49:34 PM | | That's a first a guy bashing his own gender, quit shocked I must admit and yes guys do do alot of "complaining" on here...."she didn't reply, where are her manners"...wa wa....Yes you are right is does have to do w/ their mood that day and also if tha woman likes his pic. and how many kids he has. | |
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| Ladies: Messages that Illicited Responses
Posted: 10/27/2006 5:20:36 PM | | I respond to men that take the time to write - to talk to me, tell me a bit about themselves, who actually show true interest...one liners, and guys that just write filth are deleted. | |
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| Ladies: Messages that Illicited Responses
Posted: 10/27/2006 5:35:50 PM | Sometmes it's really not about a guy's profile, in particular, it's how many e-mails you have received already that week. Sometimes we just can't keep up. I already have a number of people to chat with on MSN, and if I add anymore, I really won't be able to keep the info straight.
So, sometimes don't give up. We might not respond right away, but possibly will.
One thing a guy did was copied his entire profile, and sent it in an e-mail. That's just silly, cuz I can read that for myself.
Tell me why you're contacting me. I wanna know why you picked me out of all the others. is it just my picture, or did something I way catch your eye? Yes, it's nice to know that you like my picture, but sometimes I want to be picked for something other than my looks. | |
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| Ladies: Messages that Illicited Responses
Posted: 10/27/2006 8:13:23 PM | Anyone who offers up food gets my attention! Works everytime...
 reese cups, chocolate cake with butter pecan creme icing, fried onion straws
An email that states why he contacted me and a couple of his interests/thought processes he doesn't have already in his profile.
The following receives no response or a quick note...thanks, but, no thanks:
1. yer cute as a bug in tha rug (nothing more in the email)
2. wha's up darlin' wanna chat (nothing more in the email)
3. hey sugar, I could jest eat ya up (nothing more in the email)
4. awesome. cool. (nothing more in his email)
5. hi. here's my phone number (nothing more in the email) | |
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| Ladies: Messages that Illicited Responses
Posted: 10/27/2006 8:51:44 PM | | The men who get my attention are those who act like a gentlemen, approach me with respect yet at the same time can put a twist to it by showing his charm and sense of humor. A man who has actually looked past my picture, read my profile pretty much has gotten a feel for what he needs to do to intrigue me enough to want to know more about him. I've found that this usually shows itself in just the first couple of sentences. | |
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| Ladies: Messages that Illicited Responses
Posted: 10/27/2006 11:23:40 PM | haha - Thanks for the info - and it's interesting to see what you gals say. And I'm notorious for bashing guys (we're tough we can take a good beating) and if you've ever seen any toher of my posts you'd be quite surprised they haven't exiled me from the gender altogether.
Still, I'm hoping for some actual posts (no one has braved it yet!!).
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| Ladies: Messages that Illicited Responses
Posted: 10/27/2006 11:47:46 PM | The problem is this...
I'm fully capable of writing an intelligent, and thoughtful message. I suspect most people are. If a girl has a good profile I can ramble on and on about how much we have in common, how much fun I think we could have, etc. But in order to do this takes time. And it's frustrating when you take the time to be original and interesting, fire out ten emails to potential girls who you think might be a good fit, and then you receive 0 messages back.
I honestly think I'm a pretty decent looking guy with a fair amount to offer. And if I'm getting responses at the rate I am, I can just imagine how difficult it would be for someone who doesn't present himself well with a decent profile.
So then begins the cycle. The guy gives up on writing as much, and in return the women email him back less. Eventually communication is broken down to a series of grunts and hand motions. (Which don't translate well over email) | |
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AnnMF
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Joined: 3/31/2006
Msg: 10 | |
| Ladies: Messages that Illicited Responses
Posted: 10/28/2006 12:27:57 AM |
- let's just post whatever actually worked, whether they be breif, funny, or whatever. There will be no pics, no names, and please no hints as to whose profile it is. All right, here is one I received.
He quoted something I had in my profile (I have since taken it out). I have a friend who is single and at that time I didn't have an age limit specified. I figured since I got a lot of mail from much older men, one of them might be interested in my friend instead of me.
