| friends in wheelchairs - is the extra work worth it??
Posted: 10/31/2006 2:54:53 PM | I'm looking to meet new and hopefully interesting people.... doesn't matter if they're male or female but I could only put one option in and I get along better with guys. My question, before my continous rambling and bad spelling scares you all off is....
Are people in general OK with having a friend in a wheelchair? We're so much more hassle, you have to think of things to do that are accessable, and some people just seem uncomfortable with it in general. How is the general feeling here? | |
|
| friends in wheelchairs - is the extra work worth it??
Posted: 10/31/2006 2:57:11 PM | Well Id have no Idea where the places are that are accesible but they would - so to me It would make NO difference at all. Id gladly have them as a friend If the personalitys connected between us  | |
|
| friends in wheelchairs - is the extra work worth it??
Posted: 10/31/2006 2:59:31 PM | | Does it make that person any different? NO. Theres things I cant do... like parallel park very well. If people are afraid of a chair then thats their problem. Heck, I dated a guy in one before. Yeap, some things were a little hectic... thats just how it goes. A chair shouldnt make a darn difference. | |
|
Sguss
|
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 4 | |
| friends in wheelchairs - is the extra work worth it??
Posted: 10/31/2006 3:02:44 PM | I'm fine with people in wheelchairs. Part of it might be because when I was younger I worked with quadraplegics and paraplegics (forgive the spelling mistakes). Along with working with them though we became friends and did stuff socially together - going out to concerts, to bars to watch live bands, arcades to play video games, sporting events, etc.
In my opinion being someone's friend is about being there for them - regardless of a wheelchair or not. From the look of your profile you seem to be a fun person to hang out with, so I am sure you will meet new friends here and have a blast.
Happy fishing and best of luck!
Sam | |
|
| |
| friends in wheelchairs - is the extra work worth it??
Posted: 10/31/2006 3:36:33 PM | One of my best friends is in a wheelchair.
Another is blind. As is his wife. I was best man at their wedding. :p
I don't care what "disability" someone might have. If you're a great person, then I'd be happy to call you friend.
And while it's true sometimes we have to try and plan around things, like finding a place that's accessible... that's never stopped us from going out and having fun. | |
|
| |
| friends in wheelchairs - is the extra work worth it??
Posted: 10/31/2006 4:45:42 PM | I have spent 6 months of the last year on crutches, and I'm now on a cane. So no, I wouldn't give a damn that you're in a wheelchair.
PS I just tried to email you, but I guess you don't want to talk to people my age, or americans....
PPS, having lived as a disabled person for awhile, and an able bodied person for a long time before that, I think the problem is this--able bodied people are worried about making some sort of faux pas around the disabled. This is the result of the terrible scourge known as political correctness.
Don't think of yourself as a disabled person, let people know you won't get offended if they make some blunder, and you'll do fine. | |
|
| friends in wheelchairs - is the extra work worth it??
Posted: 10/31/2006 4:56:41 PM | | The wheelchair doesn't matter. If people think you are cool they will want to be your friend.i.e. they like they way you look, they think you are funny or interesting. No one looks at the chair if they think you are cool. Sadly people with handy caps tend to blame thier handy cap for anything that is not going right in their life. Look for birds of your feather. The chair won't matter at all. | |
|
| |
| friends in wheelchairs - is the extra work worth it??
Posted: 10/31/2006 6:17:57 PM | I have a friend that I met in College and he is in a wheelchair.
We go to different places, play basketball, and all kind of stuff.
When I first met him I was kinda scared to ask him what happened, but after that we hit it off great.
I personally don't see why anyone would have a problem with being friends or dating someone in a wheelchair. | |
|
| |
| friends in wheelchairs - is the extra work worth it??
Posted: 10/31/2006 7:06:00 PM | What extra effort. ....it is just different effort.
I have fully abled friends that take way more effort than any of my differently abled friends.
Almost all my best friends have issues, so what, I still love them just the way they are.
I have the ability to love someone for who they are, not what they can or cannot do, or even what they look like. It really is all in the heart..... for me anyway.
 | |
|
| friends in wheelchairs - is the extra work worth it??
Posted: 10/31/2006 7:27:19 PM | | I wanted to reply to your email as I wanted to tell you why I am uncomfortable around someone in a wheelchair. It is not the chair ,it is not knowing what to do or say. I went to dinner once with a gorgous man who was in a wheelchair and I felt so bad because he insisted on pulling out my chair etc which was terribly hard for him. It was all so much work and no fun at all for him. He was very nice though. I wish he would have told me what was fun for him and explained what was hard to do and what was easy for him. I liked him and we had fun later... you have to explain alot about wheelchairs to some people who have no knowledge of them, so they are comfortable. The wheelchair di not matter it was my lack of knowledge that was uncomfortable. | |
|
zooom
|
Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 15 | |
| friends in wheelchairs - is the extra work worth it??
