| Is a guy being pushy by wanting ur mob number after first chat on dating site?
Posted: 10/30/2006 12:05:26 PM | | Why is that alot of men i have come across through chatting on dating sites always want my mob number? I find it very off putting almost desperate!! We exchange a few sentences...he hardly asks me anything about my personality then wants my number.Gave in the other nite and gave it to him.He constantly txts asking when would be a good time to meet.I reply by saying that would like to chat a bit more to get to know him. Anyway didnt want to speak to him on the phone (i would of eventually) but said he coould txt me.His reply last nite was "this is a bloody waste of time,bye!" | |
|
| Is a guy being pushy by wanting ur mob number after first chat on dating site?
Posted: 10/30/2006 12:43:48 PM | Plain and simple...
Ok there is nothing wrong with numbers...or giving numbers, but the only consequence you have is what type of person you are giving it to...
I think maybe if anything before giving a number... maybe the first time you meet the person, then maybe ask if they have an e-mail or get on the net. If they do, then great... best way to talk. Safe secure and privately without having to interact with the person or look for trouble.
If they don't have that option... Than chat for a bit on seen... get to know them and see what they are about... Watch for leads... If they beat around the bush or appear desperate, then maybe that is a "Red Flag"... If they seem casual and understanding and not so pushy... Then instead... maybe you should be the one to ask them for your number.
If you call them block your number... Or if that is not possible, then get a calling card and call them on the calling card as it appears as a different number. Or if that is not possible.. then go to a nearby payphone or something. Just keep yourself concealed for your number and or physical address until you truly feel comfortable and trusting of the person and are for sure they are not out for one thing.
Obviously your experience as desperate as the guy was/is... he wanted one thing most likely. SEX... Otherwise he would have realized to back off a bit... If he was not aware of what he was doing, then that could have been a lack of communication for the most part on your part. If you felt uncomfortable... then you should have expressed yourself by being straight forward or blunt with him. Say, "Not trying to be rude here, but I feel you are being a little too much of a hurry and pushy. Can you please back off just a little bit and not smother or rush things."
If he is understanding, then he will respect that and work with you... But, if he doesn't then he will continue and then that is the time you need to say, "Hey, this isn't working out here. I feel too pressured and I explained that to you. Unfortunately I don't think things will work out and I would appreciate it if you would not contact me any more and lets go our seperate ways."
If he doesn't listen to that, then warn him once more... and tell him you will call the police if he continues to harass you...
You don't need to do anything you don't want to do and definitely don't need to take being harassed or having to feel uneasy or scared for the most part.
Just stay focused, be safe, and do whats right.... but make sure you are not misleading about anything and be blunt or straight forward if need be.
I hope that helps ya out...
Take care, good luck, and god bless. | |
|
| Is a guy being pushy by wanting ur mob number after first chat on dating site?
Posted: 10/30/2006 12:49:05 PM | If a guy asks for your number, without having a conversation first, then yeah, that's weird, and don't give into it.
Some people have their own theories on what the best way to go about doing things is. Some folks meet first, THEN give their number... and some people talk on the phone, THEN meet.
I don't think there's anything wrong with after a few descriptive emails, having an exchange of phone numbers... or even quick little emails and a 20 minute IM-chat. I'm not pushy for getting a phone number, but I don't mind if it happens soon. You'll get to know them better, if they're not much of a typer.
Just steer clear of guys wanting a phone number right after a few sentences! | |
|
| Is a guy being pushy by wanting ur mob number after first chat on dating site?
Posted: 10/30/2006 1:04:25 PM | I don't think I agree. I type really well, but I simply cannot get a feel for someone over the internet. I usually ask for an MSN address quite quickly, so at least you get a real-time conversation going. Then I ask for the phone number as soon as I feel the woman would be comfortable. I don't think I've ever been denied.
But with that said, my ideal situation would be to get the phone number immediately and communicate via that route instead. You're already interested, or you would not have been in contact already. Only then do you truly start to get a feeling for someone's personality. You can email a multitude of times, or have an hour-long MSN chat, but you get more feel for their personality in 5 minutes of phone conversation.
I think women should hesitate to give out their phone number, simply for security reasons. But they can block their phone number, and call the guy instead themselves. That way, if he turns out to be a stalker weirdo, she isn't providing the opportunity for him to call her repeatedly. Or, worse yet, use her phone number to get her address.... | |
|
| |
| Is a guy being pushy by wanting ur mob number after first chat on dating site?
Posted: 10/30/2006 10:00:03 PM | His reply last nite was "this is a bloody waste of time,bye!"