Anyway, this is what was sent to me:
>>If you're around 60ish, I have a lady friend who is single and in great shape, who is 59<<
Now, that's funny! You don't really get old cogers hitting on you here, do you? Yikes!
I read his profile, thought it was very funny. I wrote him back, but communication stopped after that. He was much too far away, and I don't think he was interested anyway. | |
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| Ladies: Messages that Illicited Responses
Posted: 10/28/2006 2:14:44 AM | | the ones i like generally have taken the 37 seconds it takes to read my profile, and then they ask me about it or they expand upon something in it. it shows me that they really did read it. or, they have been in the forums and have read something i said, then looked me up from there- another nice thing to have happen. the ones i don't like did'nt bother to read my profile because they are 22 yrs old, and wanna make me happy happy happy....... or just a name, phone # and 'call me'. or a pic that's just tacky all on its own (and i'm supposed to be impressed) and the msg says 'this is me. let's grab a beer.' - i don't really want a novel right off the bat. i will read your profile if the email is interesting. then i will ask you questions or comment on it in return. it's a dance. | |
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| Ladies: Messages that Illicited Responses
Posted: 10/28/2006 3:02:01 AM | I like your thread and the honest feed back too,
I think your take on love not being rational is acurate.
I've changed my profile several times and there's the new face that responds everytime.
I have learned that some profiles work better but often wonder if I wrote the "I'm so rich and busy doing fabulous things and would just like someone to know me for who I am" shlep and posted a models photo what would happen?
That's not who I'm looking for but I do think women want you to be special. I'm not special just a regular guy. Nothing says shallow like I have too many emails to respond too, oh I know it's got to be rough.
I always write a playful message that is insightful based on the profile I read and come up with common interests and then leave with a question in hopes of a response. I'll always put forth the effort because I do understand you get that many emails.
I get the most responses from the single lines not the carefully thought out emails.
Maybe my writing should improve or maybe it's something else?
Do women want a man that tries to gain their attention honestly or a casual "Hey I liked your profile and think we should get together"?
I think women get online to see who's interested in them and if they did their own searches and their own emails they would be in a better position to understand that question better and also do what they are supposed to be doing here in the first place, find somene.
I't's not easy to write or to answer emails so pick your complant or move on.
I've got a date and I'm looking forward to meeting her and she me, it does work.
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| Ladies: Messages that Illicited Responses
Posted: 10/28/2006 3:34:27 AM | Dear Sweetandreal,
My name is David from Cwmbran and am 57 but look 179 (hard life) full of fun and a compare in a c/w club every Thursday also (theres more) on hospital radio every Monday now the bad bit, in disabled down right side but can walk, had 20yrs in 2 comedy showbands and now on hospital radio, always look on the bright side of life, i will be waiting for your reply  | |
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| Ladies: Messages that Illicited Responses
Posted: 10/28/2006 6:53:06 AM | | E-mails I don't reply to, usually contain a phone number an e-mail address and a mobile number along with the message "Get in touch." Er ... no, why should I? It's like someone in a bar clicking their fingers and saying "Over here Babe." Goodbye mate!!! | |
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| Ladies: Messages that Illicited Responses
Posted: 10/28/2006 1:15:00 PM | A SPECIAL THANX TO AnnMF and to crazyhorse53, for posting actual responses!!!!!!
You guys are awesome!
Come on folks keep 'em comming. We don't judge the messages in this thread, so there's nothing to be shy about.
I'm glad you like the thread, honestnhopeful. Lots of us often wonder what would happen "if" our profiles sounded like this or looked like that. It seems that alot of that can be a waste of time, though everyone that wants to get some results out of this thing should put SOME time into it, but thinking in the hypothetical world of "what ifs" isn't going to help and just becomes a way of revelling in pangs of lack of success. -seems to be a trend among some people on here and I sympathize. | |
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| Ladies: Messages that Illicited Responses
Posted: 10/28/2006 3:38:24 PM | I've responded to nearly every email I've gotten, because I've read the forum posts about men who have been unhappy with the read/deleted.
the only ones i didn't respond to were the ones that were vulgar, And one who emailed me back after I left a polite, thanks, but no thanks.