Posted: 10/31/2006 7:31:52 PM | | Old people in chairs are a hassle, because you can't just drag them along like the younger ones who still bend and bounce instead of cracking and snapping. The whole pointy of being alive is to take what's there and make a good time of it. I think a wheelchair is a minor consideration compared to such things as personality disorders that make every waking moment a living hell. After my able-bodied, athletic ex-girlfriend's mental problems I would think a physical disability would be easy to take in stride, so to speak. Or roll with. That sounds better. | |
|
| friends in wheelchairs - is the extra work worth it??
Posted: 10/31/2006 7:32:37 PM | >> my differently abled friends.
Ok, where's the puke emoticon??
I despise political correctness.
I'd rather be called crippled than "differently abled".
And yeah, my handicap is likely not permanent, but it is coming up on a year now since I could walk like a normal person, so I am handicapped. And I have no problem with that fact or that word. | |
|
| friends in wheelchairs - is the extra work worth it??
Posted: 10/31/2006 7:36:34 PM | | ok i'm not a guy(atleast not to my knowledge) but I just wanted to say that there are many benefits to having a friend ina wheelchair...and no i'm not referring to the parking....alot of people in wheelchairs are very independant. It's also easier to appreciate what you have going for yoruself if you see others overcome such major "drawbacks" such as the inability to do "normal everyday tasks" like a flight of stairs.... friends who refuse your friendship because of your handicaps are not worth your time or friendship....they're obviously too superficial | |
|
| friends in wheelchairs - is the extra work worth it??
Posted: 10/31/2006 7:49:48 PM | I could give a rats a$$ if someone is in a wheelchair or not. I personally believe that people are people though they may come in many shapes, sizes, physical abilities, attitudes, being able to play Swan Lake with a Kazoo stuck in their butt, or whatever else.
Here are my answers to your specific questions that I have seen/experienced:
I have found that people in general (barely I will add) are OK with it.
NO! you are not "so much more hassle" as you say. This is what we people call having friends. If you're friends and have a good friendship then thats it. No worries!
People seem uncomfortable? Well I hate to say it, but it needs to be said (for the rest of society). They are! I can say that from a man who was raised by awsome parents and my mother being someone who was/is in a chair, I know from years of personal experience that some people are turned off/avoiding/stand offish/rude/comments behind your back, kinda people. I really think that these types of people are either just dumb, ignorant, shallow, or just plain scared. I think it's that they don't have the guts or ability to adjust. That is not your problem, that is their problem.
BTW, I don't have to think of things to do that are accessible, friends just figure out sheeot to do with each other and work it out on the fly. The only thing I ever had to think about was air travel, had to get there a little early, which btw made me a better person now (thanks mom!) because I still show up early and have yet to miss a flight.
As a good friend of mine Gary says (he happens to be in a chair), "the only difference between you and me is, I don't stagger after a few shots!" | |
|
| friends in wheelchairs - is the extra work worth it??
Posted: 10/31/2006 11:32:09 PM | It really depends for me....
If I knew someone prior to them being in a wheel chair then it wouldn't be a big deal at all because we have a history and I wouldn't feel as if I had to watch what I said and what not.
It just wouldn't be a issue at all.
If it was someone I have never met before the learning curve would just be greater. Untill I figured out how they handled themselves and what there attitude about thereselves where I would be more cautious. | |
|
| friends in wheelchairs - is the extra work worth it??
Posted: 11/2/2006 12:30:31 PM | differently abled.....definitely NOT crippled
proof available here
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8355346054508427732
amazing demonstration of talent on that video.
I want to go see a full contest. | |
|
| |
| friends in wheelchairs - is the extra work worth it??
Posted: 11/2/2006 2:34:14 PM | at least you dont have a date that whispers behind your back "She's deaf, she lip-reads"... how embarassing
c'est la vie... you smile and carry on because you are who you are
smell the roses and check out the sunset
ps.. extra work?? i think not.. extra work is when my kids teacher brings more homework home | |
|
| friends in wheelchairs - is the extra work worth it??
Posted: 11/2/2006 2:50:52 PM | ^^When I am with a deaf person, and some hearing person is getting annoyed with them because they think the deaf person is ignoring them, I volunteer the information that the person is deaf. It saves a lot of hard feelings and makes interactions a little more pleasant ("she's not ignoring you, buddy--she's deaf.")
Of course, I realize that a few deaf people try to pretend to be hearing...to each their own. I never know how to act around those people, as I think there is nothing wrong with being deaf.
PS, most of the deaf people I have met sign (that's how I met them--I sign, too), so obviously they aren't trying to keep their deafness a secret.
PPS, if you can hear him whisper behind your back, you're hard of hearing, not deaf. | |
|
| |
| |
Home
login 