He said it before you did. Don't beat yourself up, you would be saying it yourself pretty soon anyways.
There's too many weirdos on the net for you to feel safe simply giving your number to just anybody. Like you said, anyone that pushy is desperate, and totally out of touch with net dating etiquette. | |
|
e-wok
|
Joined: 9/25/2006
Msg: 7 | |
| Is a guy being pushy by wanting ur mob number after first chat on dating site?
Posted: 10/30/2006 10:21:23 PM | You have to realize that the prize you're after is buried in the heap of
perverts and psychopaths. Once you train yourself to sift
through that garbage, it'll come to you.
Decent guys don't talk like "this is a bloody waste of time, bye"
Never give out your number until much much later....that is
when you feel completely comfortable with that person and
confidence and trust is established. The psycho's, like your
'bloody' friend will often show their true colours quickly. Time
is on your side. | |
|
s286
|
Joined: 10/15/2006
Msg: 8 | |
| Is a guy being pushy by wanting ur mob number after first chat on dating site?
Posted: 10/30/2006 10:46:47 PM | give the guy a break!!!!!!
maybe he has been messed around in the past by women that don't reply or stop replying without any explanation (yeah I'm speaking from experience!)
after a while of this type of frustration a man can start to take a more direct approach but it may come across a being too forward or pushy
I don't think the man in question was a pervert or a psycho........but just feeling rejected! | |
|
| |
| Is a guy being pushy by wanting ur mob number after first chat on dating site?
Posted: 10/31/2006 2:00:10 AM | LOL yes, asking for your number before you get to know eachother IS pushy. but there is no time limit, it's all about how much you know eachother.. Think of it this way, if you don't know him enough, don't give it to him. And if he doesn't know you enough, he wont give it to you.. it's not about time.
however, I used to be able to get any girls number on the first chat :P but i actually practised and practised until i could do it.. it was pretty sneaky.. and I didn't use bribery! | |
|
| Is a guy being pushy by wanting ur mob number after first chat on dating site?
Posted: 10/31/2006 8:31:55 AM | Think of it this way:
Before internet dating your first exchange would have been at say, the grocery market, a bar, a library. You would not have chatted for very long (in most cases) and your phone numbers would likely have been exchanged at that time. How is this any different?
Another perspective is as follows:
Some people accept that text chat sorely lacks any sense of actual connection with a person. There is no tone or inflexion over "vanilla text". I myself prefer voice chat over text chat any day of the week - even very early on in "first contacts".
That being said, no I do not see it as pushy but that is not important - how do _you_ see it? Do _you_ feel it is pushy? | |
|
e-wok
|
Joined: 9/25/2006
Msg: 12 | |
| Is a guy being pushy by wanting ur mob number after first chat on dating site?
Posted: 10/31/2006 8:46:39 AM | Remember what happened at millionaire.com...those women gave the guy
their phone number and allowed that snake into their homes where
he raped them? He did it multiple times. Now, ordinarily, women don't
give their numbers to strangers like him, the internet & chat
is a probationary period and it's a PROVING GROUND. You ain't gonna get
off probation until you can prove to them you're more about
exposing your****on the web cam and can talk about things beyond
the topic of sex. PROVE yourself!
Do _you_ feel it is pushy?
Uhhh....yeah!! | |
|
| Is a guy being pushy by wanting ur mob number after first chat on dating site?
Posted: 10/31/2006 10:17:05 AM | ewok123,
Remember what happened at millionaire.com...those women gave the guy
their phone number and allowed that snake into their homes where
he raped them? He did it multiple times.
First off, giving a cell #, a guy or girl can't really track where you live. Secondly, those horror stories can be found when women met guys from the bars and letting them into their homes, just as letting a guy off the net into their homes.
It's poor judgement. I guess too many people think they have a good sense of judgement, and a few women out there need to be a bit more humble and realize that their "female intuition" isn't really anything special (otherwise your fears wouldnt be an issue).
However, calling a guy *67'ing it on the first call (no caller id), after a couple emails is just fine. You'll solidify their personality, and reduce the chances that he's a stalker down to nill, if you're not a niave person -- AND you haven't yet given him your number.
Point is, it "feels" scary to some women who watch too many episodes of Dateline NBC. But with common sense, you can be able to carry on a good conversation and even meet someone on a Sunday afternoon in public, without any real threat of safety at all. Talking to a guy for weeks via email and the occasional IM isn't going to make you more safe, than a couple emails and an IM session getting a # to talk and get a much better feel. | |
|
| Is a guy being pushy by wanting ur mob number after first chat on dating site?