The ones I responded to Favorably... Now.. That's a different story 
When they obviously take the time to read my profile, check my forum posts, and comment on something in them, I'm impressed.
Show me something of their intelligence or character, that also impresses me.
Be able to spell. Nothing worse than getting an email with a ton of spelling and grammatical errors. a few are ok.. but trying to decipher an email that is written in some kind of code is cause for deletion.
Something more than .. hey baby.. nice rack.. My token response to that is usually something anotamically impossible.  (If they could do that, they wouldn't need POF, right ?? ) | |
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| Ladies: Messages that Illicited Responses
Posted: 10/28/2006 7:34:38 PM | Well the first one that popped into my head was this strange email i got once from a guy that said something like "hi, nice profile, from reading it i can already tell something most people wouldn't" that was it. nothing more. so i had to message back of course to find out what it was, and he never did tell me. yeah that does not help you any does it? lets see.... the last two guys i actually met in person: one had a first message talking about how i'm a preschool teacher and in the school of ed, and he was also in the school of ed, so we talked about grade levels and stuff. you know it was just something he noticed we had in common, it wasn't just a standard greeting, i get a lot of those standard messages, where all it says is hi, how are you, i like your profile. well what did you like about it? i hate those.
the other one was something like (curse pof for deleting messages after 30 days) "you seem like the adventerous outdoors type, or at least all your pictures are outside, and you say you like fishing, me too, i also like camping and four wheeling.... how about you?" it was something like that, and i went hey, not only did he see my pictures, and notice not only how i look but the surroundings and tried to deduce things about me from it, which i think is kind of cool, and the other is he read my profile, and looked to see if we had anything in common. it was nice. i did not feel like i could be one of 50 girls getting an identical message, it was personalized. hope that helped! if not. well i got to go down memory lane. so all is not lost.  | |
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| Ladies: Messages that Illicited Responses
Posted: 10/28/2006 7:57:48 PM | Thanx, Moondancer!
Yeah it does suck that POF deletes after 30 days. But I suppose if people really wanted to, they could just save things. It's a neat little record of my monthly "hitlist" though.  | |
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| Ladies: Messages that Illicited Responses
Posted: 10/28/2006 8:02:03 PM | Greyymatter..
I would never paste someone's email to me on here!
even if you believe , no one would know who they were!
I would!!
I would never stoop so low...to do such a thing...
to divulge someone's personal life or feelings.....
and have a discussion of it on here...
Thats just wrong!!!!
And i believe there must be a rule...against doing such!!
Even if you did not view it from this side of the fence;
the outcome would still be the same!!
It is an invasion ...
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| Ladies: Messages that Illicited Responses
Posted: 10/28/2006 8:12:59 PM | I respond to every single first email, no matter what it's contents are or aren't. If someone sends me nastiness, I usually respond with a thank you for the sentiment. If it's sexually explicit, I have been known to send entire pages of rolling laughter smiley guys. Basically, I just respond accordingly. The issue for me is that I am not here looking to meet/date anyone ~ so when it's obvious that is the intent of someone, I do explain that I am not what they are looking for.  | |
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| Ladies: Messages that Illicited Responses
Posted: 10/28/2006 8:18:22 PM | ^^^^
I agree that some people aren't comfortable with it, so they shouldn't do it.
But I don't see any problem with it if the person posting it doesn't. They can always ask the sender, as well. I've also encouraged that we actually not discuss them.
I don't see it as an invasion if the sender and the receiver are both fine with it.
And besides, lots of people are just now posting the jist of what was said, which is cool too.
If an ex of mine asked if she could post an initial message sent to her, I'd be cool with it.
lol - just remove the name | |
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| Ladies: Messages that Illicited Responses
Posted: 10/28/2006 8:34:24 PM | I don't see it as an invasion if the sender and the receiver are both fine with it
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Maybe you would like to Post that sentence...since it was not in your
initial posting!!
This is nothing short of an intrusion..on someone else...as i have noticed
already in some posts'........ Immature gossip session at the least!
I hope sincerely that future posts' will get the permission of the senders'
Remember you make the bed you lie in!!!
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