| | What do you do?Page 1 of 4 (1, 2, 3, 4) | | Here is my scenario. Just got out of a serious relationship a couple of months ago. Went out wiht many woman since but just haven't connected, sex was good, conversation sucked. Then went out an met somone at a bar and went back to her place and had a one night stand. The sex was incredible, but the laughter was even better. Stayed the ngiht and the next day even took her out on the boardwalk and then dinner. She wanted me to go out with her friends that night, but I declined and went home. During the day really had a good time, adn she has had many people in the past and so have I. Deep down really tradtional though, even though I did have this one night stand, but feel like I may like her. She gave me her number and told me to call her, only thing is how can this go further if a one night stand. I know I sound hypocritical right now but normally wouldn't bother with somoen like this. But to be honest can get her out of my head because how open the conversation flowed and the laughter involved. What would you do - call her? Or is there no point because a girl like this will only hurt you in the end. The funny thing is I have had one noght stand's before, but for some reasons this has still made me think days after. Please give advice both men and women? | |
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| What do you do?
Posted: 10/30/2006 6:22:25 PM | Just go in, do it, get out and never look back.  | |
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| What do you do?
Posted: 10/30/2006 6:24:47 PM | | So don't bother wiht her, just forget about it and move on. Been 3 days shoudl I have called at least to say hi or just forget. | |
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Sigi
| | Joined: 5/26/2005
Msg: 4 | |
| What do you do?
Posted: 10/30/2006 6:25:14 PM | a girl like this What do you mean?
So far I read...
The sex was incredible, but the laughter was even better. During the day really had a good time, adn she has had many people in the past and so have I. Feel like I may like her. But to be honest can get her out of my head because how open the conversation flowed and the laughter involved.
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| What do you do?
Posted: 10/30/2006 6:26:01 PM | | thats terrible advice....people cant help the way they feel....and whats the point of him just walking away if he thinks there might be something there.....i say go for it..right now you have nothing....no girl and no way of getting her out of your head....at least if you try and call her you will know for sure.....a lifetime of no is better than a life time looking back on what if......take chances | |
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| What do you do?
Posted: 10/30/2006 6:30:01 PM | | Problem was I was (I know a male admitting this) and idiot. She asked me ot go out on Tuesday Halloween, I declined, becasue felt like just a one night stand. But past few days I just keeps thinking to myself how great concversation was and the laughter. To the point that her roomates came up to her in the morning and said you kept us up all night laughing. Her roomate told her I have never heard you laugh so much. Plus the sex was great, adn she told me that she didn't want me to go. See some guys are honest some times, the only problem with this is if she did this with me she could do this with anyone. | |
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| What do you do?
Posted: 10/30/2006 6:32:13 PM | | your right she could have sex with anyone but who is to say that she connects like she did with you....maybe she is at home thinking about how great it feels to have someone to laugh with....you can sit here asking people who have no idea what she thinks or you can ask her.....you might be pleasently surprised.....what if this is your chance? | |
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| What do you do?
Posted: 10/30/2006 6:34:13 PM | | I really apprciate the advise, and your right. She is at the Leafs game, and damn jealous. I guess tomorrow will call and see what happens. Sound like such an amateur but normally don't give a crap, but just intriqued. | |
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| What do you do?
Posted: 10/30/2006 7:25:26 PM | | Stop thinking about it and call her! If you had such a good time, go for it. She obviously wants to see you again, and NEWSFLASH... its kinda obvious you want to see her too! | |
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| What do you do?
Posted: 10/30/2006 7:32:50 PM |
the only problem with this is if she did this with me she could do this with anyone
I think it takes 2 to tango so if YOU did this with HER...YOU could do this with anyone.... double standard? If she's willing to take the chance, why can't you? | |
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| What do you do?
Posted: 10/30/2006 7:40:48 PM | The only shot you have is to call her again and set up a dinner date or something. Tell her what's on your mind, but be sure to clear up your questions from the get go. Ask her why she thinks the one night stand happened. Ask her if she's had many of them. Ask her if she thinks there's something more to it all than just the one nighter.