Posted: 10/31/2006 3:03:25 PM | give the guy a break!!!!!!
maybe he has been messed around in the past by women that don't reply or stop replying without any explanation (yeah I'm speaking from experience!)
after a while of this type of frustration a man can start to take a more direct approach but it may come across a being too forward or pushy
I don't think the man in question was a pervert or a psycho........but just feeling rejected!
He is being too pushy
A guy should never ask for a phone number or email address in the first contact with a women.
Women need to be casefull for their own safety since they plenty of nuts and wierdos out there.
Only when the women fells comformable to give her cel number or email address should she,
Why the rest to talk on phone or meet in person.
Chat a while online before a phone call. | |
|
| Is a guy being pushy by wanting ur mob number after first chat on dating site?
Posted: 10/31/2006 7:11:59 PM | Now I'm pretty green to the dating side of things when it comes to the net, but as far as getting to know people online I've been around for ages. One thing I've learned is that conversing online (even IM) is no where near real time. You don't have all the signals you use face to face to size up a person (pheromones, pupil dilation in reaction to questions and answers, other involuntary relexes that our subconsious can pick up). As such, you have to take it slower otherwise you're taking a huge gamble and it you're into lottery dating, why not just pull a name from a hat?
The point is use this medium to its fullest and respect its limitations. Someone who asks for your number without getting to actually know you first isn't doing that, and as such doesn't deserve your attention.
Mobile numbers and email addresses shouldn't come out until you both agree the time is right. The other person is free to ask, but you're just as free to say 'Not yet'. | |
|
| |
| Is a guy being pushy by wanting ur mob number after first chat on dating site?
Posted: 11/1/2006 3:02:13 AM | Just steer clear of guys wanting a phone number right after a few sentences!
What kind of silly advice is this? If she wants to communicate how else are you going to do it if not on the phone! You can email or send letters or try carrier pidgeon or smoke signals if you like but this is 2006 and in this day and age we use phones to communicate with one another.
You can eternally play email tag with someone and recieve their responses 1 week later IF they have time to post in their busy schedule by going online but in the year 2006 just about everyone owns a cell phone. Heck, I know of homeless guy with no place to live who uses a cell phone in my city lol
In the span of 1 month you may be capable of emailing someone who is busy about 3-4 decent paragraphs if that. Who has the time to wait 1 month to see if there is something there when a quick 30 minute convo will tell you volumes. Why waste your time like that, prolonging it and dragging it out.
Just exchange numbers and if he's an annoying jerk then use call blocking. C'mon ppl technology is there to use not be afraid of.
You can live in a virtual world of online tag-your-it until your blue in the face but at some point if you want to accomplish anything you have to talk on the phone at length.
A guy should never ask for a phone number or email address in the first contact with a women.
Women need to be casefull for their own safety since they plenty of nuts and wierdos out there.
Only when the women fells comformable to give her cel number or email address should she,
Holy crap! What is this? What's with all these shouldn'ts and can'ts. Are modern women some sort of delicate and tender flower that should not even be looked at let alone made contact with until its of their own choosing, when its appropraite for them, when its convenient for their schedule, convenient for their choosing, a time, based on a certain alignment of the universe, moon in perfect syncronicity? Has this guy lost his rocker or something? Listen, stop giving out advice like this, its dumb.
Women are very capable of knowing when its not safe or if the guy is a weirdo but I can guarantee you won't get that kind of information from just emails unless they are very blatantly rude.
This overwhelming media-fueled fear that men have for women giving out their number is insane. Women are smart and can understand when its bad and the last thing guys need to do is fuel this paranoia by promoting the "hey ladies dont give your number to guys you just met" fear. Let a woman decide for herself when its safe. Most guys are just average people trying to get by and are just looking for an outlet to communicate across and perpetuating unnecessary fear in women to not give out her number when its by far just about the only way to initially COMMUNICATE effectively, we as a society have.
At least a million phone calls get placed between single men and women in this country and are very rewarding to both and you read about one nutjob in the paper about how he hurts a girl and all of a sudden 90% of the men who use phone are evil and need to be stayed clear of. Stop letting the media dictate your life by perpetuating fear. Fear is that they sell and its completely disproportionate to the reality. Reality is rather mundane and they can't sell newspapers or make you watch the TV by selling mundane now can they?
