| Rebound Person/Can it ever work???
Posted: 10/29/2006 12:26:53 AM | So you or he (she) just broke up, got divorced, got dumped. (Whatever the case may be) You are the next person in line on the dating trail. Does that mean it won't last? Are you "Just" the rebound person, or do you think you have a shot/chance of the relationship evolving into something more serious/substantial? I have seen it both ways with people. What do YOU think POFisher's?
I like the way u think OJB.................**************************** | |
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| Rebound Person/Can it ever work???
Posted: 10/29/2006 12:31:19 AM | Yet to be seen. My best friend was with a chick for 12 years and never married her. They broke up 6 months ago, and he is now getting married to a woman 10 years older who lives 4000k's away! This will be his 1st marriage, and his fiance has already spent 3 nights on his couch the last time she was over here, cause of his snoring....so i'm not so sure.....   | |
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| Rebound Person/Can it ever work???
Posted: 10/29/2006 12:37:56 AM | No one is necessarily a rebound only because she or he is the first person dated after a failed relationship.
Some people do not have rebound relationships. Some do. Labelling, however, comes easy after the fact. | |
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| Rebound Person/Can it ever work???
Posted: 10/29/2006 12:41:28 AM | | It doesn't work...at least for me. Especially if you were the 'dumpee' in the last relationship, you need some time to rebalance yourself and get that person out of your mind and heart (at least out of your heart). If you don't, the rebound girl will just be the person who fills the void. But once the previous one is finally out of your heart, the void is gone and chances are you will realizse that the new one is not the one you really want. | |
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| Rebound Person/Can it ever work???
Posted: 10/29/2006 12:59:08 AM | I agree with OJ Blues.......if you take the time to "get over" your last
relationship, the next one won't be a "rebound".......and in that case
can be just as likely or not.....to work out as any other relationship. | |
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| Rebound Person/Can it ever work???
Posted: 10/29/2006 1:06:23 AM |
No one is necessarily a rebound only because she or he is the first person dated after a failed relationship.
True. But, after a long-term failed relationship comes a period of adjustment and adaptation; most relationships fail because one evolves and outgrows the other. The first relationship after a divorce, for example, is generally doomed to failure. One person is growing, while the other is plateauing.
Personally, my brief-but-all-too-hideous experience with this tells me to run far, far away from it. | |
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| Rebound Person/Can it ever work???
Posted: 10/29/2006 1:30:51 AM | This is always a hard call...Really, really depends on the people involved
The term rebound generally implies that the person who has just broken up with someone, regardless of being dumper or dumpee, is still dealing with any negative emotions of that breakup
if I had to give a summation: I say it depends entirely the level of those emotions - how much baggage, memories and bitterness [if any] that first person takes with them to the next person. Now they can still be sad, and going through the mourning process, but if they are over it otherwise...theres a good chance. The only problem is they may be a little distracted with the old r/ship to give the new person the attention they probably should. that can make the next person feel neglected
It can work, if the rebound-er is really conscious of what they are going through and determind to get past it - ie they cut off contact with the ex, dont pull out photos or re-tell stories over and over again, compare you [ which is HUGE red flag get out straight away] or keep coming up with excuses to see/communicate with the ex - [unless there are children involved and even that has to be negotiated out and you need to be prepared to deal with that if you dating someone newly split up in that kind of situation. But this is hard to generalise as well]
I mean it must works in some cases right? How often have you broken up with someone only to see them a month later with someone new all in love and smooch-heaven and they end up living happily ever after .... the nerve!!!  | |
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| Rebound Person/Can it ever work???
Posted: 10/29/2006 2:47:36 AM | | Rebound person is an easy term to peg on someone after the relationship has failed; when it works out, no one calls them the rebound person. I think the rebound effect is most pronounced when a person simply doesn't want to be alone, and quickly starts dating someone whom they would not normally go out with for that reason, whether they realise it or not. When it doesn't work out, as oft it won't, it's quickly branded a rebound relationship. Sure it can work out, if both parties are truly compatible. Unless one of them is stupid enough to believe that 'it's only a rebound relationship and as such, can never work out'. | |
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