You obviously feel a connection. One night stands are often disasters because of this sort of thing. usually, one person isn't feeling, nor wants to feel a connection and had the one night stand because it was easy and satisfying.
You'll only know by checking it out. I know I would have reservations about what could happen in the future if someone else "exciting" came along. | |
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| What do you do?
Posted: 10/30/2006 7:45:47 PM | | Why has this happened to you before. What was the outcome. As for all the girls in the forum, if you have a one night stand does it mean anything that you want the guy to stay, because personally just want to get the hell out of there (just being honest). | |
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| What do you do?
Posted: 10/30/2006 7:53:09 PM | I've had two first nighters. The first was a one night stand. It freaked me out and I left and never spoke to her again. The second, I tried to make something of it and it didn't work out. There were other reasons it didn't work out, but I can't say that I was all too comfortable knowing that it only takes one good night to get her in bed.
Yeah, it's easy and sometimes we guys think that it should come that way, but when we use the proper head for thinking, we know otherwise. | |
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| What do you do?
Posted: 10/30/2006 7:57:45 PM | | Thanks for the advice. Guess was thinking wrong, see waht happens when you actually start to take an interest. Don't mean to sound sappy, just past 4 years haven't laughed as much. Had the perfect girl, but deep down just wasn't happy, hey at least I know potential out there. | |
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| What do you do?
Posted: 10/30/2006 7:58:40 PM |
but I can't say that I was all too comfortable knowing that it only takes one good night to get her in bed.
Oh Dime, I'm just stunned! It only took one night to get you into bed, too. Yanno?
OP: Why does the fact that you slept with her on the first night matter so much to you? Is it because you put the cart before the horse...in that you don't know what to do next? If so, it's simple. Keep talking, keep laughing, stop thinking and trying to predict or control "what should be", and just let it be.:) Enjoy it! | |
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| What do you do?
Posted: 10/30/2006 8:02:02 PM | | Funny girl it's funny because I guess some of us guys are hypocrits and me being one. First all you think when meeting someone at a bar si one thing. Then it happens and you think to yourself how could oyu have a relationship wiht that person after this. It's pretty stupid, but I guess deep down soem of us guys do have morals. But then I'am just as bad, this could be a breaking point for me, I finally realize why a girl gets so upset. | |
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| What do you do?
Posted: 10/30/2006 8:06:49 PM |
But then I'am just as bad, this could be a breaking point for me, I finally realize why a girl gets so upset.
Yippy! 
Ahh...what a cool lil thread, thanks! | |
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| What do you do?
Posted: 10/30/2006 8:40:53 PM |
Oh Dime, I'm just stunned! It only took one night to get you into bed, too. Yanno?
Haha....busted!!!
Seriously. I don't hide the fact that I've fallen prey to my neanderthal instincts in the past. In fact, I think the mere fact that I can recognize them as such and learn from them is what sets me apart from those neanderthals.
Perhaps it is unfair to think this way, but I don't think of women as having these neanderthal instincts. I believe men have a far greater sexual drive and that allows us to make far greater mistakes (though certainly doesn't excuse them).
Knowing what I know now, that I'm not the kind that likes to exploit women, I feel that a first night sexual escapade is likely destined to fail. Just my take on the issue. I suppose it could work, but there's always that question.
And you're right. The question is deservedly asked on the part of each of the individuals involved. | |
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| What do you do?
Posted: 10/30/2006 8:53:39 PM | Geez OP ~ some people look for years before they find someone to have incredible sex and laughter with. I don't see the problem. Well, other than this:
Or is there no point because a girl like this will only hurt you in the end.
A girl like this????? Sounds to me like respect is going to be an issue unless you get that old dated, stereotypical bs out of your head. So she is comfortable with her sexuality. Woo hoo ~ the ideal woman, in my opinion. Don't judge her any harsher than you would judge your own self, you were naked in that room also.
It sounds like a great thing ~ call her. You might actually find that she is more what you have been looking for than you first thought. Good luck.  | |
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| What do you do?