I get a lot of phone numbers and most I throw out after one phone call cause of different valid reasons. But thats because the girl does not fit MY criteria for what I'm looking for. She isn't what is appropriate for me. | |
|
| Is a guy being pushy by wanting ur mob number after first chat on dating site?
Posted: 11/1/2006 9:17:57 AM | Seriously people, there are a lot more weirdos in computer-land than we would like to admit. There is absolutely NOTHING stopping us from misrepresenting ourselves. You can lie about your age, your sex, your income, your body type, your job, etc. It totally sucks for those of us who are honest, but some people just get kicks out of manipulating others. So I don't blame women for being a little cautious with their personal information.
Who wants some 45 year old perv calling at all hours of the day? Even so, there are phone stalkers... even if they don't know what you look like or where you live, they can call you plenty of times, and use *67 or pay phones... you'd have to change your number.
Further, there is a huge difference between meeting someone at a grocery store and meeting online. Online, you can spend hours perfecting exactly what you want to say in an e-mail. Even chatting, you have some time frame to think about the perfect response in a conversation. In person, there are many physical cues to work with, and there is no time to come up with the perfect response. Watch the movie Groundhog Day, how Bill Murray has to try again to give the perfect answer - we don't get those second tries in life. | |
|
| Is a guy being pushy by wanting ur mob number after first chat on dating site?
Posted: 11/5/2006 1:41:16 PM |
Just steer clear of guys wanting a phone number right after a few sentences!
What kind of silly advice is this? If she wants to communicate how else are you going to do it if not on the phone! You can email or send letters or try carrier pidgeon or smoke signals if you like but this is 2006 and in this day and age we use phones to communicate with one another.
Most women do not want to give a phone number to a stranger and why sould they.
There are many profiles that do not match the person.
On yahoo messager you can even talk to each other and also see each on webcams.
You do NOT need to give each other you phone number until you are both readly to exchange phone numbers.
This is much safer for women than giving out your phono number.
Chatting online for a while allows women to wead out the men they do not want to go to next level which is talking on the phone. | |
|
| Is a guy being pushy by wanting ur mob number after first chat on dating site?
Posted: 11/5/2006 2:03:37 PM |
In the span of 1 month you may be capable of emailing someone who is busy about 3-4 decent paragraphs if that. Who has the time to wait 1 month to see if there is something there when a quick 30 minute convo will tell you volumes. Why waste your time like that, prolonging it and dragging it out.
Just exchange numbers and if he's an annoying jerk then use call blocking. C'mon ppl technology is there to use not be afraid of.
You can live in a virtual world of online tag-your-it until your blue in the face but at some point if you want to accomplish anything you have to talk on the phone at length.
over a 2 week period i chatted about 20 hours with a women then she wanted to give me her cel number. Talked about 10 hours on the phone the following week. So in less than 1 month she was ready for us to meet in person.
One phone call can not tell you much. | |
|
| Is a guy being pushy by wanting ur mob number after first chat on dating site?
Posted: 1/8/2007 4:45:51 AM | Firstly I feel that you have to be ready for dating to give out your mobile number .Some on the dating sites aren't ready for dating ..Ive gone through phases when I 'm not ready and won't ask or give out my number .
When some one grabs your attention and you feel ready ,as taking a number should lead to a date .Its a part commitment on both sides .Ive had numbers just mailed to me after chatting for a while on the net. Its a about trust ,you can get a feeling about someones personality from the written word .
I'm a face to face person and the net sometimes becomes long winded that its frustrating .
Ive heard some horror stories from some ,which includes stalkers,physical threats ,and other things .
I do agree with not giving out your number straight away if you are a female .Wait a while and see how it goes . Msn is great for real time chat as already mentioned .
Be causcious but not to the extent that you miss out on a guy that has potential .The only way you'll find that out is to go out for an informal drink .
Don't forget that thats what you do in real time dating .You meet ,have a chat and take it from there .
Women still have the right to say no ,guys do the chasing .I'm a bit of a traditionalist on that one .
Cheers
Paul | |
|
| Is a guy being pushy by wanting ur mob number after first chat on dating site?
Posted: 1/8/2007 2:25:22 PM | What ever happened to asking for a number SO THAT you can get to know someone? Profiles anymore just seem so processed. I was talking a girl friend of mine about some guy that she has a crush on that she met via AIM. I told her that "any random @sshole can be Rico Suave on the internet." Look at it this way:
Girl: "So what made you want to talk to me?"
Guy: "I saw that you had huge tit......."
*thinks for a second*....*deletes response*
"I saw that you liked the outdoors and long walks." | |
|
| |
Home
login 