Posted: 10/30/2006 9:02:09 PM |
A girl like this????? Sounds to me like respect is going to be an issue unless you get that old dated, stereotypical bs out of your head. So she is comfortable with her sexuality. Woo hoo ~ the ideal woman, in my opinion. Don't judge her any harsher than you would judge your own self, you were naked in that room also.
Wait. Now I'm confused.
A woman that is comfortable with her sexuality, enough so to have sex on the first date, is the ideal woman??? I do judge myself as harshly as I judge others and that's why I've decided that my actions were inappropriate.
Don't get me wrong. It would be great if we could get this sort of thinking out of our heads. Nothing would be better than finding this type of woman who was comfortable enough with her sexuality to have sex on the first night, but it's impossible to not question the ease of it all.
Maybe it is old fashioned to think that nothing worth having comes easy, but it's true in so many ways. It isn't hard to believe that a relationship would be any different.
Like I said, I'm not trying to bash any one way of thinking here. It would be great. I just think it's a bit much to expect the questions to not be at the top of your mind in a situation like this. | |
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| What do you do?
Posted: 10/30/2006 9:19:38 PM | | What is the great 'value' in sex? Why does it need to be rationed ever so carefully, put off for until some arbitrary time frame passes? I understand a danger lies w/prevalence of STDs, but that's it. I'm really surprised that guys, young guys even are still so judgemental. I'd freak out if I ever had anyone disrespect me so; good enough to have sex with, but promptly shunned the day after? No, seriously, there'd be retribution.... | |
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| What do you do?
Posted: 10/30/2006 9:38:40 PM | Wait. Now I'm confused.
A woman that is comfortable with her sexuality, enough so to have sex on the first date, is the ideal woman??? I do judge myself as harshly as I judge others and that's why I've decided that my actions were inappropriate.
I don't know what the ideal woman is for you. For this particular poster, he made it clear that even if he has nothing in common with a woman, he has sex (as posted in post #1.) Therefore, finding a woman who he can have "amazing" sex with and one that he actually likes, sounds fairly ideal to me. I didn't read your post, so I have NO clue what you feel regretful about, nor does it pertain to my post as I was posting specifically to the OP. He is obviously very interested in sex no matter who it's with and no matter what feelings may be or not be available with that person. So in his case, yes, the woman he speaks of sounds ideal to me, for him. For someone else, I have no idea. What is "ideal" for one, may not be ideal for another. The joy of personal preference. JMO
Edit: And for the comment about anything worthwhile is worth waiting for is also a stereotypical view. I met my exhusband and immediately knew he and I were a couple. And we were. He moved in shortly after and we married within a year. Although we are divorced, he remains a daily constant in my life ~ 7 years post-divorce. I certainly am worth waiting for, and so was he ~ but we didn't feel the need to wait. If it works, it works. There is no set time frame for sex or anything else ~ waiting works sometimes, sometimes it isn't necessary. JMO | |
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shryko
| | Joined: 10/21/2006
Msg: 23 | |
| What do you do?
Posted: 10/30/2006 9:43:56 PM | I'd say you've waited too long... for what you should've done...
not too late to go for it... but you're probably going to be regretting waiting so long. if the person was like that, then you probably weren't the only one who enjoyed it and thought there could be more.
If you liked it so much, you might as well give it a shot. | |
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| What do you do?
Posted: 10/31/2006 2:25:06 AM | Perhaps it is unfair to think this way, but I don't think of women as having these neanderthal instincts. I believe men have a far greater sexual drive and that allows us to make far greater mistakes (though certainly doesn't excuse them).
Holy crap---this coffee's hot!
Could I be more stunned?! Unfrigginbelievable!
Be happy that I need to get ready for work and don't have time to say what I wanna say, my darlin' Dime! Man o man! | |
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Sigi
| | Joined: 5/26/2005
Msg: 25 | |
| What do you do?
Posted: 10/31/2006 2:47:49 AM | I believe men have a far greater sexual drive and that allows us to make far greater mistakes
 ...(and getting ready for work as well...) | |
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